by Beth Rinyu
"Good Morning, Carrie!" Mary, the office manager greeted me as I walked through the door. I had met Mary when I came in for my interview. She was definitely warm and welcoming, but I could tell right away she could be a bit of a busybody with the way she started bombarding me with personal questions, trying her best to set me up with her son who was my age. I thought it was a little strange being that she just met me, but maybe her poor son was just desperate, or maybe he didn’t know his mom was trying to set him up with random girls behind his back. Anymore talk of that was put to an end once I told her I had a boyfriend.
"Gwen will be here shortly, but she’s asked me to get you set up in your office in the meantime."
"Okay, sounds great!" I smiled and followed her down the hallway to the moderate sized room containing a desk, a large leather couch and a very uncomfortable looking chair, presumably for me. The stark white walls and the drab office setting needed some sprucing up, nothing a few pictures and some throw pillows for the couch wouldn’t take care of. It seemed a shopping trip to Target with my mom was in order for the weekend.
“So, how’s that boyfriend of yours doing?”
I broke my concentration of how I was going to set up the pictures on the wall and turned my attention to Mary. She was looking at me pleadingly as her long red manicured nail rested on the side of her cheek. “Oh, he’s great!” I hoped I didn’t sound too over enthusiastic with my reply, but I needed to get her off my back.
“Oh.” She sounded disappointed and her face turned into a frown.
Seriously? Is this what I have to look forward to each day? Her chasing me around like Pepe Le Pew for her son!
"Well, welcome aboard," she said, sounding a lot less zealous than she had when I’d first walked in.
“Thanks!” I replied, happy she was getting off my case about her son.
I didn’t have any patients scheduled. I was told today would basically be an orientation type of day. The real work would begin tomorrow. The counseling center I was working at was owned by the crisis center which was part of the hospital and the majority of patients were individuals being seen on an outpatient basis. Gwen was the supervisor; she had her PHD in social work and saw a few private patients after-hours. She seemed to be okay but it was hard to tell. I had only met with her twice and both of those occasions she’d seemed to be analyzing me, making me feel like she was trying to find my deepest, darkest secrets.
I unloaded my box and before I knew it, I was rearranging furniture.
“Looks good,” Gwen said, startling me as she entered.
“Oh, thanks. Hope it’s okay that I’m rearranging things.”
“That’s perfectly okay. This is your space, do what you want with it,” she replied, giving me the onceover. Suddenly, I felt myself doing the same right back at her as I began to pick her apart in my mind. She definitely looked like she should be living in the 1960’s. Her long, stringy hair was parted in the middle with a streak of gray that ran through the front. Part of me wondered if it was natural or if she had dyed it to look that way. “Are you all ready for your patients tomorrow?”
“Yup, more than ready!” I smiled.
She smiled back. “Oh, how I love getting you young girls in here. You’re so eager to dive in. Trust me honey, in a few years you’ll be burnt-out.” Wow, that’s a real morale booster, I thought to myself.
“Well, I sure hope not,” I replied.
She waved her hand in a dismissive manner. “Oh Sugar, that comes with every job. Eventually, you’ll be counting the days till retirement.”
Sugar? Did she really just call me Sugar?
“Are you almost there?” I asked.
“Almost where?” she asked.
“Retirement?”
“From this place, yes. From my private practice, no. I think I’ll continue to see patients until the day I die. It’s in my blood.” I nodded, as she looked me over again, making me feel awkward and uncomfortable. “You’ve got a lot on your mind, don’t ya?”
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
“You’re not happy with where your life is right now, are you?” she blurted out.
“Excuse me? I’m very happy to be working here.”
“I’m not talking about your professional life. I’m talking about your personal life.”
I didn’t know how to reply. I was happy. At least I thought I was, but now she had me second-guessing that. “No, I’m very –”
“Life’s too short and you’re much too young to not go after what you really want.” I let out a nervous laugh. “You may not even know it yet, but trust me; I can tell what’s going on in someone’s head just from their demeanor and body language. And you, Sugar, are yearning for something that you want but feel like you can’t have.” I shrugged my shoulders, not having a clue as to what she was referring. Clearly, she wasn’t as good as she thought she was.
“Well, if I am, I don’t know what it could be.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile. “That’s for you to figure out, and once you do, go for it!”
I looked straight ahead and tried my best to focus as she started going over the paperwork with me. I was hoping she wasn’t able to “read me” again and tell I was only half paying attention. I was very happy with my life. I had a great family, a wonderful boyfriend and my dream job. What more could I possibly ask for? She got it wrong. Totally wrong. I wasn’t wanting for anything.
Guess they failed to tell me in my interview that dodging matchmaking moms and overanalyzing bosses should be added to my job duties.
***
Jason
Carrie's smile couldn’t have been bigger when she opened up her apartment door.
"Hey, you!" She threw her arms around me and pulled me into a hug.
"Welcome back,” I grunted from the force of her hug.
"Come in," she said, opening the door wider.
"So this is the new pad?"
"This is it! Much bigger than the one in the city, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is. Sorry I wasn't around to help you move. If I had known it was going to be that week, I would have never planned my trip."
