by Beth Rinyu
“Arizona on business.”
“She’s a busy girl.”
“Yeah. She’s going to London for four weeks. Her company is expanding over there, and she’s going to help set up.”
My dad nodded. “Oh, when is that?”
“In a few weeks, I think. I don’t know and to tell you the truth, I really don’t care much anymore.”
“Well, then why are you still with her?”
“I don’t know. She’s just so different than –” I stopped myself just in time.
“Different than….Carrie?” he guessed right away.
I let out a deep sigh. “I know it’s wrong. I mean, Carrie, she’s one of my best friends. She’s my stepsister, and she may just be engaged to my other best friend as we speak.”
“Well, you can’t help how you feel, Jason. You and Carrie have always been close.”
“I know….but I should be happy right now. She’s going to be spending the rest of her life with a great guy. I should be happy with my own life instead of being consumed by thoughts of her. Do you know she came over the other night when I was sick and hung out with me?”
“Yeah – she said she was going over to see you.”
“She took care of me. Ashley….I don’t even think she knew that I wasn’t feeling good.”
“Jason, maybe you need to tell her how you’re feeling.”
“I can’t. This is how it’s meant to be. She loves Brett and he loves her. They belong together.”
“How do you know that?” He raised his eyebrow at me. I didn’t know for sure but that sure was how it seemed. They were the perfect couple.
“Yo, Ben check this out!” my dad’s friend Rick yelled from the other end of the boat.
“I’ll be right back,” my dad said, patting me on the shoulder as he got up to see what Rick wanted.
I stared out into the water. I should have told her before she left. I should have told her a long time ago. So many times I had imagined myself with Carrie. I had used so many women to try and help me fill the void I felt for her, to no avail. Part of me wondered if that’s what I was doing with Ashley now. I hated myself for feeling this way, and I just wanted these feelings I had for her to go away. I was so deep in thought that I jumped at my ringing phone. Brett. I knew this was the moment that I was dreading. The moment I would have to pretend to be happy for my two best friends.
“So, are you engaged?” I answered.
“Umm…no.” I felt like a death row inmate who was just told he was given a few extra hours to live. I don’t know why I felt a sense of relief at that moment, it was only a matter of time – hours actually before it became a reality.
“Jason…umm.”
He didn’t sound himself. I began to wonder if he did already ask her and if she said ‘no’. “What’s up, Brett?”
“I- I umm….cheated on Carrie and she found out.”
I was speechless. Did he really just say what I thought I heard? He cheated on Carrie? I felt like I had been knocked out cold and was just waking up “You fuckin’ cheated on her?” I could hear the anger in my voice.
“It meant nothing to me. I was drunk. I need you to talk to her for me, man.”
Was he fuckin crazy? I was so pissed at him right now myself.
“No way, man.”
“Jason, come on. How many girls have we slept with when we were drunk back in college that didn’t mean shit to us?”
“Yeah, but that still doesn’t change the fact we had sex with them. The same way it doesn’t change the fact you had sex with this girl.”
“Jason, you’re my best friend, you’re supposed to have my back.”
“Not with this. You cheated on Carrie. Remember, she’s my friend too? I’m the one who introduced you to her, and right now I’m really wishing I hadn’t.” I wanted to reach through the phone and knock him on his ass. Brett was always a player back in the day, but I thought Carrie had changed that. I was wrong. He was still that same guy he’d been back then.
“Jason, I’m begging you, man. I know she’ll listen to you. I swear this girl meant nothing to me.”
“Is this the first time that you cheated on her?” His silence answered my question.
“Look, I know you’re pissed at me for doing this to her and I’m pissed at myself too.”
“Pissed is a fuckin’ understatement. You are so fuckin’ lucky I’m not anywhere near you right now because I swear to god, I would kick your ass.” My dad furrowed his eyebrows at me as he walked back over.
“Fine! Turn into the morals police and do what you gotta do. I guess this opens up the door for you to fuck her like you always wanted.”
“Oh fuck you, dude! You’re the one that cheated on her and now you’re turning it into something else, just to make yourself feel better about what you did.”
My dad threw his head back and murmured, “Fuck,” underneath his breath.
“Thanks for nothing, man,” he shouted before hanging up.
I looked straight ahead, still in shock. He not only had Carrie fooled, but he fooled me too. I never thought he would do this to her. If I had thought anything was going to come between the two of them, it would have been his family. Never did I think it would be him being unfaithful.
“What the hell happened?” my dad asked.
“Brett fuckin’ cheated on Carrie. I just can’t believe it.” I shook my head, knowing Carrie was probably devastated. “He kept saying it wasn’t anything. He was drunk and it meant nothing to him. And when I asked him if that was the first time he cheated on her, he couldn’t answer. He’s such a fuckin’ dick.” I let out a deep breath. “Carrie deserves so much better than this.”
“Yeah, she does, Jason. So what are you going to do about it?” My father asked.
***
We got off the boat and said our goodbyes to my dad’s friends. The entire ride home was a blur. “I’ll call you later,” I said to my dad as I got out of his truck.
“Okay.” He gave me a reassuring smile.
