We kissed until the desperation for air drove us apart. I tipped my head back and let the water take over, let myself hide even while cursing the fact that my hair would be back to wet and tangled and I wouldn’t be able to escape into sleep.
Maybe Eli will brush it again.
Just the thought threatened to buckle my knees. The man had magic hands, whether they were working my body or a hairbrush. In fact, Rhys should have worried more about Eli’s hands than his cock, though that was magic too.
Speaking of hands… Eli sluiced water over my body, even nudging my legs apart and directing a handheld nozzle to blast a warm spray between them. I squeaked at the intimate invasion and opened my eyes to stare down at him on his knees, intent on cleaning my pussy. “Eli—”
“Shhh.” He leaned forward, placed a tender kiss on my thigh, my lower belly, the opposite thigh. “Let me take care of you. I didn’t before, but—”
He broke off with a muttered curse, a vee digging between his brows, and I knew then… It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk about what had happened between us. It was that he was too busy beating himself up to find the words to say.
Stepping back, I took the nozzle from him, gripped his bicep, and urged him to his feet. He came, but this time he wouldn’t look at me. Even as I rinsed him, even with my hand between his legs, cupping him to hold him steady for the water, he stared at the floor, no reaction. Well, some reaction—his cock hardened again, and the balls hanging below firmed at my touch. He liked my hands on him, my mouth. He liked being inside me. And I liked all those things with him too, more than I’d ever expected. Which meant we had to talk this out.
“I’m on a birth control shot,” I finally said. Eli’s eyes jerked up to meet mine. “It’s okay, Eli. I can’t get pregnant.”
I could see the denial form on his lips, knew he was focusing on the small percentage of cases where pregnancy occurred anyway. I placed my fingers on his lips to hold the words back. We were adults; both of us knew the stats.
Eli sighed hard and pulled me against him, his big cock pressing firmly into my belly. I snuggled closer, needing to feel him there, feel his hard chest cushioning my breasts.
“We both know pregnancy isn’t the only thing to worry about,” he said quietly, “although I will admit with Abby… Well, it was where my mind went. But—” He shook his head, his chin nudging my temple, his stubble scraping my skin. “I should have thought, should have protected you. I’m sorry.”
I set my palms on his cheeks and forced him to look at me. “I’m sorry too. Because it’s not just about protecting ‘the little woman.’ Disease goes both ways. But…I can tell you I’m clean. My team may be covert, but we make sure we stay healthy, no matter what.” I quirked a grin. “Can’t fight if you’re sick.”
Eli closed his eyes and kissed me then, though I’m not sure why. Because I took care of myself? Because I was realistic about sex and its consequences? I didn’t know or care; I opened my mouth and kissed him back, reveled in the feel of his hands gripping my head, feeling his cock bump against me as my nipples got hard.
Eli finally broke the kiss. “I’m clean too, and yes, we do check regularly.” He gave a half-hearted chuckle. “And yeah, for the same reason you do.”
“We are so much alike it’s a little scary.”
Eli traced the water running down my shoulders, across the curves of my breasts, all the way down to the droplets dangling from my nipples. “Not too alike.”
I sucked in a breath as his fingers tightened, sending a zing through my body. “No,” I croaked. “Thank fuck for that.”
His smile was dark, intent. Step by step he slowly backed me up until my spine met the cool tile wall and I cried out. A hard, tangled-tongues kiss stole the sound from my mouth. I loved how he kissed—with emotion, with honesty. With greed. I didn’t ever feel like his attention was elsewhere, like he was only kissing me to hurry me along to the good stuff. No, his mouth was focused on me, his intent and his hunger obvious in every move of his tongue and lips, every breath that filled my mouth. I lost all track of time, my senses zeroed in on Eli, nothing else.
Until he broke the kiss to lift me against him. His hard arms hooked beneath my legs to lift and part them, and his hard pecs pressed me into the tile. Eli cursed, reached a hand to a spot near the shower door where I hadn’t realized he’d stashed a condom. I balanced carefully on one leg while he sheathed himself one-handed, and then he was back and the breath slammed out of both of us as he lifted my leg and pushed deep inside me, all in a matter of seconds.
