I was fed up. “Tell me everything, Jhett. Tell me everything right now, or I swear I’ll walk out that door and get on a plane back to Tennessee. Fuck your ‘promises’ and your ‘proposition’!” I clenched my fists tightly by my side.
“If you would just sit down, I’ll tell you. But you can’t interrupt me. You have to listen to the whole thing before you go running out that door,” he said. His hand slipped into mine and pulled me back on to my spot on the couch. I tried to ignore the feeling that his touch sent through my body, setting all my nerve endings on fire. Finally he let go, took a deep breath like he was preparing for battle, and began his story.
“I haven’t always lived in San Diego. I bought this house a few years ago, but I grew up further north of here, with my mom and my older sister. My mom passed away right after I turned eighteen, and my dad left the picture long ago. My sister, Gracie, was already here to go to college, so when I finally wanted to settle down, I chose San Diego so I could be closer to her. After moving into the house, I found myself drawn to the beach at night. When it’s dark, it is like no other place I’ve been to. It’s quiet and serene, unlike the hustle and bustle of the crowds during the day. I spent most of the time working or going to school, but about a year ago I met Cameron. He was lying on the beach just after the sun went down and I thought he was asleep, so I went over to wake him up. The cops can be kind of crazy about the ‘No-one-on-the-beach-after-sunset’ rule on that part of the beach.
“After that, we seemed to run into each other a lot, always around the same time of night. Apparently he liked to stay out on the shore after he finished surfing, and I liked the company. We talked a lot. My only guess is that both of us needed a friend. I eventually convinced him to check out Riot Night and listen to the band I play in now. It wasn’t really his scene, but he had fun, especially after he met my sister. They hit it off right away, but were never really committed or anything.
“I went on a small tour with the band over the winter, which is why we didn’t get to meet when you came to visit - even though Cameron threatened to never let that happen anyway. He claimed you were a real heartbreaker. You’re the one thing he could go on and on about, Charlie. He really loved you, and always regretted not staying back in Tennessee with you.
“What happened with Cameron hit me really hard. He borrowed Gracie’s car the night he got hit by the drunk driver. No one could believe it happened to him. He didn’t just leave you behind he left Gracie, too. It shouldn’t have been him, Charlie…” Jhett’s words ended in a whisper, leaving me with an uneasy feeling that there was more to the story than he let on.
I was left staring at him. I planned on getting my questions answered, but I never expected myself to lose control and not be able to gain it back. Trying to formulate my thoughts was difficult; I still had so many more questions to ask. All I could get to come out were sobs. As I looked at Jhett, I could see pain visible in his eyes, too, except there seemed to be traces of guilt as well.
Before my body could react, I was enveloped into Jhett’s strong arms. I couldn’t fight it. I just continued to cry, letting out all the emotions that I held up inside me for so long flow out of my body; nestling myself into a comfortable spot on his chest. He was no longer the irritating man who chased me down outside the bar. He was now the only person I ever cried in front of that wasn’t family.
“You’re okay, Charlie. Shhhh. It’s okay.” He repeared the same soothing words into my ear, and lightly held me against his chest. He didn’t know it, but he kept me from shattering into a million little pieces all over his wacky-colored house.
I finally regained my composure and took a deep breath, only quivers of emotion left in my throat. I pulled away from him, strangely self-conscious of the emotional breakdown he just witnessed. I tried to wipe away the stains of tears that were left on my face, but I knew there was no use fixing that now. Shaking my hair out of its bun, I let the long waves fall over my shoulders, unruly and untamed as I buried my face in my hands. The silence that overtook the room hit me dead on, and I looked up to meet Jhett’s concerned face. “I’m sorry. I’m not normally like that…I just…I can’t….” My words refused to come out as I planned.
“Shhh. Stop. You’re fine. You don’t have to say sorry.” Jhett reached over and let his fingers rake through my hair, pushing some rogue strands behind my ears. His gentle touch caused my eyelids to flutter. “I can drive you home, if you want,” he offered.