I called Carrie once I got inside and left her a message when the call went straight to her voicemail. I was worried about her being there by herself, upset and in a strange city. I just wanted to jump out of my skin, wanting to be there for her. Brett had always put Carrie up on a pedestal and even though one drunken slip-up may have been okay in his eyes, it wasn’t in mine, especially when he was doing it to Carrie.
Chapter 16
Carrie
I wasn’t sure if my shaking legs were going to give out, but I was determined to keep going. The hot sun beat down on me, but I didn’t care. I just needed to get back to my hotel room. I needed to lie down and come to terms with everything that had just gone down in the last hour. Brett, the man I thought loved me and the man I thought I loved back – had cheated on me. I reached my hotel room, drew the curtains, curled up on my bed, and cried myself to sleep.
I darted up in bed, wondering if it had all just been a horrible dream, but in the moments it took me to truly wake up, I realized that it was all too real. I looked at the flashing clock and couldn’t believe it was after five already. Once I took a few precious minutes to gather my thoughts, I began to wonder if this had all happened for a reason. I wouldn’t have said yes if Brett had asked me to marry him, and I knew that would have caused trouble in and of itself. I would have been the bad guy, but at least I would have been honest. To feel like you had been totally blindsided and betrayed by someone you thought you knew was the worst feeling in the world. I immediately began to sympathize with my mother. I had only been with Brett for a year and a half and I was in shock. I couldn’t imagine having two kids and a ton of years together and having it happen then. When I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I didn’t even recognize the reflection staring back at me. My eyes looked like two slits, swollen shut from crying. The funny thing was, I wasn’t sure if I felt sad or relieved. I splashed some cold water on my face and brushed my teeth. My flight was leaving tomorrow evenin
g, and I desperately needed to change it to an earlier one…like hopefully tonight.
I pulled out my laptop to change my flight and was disrupted by the knock on my door. “Room service.” A voice called from behind the closed door.
Obviously they had the wrong room. I didn’t order any room service.
I flung the door open. “I’m sorry but I didn’t –” My stomach was doing somersaults and the smile I never thought would adorn my face again was plastered from ear to ear when I saw Jason standing on the other side with a pack of Oreo cookies.
“Jason!” I exclaimed. He flashed me that beautiful smile, the same one that conveyed so many emotions. I threw my arms around him, breaking down in tears once again.
He led me over to the couch, and we both took a seat.
“How – how did you know?’ I asked.
“He called me and asked me to talk to you for him.” I felt the smile immediately disappear from my face. Is that why he flew all the way here? Like usual, Jason read my mind and put it at ease with his reply. “I told him no way in hell, Carrie. Not where you’re concerned.”
“Thanks Jas, but, you didn’t have to do this.”
“I know, but I knew you were stuck here till tomorrow, so I figured you could use some company."
"You have no idea how much this means to me." Just looking at him put me at ease. It was if today never happened, and I was able to focus once again.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
"A little." I was amazed at how much had changed since he had gotten here. Before I fell asleep, I thought I'd never be able to eat again.
"Good, because I'm starving."
"Then let's go get you something to eat." He stood up and grabbed my hand to help me up. I looked down at his hand, still wrapped around mine as we walked out of my room and down the hall. My Jason was here. I was going to be okay.
***
Jason
"I’m so happy that you’re here," Carrie said as we waited for our food. Her eyes looked so blue tonight, even if they were filled with pain. “Thank you so much.”
“Anytime.”
“Oh, shit!” she said as she looked down at her ringing phone. “It’s my mom.”
“Umm….Carrie. She knows.”
Her eyes widened. “Well, my dad was right there when Brett called and dropped his little bombshell.”
She let out a deep breath. “Well, I guess I have to face it sooner or later.” She looked at me and smiled. “I’m okay, Mom.” She answered. I could see the emotion building in her eyes over just hearing her mom’s voice. She picked up the napkin and dabbed at her eyes. I hated seeing her like this. “Guess, who’s here?” she smiled at me once again and grabbed my hand over the table. “Jason….Yup, it was a very nice surprise…….Yeah, I know he is really great.” She squeezed my hand tighter.
After dinner we returned back to the hotel and sat out by the pool while downing a few beers.
“Hey, check this out!”
I pulled up the picture Teigan had sent me of him and the girl he was crushing on. He looked genuinely happy. Her head was resting on his shoulder, and they both had huge smiles plastered across their faces.
“Oh my god! Is that Emily?” Carrie asked, taking my phone and getting a closer look at the picture.
“Yup, he finally got the nerve to ask her out.”
“That is so awesome.” She was unable to wipe the smile from her face. “He really likes her. Boy, I wish they could have the same kind of relationship you and I had back in high school. He could really use a good friend like that.” She handed me my phone and we exchanged smiles. “Everyone should be so lucky to have a friend like you.” I could see her eyes building with emotion as she placed her hand on mine and rubbed her thumb over my knuckles before suddenly switching gears. “You know, now that the shock of it all is starting to wear off, I think this may actually have happened for a reason.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
She lifted her beer bottle up to her lips and drank the rest down. “I wouldn’t have said yes.” My eyes widened at that admission. “I know….you’re a little shocked at that, right?”
