After another weighted hesitation, they all cleared out, though there was more than one curious look thrown over a shoulder at me. Curious and suspicious. The big room was quiet and I stood, waiting. Would I get kicked out for attacking Ash?
“You going to tell me what that was all about?”
“No.”
“Larkspur, come with me.” Granite beckoned me with his right hand, fingertips dancing with green light that wove through his fingers like ivy a moment before the ground gave me a push toward the front doors. I followed him out of the barracks and into the forest. We walked in silence for close to three hours, taking pathways I knew by heart, and some that I’d never seen. The walk calmed me, helped me to put things into perspective. Wicker knew who I was, but did he know I remembered? I didn’t think so. My feeling was that if he knew, he would have tried to kill me on the spot. But then again, maybe not. Maybe he wouldn’t want to give himself away.
Granite took me to the far western Edge of the forest. The roar of vehicles hummed along my senses, the smell of the human’s world overwhelming. The highway stood between the forest and the coast, a divider I knew our people rarely crossed.
“Do you know why I brought you here?”
I shook my head.
“This is where I found your mother.”
My jaw dropped and I sputtered out my questions with difficulty. “Found her? When? How?”
Granite ran a hand over his jaw, his eyes going distant. “When she was about sixteen, I guess. I thought she was a human runaway, from time to time they are drawn to us, you know that. And then I thought maybe she was a half-breed.”
My heart thumped harder as I waited for Granite to confirm what I hoped he would. “She wasn’t though, was she?”
His sharp eyes saw through me. “You know what she was?”
“I . . . think so.” A child of Spirit. Though, what that meant wasn’t clear. Not that it would affect me anyway, I had no abilities.
“Then we won’t say it out loud. The forest is not always safe, Lark. You of all people should know that.”
I stepped close to him and bent so I could speak into his ear, my voice as low as I could make it. “Her death was not natural, was it?” He shook his head and a sob caught on my lips. “I was there. I thought . . . all these years—”
His hand slapped over my mouth and he shook his head, then slowly drew a finger across my throat and then across his, the meaning clear. Even though Granite didn’t know it was the queen, he had to suspect. There was no one else who had cause to kill her, or my brother. Cassava would have both Granite and me killed if she knew either of us thought her a murderer.
“It’s why I wanted to train you, the way I trained your mother. But you, you’ll go further, I think, than even she did. She was too gentle for her own good, it was her downfall. To be an Ender, you have to be able to set aside all of your attachments, you have to be able to kill without hesitation, knowing if you don’t, you will be buried twenty feet down with salt covering your sack of bones. To be an Ender, you have to embrace the dark side the mother goddess hides from the rest of the world. The balance of all that is light and good, of growth and life. We are her darkness. We are her Enders.”
A chill swept through me, the truth of his words sinking into my soul. He went on, his eyes soft with remembrance.
“Your mother, she could never be that darkness, her whole being was life and love.” His voice was gruff, and under the bluff exterior I saw something more than a stoic Ender. Almost like I could see the story laid out in pictures in front of me. He’d found a girl close to his age, a beautiful girl and taught her to fight. Became her friend, and maybe he wanted more and she didn’t see him. Because she’d caught the eye of the king.
“Did you love her?”
His back stiffened, then he relaxed and gave a barking laugh. “Don’t matter now, Lark. But you have her good senses, you see people, see through the layers they hide under. See through the bullshit and cockamamie. Just like Ulani.”
I smiled. “And you brought me all the way out here to tell me this?”
This time, he leaned forward, whispering. “When you know. You come to me, and we’ll face them down together. Whoever did this, we’ll face it together, understand?”
He stepped back and started back the way we’d come. “But not yet, Lark. Not until you are trained and ready to do what you have to.”
What I had to do. The words unspoken hung in the air between us.
To take down those who had killed my family.
A shiver of fear and anticipation ran through me. “You think I’m not gentle, like her. That I have the killer instinct to do what I must?”