I swallowed. The thought of being alone scared me. “Can I stay? I mean, just for a little bit? I really don’t want to go home and be alone right now….” I shifted my eyes downward, suddenly interested in anything that would distract me from his mesmerizing deep brown eyes.
“You’re welcome here as long as you want to stay. We can watch a movie.” Jhett jumped off the couch, his excitement pushing away some of the sadness that still lingered. He began to rifle through the stacks of movies that sat in the entertainment center. “I don’t have many chick movies, but…I can find something.” Jhett was really trying, and I had to admit, I enjoyed it. It wasn’t often that I had someone to fret over me like he did.
“Do you have any Indiana Jones?” I asked sheepishly, unsure of what Jhett’s reaction would be.
“Ah…a girl after my own heart. Should we start with Raiders of the Lost Ark and work our way through them?” That boyish grin appeared on his face again. I didn’t know when it happened, but I had a much different opinion of Jhett now. He was actually being genuinely thoughtful.
“Whatever you want,” I replied, but he already started to set up the movie. No more than a few seconds later, he was back by my side on the couch. The movie started while I desperately tried to get situated, but my mind was still going a mile a minute.
“Here,” he said, and placed a pillow from behind him on his lap. “Just get comfortable. I don’t bite. I promise to keep my hands to myself.” He held his hands up in the air, showing me both of them as if cops pursued him.
I paused, trying to think of what to make of the invitation. “Fine. Just don’t get squirrely, Tattoos,” I said, and my head found a spot on the pillow. Jhett held his breath, fighting with himself to stay true to his word and find a place for his hand. He sought out the safest spot, resting his arm right next to my head. I curled on my side, looking at the TV but not really watching it. I focused on the gentle up and down rhythm of his breaths, and tried to mirror mine to his. “Can I ask you something?” Thinking about it, I wasn’t satisfied with his story. I needed more answers.
“Sure, shoot - as long as you keep tears out of those pretty blue eyes of yours,” he responded.
I rolled towards the TV a little more, attempting to create a veil of hair over my face to hide my nervousness. “Who’s Ginger?” I needed to piece together the puzzle I still wasn’t even sure fit together.
“That’s my sister Gracie’s nickname. She goes by that because of her red hair and fiery personality. Why?” I could feel him looking down on me, searching my hidden face for clues.
“I found it on a napkin in Cameron’s apartment. I didn’t know he was dating anyone, but I kind of hoped he wasn’t two-timing your sister after the story you told me. They were happy, right?” I turned my head to finally look up at Jhett.
He nodded. “I think they were. They tried to act like they weren’t a couple for a long time, but everyone saw through it. I spent a lot of time over at her place after Cameron died. She is really struggling with him being gone and regrets not being serious with him when she had the chance. He really loved her - he told me he did. But that doesn’t make her feel any better.” Jhett didn’t stay true to his promise. His fingers found their way back into my hair, tracing the waves that fell against my face. I didn’t mind. I could feel the tenderness in his touch, and I needed to feel something other than sadness.
“Can I meet her?” I asked.
“I think she’d like that,” he replied, slowly nodding his approval, and flashed another gen
uine smile down at me.
I turned again, Jhett’s fingers still flowing through my hair. I felt a jolt of hope run through my veins. “Good. I don’t want to have to live with regrets like that. I want to start living for me, the way I should have been doing all along. No more trying to please everyone.” I yawned, the sorrow slowly starting to creep out of my heart. I was nowhere close to healing the hole where Cameron would always remain, but I could tell the stitches were starting to knit it together. I was comfortable here, and even though I didn’t know too much about what `here` was, I wanted to see what it held for me.
When Charlie rested her head in my lap, I couldn’t help myself. I needed to touch her. It was torture to be so close to her, breathing in her sweet scent, a mixture of cotton candy and strawberries. It had been a while since I actually had to think about my actions around a woman. I promised her that I would keep my hands to myself, but she made it impossible. I settled with running my fingers over her smooth skin, right where her hair fell, and running down the strands that flowed over her shoulders and down her back.
