by Beth Rinyu
“Hey Brett, what’s goin’ on?” I answered, trying my hardest to pull it together.
Carrie flashed me a quick smile before looking straight ahead. I could read her like a book, and I knew she was feeling guilty over what had almost happened.
“Just wanted to wish my best friend a happy birthday.”
Man, I felt like such a dick for just trying to kiss his girl.
“Thanks, man.”
“So does Ashley have anything special planned for you?”
I let out a chuckle. “Uh, no, actually she got called back into work.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, well I had a good night hanging with Carrie and Gia.”
“Is Carrie there with you now?”
“Yeah, want to talk to her?”
“Yeah, for a second, if I can.”
I handed Carrie the phone. She still looked a little dazed. “Hey you,” she answered, trying her best to sound upbeat, forcing a big smile and blinking away the tears that were just starting to form in her eyes.
I looked down at the picture of her and I in the frame. That night was just a memory now. Just like this night would be. She didn’t belong with me. She belonged with the man on the other end of that phone.
Chapter 13
Carrie
"So, wait tell me again, exactly why didn’t you lay that bitch out right on the floor of the ladies room?" Gia asked as I placed a plate of pancakes in front of her.
"She's not worth it, Gia. Besides, I didn't want to ruin Jason's birthday."
"Well, did you at least tell him what she said?" I shook my head and took a sip of my coffee. Gia's eyes widened. "Why not? He needs to know what a bitch she is!"
Something told me that deep down inside, he already knew. "It's fine, Gia. There's no need to get Jason in the middle of this."
"Well, he kinda is already. I mean, are you not supposed to have any type of relationship with him because of her insecurities? That is so ridiculous. Does she actually think you would go after Jason? I mean, you guys are practically related!" Gia laughed.
"Did you want some more syrup or butter?" I asked, trying to get off topic.
"No, and why are you changing the subject?" I got up and went to the fridge, unable to face her at the moment. "Carrie?"
"What?" I turned and finally looked in her eyes, hoping she wouldn't see what I was trying to hide but I knew it was too late. Sometimes I really hated being a twin!
"That is a ridiculous thought.....right?"
"Gia, I - I.....almost kissed Jason last night."
She choked on the sip of orange juice she had just taken. "Jeez Carrie, are you trying to kill me or something? You should have warned me not to take a sip of that, knowing you were gonna drop that little bomb on me! What happened?"
"Nothing! It was the wine and talking about old times. It just stirred up old memories."
"Well, who stopped it?" she asked, lifting her glass up to her lips once again.
"Brett."
She gulped down the sip she had just taken. "What did I tell you about warning me first?"
"Well you should have waited to drink that until after this whole conversation was over."
"How the hell did Brett stop it?"
"He called to wish Jason a happy birthday just as our lips were about to touch." My stomach danced just thinking about it. "I feel like a horrible person for letting it get that far. I have this awesome boyfriend, and I almost kissed his best friend!"
"Carrie, if you're feeling something for Jason, then you should really -"
"I'm not, Gia! Really, I’m not. I'm in love with Brett. I'm telling you, it was a combination of alcohol and the memories." Maybe if I kept telling myself that, I’ll eventually believe it, too. I wasn't sure if she was falling for it, but it seemed to appease her for the moment and that's all I could ask for. "And don't go running your mouth to Mom about this either." I warned.
"Your secret’s safe with me, but I just think if you -"
I put my hand up to stop her from talking. "Shush and finish your breakfast. We have to get ready to go to Dad's barbeque."
"Fine!" She pouted, taking another bite of her pancake.
We made it to my dad's after taking a two hour detour through the mall where Gia and I did some serious damage clothes and shoe shopping.
"Carrie and Gia are here!" Luke, our seven year old little brother shouted as we entered the backyard. He was such a cutie. His eyes always lit up whenever he saw us. I hated when people referred to him as our half-brother; even though we had different mothers, I still considered him my full brother.