She waved her hand in the air. "Oh, please! If I had to choose between the Bahamas and helping me move, I would have chosen the Bahamas any day! Not like I had much to move anyway. All of my furniture was delivered from the furniture store. I just sorta-kinda drove your dad nuts with helping hanging pictures and curtain rods. My mom added to the insanity as well."
"Ah... he's used to it."
"Yeah, he's a good sport."
She led me into the living room, and I took a seat, running my hand along the leather sofa. "New furniture. New car. You're making the big bucks now." I laughed.
She rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't go that far. More like my credit cards are burning up."
"So, how's the job?"
She took a seat next to me. “So far, so good. Today was my first day seeing patients. I’m kinda glad I started at the end of the week to give me the weekend to recoup and slowly ease into it.”
“That bad?”
“No, not really. It’s just mentally draining. I feel really bad for some of these people. I can’t imagine being nineteen years old and having drugs rule your life, or being a sixteen year old with an eating disorder. It’s just so sad.” She sighed deeply. “I guess I just need to learn to turn my feelings off, but I know that’s going to be hard.”
I couldn’t imagine Carrie ever turning her feelings off for anyone. It just wasn’t who she was; she was the most caring person I knew and would do anything to help anyone. “Well, I’m sure you’ll do great just the way you are. Don’t turn your feelings off, Carrie. That’s not you.”
“Don’t worry, Jas, I would never turn my feelings off for you.” She playfully punched me in the arm and sucked in her bottom lip.
I cleared my throat and ran my hand through my hair. “So, how’s Brett? I haven’t heard from him in a while.”
The smile that was on
her face slowly faded. “Oh, he’s good. He’s just been busy with his new job.” She raised her eyebrow and forced another smile.
“So far everything’s working out between you guys with this long-distance thing?”
She nodded. “Yeah, it’s great. So, did you want to get food along with drinks? I’m starving.” I could tell she wasn’t interested in having her relationship with Brett as the topic of conversation tonight, which was fine by me.
“Sounds good to me!” I said, standing up and leading the way out the door.
Over dinner, we caught up on everything we’d missed out on over the past few weeks. I couldn’t stop laughing when she told me how I’d saved the day for her yesterday by inadvertently getting her out of a ticket.
“I’m happy I could help,” I smiled at her as I took a sip of my beer. The way the light was hitting her eyes made them look even bluer than usual. “Hey, you cut your hair.”
“Really, Jason? You’re just noticing this now?” She giggled. It wasn’t much shorter than she normally wore it but I could tell it was definitely different.
“Sorry, you know I’m not very observant with those things. I am a guy after all.”
“That’s okay.”
“Well, I really like it.” Carrie was a beauty and she didn’t flaunt it like most girls with her looks would. In fact, I think she may have been clueless as to just how gorgeous she really was.
“Thanks! Me too!” She smiled and fluffed up her hair. “So, enough talk about me. How’s your job going?”
“Busy, but it’s all good. Working a ton of overtime and in addition to that I somehow got roped into volunteering for this Youth Outreach Program run by the PBA.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh my god that is so awesome! What do you do?”
“Well, it’s mainly troubled kids, most of them teenagers. So many of them have a pretty shitty home life and have already experimented with drugs and been arrested. It’s trying to get them back on the right path.”
“That sounds like such a great program. Even if you make a difference in the life of just one of those kids, it’s a huge accomplishment.”
I nodded. “There’s this one kid, Teigan, probably the worst one out of the bunch. He’s seventeen, already been busted a bunch of times for pot, underage drinking, shoplifting and I’m sure a shitload of other things no one knows about. His mom left him when he was three years old and he hasn’t seen her since.”
“Oh my god, that’s horrible. So who does he live with?”
“His dad. He’s a good guy, but he and Teigan butt heads. He’s working two jobs just to afford their rent so he’s not around much to supervise. I don’t know why, but I feel connected with this kid. Like I need to help him.”
“Well, that’s a good thing, Jas.” She flashed me a warm smile. I loved that I could talk to her about this and she actually listened. Unlike Ashley, who would roll her eyes and act like it was a complete waste of her and my time. “If I can be of any help, let me know.”
“Thanks. I will.”
She stood up and sat down on my side of the booth. “What are you doing?”
“Facebook selfie so Gia can see all the fun she’s missing out on.” She pressed her head against mine and held her phone out in front of us. “Smile!” she said before snapping the camera quite a few times.
“Okay, now that I’m blind from the flash,” I said, blinking away the spots from my eyes as she returned back to her side of the table. She played around on her phone for a few seconds before placing it back down on the table, just as my phone chimed with a notification that she had tagged me in a Facebook picture.
“Jeez, you don’t waste any time, do you?” She smiled, exposing the cute little dimple in her right cheek.
I tapped on the picture and couldn’t hold back my smile when I read the caption:
Good times with my buddy…..only thing missing is you, Gia!
My phone immediately began to blow up with notifications. “This is why I hate being tagged in anything on here.”
Gia: Aww, love you guys! Have a drink for me!
