‘I only want what’s best for her, Will.’
‘I know you do but I don’t want you worrying yourself into an early grave over her. What we can’t control we just have to settle down and accept, even enjoy.’ He squeezed her hand.
‘You’d not have said that about many things we haven’t been able to control in the past.’ She turned and nestled under his shoulder. ‘I can think of plenty of things you fought against, even though we had no control at all.’
‘That’s because I was still learning what I have control over and what I don’t.’
‘Oh, I see, and I’m still to learn that, am I?’ She dug him playfully in the ribs.
‘We’ve all still got things to learn, my love. And I suspect we’ll learn some things yet from Dan and Elizabeth.’
While Mary was considering what her husband had said she heard the beginning of his soft snoring and closed her own eyes. There’d been enough thinking for one day.
Chapter Sixteen
Elizabeth and Dan were sitting in their favourite spot, under the shade of some she-oaks that clung to the bank of the river. They often sat for long periods in companionable quietness, watching the boats that now regularly came and went past the farmland, carrying stores from Sydney to the small but growing communities along that section of the Hawkesbury River, and then taking crops and produce back to the city.
‘I’ve talked with your father,’ Dan said, his soft drawl breaking the silence. ‘I’ve told him I’ll wait till he considers it’s right for you to marry.’
‘And what about what I think?’ Elizabeth brushed pale wisps of hair from her eyes and leaned into his shoulder. ‘I do know my own mind, you know. And I told Ma so.’
‘I don’t want you to upset her, love. There’s no rush. You know how I feel about you. But I want this to be right.’
‘And I’m sure when you tell her that, she’ll be quite happy. I know she only wants what’s good for me. But she does still think of me like a child sometimes.’
‘Of course she does. She’s your mother.’ Dan chuckled.
‘You’re not afraid of her, are you?’ Elizabeth’s eyes widened and she pulled playfully at his shirt sleeve.
‘I wouldn’t say afraid,’ Dan said slowly, ‘but I wouldn’t like to upset her, that’s for sure.’
Elizabeth giggled. ‘You are afraid of her, aren’t you? She’s not so fierce. Really she’s not. It’s just that she’s very protective.’
‘As she should be. You’re worth protecting, Elizabeth.’ He put his hand over hers and stroked it softly.
‘Then it’s time she accepted that you’ll protect me, Dan. You always have.’ She sighed deeply, looking sideways at him. His face was chiseled and strong, his skin deeply tanned. His hair had lightened from his days in the sun and fell in soft waves around his ears and the finer hair of his beard. Elizabeth thought him the most handsome of men but it was his heart that she loved most of all. He was gentle-natured and considerate, enough like her father to give her absolute confidence in his promise to care for her, but also strong enough in his own characteristics to be exciting. He made her laugh. He taught her new things every day. And underneath all that there was a boyishness about him that made her feel needed. She wanted to look after him, to make a home for him, to raise his children, to share with him something he had never had in his life before.
‘So, she really wants me to have Christmas dinner with your family?’ Dan still sounded a little uncertain.
‘Yes, she does. I suggested it. In fact I insisted. She wanted me to invite you for dinner and I said Christmas would be perfect because I’ll not have you spend another Christmas day without family. It’s just not right.’
‘I’d love to spend Christmas with you. You know that. It’s just that it’s a special family time, and it doesn’t seem proper, somehow.’
‘That’s exactly why it’s the perfect time, Dan. You are family now. I don’t ever want to spend another Christmas without you.’
‘That’s very sweet, Elizabeth.’ Dan touched her cheek lightly.
‘We will be married before next Christmas, won’t we?’ she pleaded. ‘I’ll be nearly seventeen then.’
His laugh rang across the still waters of the river in front of them and two small birds splashing about beside the bank were startled into flight. They swooped across the glassy surface and lighted in the water on the opposite bank. The sun was dropping quite quickly behind the trees that dotted the fields west of the river, and a few clouds in the sky began to turn shades of pink.
‘I’d best get you back or your mother will be ready to cook my goose for your dinner.’ Dan continued to chuckle as he stood and pulled Elizabeth to her feet.