"Hey Lukie!" I bent down and gave him a hug and Gia followed suit.
"We got you something on our shopping trip." I pulled out one of the action figures he always played with from my purse. "Do you have this one yet?"
"No! This is the newest one! This is so cool! Mom! Look what Carrie and Gia got for me!" he screamed.
"Oh my goodness! That's the one you were looking all over for?" Amber said, taking it from his hands.
He nodded. "I'm just gonna go in the house to put this with my other guys," Luke said as he scurried off.
I couldn't stop smiling over his reaction. "Hey, girls!" Amber said, throwing her arms around us. Amber was only eight years older than Gia and I and she was the reason for my parent's divorce or at least a good part of the reason. Although I didn't condone that type of thing, especially seeing how much it hurt my mother, I tried to move on and let what happened in the past die. My mom was happier than ever with Ben, which made it a little easier to forgive and forget. "Your dad was wondering where you guys were."
"We made a little stop at the mall!" Gia giggled.
“There are my two beauties.” My father said, stopping his conversation with a man I’d never seen before to give us each a hug and a kiss.
“Wow, am I going crazy or do these two look exactly alike?” The man my father had been talking to asked. I smiled as I got a much closer look at him. Gorgeous. God-like. Calvin Klein model and then some, were a few words that came to mind. He looked older than me but a little younger than my dad. If I had to guess, I’d say late thirties. Standing well over six feet, he was dressed in khaki shorts and a long-sleeved linen button-up. His wavy, dirty-blonde hair was perfectly tousled and his lips were perfectly pouty. When he lifted his sunglasses to the top of his head and revealed his eyes, they were a very familiar shade of hazel, almost the same color as Jason’s. I looked over at Gia who looked like she was in dire need of a fan with her jaw hanging low over this perfect specimen of a man.
“Oh, Jasper, these are my daughters,” my dad introduced. I was able to pull it together to shake his hand, while Gia remained zoned out.
“Hi, I’m Carrie.”
“Ah, Carrie. Your dad has told me all about you.” That accent. Oh my god that accent! As if he weren’t delicious enough. Men like him didn’t exist in real life. They were only in romance novels and magazine ads for cologne.
“Australia?” I asked.
“Ha, couldn’t fool ya. I’ve been here since I was sixteen years old, but can’t seem to lose it.”
“Well, why would you want to? I find that very se –” Oh my god, don’t say it! Don’t say sexy! “Very…. sophisticated.” I recovered nicely. Phew.
“So you must be Gia?” I had never seen Gia speechless before, especially over a guy. He tilted his head and smiled when Gia didn’t respond.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Yes, I’m Gia.”
“Ah…she does speak. Well, I’m Jasper Campbell; it’s a pleasure to meet you, Gia.”
“And you, as well,” she responded, very meekly.
“So, from what I heard from your dad, you’re a dancer?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Well, you’ll have to let me know the next Broadway hit you’re in. I live in the city and go to shows all the time.”
“Oh, well, I’m afraid you’ll be waiting a very long time for that. Off-Broadway, maybe.”<
br />
“Well, never say never.”
She shrugged her shoulders, seeming a little more relaxed.
“Daddy!” A little boy who looked to be about five with messy blonde hair came running over to him as he effortlessly lifted him up on his shoulders. Gia’s expression was priceless. It was as if any hope of landing this dreamboat was gone once she laid eyes on his kid.
“Damn!” she mouthed to me. It was just as well. He seemed much too old for her anyway.
“Jack say hello to Gia and Carrie.”
“Hello.” He grinned.
“Dad, I’m down to my last bit of battery on my phone,” a young girl who looked to be in her preteen hormonal years said.
“And, this is Ava.” She looked at Gia and me like we had two heads.
“Hi Ava,” I said, breaking up the awkwardness.
“Oh, hey,” she replied, halfheartedly. “Daddy, can I please have the keys to the car so I can charge this a little? Jessica’s supposed to be calling me any minute.”
