by Cecilia Lane
She was brightness, and he was relegated to the shadows.
Alex pried control away from his bear and turned away from the light. He circled her cabin, staying to the shadows. He couldn’t be the one by her side, but he could make sure the bastard that made him didn’t get near her. She didn’t deserve any further pain and suffering. He’d ambushed her with a lifetime’s worth already.
Cabin checked, he forced himself to leave his temptation behind.
He ran through the night, but there was no putting distance between himself and the past.
He neared the ranch when he felt them. Other bears and their bullshit. He didn’t want to deal with them. He growled a warning, but neither peeled away.
Hunter and Lorne flanked him. One clipped a back leg, and he swung his head around to unleash a furious roar. The second he turned, the other rammed into his side. Alex tumbled to the ground in a heap of snarls and limbs.
He gathered himself quickly and squared off against the others. Two on one. They needed the numbers. He fought like a cornered animal on a good day. That moment, he wanted to murder the entire world.
He roared again, letting loose all the frustration and fury that’d built up since he last unleashed on them. He wanted Liv. He wanted her safe. He wanted to be rid of his monster. He wanted a normal, happy life.
Nothing went his way.
They charged him at the same time. He braced himself against the blows and lashed out with wicked claws. The ground rumbled under their feet from the force of the slapping, slamming battle.
Blood scented the air and whipped his bear into even more of a fury. Bite. Roar. Claw.
Kill.
Death rode on his shoulder. He should have long succumbed. Instead, it ate at his heart and made him want to spread it everywhere.
Hunter slowed and stumbled. Alex tore into the weakened beast, biting and slashing. More blood spilled and slicked the ground under their paws.
“Are you done now?”
Alex whirled around. He snarled when he spotted Ethan. His alpha regarded him coolly and silently, but didn’t move a muscle. He knew the danger he jabbed and taunted.
“Shift, Alex. That’s a request. Next one will be an order.”
He snarled. His bear snarled. Ethan could lick his furry balls.
His alpha’s eyes glowed like shards of silver. “Shift,” he said.
Power infused the word. It started as an itch in the deepest part of his ears, then spread through his brain and fired all the synapses in blinding unison. His bear was burned away to nothing, and the charred remains puffed away on a breath of air.
His shift ripped through him at the order. Fur melted back to flesh, bones snapped and reshaped. His muscles, already tired and sore from the constant need to shift and fight, shook under his skin.
Alex gritted his teeth and pushed himself to his knees. Fuck dying in the dirt. If Ethan was going to put him down, he’d be upright.
“Why the fuck did you put me on the trail with her?” he snarled.
“Because she’s important,” Ethan answered simply.
“You’ve been more of an asshole since she showed up,” Lorne muttered.
Hunter threw him a lopsided grin. “Congrats, man.”
Alex flicked them all off. “She’s not what you think.”
Mate.
His bear joined in with the insistence. Sendings shoved at him until he couldn’t ignore them any longer. Liv, happy and smiling, just like he remembered. The only difference was the savage scar marring her creamy skin.
Ethan still looked on stoically. “You’ve been fighting it for years, haven’t you?”
Alex didn’t say a word. It was all he could do to keep himself still against the clenching pain in his middle.
“Stop fighting for once. Give in.”
He cocked his head and bared his teeth. “Because you’re such an expert on accepting what’s given to you.” He rolled his eyes to the others. “All of you. You dug in your heels and fought every step of the way.”
Alex shoved to his feet. His heart ripped to shreds. Important. Yeah. Liv had always been important.
Important enough to keep safe, no matter his personal cost. Didn’t they understand? He was a master at setting his world on fire to keep her warm.
“You’re different now. You know what you are.” Lorne said quietly. “If she’s your mate, you won’t hurt her.”
“Truth speaker,” Hunter agreed.
Alex shook his head. “Already have. There’s too much there to forget.”
“So don’t forget,” Ethan rumbled. “Grow.”
Alex turned his face to the stars, just as Liv had done. Stop fighting. Grow. Bullshit advice he couldn’t act on. He wasn’t the only obstacle to overcome. Even in a perfect world where he didn’t have some rogue bastard stalking him, he’d done enough damage.
But… she’d approached him. Instead of surprising him with her existence, she let him know she was in town. Instead of giving up when he was a dick to her all over again, she tried to buy his goodwill with drinks and more convincing.
He wanted to believe his story wasn’t at an end. He wanted to ink more chapters with Liv in the starring role.
He also wanted a normal fucking life without someone sending him deathday cards every damn year.
Alex took a stumbling step into the darkness while his bear roared. “No.”
Chapter 11
Liv sifted a hand through her hair and leaned on her elbow. She looked between the findings on the computer screen and the notations she’d jotted down. Something teased her in the results. She just didn’t know what she was looking for.
She was glad for the work. The puzzle of genetics and the added challenge of altering a sequence without harming anything else was a fine distraction from the other trouble on her mind. One man in particular whipped through her head at any sign of weakness. She did not want to think about Alex. She’d allowed him to live in her head rent free for far too long.