“So full,” I gasped in his ear as he bent to bite along my collarbone.
“Damn right,” he growled. A small adjustment and he sank even deeper. I dug my nails into the thick muscles of his shoulders.
“That’s right, Beautiful,” he rumbled against my skin before he licked the water trailing along it. “You mark me. Mark what’s yours.”
I closed my eyes tight, unable to answer, to even consider the possibility of him being mine. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. So I moaned his name as I used my muscles to slide myself up his cock before dropping back down. A sound almost like a howl left him, and then he was leaning back, staring down at me as he started to lift and lower me on his stiff length. His eyes narrowed and he breathed hard, not from the strain but from desire—I knew because he swelled inside me, his cock pushing against tissues already swollen from before. And God, the friction… I felt almost raw, but if he’d tried to stop, I might have cut him. I needed him inside me, working, driving me closer and closer and closer to the edge I so desperately craved.
“Eli!” The sensation was almost there, so close. Without thinking I brought my hands to my breasts, squeezing against the ache growing inside them. Inside me.
“That’s it,” Eli growled. “Squeeze those tits, Beautiful. Let me see you pinch your nipples.”
I clamped down at his words, and his eyes rolled back in his head. The hard rhythm he’d set sped up even more. “Let me see it, Mikaela. Now.”
I didn’t know if I could stand it, but I did as he asked. The zing of every pinch shot straight to my clit, and I tilted my pelvis, catching the heavy slam of Eli’s cock there, adding to the desperate pleasure. My eyes were open; so were Eli’s. I watched as his gaze narrowed on my nipples, dropped to the place where my body rode his. Back and forth, down and up, he watched as the world and my heart sped up and it felt like I might lose myself any minute. Tighter. Hotter. Faster. Again and again until it all coalesced into a hard ball of pleasure that drew in, in, in—
And then exploded out. My body broke into a million pieces with a scream I had no ability to hold back. Eli’s cry joined mine as he forced my clenching body down on his and followed me right over the edge.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Levi —
Titus accompanied Remi and me to take the girls to the bunker around lunchtime. Maris and her team, off to one side, took their leave of each other. I studied the confidence in the woman’s body, the weapon strapped beneath her arm, and knew she’d be good backup for my brother in taking care of the rest. When she happened to glance my way, I gave her a short nod. A pleased look crossed her face as she returned the gesture.
Eli stood at the door of the mansion, hugging Geneva and Brooke, then Leah, then giving Diesel a long, rough pet and sending him off with a box of toys Brooke was placed in charge of. Much as I’d protested the addition of a pet, I had to admit the damn dog made my brother happy. And Brooke had certainly blossomed with the addition.
My mind flashed to the night when, only a few years older than Brooke, I’d killed Remi’s attacker in a dark alley in downtown Atlanta. My first kill. My hands had been stained every since, and yet, look at the family we’d built. One I’d never thought I could deserve. One I’d never thought I would want.
Now you could barely pry them from my control-freak hands.
At the door, Eli turned at Abby’s approach and eased her through the entrance. I couldn’t wa
tch their goodbye. All it took was the sight of her head tucked into Eli’s chest, his mouth at her ear as he murmured something I couldn’t hear, and the vise that seemed ever present lately did a hard clench on my chest, cutting off my air.
Unacceptable. I had to focus, keep my family protected whether I could be with them or not. So I shut the fucking emotions off and walked down the front steps to wait for Abby.
Three identical trucks were parked out front, fresh supplies to supplement what was already in the bunker packed in the back of each. Remi, Leah, and Brooke were already packed into one. Titus handed a delicate Geneva into the second, Maris waiting patiently just behind. The third truck belonged to Abby and me. We would all three take different routes to the bunker, though we were fairly certain we weren’t being watched at the moment. X’s flying piece of shit had taken a nosedive into the river along the edge of our property this morning, and now that Eli knew what to look for, he’d ensured we hadn’t acquired another, not yet.