‘You haven’t answered me,’ she said plaintively.
‘I’ll marry you as soon as I have your parents’ permission, my love.’ He put his arm lightly around her shoulder and began to shepherd her towards the hut.
‘Then why were you laughing?’ She pushed at his ribs playfully.
‘Because you’re so sweet…and so…free to speak your mind. I’m grateful, is what I am. And thankful that you’re able to be like that.’
‘I’m not afraid, Dan, if that’s what you mean. And that’s because you’ve made me feel safe. I trust you.’
‘I’m very glad of that, love. Very glad. But it’s not only me that’s kept you safe, you know.’
‘Yes, I do know that. Pa and Ma have done all they could to look after me as well. And I love them very much. But I’m ready to make a life with you now, Dan.’
‘Yes, I do believe you are. You’ve grown up very quickly, Elizabeth. More quickly than some.’
‘Well, somebody said to me that bad things can help us grow up or they can stunt our growth. We have to choose which.’ She smiled cheekily.
‘Is that so? And who was so clever as to say that to you?’ He had a knowing smirk on his face.
‘Actually, I can’t remember but I think it must have been Reverend Cartwright.’ She laughed brightly and pulled away from him as he reached out to tweak her nose.
They were both still chuckling as they came to the front door of the hut and almost ran into Mary coming out.
***
‘I was just coming to call Elizabeth for dinner,’ Mary said, looking them both up and down, a wry grin on her face. It was hard not to respond to the happiness of the couple.
‘And I was just coming in, Ma. I can smell something wonderful cooking. Is there enough for Dan as well?’ She pulled on Dan’s arm, sure he was about to object to her suggestion, and gazed expectantly at her mother.
Mary hesitated for a moment and then her grin widened. ‘Sure there is. I suppose I’ll have to get used to another mouth to feed from here on in, won’t I?’
Elizabeth launched herself at her mother and hugged her. ‘For a little while, Ma, but soon you’ll have less.’ When Mary looked at her quizzically she went on. ‘I’ll be doing the cooking for Dan and me before long, won’t I? In our own place.’ She swished her skirt and pushed past her mother into the hut, tipping her head at Dan as she went.
Mary stood firm, blocking Dan’s path and eyeing him carefully. ‘She’s very determined,’ she said quietly. ‘Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?’
‘Very sure, Missus Douglass.’ Dan’s face flushed. ‘I hope you’ll be as happy about it as I am…soon.’
‘I’m getting used to the idea.’ Mary’s eyes narrowed into a warning. ‘I just need to be satisfied that you’ll take good care of her.’
‘I’d give my life for her, Missus Douglass. I’m not sure what else I can do.’ Dan’s voice was sheepish. He was obviously desperate to reassure her.
‘I doubt she’d want you to go so far. She’d not forgive you for leaving her if you did that, Dan.’
As she spoke Mary realised that she was thinking of herself. She knew how protective William would be of her and had often thought if he lost his own life saving hers she’d not want to go on w
ithout him. She felt her throat constrict with emotion and took a deep breath.
‘There’s one thing you’ll have to do mighty quick though,’ she said hoarsely, trying to cover her feelings.
‘What’s that?’ Dan asked innocently.
‘You’ll have to stop calling me Missus Douglass. It makes me sound ancient and seeing there’s less years between you and me than there is between you and Elizabeth, it don’t seem right.’
Dan blinked, as if trying to ascertain whether he was being reprimanded for being too old for Elizabeth, or whether Mary was inviting him to a new level of friendship. Before he could answer, Elizabeth’s head appeared around the door.
‘Come on, you two. We’re starving in here.’
Mary smiled at her daughter and then turned back to Dan and stretched out her hand. ‘It’s seems the rest of the family’s ready for us, eh, Dan?’
William looked up from the table where he was settling Billy into the highchair he’d recently made for him. Mary was coming into the hut, arm in arm with Dan and a cheeky grin on her face. Dan looked bewildered.
‘Get used to it, Dan,’ William said, softly chuckling to himself. ‘It won’t be the last time she’ll surprise you.’