His eyes met mine, never wavering. “You have it, Lark, in spades. I think Wick saw something in your eyes to make him leave so quickly.”
I jogged to his side and looked down at him, thinking about Wicker, about Cassava and all the years I’d thought I was alone.
He tipped his head so he could look at me. “You may look like your mother, but you are most definitely not her.”
A smile flitted across my lips. No, I wasn’t like my mother at all.
And for the first time in my life, I was grateful.
Chapter 9
The next month was nothing short of grueling, which was good. It kept me from being able to brood on the fact that Cassava was a murderer and I had no way to prove it unless I convinced Wicker to confess. The odds were most definitely not in my favor.
All I could do was keep my head down and do everything I could to get stronger, faster, and more deadly. I had to believe there would come a day where I could face down Cassava and Wicker, and whoever else helped her.
I worked every day with the other recruits and then when they went off on their free time to rest, I worked with Granite. Ash never told Granite what I could see when another elemental used their power. And neither did I. It was my only leg up when it came to dealing with another elemental with no power of my own. More than once, I dodged blows from rocks being thrown, or holes opening up under my feet.
My body ached all the way through to my bones and every night I lay down exhausted. So tired that if I dreamed, I didn’t remember.
Finally, we were given a day off.
“You actually going to take a break?” Mal asked as we sat around eating breakfast. I nodded, and shoved another spoonful of oatmeal into my mouth. It had taken a solid week before the other recruits relaxed around me again, but there had been a definite change in how they treated me. No more catcalls of useless or cuckoo.
I thought about what Niah had said, about going to see the recluse near the southern edge of the forest. He was tolerated since he wasn’t an elemental, but as one of the supernaturals that wanted to keep away from the humans, we allowed him to stay there.
“Going to take a long walk, I think.” I spooned the last of my breakfast into my mouth and chased it with a glass of milk.
Mal laughed. “A walk? I was thinking I’d sleep all day.”
I gave him a half-grin. “Isn’t that what you normally do? If you moved any slower on the sparring mats you might as well be sleeping.”
A chorus of ‘oohs’ erupted along the table and Mal lifted a fist, shaking it at me with mock anger. “You just wait and see, Princess, I’ll best you one day.” Around his fingers a glimmer of green gave me the heads up and I stepped to the left as a hole in the ground opened up where I’d been standing.
“Damn, how do you do that?” he muttered.
I just shrugged. “A girl’s got to have her secrets.”
I went to my room to pick out what I’d wear. The outfit we were given as Seeders was an imitation of a true Enders leathers. Snug fitting pants and a vest made out of thick, woven cotton, boots that laced up over my ankles, and then the belt for my weapons. I attached the practice spear to my side, splitting it in half with a quick twist, and hanging it from my belt, blade pointing down. I hesitated over the bow and arrows. I wasn’t as good with the
bow as I’d like to be. I grabbed it and slung it over my chest, hanging the quiver from my left side. Maybe I would get a chance to practice with it. Finally I took a large knife, the blade the length of my forearm, the handle made out of antler, and tucked it into a sheath built into the left side of my vest, just under my heart.
“Where are you going?” The voice came out of nowhere and made me jump.
I spun and glared at Ash in the doorway. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people.”
“Not sneaking up, you weren’t listening. Something that will get you hurt or killed someday.” He tipped his head. “I’ll ask again, where are you going?”
“For a walk. Why, you want to pick flowers with me?” I raised an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes.
“You aren’t picking flowers covered in weapons.”
“Why are you really here? Just to prove you can still boss me around for a bit?”
He laughed at me, and his eyes sparked with humor. I was pretty sure he was laughing at me, not with me. Ash flexed his arms as he stretched them out in front of his body. “For a bit? You have at least two years before you can even be tested for the entry level of our order. Two years, Princess, of work and deprivation. Of learning to kill, of fighting for your place here. Assuming you don’t give up before then.”