Melanie: Hey! How come Ben and I weren’t invited?!
Jodi: Two cutie pies!
Brett: Hey, are you trying to steal my girl lol? Miss you, bro. Call you later, Carrie.
I decided to reply to Brett’s message:
Me: Yup, you better get your ass back soon - I’m working my magic on her…lol.
Brett: Keep dreaming, buddy!
Carrie followed along with the back and forth messaging with a shake of her head.
“Hey, you started it by posting the picture,” I said, placing my phone on the table.
We both looked down at our phones once again when they chimed in unison.
“Oh, Ashley just commented on the picture.” Carrie said as she picked up her phone, totally attentive to what was on the screen. Ashley was not one of Carrie’s favorite people. She’d never come right out and said it, but I could sense it.
I looked at the comment Ashley had just left; clearly she was a little pissed by Carrie posting the picture of the two of us:
Ashley: Miss you babe, wish you were here with me instead, but we’ll make up for lost time over the weekend.
“I’m sorry did I interfere with your plans tonight?” Carrie asked, sounding a little disheartened after reading Ashley’s comment.
“What?! No, not at all! There is no one I would rather be with tonight, than you.”
She let out a sigh and forced a smile.
“Good, because there’s no one else I’d rather be with tonight either.” She took a bite of her fry and even though she had a smile on her face, her eyes were telling a different story.
After dinner, we headed over to the bar area. I looked down at my beeping phone, hesitating whether I should even respond when I saw the text message from Ashley:
Hey, babe! Are you still out? Would love to meet you and Carrie, wherever you are xo
Carrie must have immediately sensed the uneasiness on my face. “Everything okay?” she asked.
“Oh yeah, just Ashley. She wants to meet us here.”
“Oh, well ummm….Actually, I’m kind of tired anyway. I was gonna suggest finishing up and leaving, so –”
“Carrie, it’s okay. I can just tell her I’ll see her later. I understand if you don’t want to hang out with her.”
She let out a nervous laugh. “What? It – it’s not that I don’t want to hang out with her……it’s just –”
“Carrie. You’re talking to me. I know you pretty well - I think, and I know when you don’t really care for someone.”
She let out a deep sigh. She shook her head, still refusing to admit how she was really feeling. “No. Seriously, it has been a very long day, and my bed is calling my name.”
I nodded and set my gaze upon her, hoping she’d change her mind. I wasn’t ready for the night to end. When she took one more sip of her drink and stood up I knew she wasn’t going to relent.
“Ready?” she forced a smile.
“Ready if you are.” She nodded and we were on our way out the door. I paused for a moment once we reached my car. “Carrie, you know you can be honest with me and tell me anything, right?”
“What, Jas? Yes, of course I do!” She let out that nervous laugh once again.
I nodded. “Okay, I just don’t want things to change between us now that I’m seeing Ashley again,” I responded, remembering the last time Ashley and I were together and the rift that it had put between Carrie and me. Even though she would never admit it, things were definitely different between the two of us during that time.
“And things won’t. I promise. I’m – I’m happy if you’re happy.” She raised her eyebrow and gave me another forced smile as she waited for me to unlock the car door. Her face was saying something totally different than her words, and I knew things were definitely going to shift once again.
Chapter 3
Carrie
My mother and I were waiting for
my Aunt Jodi to join us for lunch after a morning-long shopping excursion.
“So, Jason told me that he and Ben were leaving really early for the baseball game this morning,” I said.
“Yeah, I was just getting up when he was leaving.”
“It was so nice to hang out with Jason last night. I missed him.”
“I’m so happy you’re back. Now we just have to work on getting Gia here.”
I shook my head and giggled. “That will never happen. She loves the city too much.”
“So, what did you guys do last night?”
“Oh, we just went to Murray’s for dinner and a few drinks.” I looked down at the table and fidgeted with the wrapper of my straw before looking back up at my mom. “Did you know he was seeing Ashley again?”
“Yeah, only by accident though. He never said anything to Ben. She stopped over one day when they were working on the house and he finally came out and told Ben.”
“She is so wrong for him.” I huffed.
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, obviously they broke up for a reason the first time. I personally think she’s a phony who would think nothing of breaking his heart. I mean, the way she would hang all over Brett when we were all together.” I shook my head. “I don’t know, there’s just something about her I just do not like.”
“Is that something Jason?” my mother asked.
“What are you talking about?”
“Maybe it’s not her you don’t like but the fact that she’s with Jason.”
I let out a nervous laugh. Sure, that was part of it, but I really didn’t like the girl either. “No! Jason is a great guy who deserves nothing but the best, and I just want him to be happy….with the right girl.”
She nodded, still looking like she doubted my answer. “So, how’s everything going with Brett?”
“Good. I was able to facetime with him last night when I got home from Jason’s. He’s just really busy with this new promotion, but he said he’s got some meetings scheduled in a few weeks in New York, so I’ll get to see him soon.”
She raised her eyebrow at me. “Well, that’s good, but I gotta be honest with you, Carrie, it’s gonna be tough trying to maintain this long distance relationship with no end in sight.”