“Just for a few minutes, Ava,” he said tossing her the keys. “Sorry for my daughter’s lack of manners, she’s twelve going on thirty.”
I waved my hand in a dismissive manner. “We were that young once and my sister was quite the drama queen at that age.”
“I was not!” Gia, playfully smacked me.
“I think I have to agree with your sister there, Gia.” My dad chimed in.
“Nothing wrong with being a drama queen especially if you grow up to be as pretty as you.” Was this guy serious? He had two kids, one of whom was sitting up on his shoulders, which meant he most likely had a wife floating around here somewhere and he was flirting with my sister. Okay, screw his looks, he was an ass!
“So, when do we get to meet your wife?” I asked with a smile, trying to hold back my laughter when I caught Gia rolling her eyes at me.
“Oh, we’re umm…we’re separated.”
“Oh, that’s such a shame!” Gia said, coming off anything but genuine. That’s all it took were those two words ‘we’re separated’ and Gia was making her move. I figured I’d spare her the lecture that I so wanted to give that would go something like this: He’s too old for her. She hates kids except for Luke. Although I had to admit, that little Ava girl would certainly give her a good dose of her own medicine which could be pretty entertaining. Last but not least, there’s probably a reason he’s separated, as in – he’s a player, but I figured I’d save my breath. I knew Gia’s track record with men, even insanely good-looking ones, so I was sure if anything did come about from their casual flirting it wouldn’t last for long.
I spent the afternoon catching up with some old family members and getting to know some of my dad’s colleagues a little better while Gia continued on her mission with her latest conquest. I walked off to a secluded area of the back of the yard and took a seat on the bench, overlooking the Koi pond. This time next week, I ‘d be in Houston with Brett, enduring his mother and father. I foolishly wondered what it would be like if Brett and I ever did get married. Not that marriage was in my plans anytime soon, but if we did stay together for a few more years and were to marry, I would have to learn to deal with that family for the rest of my life. Splitting my time on the holidays and every other special occasion that came along. That was a thought I couldn’t even think of right now. Brett wasn’t ready for marriage anyway. He had just started up this new job and with the move, he needed time to settle, which was fine by me, and lately a part of me….actually a huge part of me wondered if Brett was really the one for me. My mind shifted to something even more foolish. What if Jason and I got married? I let out a light chuckle over that one. But why did that thought actually make me happy? Was it because my mind was instantly brought back to our almost kiss last night? What would have happened if Brett hadn’t called? How much further would we have taken it? As much as I tried convincing Gia this morning that it was the wine, I knew it was so much more. I didn’t like the way my body had reacted with his lips being so near, there was clearly something there.
“Why are you back here all by yourself?” My dad took a seat next to me on the bench, snapping me back to reality.
“I don’t know. Guess I got tired of watching Gia flirting with Adonis over there.”
My dad shook his head, looking a little concerned. “Yeah, well he’s too old for her.”
“How old is he?”
“Thirty nine.”
“Umm….Dad, how old are you, and how old is Amber?”
“That’s different.”
“How?” I laughed.
“It just is. Have you been hanging out with your mother or something?”
“Well, who is he, anyway?”
“He’s a big time developer that I work with from time to time.”
“Oh, so handsome and rich? I think you may be looking at your future son-in-law there, Dad.”
He shook his head in disgust, causing me to giggle. “So, what’s going on with you pumpkin head?”
“Not much.”
“Job’s going good?”
“It’s great. I’m attending my first seminar this week.”
“Oh yeah? Where at?”
“Houston. Brett’s flying out to meet me over the weekend so we can spend his birthday together.”
He raised his eyebrow. “That’s nice. So, things are going okay with him being so far away?”
“Yeah, really good. He was in New York a few weeks ago, so I got to see him then. It’s been really great. I think absence really does make the heart grow fonder.”