Still, better safe than sorry, so we’d take our time getting to the safe house.
The slow, delicate tap of Abby’s footsteps crossed the front landing and headed down to me. I didn’t look back, knowing Eli would be at the door, simply held my hand out and waited until she took it. Only then could I glance at her. Red highlighted her eyes, swollen with lack of sleep and emotion. Leah had assured me that physically Abby’s body was healing as it should, and I trusted my soon-to-be sister-in-law, but worry rang like an alarm in my chest every time I saw Abby’s face, every time she flinched away from my touch, every time I caught the lost look in her eyes.
Time. This was going to take time.
Too bad time was one thing I had fucking little of right now.
I settled Abby in the front seat, then rounded the truck to get behind the wheel. The first few minutes were silent as I turned onto our route and kept a careful watch on our surroundings. This far out from town, it would be difficult to get the drop on us—too many empty roads, few turnoffs, little traffic. But the hum of the tires, the warmth of Abby tucked into the middle seat beside me, and the lack of suspicious activity eased some of my stress as the tires ate up the miles toward the bunker.
Finally I opened my mouth to say what I knew needed to be said before we joined the rest of the group: “Abby…you understand why I can’t stay with you right now?”
I hated the stiff tone of my voice, the same stiffness that had a stranglehold on me when I’d talked her through everything this morning. Not just what I wanted her to know, but everything, including X being in the mansion. And what I planned to do tonight, alone, or just me and Sullivan.
She hadn’t cried; she hadn’t said anything. But I needed to know—
Her warm hand settled on my thigh as she shifted until our bodies were pressed against each other. “I do understand. You aren’t leaving me alone, Levi; I know that. Remi will take good care of us. Geneva will baby us all—and love every minute of it. Leah and I will keep Brooke occupied, and—”
“And you’ll rest as much as possible,” I said firmly. Maybe dictatorially. What-fucking-ever. Abby knew me well enough to expect that by now.
She sighed, her hand squeezing down on my leg. “I’ll rest as much as possible. Although how I’m supposed to rest through all this, I don’t know.”
I picked up her hand and brought it to my mouth. “I’m sorry,” I murmured against her skin.
“There are things we can take the blame for, but as Geneva pointed out, this isn’t one of them.”
No, I couldn’t control a man I’d never heard of before all of this happened, but there were some things I could control, and I was about to fix one of them.
Digging into the side pocket of my fatigues, I retrieved a box I’d kept hidden in my closet for far too many months. Why? Who the fuck knows. Because I was scared. Because I was afraid of not being good enough for the woman who sat beside me, the woman who would kill me if she ever left me behind. If I wanted to make sure that didn’t happen, I needed to get the fuck over it and give her what I held in my hand.
I passed it quietly over to her. Held my breath.
For a moment Abby didn’t say a word. She straightened away from me, setting up a churning in my gut, but when I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, she wasn’t moving, just staring down at the blue velvet box she held in both hands. And then she flipped it open.
And gasped.
The central stone matched her eyes to perfection—green and amber and blue. That had been the deciding factor for me. Diamonds were clear, cold, and Abby was warmth personified. The Montana sapphire winking up at her embodied that warmth perfectly, the cushion-cut stone set in silver filigree, the ring engraved with similar markings; a vintage-inspired look that spoke directly to who Abby was, who she longed to be. A solid foundation of home and love—and scarred as I was, jaded by a life that had fucked me over until I returned the favor, I couldn’t think of a greater calling than to give that to her.
I could have spent a million, easy, on the biggest, flashiest ring I could find, but something told me that wasn’t Abby. She deserved more than my money, and I’d be damned if I gave her anything less.
“Levi?”
I pulled the truck into a neighborhood grocery and parked. Steeled myself. Shifted in my seat to face her and met her eyes. Confusion stared back at me. “I love you, Abby.”
