Uncertainty

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Uncertainty Page 14

by Abigail Boyd


  A horn honked as Alex narrowly missed a little Ford driving past. The driver, a petite old lady who could barely be seen over the steering wheel, stuck her middle finger up.

  "Enough with the metal!" Theo said, and yanked out his iPod cord as they stuck their tongues out at each other. She spun the radio dial, settling on a mellow rock song instead.

  "Oh gag me," Alex said, mimicking Theo. She whopped his forearm.

  "Cut it out or I will," Theo said under her breath.

  I looked out the window, the guitar chords starting to worm into my brain as the sweet summer air rushed in. I could hear fireworks going off in the distance. The song sounded almost slightly off-key, the male singer morose.

  You didn't have much time

  before you left me

  I didn't see the crime

  in staying up for a while

  Just watching you

  My eyes slid shut, the lids heavy like shades. I wasn't tired, but I felt drained, like I was being tugged inside myself.

  I looked up, and saw a road sign — Sanitarium Road — outside the window. I ran my hands over my legs, and was surprised when I touched skin. I was wearing tattered jean shorts. Lifting my head, I saw the back of two men's heads in the front seats. We were in some kind of van.

  I opened my eyes, and Theo was looking at me again.

  "Hi, sleeping beauty. Wake up, we have a party to go to."

  I looked out the window, and saw the turn for Sanitarium road as the Creep bumbled along the road.

  "What way are we going? The orphanage is down that road." I knew Hell pretty well, but I'd never been far past this area. I never had a reason to go.

  "The McMansion part of town is over here. It's because it's near the lake," Alex said. "My parents were looking to move over here, but they couldn't afford it. Man, they were pissed."

  The dark road stretched ahead out the windshield. Alex turned, and I could hear a bass beat down the road. I could see the pale water of the lake beyond almost comically huge houses, houses that belonged in Beverly Hills, not Hell.

  Cars were parked on the side of the road for what looked like a mile. Alex found an empty spot and parallel parked the Creep deftly. He may have been reckless sometimes, but he was an adroit driver. He'd even talked about possibly stunt car racing for a living.

  Fireflies lit up in bursts, yellow twinkles in the gloom of dusk, like eyes watching from the shadows. Alex opened the door for Theo, and I hopped out of the back seat. Theo hooked her arm in mine as Alex started down the road.

  "Let's go see how the other half lives," Theo said, and we strode towards Lainey's house.

  CHAPTER 15

  "HAVE YOU BEEN here before?" Theo asked, after we'd hiked past what seemed like hundreds of abandoned cars. The whole scene reminded me of the end of the world. It looked like everyone had just evaporated, leaving their belongings behind. The bass beat grew louder the closer we got to our destination.

  "Yeah, I've been to parties here before," Alex said, shrugging. "Her house is massive. Like, you would think her dad was governor, not just a business owner."

  Around a curve in the road, the princess's palace came into view. It was four stories high, with a zig-zag balcony running down the back. The architecture was modern and boxy, but it had been built in the style of a log cabin. And it was right on the shore of the lake, propped up on posts to support it from any water level changes.

  It was probably the tackiest house I'd ever seen.

  "You weren't kidding," I said, looking up at the brightly-lit windows. Ten families could have fit inside. It didn't surprise me, it just made me a little disgusted. But I'd always figured Lainey's family would live somewhere outlandish.

  Theo and I trekked behind Alex, around the back of the house. Tiki torches stuck out cockeyed from the dirt along a stone pathway. People were outside drinking and being rowdy. Beer cans were piled up on the ground.

  "Just so you know, the booze flows pretty freely here," Alex warned us.

  I felt really young and immature all of a sudden, a flip-flop from how I'd felt earlier. I wasn't a drinker, I'd never even thought about trying drugs, and I intended to keep it that way. We went in through open french doors. It seemed like every head turned towards us as we entered.

  "They're all looking at us, aren't they?" I said to Theo. I felt completely out of place.

  "Most definitely," she agreed, clutching my arm.