***
‘I’m still finding it a bit strange, Ellen,’ Mary said to her friend early the following year. ‘It seems Elizabeth and Dan are determined to marry before the end of the year.’
‘You do approve though, don’t you? I mean she couldn’t have a finer young man.’
‘Yes, I have to admit, I’ve quite taken to him lately and it’s clear to me that he’ll be a good husband. Elizabeth’s convinced he’ll be the best ever but I can hardly agree to that, can I? Considering that I’ve already got that man.’ She sniggered as she poured tea for herself and Ellen. ‘It’s just that with our Thomas and Billy only being eight and four, it’s hard to imagine our daughter being married.’
‘And likely she’ll be making you a grandmother in no time at all.’
‘Oh, please. Don’t make it worse,’ Mary huffed.
Ellen sipped tea for a moment and glanced around at her three-year-old on the floor. ‘They get along well, my Tommy and your Billy? Happy to sit and play with the simplest of things.’
‘They’re sweet boys.’ Mary nodded, patting Billy on the head. ‘I think they miss the others when they’re at school. Not sure what to do with themselves when all the noise disappears.’
‘I suppose we always notice when someone goes missing, eh?’
‘Oh, you poor dear. You’re thinking about Joe, aren’t you? We all miss him, love, but I’m sure it’s terrible for you.’
‘Sometimes, it is, yes, but mostly I’ve come to terms with him being gone now. He was so ill at the end. It was a release for him, really.’ Ellen sighed heavily.
‘Then what is it, Ellen? You’re hedging about something. What’s on your mind?’
‘I was thinking about my Marie, actually. I think she’s going to be gone soon as well.’
‘What do you mean, gone?’ Mary’s eyes widened.
‘She’s mooning about over that Robert Allen, and I’m afraid she’s thinking of running off with him.’
‘What? She’s younger than Elizabeth. And that Allen fellow…well, he’s no prize, is he?’
‘No, he’s not. I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt but I’ve heard he’s quite a rogue. Keeps getting into trouble and won’t work. He’s just about finished his sentence but I don’t see that he’s got much character. Not like Dan.’
‘Oh, Ellen, that’s terrible. Can’t you talk sense to Marie? She deserves better.’
‘Yes, she does, but she’s got a bee in her bonnet. She’s not happy with me and I’m afraid she’s making her own plans to spite me.’
‘Why on earth would she do that? What’s she not happy with you about?’
Ellen cleared her throat and turned around again to look at her small son. She seemed to be searching for words.
‘What’s going on, Ellen?’ Mary’s voice was stern. ‘I’m not good at guessing and if I try I’m likely to jump to some horrible conclusion. Now spit it out, girl.’
‘Well, I’ve told Marie…told them all, that Daniel Bridge has asked me to become his wife.’ Ellen paused and waited for Mary’s response. She watched as her friend’s mouth dropped open, then closed again sharply as she held back the first thing that came to her mind.
After a moment’s reflection in which Mary gathered her thoughts, she spoke slowly. ‘Let me get this straight, Ellen. Daniel Bridge has asked you to marry him? And I’m thinking that you’re considering the proposal or you wouldn’t have told your kids about it.’
‘That’s right.’ Ellen nodded.
‘Well, don’t hold back, Ellen. Tell me what on earth has happened that you’d be thinking of getting married again. Why, it’s only half a year since Joe died and you’ve been bereft without him. You’ve only been working as a domestic for Daniel Bridge…haven’t you?’
‘Of course I have, Mary. Of course that’s all I’ve been doing! And it’s seven months since Joe died and I’ve missed him so badly that it’s nearly sent me demented. But Daniel Bridge has been very good to me. He’s kind…and he’s lonely, as I am. He says we make a good pair. We both want the company, Mary. Surely there’s nothing wrong in that.’ A tear squeezed its way from Ellen’s eye and trickled down her cheek.
Mary sat stunned for a few moments and then took hold of Ellen’s hand firmly. ‘Of course, there isn’t, love. I didn’t mean to disapprove. I’m just shocked is all. I didn’t see it coming.’
