by Anyta Sunday
“You surely can be doofus sometimes,” Trey said, humor evident in his tone before it turned serious. “I mean, how did you know you were gay?”
Why did he want to know? Why wouldn’t he? I’d have been curious too, if I were him. Sure, I could tell him, it was no big deal. But—I probably shouldn’t tell himexactlyhow I knew. “I, uh…Well…” I took another breath and started again. “Guys turn me on?” Was that enough? “And I, ah, have never got hard with a girl unless I was thinking of a guy.”
“Hmmm.” Hmmmm, what the hell did that mean? “So you’ve been with girls before?”
I twisted in the blankets and faced Trey. As I’d only hurriedly pulled the curtains, enough light from outside filtered in to outline Trey’s profile. He stared at the ceiling, his arms hooked under his sleeping pillow (the others were piled on the floor). Without moving, he flicked his eyes in my direction, acknowledging the fact he was aware I watched him.
I rose up on one elbow, but the room began to move so back down I went. “I’ve been with one girl before. I thought maybe I just needed the opportunity and something would click. It didn’t.”
“And what about that friend fella of yours?”
I swallowed the excess saliva that pooled in my mouth thanks to my nerves. Although why I should be nervous of this conversation I had no idea. Or maybe I did have an ir/>dea, but couldn’t admit it? Jeez, none of my thoughts were making sense.
“Do you mean Ryan?” My cheeks burned as I recalled the incident. I didn’t particularly want to talk about it.
“Yeah, that’s the guy. Did you like him?” I said nothing for a while, then very softly admitted it. “I was attracted to him. Turns out more physically than emotionally though.” I laughed weakly.
“He was a right jerk.” I smiled, but it quickly disappeared. “You looked pretty disgusted that day too, Trey.”
A moment’s silence. “I was…” He paused and turned in his bed so his back was to me. “It just took me by surprise.” We said nothing more. Within a few minutes Trey’s light snores filled the room. Somehow the regularity of it comforted me, and not too much later I drifted into a deep sleep.
When I woke, sun poured into the room, bathing me in warmth. Groggily, my eyelids unsheathed my sight. The two things I was first aware of was one—my spinning head, and two—my raging morning hard-on. As if on automatic I stuck my hand into my boxers and stroked.
Trey stirred and I quickly removed my hand. Shoot, where were the blankets? I peeked over the side of the bed and saw them in a tangled mess on the floor.
“Don’t stop,” he said, and yawned. “I mean, come on—we know we both do it. So let’s just stop with the trying to hide it, yeah?”
I was speechless. Even my thoughts were stuttering. What the..? He had a point. Right? ButTreywas rightthere. It wasn’t just a friend I’d be jacking off in front of.
“Anyway,” Trey continued, leaning out of the bed and fishing for something in drawer of the side table. “I got my own that reallyneeds taking care of right now, and I’m not going to wait for you to leave.”
He pulled out at towel. Oh, oh. I should have averted my eyes, but they seemed to be magnetized to him. With a rough flick his blankets came off. A wonderfully large tent had me drooling. (If I wasn’t already). Fuck. I was turned on. So hard it almost hurt.So suck it up and do something about it!It was just jacking off, nothing criminal.
Trey stuck his mouth watering-ness out of his boxer briefs, the elastic over his base, and began working. Soon he moved his hips in a circular motion. Shit it looked sexy. I could have cum just watching him.
Unable to hold back any longer, I took my own throbbing dick and worked it slowly. As Trey got vocal, I got lost in my pleasure. His grunts made me moan and that just made him louder.Which was too much—ahhhh—ropes of semen unloaded onto my stomach. At the same time I heard Trey cum too.
Far out that wasgood. After mopping myself up with some tissues, I got up. My head pounded as I grabbed a towel, my clothes and shower bag. Trey acted like nothing just happened, stretching his torso while looking at me. I on the other hand did everything to avoid his gaze. “That was great,” he said. “Now I really need to pee.”
I headed toward the showers slightly nauseous, but maybe it was hunger? Trey trundled behind me, and I fastened my stride. Why couldn’t I get rid of him? Couldn’t he tell I wanted to be alone? He should. Dammit.
He nipped to my side and shook his head.What was that for?
“This taking your clothes to the showers to dress. That’s gotta stop.” I opened my mouth to interject, but Trey continued over top of me, “No one does that. Especially not when they don’t even shower.” I thought I’d snuck out quietly those mornings. So how did he know I did that? I scowled. Thank God the bathrooms were just up ahead, I could finally leave him. “I’m just saying man,” he finished quickly, “you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”
But he was so wrong. I was deeply ashamed. Because I didn’t just lust after Trey and his freaking hot bod; I lusted afterknowing him. I wanted to pl learn who he was, because everything I knew so far, I liked. Really,really liked.
*** “Big lunch,” Syd said, sliding into the chair next to me, his tray carrying a milkshake and what looked like a pumpkin and feta ciabatta. Yum.
I finished a mouthful of omelet, and speared a piece of fried chicken. “Yeah, I’m so hung.” I slurped on some coke. “And this heat is not helping my head any.”
Syd grinned, but there was something strained about it. We’d only known each other just over a week, but I we seemed to just click. I could have known him for years. I studied his posture as he bit into his ciabatta. His shoulders slumped forward more than usual, and he kept tapping his leg. Every now and then while I chatted with him, his eyes would cloud over and he stare into the distance. After it happened the third time I took his milkshake and began drinking. He didn’t even notice!