She shook her head. “Levi, you can’t—”
“I sure as fuck can,” I growled. “I can and I will, for the rest of our lives.” I found myself gripping her hands, pushing the ring closer to her chest. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned through the last two years, it’s that I don’t give a fuck what else comes. It can be heaven and it can be hell. All I know is that either way, I want to experience it with you.”
She gave me a watery smile. “You just want to warn every other guy off your girl.”
“Off my wife.”
Her laugh hiccuped in her throat. And then her eyes turned serious and the laughter fled. “I don’t want you to regret this, especially after…”
I took the ring from the box, set the box in her lap, then tipped the correct finger of her left hand up. “I will never regret this. You might”—especially the way I seemed to fuck things up—“but I won’t.” I slid the ring onto her finger. “This isn’t ‘marry me so we can have kids.’ This isn’t ‘marry me so you can run the Agozi household better than my shit brothers and me.’ This is, I need you, little bird. I sure as fuck want you. Forever.”
I tried not to think about whether or not that forever might end tonight when I walked into X’s compound. I would use every skill I had to come back to her. Abby had deserved this long before I’d moved her into my home and my bed; it had been me dragging my stupid ass that made it take so many months. I wasn’t waiting anymore.
“Say yes, Abby.”
She looked down at the ring, then up at me. “Yes.”
My kiss was a hard invasion, taking what I so desperately wanted. We hadn’t kissed since the baby, since our world had fallen apart, and I did my best to reassure her—I hungered for her, needed her, loved her still. When we finally parted, her face was flushed and her lips were bruised and the smile on her face held a peace I’d feared I wouldn’t see again.
I was going to make sure it stayed.
We arrived at the bunker last, and I took the time to go over the place and the stock with Remi and Titus, get the new supplies situated. I knew when the women discovered the ring—a chorus of happy cries and laughter echoed off the metal walls. I ignored Remi’s questioning frown and finished up.
Then it was time to say goodbye.
My kiss wasn’t quick this time either, and I held Abby hard against me for a long time before I could force myself away. “We’ll be back at first light,” I promised her. She clutched my shirt and nodded and made herself strong—for me, though I didn’t deserve it. I’d never deserve her. I knew it as I walked away, and thanked whatever nebulous force in the
universe that had brought us together for giving me a fucking chance to have her in my bed. In my godforsaken life.
Titus and I drove back to the mansion the same way we’d driven out, separately and with much different routes. Back home we got to work with the others, refining our plan even more, laying out supplies. We ate, slept, and dressed as tension rose. The time to face our enemy had come, and every one of us was ready.
“Let’s go, Sullivan,” I said, striding into the living room at the front of the house.
Sullivan stood quietly at the window, looking out into the night. At my words, he turned, and I couldn’t help but notice the stiffness of his body. Our captive didn’t know if he’d live or die tonight.
Welcome to the club.
“I’m ready.” He approached the men from Nix’s team, shook their hands, murmured a few words like the civilized CEO he was purported to be, then made his way reluctantly to me. I’d come seconds away from killing him, so the reluctance didn’t surprise me. Didn’t change anything either. I’d promised not to shoot him in the head on the way to the compound; after that, who knew?
We walked into the foyer, where Eli and Nix waited. The two of them together…I didn’t like it. Too much change, too much I couldn’t control. But when our child had slipped from Abby’s body, I’d realized what everyone around me had been harping on forever, the single fact I finally got down deep in my head: some things you can’t control. I held the power of life and death in my hands on a daily fucking basis—and my child was still dead. Eli and Remi would build the families they wanted, not the ones I approved.
Life would go on, and I had no doubt I’d fight to control it till my very last fucking breath. That didn’t mean I could.
“We’ll be right behind you,” Eli said, clasping my hand between us as he leaned in for a hard hug.
I patted my chest where, beneath my shirt, a tiny beacon was affixed with a skin-colored tag. Undetectable. “I’ll be waiting.”
Assassin's Game (Assassins Book 4) Page 23