  Alex just ignored the gawkers, charging through the crowd like a bull. He definitely had experience at this kind of party, and he knew how to navigate. Theo and I stuck behind him, using him as our human shield to absorb the impact of the stares.

  The place was packed, and the music was so loud I could feel it thumping in my chest. Red solo cups littered the wooden floor. As the exterior suggested, it had been decorated in a rustic lodge theme. The furniture and draperies were all in hunter green and brown tones. Photos of Cliff, posing with dead deer and game fowl, were framed along the walls, almost Lainey's coifed school portraits. In every picture of Cliff, he was grinning.

  Taxidermied antlers and other animal parts were hung up in what appeared to be the living room. The giant screen TV was on, but no one was watching what looked like an accident compilation video. Someone had hung a padded pink bra on a real, stuffed brown bear in the corner, raised up on its haunches as if to attack.

  Alex led us around the clusters of people, to a pristine, gourmet kitchen. Shining copper pots hung from a rack on the ceiling above a black marble island. They looked like they'd never been used, and probably hadn't been. The cabinets and all of the appliances were a matching, shiny black. There were less people in here, only a few guys who were talking around the refreshments.

  A boy who could only be described as a dude-bro, with his baseball cap on backwards, came up and thumped Alex on the shoulder.

  "Heyyy, didn't think you'd make it!" the dude-bro said. His eyes were bloodshot and he smelled skunky.

  "Hey, Trever," Alex said, bumping Trever's fist. "This is my girlfriend Theo and her friend Ariel."

  Trever didn't even cast his eyes in our direction. He started tugging Alex away. "You gotta come say hi to the guys. Where you been keeping yourself?"

  "I'll be right back, okay?" Alex told Theo. She looked taken aback, but he patted her shoulder and took off, disappearing into the crowd outside the kitchen.

  Huge plastic bowls of potato and tortilla chips sat on the counters, and the double sink was full of ice. One side had cans of beers, one side pop. Bottles of half-full liquor were next to that.

  Guarding the snacks and alcohol were a group of senior-looking boys, who were eying us like cats stalking mice. I didn't like what I saw in their stares, and I was reminded of Alex's earlier warning about my clothes.

  I didn't want to venture back out into the crowded party, though. We were trapped. And Alex had made it sound like we should wait here.

  "Would you two ladies like a drink?" One of the boys asked us. His eyebrows were orange, matching his cropped hair. His question had been rhetorical, since he had already poured shots and was holding them out.

  I hesitated, but Theo grabbed a shot and downed it, coughing loudly.

  "What are you doing?" I hissed under my breath.

  "Live a little, babe," the tallest boy said. "You don't get out much, huh?"

  "I get out just fine," I said through gritted teeth, crossing my arms over my now seemingly naked torso.

  Carrot top handed Theo another drink. I almost slapped it out of her hand. I'd never seen Theo be so reckless before; she had so often been the voice of reason.

  "What?" she asked me, blushing. "Isn't this what we came here for? Partying?"

  "They're just trying to peer pressure their way into your pants," I protested.

  "I know. But I'll know when to stop, I won't let anything happen." She slammed the shot back, coughing again, but less this time. "Hey, it's like cake. Neat." I apparently didn't look amused. "Alex is going to be right bac
k. Loosen up, okay, please? For me?"

  I took the other shot that Carrot top guy was still holding out. I looked at it like I just knew there was a roofie in there. But I drank it back.

  I immediately wanted to throw up. There was nothing cake-like about it; it tasted like sour frosting that someone had left out in the sun. "This is a travesty, not frosting."

  Theo giggled. "You and your big words."

  "You ladies go to Hawthorne?" Another of the boys asked.

  "Yeah. We're seniors," Theo said, tossing her hair. I cringed, but I told myself if she went too far I'd drag her the five miles back to Alex's car.

  "And you?" I asked, directing the question towards the boys.

  "We're at Mott," one boy said. "Cept Jeremy, here. He's taking time off to find his wang." Jeremy was the redhead.

  Theo ended up drinking several more shots, despite my protests. Jeremy put his arm around her.