I shrugged. “They used to test Enders faster. During the wars, Enders were trained in less than a month and sent into battle.”
“That was then”—he bent to look at the small array of rocks on my nightstand—“this is now. Two years of work that will go down the river when you are kicked out for failing your final testing.”
I swept the rocks away from him. “Maybe you wanted to give up at one point, and maybe so did everyone else, but I have nothing left. There is no option. I’m either an Ender, or I’m dead.”
The words were true, but they hung between us.
My eyes met his. “Ash, what do you want?”
His eyelids lowered, hooding the honey gold until I could barely see the color. “You have a visitor.”
Now that surprised me. I brushed past Ash, and made my way up to the entrance. A dark-haired man stood there, a man I didn’t think would have anything to do with me ever again.
“Coal?”
He’d been inspecting his feet, scuffing them in the dirt and when I said his name, he snapped his head up. He looked me over, a grin spreading over his lips, his voice dropping to a familiar husky tone I knew all too well. “You look good, Lark. Really, really good.”
I blinked, wondering where the flush of excitement along my synapses was, where the hot flood of lust had gone. “Thanks. What do you want?”
Behind me, I heard a soft snicker and looked over my shoulder. Mal gave me a thumbs up before I turned back to face Coal. He offered me a hand. “I heard you had some time off, I’ve been coming every day to see if they’d let me at least talk to you. I’ve missed you.”
“Really?” I tried to keep my tone casual, but there was no help for the bitterness. “The last time I saw you, I was being dragged away and accused of murder, and you let them take me without a fight. Doesn’t seem like something someone who gave a worm’s shit about me would do.”
I brushed past him and out the door, breathing in the early morning air and letting the coolness soothe the anger burning in my gut. That wasn’t honest; it wasn’t just anger, it was betrayal.
Coal jogged to my side and moved to put a hand on my elbow, but I stepped away before he could touch me. “Go away, Coal.”
“Lark, please. I made a mistake. Contrary to what you think, I’m not perfect.”
I snorted a laugh. “And if they’d killed me? What then? What kind of mistake would you call that?”
He lowered his voice and stepped close to me. “I knew they weren’t going to kill you.”
“How? There is no way you could have known.”
His jaw twitched and he tipped his head for me to follow him. Reluctantly, my curiosity getting the better of me, I did as he wanted. He kept ahead of me, the easy stride, long muscled legs, tight butt, all very enjoyable to watch. Normally I would have been drooling by the time we’d gone ten feet. Funny enough, his lack of support had killed my libido. Go figure.
We were out by my place, at the far end of the family before he spoke, turning to catch my elbow. I pulled back from him, folding my arms. “Go ahead, let’s hear what your reasoning is.”
His lips pursed as he put his thoughts together. I’d seen the move before, when I’d asked him to leave. I’d give him this, he was an accomplished convincer. “There were rumors that you were going to be arrested. One of the other Edge Guards told me to watch my back. He said if they took you, and I tried to stop them, I would be charged with treason. You have your father looking out for you, Lark. I’ve got no one with power on my side.”
He reached again for my hand, but I kept my distance. “Why didn’t you warn me then? Why did you help me dress and go to my father without any knowledge of what could happen? At least then I could have been prepared for what might happen, as it was—”
“Because then you would have something for them to draw out of you. I didn’t know how far it would go, Lark. I was doing what I thought was best to protect you and me. If I thought I could have fought for you and kept you free, I would have, you have to know that. But we were outnumbered. The only chance was that you would be pardoned, which you were, and then we could be together again. Which we can be.”
His words sounded good, and there was a ring of truth to them. I turned my head just enough to see that his eyes were fogged with uncertainty. Not something I often saw in my cocky guy.