‘I didn’t either, Mary. Not really. I could see that we were getting along, that it was easy for us to chat away when he got home from the bank. And he was ever so grateful to have a hot meal waiting and …well, as I said, the company. But you could have knocked me over with a feather when he suggested we get married. Just a week ago, it was. I’ve been thinking about it ever since and I can’t see why I shouldn’t. Joe would want me to be happy, I’m sure. He’d want me to have a home with a good man.’
‘I’m sure he would, too, love.’
‘And he’d be grateful that the children have someone like Daniel to look out for them. He’s quite a wealthy man, is Daniel. Not that I’d ever marry anyone just because of that. But he’s as kind to the kids as he is to me and he’s bought them clothes and books for their schooling…more than Joe and me could ever afford.’
‘Joe would be grateful, Ellen. I’m sure he’d approve. But it’s up to you, really. Whatever makes you happy. That’s what matters now.’ Mary’s shoulders relaxed as she adjusted to the news and began to see what a good idea it was for her friend.
‘Well, that’s not how Marie sees it,’ Ellen said sadly.
‘Doesn’t she like Daniel?’
‘She likes him well enough, but he’s not her father, is he? And she thinks it’s disgusting that I’d think of marrying someone else. I suppose it’s only natural that she doesn’t want to think of her father being…replaced.’
‘No, a young girl’s not likely to understand that, I reckon. But she’ll get used to the idea, Ellen. It’s not for her to decide for you.’
‘No, but I think she might run off with this Robert Allen just to spite me.’ Ellen’s head dropped into her hands and she rubbed at her face, clearly agitated.
Mary put an arm around her and patted her shoulder. She could feel the chubbiness of her friend who had over the years become quite rounded. Ellen had always been a cheery soul and able to see the good and the positive in most things. It had been hard for Mary to watch her grieving for Joe these past months. Her face had been drawn, her eyes dark with sadness. If there was some happiness ahead for her in a marriage to Daniel Bridge – who from all accounts was a good man, hard working, sensible and kind – then Mary wanted that for her.
‘I hope she doesn’t do that, Ellen. But you can’t deny yourself a little happiness and comfort because Marie’s still grieving her father. It’ll
pass. She’ll learn to live with it.’
‘I hope so, for I’ve made up my mind to go ahead. I’m tired and I still have three younger ones to care for…with or without Marie to help me. Not that she’s much help, mind. She’s a bit flighty at the best of times and the way she goes on about this Robert Allen, well, I doubt I can talk any sense into her at all. Daniel’s tried too, but that only made it worse. She thinks he’s only thinking of himself. And it’s not so, Mary. He’s very considerate of her…of all of my children. He doesn’t want to cause any hurt to them.’ With this Ellen began to weep quietly and laid her head on Mary’s shoulder.
‘There, there, love. This shouldn’t be a sad time. You’ve had enough of that. You should be able to be happy about this. Do you want me to have a talk to Marie? Maybe I could help her see your point of view.’
Ellen sniffed loudly and wiped her eyes. ‘Thanks, Mary, but I doubt that would do any good. It’s all right. I’ll talk to her again but in the end I can’t really control what she decides, can I? She’s only fifteen but these days they’re very obstinate at that age, aren’t they?’
‘You’re not wrong about that, love,’ Mary agreed, shaking her head.
‘So if she goes off with Robert then there’s nothing I can do about it. I have to think of the rest of us.’
***
Through the winter William and Dan found time to work together, mending some fences. They enjoyed each other’s company and liked to discuss the progress of the colony.
‘It does seem that there are more free men arriving these days. Surely it’s a good sign for the colony. It’s no longer just a dumping ground for convicts.’ Dan held fast to a post while William fixed it in place.
‘Even though it’s been a blessing in disguise for convicts like you and me,’ William added.
‘Yes, there’s no doubt that God has brought good out of bad for us, Will. But it hasn’t been so for all those who came as prisoners. I think with more free families coming now, it’s what the country really needs. And men with skills that can be used to build and plan better.’
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