“Well, Carrie, it’s only been a few months. After a year into it, you may not be saying that.”
“Okay, what have you been talking to Mom now?”
A smile lit up his face at the mention of her. “Well, there, you see, I must be right if your mother actually agrees with something I’m saying?”
“Hmm… maybe I’ll have to call her and tell her that, and I’m sure she’ll change her whole outlook on this long-distance thing.”
We both began to laugh. “Seriously, Carrie, your mom is a very smart woman and not just as in a smart mouth…. she’s got a good head on her shoulders. Listen to what she says wisely. She and I only have your very best interests at heart.”
“I know that Dad. It’s just right now, I’m not ready to pack up and move to California. Is that wrong?”
“No. Your whole life is here.”
“Yes, but Brett, the man I love, the man who would do anything for me, is there. Shouldn’t I want to be with him? I just don’t know what’s wrong with me or what’s holding me back. I mean, I’m twenty four years old, this is the time in my life when I should be taking chances and experiencing new things.”
“Not if it’s something you don’t want.”
“Do you believe in soul mates?”
A small smile stretched across his face. “Well, I’ve never been the hopeless romantic type.” I nodded and looked straight ahead. “That doesn’t mean they don’t exist for some people. Why, what are you thinking? That maybe Brett’s not the one for you, and maybe you have a soul mate you’re destined to be with out there somewhere?”
I didn’t want to admit to him who I felt my soulmate really was. Just hearing it in my own mind sounded crazy enough.
I felt myself becoming more emotional. “I don’t know, I’m just so mixed up about it. I love Brett, I really do, and shouldn’t that be enough to make me want to try something new for him? What’s wrong with me, Dad? I feel like I’m losing my mind over this whole thing.” I broke down in tears in his arms unable to continue carrying the burden alone of the battle going on between my heart and my head.
***
Jason
After finishing up from my run, I took a seat on the bench by the lake to cool down. I looked around at the different families, making the most of this beautiful Saturday afternoon. My eyes focused on the teenagers cooling off in the freezing cold water that never seemed to warm up even on the hottest days in A
ugust. I remembered the fun times I would have hanging out here in high school with my friends and sometimes found myself wishing I could go back and relive that time and maybe do things a little differently. I couldn’t get Carrie and what almost happened last night out of my head - and I hated it. I hated that she was consuming my thoughts in that way more and more each day. I hated that I would secretly check her out and notice when she was wearing something that made her look extra hot. I hated that she had gone from sweet adorable Carrie, to someone I could imagine myself fucking. I shouldn’t be feeling that way toward her. I should love her as a friend. I shouldn’t feel as if I’m in love with her. I was supposed to be in love with Ashley, but I found myself falling out of love with her with each day that passed. Ashley and I were just so different. She was a workaholic and her career meant everything to her. She struggled her entire life to not be like her mother. Her dad had left them when she was two years old. Her mother battled with alcohol her whole life, and when Ashley was old enough, she soon became more like the mother, than the daughter. She was constantly taking care of her mother when she would go on one of her drinking binges, forcing her to grow up fast. She was lucky enough to get a full scholarship to college and vowed that from that day on, she’d live her adult life a lot differently than her childhood. She never saw her dad after the day he walked out, and I knew that affected her a lot, even though she would play it off like she couldn’t care less.
Her mother had sobered up some years ago, but the damage to their relationship was done. Ashley would still make her weekly calls to check up on her, but they would inevitably end in an argument. Part of me wondered if that was why she had that cold side to her. As hard as she tried to escape from that childhood, the effects of it were carrying over into her adult life. If anyone should have been able to sympathize with Teigan, it should have been Ashley, but instead she would roll her eyes and would make a sarcastic comment each time I would share my concerns over him with her. So, I finally stopped. I hadn’t been confiding in her much at all about anything. The only thing we seemed to have in common lately was sex. After staring out at the lake a little longer, I finally dragged myself up to head home and shower.