“Just a little. I mean, up until today, you and Brett were the couple most people dreamed of being.”
She let out a little laugh. “Guess that’s how it appeared to everyone. I did love Brett but ….. I don’t know, I always felt like something was missing between the two of us. I felt like I constantly had to work at it. I want to be in a relationship that’s effortless….you know?” I shook my head. She wasn’t making much sense to me, but the fact we were both a little buzzed wasn’t helping either. “Like, take me and you for instance. We know each other like the back of our hands. We’re alike. Our families are the same.”
“Well, Carrie, I mean, my dad is married to your mom. So, umm…”
“No, I’m not even talking about that. Even if they weren’t married, I just feel like I can be myself around you and your parents. I can be plain old Carrie. I don’t have to be someone that you, or they, think I should be. It just got so tiring with Brett. I was always afraid someone better was going to come along. Someone his parents approved of.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t move to California for him. I just couldn’t. My mind was telling me to do it, but my heart was holding me back. Maybe this was my fault he did this. Maybe I was a horrible girlfriend for staying behind and not going with him. I don’t know.” She shook her head and let out a deep sigh.
“It wasn’t your fault, Carrie.”
I reached for her hand and her eyes burned into mine. Her free hand swept across my cheek, and I had to catch my breath. I wanted her so badly, but I was here to offer her support. Not take advantage of her vulnerability over how she was feeling about Brett.
“Do you believe in fate, Jason?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure.”
“Jas?”
“Hmm….”
She bit her bottom lip and stared into space, the same way she always did when she was deep in thought. She finally focused back on me as if she was coming back to reality. “Umm…. I was thinking, I could really go for dessert. You?”
“Maybe.”
“Well, I do believe there’s a pack of Oreo cookies with our names on them up in the room.” She stood up and took my hand.
“Yeah, but we don’t have milk.”
“That’s what they have room service for, silly!”
“Wow, you just think of everything, don’t you?”
“Sure do!”
We spent the rest of the night with the pillows propped up on the bed, eating Oreo cookies and watching movies. Carrie was sound asleep with her head resting on my shoulder. All night long she’d looked like she was ready to burst into tears, now she finally looked at peace as she slept. I kissed her on the top of her head and eased myself up, trying my best not to disturb her.
“Jason?” she whispered as I made my way over to the pull-out sofa.
“Yeah.”
“Can you lay down here with me?”
I let out a deep breath. “Umm….” I tried to remind myself that even though Carrie no longer had a boyfriend, I still had a girlfriend, but when I saw the sadness in her eyes I knew I couldn’t say ‘no’. I had to be here for her tonight, the same way she’d always been there for me. Not sexually but emotionally. As I crawled into the bed next to her and felt her warm, soft skin touching mine, I knew this was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do.
“Thank you for being you,” she whispered, stretching her neck up, and giving me a kiss on my cheek. She nuzzled closer to me, resting her head on my chest. After a few minutes, her breathing began to change and she was asleep once again, bringing me back to that night all those years ago; Carrie in my bedroom begging me to be her first. So much had changed since then but one thing hadn’t, the way I felt about her. The only difference was, if she were to offer herself to me tonight, there would be no way in hell I’d be able to resist.
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br /> Chapter 17
Carrie
I woke up early the next morning, allowing Jason to sleep in while I showered and dressed. He looked absolutely adorable as I stood in the bathroom doorway staring at him sleeping, but then again he always looked adorable to me. I didn’t think I could love him anymore than I already did, but after yesterday he’d proven me wrong. How I wished circumstances were different between us and that we had taken that next step in our relationship when we’d first met. But if we had, he might not be here right now, and I would be a complete emotional wreck over being jilted by my boyfriend. The alternative scenario was that we ended up together, which meant he would have never met Ashley, and I wouldn’t be in the quandary I was in right now. I had almost gotten the words out last night as the alcohol took over, but something stopped me. I knew how absolutely horrible I was feeling over what Brett had done to me, and I wanted to spare Jason that pain – for now. My indecisive self finally decided I would tell him once we got home.
I had woken up to two text messages and a voicemail from Brett, and had deleted all three before I could read or listen to them. I knew I’d eventually have to break down and talk to him but right now my emotions were still running way too high. As I dug through my bag, I finally found the two tickets to the Houston Rockets game. Cam had hooked me up big time. Cam started his career with the Rockets but was now the star shortstop for the Los Angeles Vipers. It had worked out perfectly as his team was in Houston playing the Rockets this weekend. This was part of my birthday present to Brett, even though I hated baseball, I didn’t care, especially since I would be getting to see Cam play. Now these tickets seemed useless - or maybe not. I looked over at Jason who loved baseball as well, even though I knew he was a diehard New York fan, I knew he would be willing to bend to watch another team play.
I sat on the edge of the bed and gently tapped his shoulder. “Hey, sleepyhead,” I whispered. His eyes shot open and I couldn’t help but smile. He looked so much like a little boy at the moment.