  "I like your sparkles," he said in a smarmy voice. She grinned, looking innocent of what he so obviously was intending to do.

  "Okay, time to get a move on," I said, pulling her out from underneath him and leading her away. Touching was my red flag. I could tell the room was spinning for her since she couldn't walk in a straight line.

  "You know, they make bacon flavored vodka, too? That's awesome," Theo said dreamily.

  As we were leaving the kitchen, we ran into Alex, who seemed out of breath.

  "I'm sorry it took me so long," he said. "They wouldn't shut up. I never knew I met so many people in my lifetime." Then he noticed Theo's intoxicated state. "What's going on here?"

  "Just a little fun," Jeremy said from behind us. "Your girl knows how to handle her liquor." He and his buddies slinked out of the room.

  "We're loosening up," I told Alex grimly, still balancing Theo's arm on my shoulders.

  Theo put her arm around me, too. "I love you, dear best friend that I love. This is fun."

  "Please don't throw up on me."

  "I'm sorry I left you guys," Alex said. He seemed to find the whole thing funny. He grabbed Theo around the waist. "Let's go play a video game or something, sober you up a little. You coming with?"

  I shrugged. Now that the danger of drunken boys had passed, I felt a little more comfortable. "I'll wander around some more."

  "Suit yourself. We'll be in the entertainment room at the end of the hall. Come find me if you get uncomfortable at all. Text me if you can't find it."

  "Will Theo...?"

  "Theo will be fine. I'll take care of her."

  He led her away, leaving me alone. My sudden bravado was fleeting. After I'd taken a few deep breaths, pushing away the heartburn from the vodka, I went out into the living room. It seemed to be more crowded than before, people dancing randomly together, others talking in shouting voices. Some couples were making out up against the wall, flagrantly pawing each other.

  A couple of girls were whispering to each other behind their hands, staring at me. This wasn't entertaining, either.

  A wide staircase led to the third floor. People were standing and talking on the bottom steps, but it seemed like the top was less jammed. My fear of crowds was making me claustrophobic. I had to find some space. I climbed the stairs and was relieved to find the upstairs hallway empty.

  The music pulsed beneath my shoes. It reminded me of something else, but I couldn't remember where I'd felt such a sensation.

  Facing me were rows of doors on either side. The middle one on the right was cracked open just enough to let a sliver of dim light out. I went inside, hoping it wasn't Lainey's room, and hoping there wouldn't be people making out or worse inside.

  But it was an unoccupied guest room. The light came from outside, as there was a sliding glass door leading to a balcony. I sat down on the bedspread, printed with brown and pink seashells. A garish painting of a seagull hung opposite. The Fords were big on motel theme decorating, apparently.

  I felt like I needed fresh air. The balcony door was already unlocked. On the second floor, they probably didn't worry about locking it. The night seemed to call to me, beckoning me outside. The balcony would be the perfect place to be alone.

  The door slid open smoothly, and I stepped out.

  "Well, if it isn't my destroying angel," Henry said.

  He was sitting on a lawn chair at the end of the balcony. Three empty brown beer bottles were lined up on a small plastic table in front of him, another in his hand.

  "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was here...out here," I babbled. "I'll go." I turned to go back into the guest room.

  "No, no. Sit down, stay a while."

  I froze, debating my options. At least I felt a weird sense of safety around Henry, mind games or not. Safer at least than the rest of the party-going crowd. It really wasn't much different than our meetings at the library; this was just more secluded.

  I tentatively took a seat in another patio chair. We had a bird's eye view of the party on the lawn below. The music and the noise of people talking and shouting was blessedly muted up in our roost. People were tossing light-up Frisbees at each other, diving to catch them.

  "You want a beer? I have beer," Henry offered. And he'd obviously consumed all three of the beers in front of him by his slurred words.

  "No thanks," I said, shrugging away. "I just had a bad experience with cupcake flavored vodka."

  Henry laughed, running his hand through his hair.

  "That sounds rough."

  "It was, believe me. I'm never going to look at cupcakes again without getting nauseated. Theo is tanked right now."