I couldn’t get a grip on myself when she was around. It was like she made me turn into two completely different people. I put my walls up when I was with her – I had to. She was Cameron’s sister and she was off limits. I just wanted to make sure was okay when she ran out of The Pointe, but somehow, I managed to jack that one up, too. All because I couldn’t stay away from her.
Every smile, every tear, every laugh drew me in. Cameron talked about her countless times; I knew everything about her, including stories from their past, about how everyone fell in love with her the moment they met her. How she could light up a room just by being in it, and could cut you down to ribbons when she was angry. She wore her emotions on her sleeve. I didn’t believe it until I met her. She was everything that was good in life, and I couldn’t compete with that. I told her what she wanted to know, but I couldn’t tell her everything about what happened the night of Cameron’s accident. One day, maybe, but not tonight. Not after seeing her like that and just started to open up to me.
We stayed like that for a while, watching the movie together and not speaking. When she mentioned that she was going to start living her life for herself, I needed to tell her how badly I wanted that for her, too. It was an odd feeling to care so much for a person you just met. I couldn’t figure out if it was the regret I felt about Cameron, the responsibility I felt for his accident, or the fact that she was the only girl who seemed worth my time since I moved to San Diego. She was stubborn and untrusting as hell, a welcomed change of pace from the girls who basically threw themselves at me, although I never complained before.
The credits appeared on the screen in front of us. Untangling my hand from her hair, I whispered for her to wake up. “Charlie, the movie’s over.” My hands ran over her shoulder when she didn’t reply. Instead, the soft sound of her steady breathing answered. She fell asleep.
Great, I thought to myself. I assumed that the time difference had finally caught up to her, but I also knew from experience with Gracie that so much crying could drain a girl. I lifted the pillow from my lap gently and shimmied out from underneath her resting body. Grabbing a blanket out from the closet, I laid it out and draped it over her curled-up form.
“Goodnight, Charlie.” I leaned over to push the hair that framed in her face away when that sweet smell hit me again, causing my gut to clench. Without a second thought I kissed her forehead, startling myself with my own boldness. Attempting to stay a gentleman, I planted myself in the recliner across from her on the couch. My eyes closed and I said a silent prayer that when morning came, she wouldn’t freak out too bad. I just didn’t have the heart to wake her up, or even make her leave, for that matter.
Sunlight danced over my eyelids. The no-curtain-thing was killing me. Groaning, I rolled over to shield my eyes, but for some reason I couldn’t get away from the light that seemed to flood the room, and opening them just caused more confusion. I blinked a few times in an effort to clear the fog from my head. It looked like I was still at…Jhett’s house? Another groan escaped my throat, frustration building up in my body as I remembered my freak out last night. The only thing I didn’t remember was falling asleep.
Sitting up, I looked around the brightly lit room. Jhett was stretched out on the recliner with his hands behind his head; snoring so loud that I’m surprised it didn’t wake me up sooner. Panic crept up my spine. I had to get out of there.
I moved from the couch, trying to make as little noise as possible, my eyes fixed on Jhett for the smallest signs of movement, when a buzzing noise from the kitchen caught my attention. My phone was vibrating itself across the countertop. Ditching all attempts at stealth mode, I snatched my phone and rocketed through the back door into Jhett’s backyard.
“Mom?” I asked into the phone.
“Why do you sound so tired, Charlotte? It’s nine in the morning over there. You should be up and getting ready.” My mom’s perky demeanor had no end. I was about to ask her what was so important, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Today was the day I was supposed to leave to go back home, and I still hadn’t told her I was going to stay. I hadn’t even thought about what my excuse was going to be. She ignored my silence and continued to talk. “Well, just remember that the reservation for the car is under our name and-“ I cut her off.