Liv rolled her eyes at herself and redoubled her focus on her work.
A shoe scuffed somewhere behind her. She glanced at the clock. Too soon for anyone else to find their way back from lunch.
Liv spun in her chair and peered through the glass partition on the lab door. “Someone there?”
Silence answered her.
She’d seen enough horror movies to know going right back to work asked to get axed from behind. Liv pushed to her feet and slowly stepped toward the door marking the separation from desks and lab space. She couldn’t see anyone when she leaned against the wall. Even craning her neck, she didn’t spot anyone.
No other sound, either.
She reached for the keycard in her jacket pocket. The reader beeped in recognition and she pushed inside the deserted lab.
No one stirred. The work stations were blank with screens of sleep.
She felt movement behind her just as a large shadow covered her. Liv whirled, heart pounding as paranoia turned to fright in a squeal.
Alex chuckled and set smoldering eyes on her. “Easy, it’s just me.”
Liv bristled, heart still thudding in her chest. She didn’t know if she was more annoyed at the sight of him or that he’d spooked her. “What are you doing here?” she gritted out.
Alex raised his hands. “I just—”
“How did you even get in here? This is supposed to be a secure facility.”
One half of his mouth hitched up in an infuriating smirk. “Through a door, just like everyone else.”
She could have clawed out his eyes. Instead, she reached for the nearest phone and started punching in the number for security.
“Liv, Liv,” he laughed. He fished into his back pocket and flashed a card between them. “Relax. I have a pass.”
“You should have returned it downstairs. You’re done here, remember?”
He blinked slowly. “I may have been a little hasty.”
“Well, I’m hastily deciding to end this conversation. Dr
op off your pass on your way out. I have more important things to do than fight with you.” Liv swiped her card again and yanked open the door.
Alex slammed a firm hand against the door and slipped between her and her exit. “I’ll let you take my sample. I’ll even withdraw my complaint against you.”
“You made a formal complaint?” Asshole! Her hair rustled with the force of her shake. “You know what, that doesn’t matter. You’re done. I can’t take your sample. It wouldn’t be right since we know each other and you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” he said immediately and almost too quiet for her to hear.
Almost.
Her heart pounded again, but fright wasn’t the cause.
Liv took a step back. She folded her arms over her chest and stared at him for a long moment. “You’re welcome to stay in the program. I’ll even arrange for someone else to collect a sample. They’re all at lunch right now, so it might be a bit.”
“No can do. Now or never. I’m on a tight schedule today. Errands to run and doctors to piss off.” He copied her crossed arms, but the lean against the door made him look cool and relaxed instead of annoyed. “Besides, it’s no different than donating blood for the doctor down at the clinic. Small town. Everyone knows everyone.”
Liv looked over her shoulder and willed someone else to walk through the doors. They remained irritatingly closed.
“Fine,” she agreed. “But only if you agree to get back on schedule for these visits. And someone else handles you.”
His eyes danced with mischief. “Oh, Liv. You of all people should know no one can handle me.”
Infuriating man. Jackass. Utter goblin.
Liv favored him with a tiny nod of acceptance before stalking across the lab to wash her hands, snap on a pair of gloves, and open a kit for sample collection. Done, she pointed to a chair. “Sit.”
“Two stars. Your bedside manner could do with a little improvement.”
Liv glared at him until he pushed off the door and sauntered toward her. Sauntered.
Pustule. She hoped he had a year of infected toenails and blistered heels.
“About to be five stars, commendations for heroic efforts but alas, deceased patient if you don’t sit down.”
“Mouthy.”
At least he took a seat. After passing much too close and flashing her a cocky grin.
Liv grabbed herself by the back of the neck and forced her focus back on her work. He was nothing to her. No one. Just another patient she wanted to drain into a dry husk and be rid of forever.
She ripped open one of the wipes in the collection kit. He held out his arm, green eyes hidden by lowered lids. Even though she couldn’t see them, she felt him watching her. That awareness shivered down her spine.
She swabbed at his skin. So close, she could smell him even over the chemicals. Pure male, like the outdoors and some intoxicating combination of soap and shaving cream. She almost leaned closer and inhaled him like a creep.
No, Liv. He’s the shifter.
His eyes followed the path of her fingers before he abruptly turned away. “I’ve been told to extend you an invitation to the movie night. Sloan made me promise to stop in while I’m on the supply run.”
“Ah, so that’s why you’re here. Not of your own free will.”
He moved suddenly and nabbed her wrist before she could turn away. Green eyes snagged her own, brightening as his fingers stroked over her skin. “I was a dick to you,” he said gruffly. “You didn’t deserve all that.”
Holy hell, the touch felt good. Heat whipped through her. She doused it with cold reality. He’d hurt her. He had someone else in his life. She’d already tripped down the path of having that other relationship thrown in her face.
She tugged away from him and dropped her gaze. “Did you apologize to Daisy for kissing me?”
His infuriating smirk returned again. “She doesn’t need any apologies.”
“Open relationship? How progressive of you.”