  "Theo's drunk?" This caused him to laugh again. It was an odd sound to hear, since he'd been so serious for a while. I remembered how much I used to treasure it. "I bet it only took a spoonful, too, she's such a tiny thing."

  Sitting in silence, we watched idiotic boys down below shooting off firecrackers and cheap fireworks. The sparks rained down, causing them to run around in panic as they burned through their clothes. Then they came right back for more.

  "Lab rats," Henry said.

  "Huh?" I asked.

  "You don't even need cheese," Henry said cryptically, taking another sip of beer. I just sat quietly, watching another firework go off with a loud hiss and a pop.

  I looked him over, assessing how rough of a shape he was in. He was worrying his lip, leaning forward in his seat. A new bruise crossed the back of his neck, and I watched him rub it and wince.

  "You've gotten pretty accident prone lately, haven't you?" I observed.

  "Yeah," he said. "I don't watch where I'm going."

  I jumped as another firework went off, and the sky filled for a moment with a blast of silver sparkles.

  I miss our study groups," Henry said suddenly. "It's not the same at the library."

  "That was a long time ago," I said softly. But it didn't seem so long ago right now. It seemed like just yesterday he was in the den at my house, me pushing up closer to get more of him, as much as he'd allow me.

  The foolish impulse to touch him, in any way, even just his hand, his skin, anything, hit me. I squeezed the plastic arms of the chair and sat back as it squeaked. His eyes traveled to the ribbon of stomach exposed beneath my top, and I pulled it down, blushing.

  Henry rolled up the sleeves of his button down shirt. I took in that and his spotless khakis.

  "So I've been meaning to ask you...what made you start dressing like a youth minister?" I asked.

  He grinned a little, and pushed a lock of dark hair out of his eyes.

  "This is what my father wants me to wear. So I wear it." He shrugged and finished with his sleeves. The exposed skin of his forearms was tantalizing to me.

  He picked up another beer out of a cooler at his side. Holding it by the neck, he offered it to me. Feeling a little impulsive, I took it from him, our fingers brushing together. Giving him the side eye, I took a swig.

  "Bleh," I said, sticking my tongue out and wrinkling my nose.

  "That's cute," he muttered, smirking, as
he took the beer back and put it up to his lips. My obsession with those lips really hadn't gone away in all this time, and it took everything in me to push my thoughts away from kissing his tempting mouth.

  "Alcohol is possibly the most overrated liquid ever," I said, wiping my gritty tongue on my sleeve.

  "It tastes awful, sure, but it does the trick, dear."

  The old pet name struck me in the chest. He didn't seem to notice. Draining the bottle, he lifted it up, looking like he was going to fling it.

  "How many points do I get if I take out those jerks down there?" he asked.

  I snickered, getting heady just from sitting next to him. Being around Henry took guilty pleasure to new heights, especially since he was acting more like his old self. I hadn't seen this boy in a while.

  "Ten for those skinny guys with their pants falling down, thirty if you can manage that quarterback fellow over there," I instructed.

  Henry shut one eye and touched his tongue to his upper lip, his piercing glinting in the light above us. He flung the bottle down below where it hit the grass innocently. None of the kids now playing hackie sack on the lawn even noticed.

  He let off the rest of the bottles. This time the boys below noticed, but we ducked out of sight as they looked up at us, jeering.

  "You need more bottles," I observed.

  "I need more alcohol," he corrected.

  "I don't know about that," I said. His brown eyes were already reddened, a flush creeping across his cheeks.

  "Why not? I just want to forget about everything," he said.

  "I think I'm going to go," I said, standing up and heading for the door. "It's easier to forget when you're by yourself."

  "Wait," he said from his seat. He rose swiftly, coming over to me.

  He reached out his hand, grasping hold of my forearm. This time I didn't pull away.

  "I can't give in to you," I said, pleading mentally for him to just back off. I knew I wouldn't be able to resist him. "It wouldn't be right..."

  In an instant our mouths were together. His arms wrapped around my back, pulling me closer, and I responded in kind. I clutched his shirt, his body flush against mine, feeling the heat emanating from him. Heat I'd stirred within him.

 

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