“Mom, I’m going to be staying out here until school starts.” There it was again - the word vomit that came out as I told her my decision to stay for the whole summer. I wasn’t able to hold it back anymore, and it just kept coming without a thought of the severity of the repercussions. “And before you even start to try and tell me otherwise, I’m going to save you the trouble and tell you that I won’t need the lecture. I’m staying and I’m going to actually enjoy myself.” The lump in my throat disappeared as I caught my breath and swallowed. I knew I couldn’t just talk forever; eventually I would be forced to hear what she had to say.
“Charlotte, call this my motherly instincts, but I was afraid this would happen. So I already took care of any loop holes that you may think you had.” Her voice was smooth, calm and collected, like we were talking about what to eat for dinner. But I knew that on the inside, my mother was screaming at me.
Without warning, a different person emerged from my body, taking over my mind and letting the words roll off my tongue. “I know that you’re upset with me, and I know you’re hurting like I am from losing Cameron. But mom, if you really loved both of us like you say you do, please let me do this. Let me do what I have to do.” Whoever this new person in me was, she stood up to my mom, which was something that I never had the guts to do before.
“Oh, sweet girl. You think you’re a grown up? What are you going to do next week when you can no longer hide away in Cameron’s apartment? I have eyes and ears everywhere, Charlotte, and you cannot stay there any longer. There’s a little thing called ‘void on death clauses’, so no matter what you think you understand, child, you don’t. The apartment will be rented out as soon as possible to its new tenant. Now, I expect you to be in a car and on your way home in no less than two hours. Do I make myself clear?” She placed her bets and expected me to fold.
Basically she just told me, `You’re homeless and need to run back home to mommy`. “Mother, maybe you don’t know your daughter as well as you think you do. I have my own resources that I will be using to take care of myself. I’ll be back at the end of the summer.” There was no need to explain myself any further.
“Charlotte Caroline Jennings! You have responsibilities back here in Tennessee. There’s absolutely nothing for you in California, and I will not have you gallivanting around the beach all summer! Mine and your father’s deal is revocable. If you stay, don’t expect to have Vanderbilt waiting for you when you get back.” That was her sucker punch, my carrot on a string.
My throat tightened again, only this time, I was afraid it wasn’t just word vomit. I hoped that either someone would come and knock me out, or
the brave new girl would find her way back to me. When neither happened, I sighed. “Tell Daddy I’m sorry. I love you.” I hit end, feeling defeated.
I tried my best to keep from passing out as the reality of the situation came barreling down on me. Not only did I basically told my mom to shove it where the sun don’t shine, but I also had only a week to figure out my living situation. A knock on the kitchen window directly in front of me jolted me from my thoughts. Jhett watched with a worried expression, and then motioned for me with frantic arms to come inside. As if the last five-minute phone conversation wasn’t bad enough, now I had to face Jhett.
My feet dragged reluctantly as I walked back into the house and the smell of pancakes overwhelmed my senses. Despite the worried sick feeling that lingered in my stomach, I couldn’t fight the smile I felt on my lips, even when there were bigger things to think about than breakfast. But I did love me some pancakes.
“You’re making breakfast? What did I do to deserve this?” I asked Jhett, as I made my way to where he stood at the familiar spot in front of the stove. He was already lost in his cooking.
“Why do you sound so surprised? It’s just a box mix, nothing fancy. But from the looks of that phone call, it seemed to me like you needed something to eat. Arguments always make me hungry.” He avoided my eyes, instead keeping his focus on the fluffy circles that he flipped in front of him.
“You were watching me?” My hostility was directed at him, but only to hide the fact that I enjoyed knowing he was curious enough about me to be nosey. “So you know what happened?”
“Well, I could only catch parts, because you were breathing fire out there. But I’m smart enough to figure out that you were probably telling your mom that you weren’t coming home like she planned. I’m pretty sure I had that same look when I told my mom I was going on tour instead of graduating high school. I just wish you could have seen yourself. You looked like your head could’ve started spinning around at any moment!”
Promise Me This Page 6