“I don’t share,” he growled. His eyes flared brightly once more. He reached into his pocket again and pulled out his phone, tapped the screen, then turned it around for her. “This is Daisy.”
Liv stared at him blankly until he dipped his eyes to the screen. With a heavy sigh, she glanced down. “You’re kidding me.”
A tiny calf shoved her nose toward the camera. The rest of the photo was filled with a black face and one half of an ear.
“You raise cows?”
“Rancher, remember? Cows and horses are my bread and butter.” He swiped the photo and showed another of the same calf rolling around with all her legs in the air. “You saw her before. When you made your surprise visit.”
Liv’s cheeks warmed. The visit hadn’t been the only surprise. They’d been just as close when he turned the confrontation into a kiss that burned her to a crisp.
“Didn’t you also threaten to turn her into a steak?”
“She knows what she did.” A sappy smile appeared on his face as he swiped through more photos. Daisy’s set switched to a different calf, nearly fully grown and all black except for the tongue licking at its nose. “I take care of the ones that have trouble. Problems with their health, or if they get rejected. It’s hard to let those ones go, so Ethan lets me sell them off for someone else to start their herd or to use for like, 4-H projects or something.”
He looked like a proud father showing off his kids.
Her ears rang, and she busied herself with checking over the rest of the collection kit. She knew what was inside. She’d verified the contents after the first snap of her gloves. She just didn’t want to face the hurt that sank her stomach.
So many potentials and possibilities had been imagined while they stretched out in bed together. Kids were one of them.
Liv broke open the swab pack. Cheeks first. Then hair. Blood came last.
After that, she could feel weird without him around. A good ten minutes hiding from the world in a bathroom stall felt about right.
“Open wide,” she murmured.
Alex smirked again, but did as he was told without remark.
Liv was glad by the time she peeled off her gloves. Being surrounded in a cloud of Alex’s smell brought back too many memories. Making it through all the little touches necessary to perform her job without running in the other direction felt like the hardest thing she’d ever done.
Freedom was in sight. One pesky ex-slash-volunteer to get rid of.
“Do you not like it here?”
“What?” She blinked at the sudden question.
“The others went to lunch, you said. You didn’t. Do you hate them?”
When she turned back toward him, he was close. Far too close. If she closed her eyes, she imagined she could feel the heat blasting off his chest. Just a few inches and she could close the distance.
She backed away toward the door between the lab and office.
“No. I just had some work I wanted to do. Which is still waiting on me.” She nodded to the hallway door. “You know the way out.”
Alex followed her. “Let me feed you.”
“You want to take me to lunch?” She rounded on him, utterly dumbfounded. Frustration and shock mingled together into a messy, rotten sludge. The sheer audacity of asking her out after breaking her heart. “What makes you think that’s a good idea?”
“Nothing, that’s why it sounds good.” Cocky smirk back on his face, he took another handful of steps after her.
Liv huffed a laugh. Wild Alex. Always a surprise with him.
“Thanks for the offer, but I really need to get back to work.” She swiped her key in the reader and yanked open the door. A hand shot over her head and held it open.
She twisted around to face him again. “Wrong door.”
“I can’t leave until I know you’re going to the stupid movie night. The mates will skin me otherwise.”
Liv shrugged. “Might not be a bad look.”
She ignored him stepping after h
er. She took a seat and tucked herself into her desk, still ignoring his presence behind her. He had to give up eventually, right?
Mail had been delivered while she’d attended to him in the lab. Liv reached for the thin stack in her inbox when Alex’s hand shot out and snatched the top letter out of her fingers.
She spun around in the chair to catch him stuffing the envelope under his nose. A growl ripped out of him, hard and ferocious, and stilled her movement. Shifter. He wasn’t just the wild man she remembered. He was more than that, now.
Alex inhaled loud enough for her to hear. “Who sent this?” he demanded.
“I don’t know, you have it in your hands.”
“Have you gotten others?”
“Again, in your hands.” She reached for it then and he growled when she tried to take it away. “Alex, take it down a notch.”
His eyes flashed dangerously, but he killed the rumble in his chest and pulled the envelope away from his nose. His lip lifted in a silent snarl and he ripped it to pieces in his haste to get at the letter.
She couldn’t spot a return address between his fingers and sighed.
“What?” he asked in a too-loud voice. “What do you know?”
“It’s mail, Alex. We all get them. They get scanned and checked for threats before being passed along to the recipients. If it’s not business, it’s probably something from a protestor inviting us to a church service to hear about how we’re damning our souls working here.”
“This is nothing like that.” His eyes brightened until they glowed. “You’re coming back to the ranch with me. Get your things.”
“That’s not happening.”
“Liv, now.”
She pressed a hand to his chest. Holy hot damn, he was on fire. Not literally, but touching him felt like his temperature was through the roof. The heat spread through her, just like it’d done when he caught her from stumbling on the trail ride and earlier, when she took his samples.
She shook her head to clear the haze. “One, I’m working, Alex. Two, there’s no way I’m going anywhere with you.”
“You’re in danger.”
The macho Neanderthal attitude sparked a war inside her.