I blew out a breath and he saw my acquiescence. Without another word he swept me into his arms and kissed me. I kissed him back, suddenly hungry for more than just his company. The only touch I’d had for the last month had been rough punches and slaps. Nothing that I would call soothing or loving. A niggle of guilt ate at me. I hadn’t missed Coal, hadn’t thought of him even once in the last month. Yet, here I was. Maybe I just needed one last fling.
Or maybe I just needed a different kind of outlet. Whatever the case, I gave in to the lust.
It was a struggle to get out of our clothes as we tumbled to the ground, our knees hitting the dirt at the same time, hands stripping each other down to bare skin. The ferns and undergrowth cloaked us, hid our bodies. I ran my hands over his back, feeling the muscles I knew all too well, over his firm ass and down the length of his thigh and back up again. His lips caressed my face, brushed over my eyelids, my cheeks, and finally my lips.
Our hands buried in the dirt as we rocked against one another, taking solace in each other’s bodies, and for just a moment, I thought the world was going to be all right. I stroked a hand down the side of his face and he smiled at me, lips parting as his tongue darted out to taste my own.
“Marry me, Lark. Leave the Enders and let me take care of you,” he whispered in my ear as he nibbled along the edge of the sensitive rim.
His body was so very warm against mine, and he fit so well against me, inside me, filling me, making me consider for just a moment accepting his words. The ground seemed to rumble underneath us, a warning, or maybe an admonition. I sat up, and shoved him off me. “Take care of me? Are you serious?”
He rolled to his side, and grinned up at me. “Well, maybe that wasn’t the best way to put it. But marry me anyway. You don’t need to be an Ender. You’ve made your point. You’re strong in your own way, strong enough to survive the first month of training. I get it. You needed to prove yourself. Just marry me. You know you want to marry me, you always have. You could wear one of your mother’s dresses, we could have a baby.”
Some of what he was saying was true. The rest, not so much. “You’re wrong, Coal. I don’t think you ever really knew me. I want to be married, but not to someone who doesn’t really know me.”
“No?” His eyelids drooped. “Did you find someone you like better than me?”
I
burst out laughing. “It isn’t always about sex, you idiot. I like my training, and I am going to be an Ender.” I found my pants and vest, and yanked them on. My boots followed swiftly as did my weapons. I was dressed and ready to go in less than minute. “You’re just upset because if I become an Ender, I’ll outrank you.” The words crossed my lips before I thought better of them, but they were true. My eyes shot to his. His jaw flexed and twitched. Damn, that was it. He didn’t want me to be above him. He liked being the powerhouse in our relationship. “Take care of yourself, and don’t come back, Coal. We’re done,” I whispered, feeling the tie between us sever for the final time. Even if he didn’t feel it, I knew the truth of our relationship. He wanted a doormat, and even before starting down this path, I hadn’t been that. Hence the fighting.
He sat up, that damn cocky grin on his lips, his eyes sparkling. “Lark, you will always come back to me. I am the only home you know. I’m the safety net you’ll fall to when you fail at this.”
I thought about the barracks, about Granite and even Mal, Blossom, and the other Seeders. They were my home now, they were my family. They would be my safety net if I fell.
“Not anymore.”
Chapter 10
I had to run in order to make it to the southern edge of the forest before mid-day, if I was going to make it back to the barracks before midnight. Even then I knew I would only have a few minutes to talk to the recluse before having to head back.
The day was still cool, which was a mercy, the fog hanging heavy over the forest. I found my running rhythm as I went. Breathe in. Breathe out. My body moving in perfect sync with the forest, the flow of energy passing through me and marking me as a part of the circle of power. I’d never felt this kind of give and take before, not even close, and the strength hummed along my senses.
Leaping over a log, I pushed off hard and was shocked at the distance between one leap and the next. How fast could I go, connected like this to the earth? I drew in a deep breath and cranked up the speed, pushing myself to the limit, allowing the strength to flow from the ground up through me. I blinked away the tears as the wind rushed against my open eyes.
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