“Okay, what’s up? Are you dreaming about the guy you met yesterday? And why haven’t you told me anything already?” Syd focused on me, biting his lip. “Um…” I decided to help him out. “What’s his name?” “Lucas.” “And who is this Lucas? What do you know about him?”
Syd snapped more into his usual animated, confident self. “Ohhh, he’s amazing. He studies classics and art history, and speaks Spanish and French fluently, and is apparently not bad at darts.” He continued giving me the low down on what seemed like his dream guy. “Oh, and did I mention he’s in a band? Shit he’s hot.”
“Okay,” I said, lowering my voice, “You’re forgetting some important details.” “Like what?” “Like a description.”
“Oh you know, slightly taller than me. Black hair—natural, grey eyes, button nose, wicked smile.” Syd sighed. “Does a bit of sport, eats wells—I didn’t see under the clothes, but he felt pretty fine through them.”
“This Lucas guy sounds like a looker.”
Syd scowled. “Yeah, but hands off! He’s mine. Well, maybe.” He went quiet and contemplative again. “Maybe?” “Well, he’s perfect, but—”
I held my breath, hoping it wasn’t the same but I’d had about him. “Are you into himthatway?” I asked, raising a brow.
“Maybe. Well, yes, I think so.” He frowned, and stared over my shoulder. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” “Yes. But I’m not sure I can.” He stared intently at his milkshake still in my hands. “I just need to figure some stuff out. It’ll be right, I’m sure. And I—I do like him.”
I took another sip of his shake and handed it over. “Thanks. And if and when you do need to chat about it…”
Syd gave a short sharp nod in understanding. “You got classes this afternoon?”
“Nah, today is an easy day for me. Had two earlier. It works out perfectly because I’m working Tuesdays back at home.” “Really what do you do? Is it a big trip?” “I run an afterschool care club at my old grade school. Twenty-five, six to seven-year-olds. It’s only thirty m
inutes by car, not long at all. And so worth it to see my little buddies.”
“Twenty-five of them?” Syd said his eyes wide. “That’s a handful. More than a handful.” “I have someone helping.” I pushed the remains of my lunch away and leaned back in the chair. “Actually, I’ll be working with Trey.”
“You seem to be getting on better with your roomie than I am with mine.” Yeah, unfortunately. What wouldn’t I give to have a plain hate-my-roomie situation? Life would be so much simpler. I sighed.
“What was that for?” Syd asked, looking at me suspiciously out the corner of his eye.
Did I dare tell Syd the truth about how I felt with Trey? I searched his face. Open, honest, receiving. I probably could talk to him about it. But not today,ntl not right now, and certainly not in the middle of the cafeteria.
I pushed a stray lock from my eyes. “After work I’m going to tell Mom about me.”
With a small comforting smile, Syd patted shoulder. “I’ll be thinking of you.”
“Yeah. Thanks. I feel ready.” “And if you need to talk...” He mimicked the look I’d given him earlier. “Okay?” I playfully punched him in the shoulder. Smirking, he got up from the table. “I’ve got to get to biology now. How about a run tomorrow?”
For a moment I flashbacked to yesterday, the run, the race, the drinking. Trey had said he wanted to run again, but it was a bad idea. I couldn’t risk my constraint spiraling out of control. I looked at Syd. Surely if he came running too, Trey would back out? Or if not, there’d at least be a barrier between us. “Yeah, let’s,” I said, internally relaxing, “Say around six?”
“Perfect.” Well, it wasn’t perfect, but it was something. Chapter Seven I GLANCED AT my watch. Quarter to two. It was time to get going. I hurried back to the dorms, hoping Trey had forgotten or changed his mind about helping out. I glanced skyward, I mean, couldn’t I get a break?
I scooted down the hall to my room. Maybe I’d—yeah, I’d leave right away and claim I’d thought he’d forgotten. There would be no harm in that, surely. Loving the plan, I shoved the key in the lock and twisted.Just nip in, change into sneakers, and grab car keys.
I stepped inside, and my face fell. Well, okay, I couldn’t see if it fell or not, but it felt that way. At the sight of Trey, a rush of nerves, worry, embarrassment—not to mention liking— assailed me all at once. It was like someone stirred my insides with a giant spoon. “I thought you had class until two,” I said, hearing the accusation in my voice, but unable to do anything about it.
Trey fiddled with his computer game control, and looked at me. “Last class was cancelled. How’d you know that anyway, you’re rarely around?”
“I—ah—I don’t,” I said, slipping off my flip flops. “I just thought so, because usually no one’s in the room at this time.”
He switched off his television screen, and grabbed bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “I wasn’t going to be late for the free ride home.”
“Hey, hey, you will be pitching in for gas.” Trey cracked a dreamy smile. Okay, don’t worry about it. Your wish is my command.Man I was a sucker. “Let’s go then.”
For the first half of the journey I said nothing. I didn’t care to start any conversation. But as we neared the school—and because Trey also hadn’t cared to say or ask anything —I gave him a run-down of what we’d do with the kids.
“We get paid to do that? Doesn’t sound like work at all. Sounds like fun to me!”
I smothered a grin at his naivety. Of course it was fun, but, well, he’d see. At Treewok Elementary, I introduced him to Mrs. Rollins. She craned her neck looking at him, and shifted nervously in her chair.
“I’m Trey.” He used a deep but soft pitch and I stirred at the sound of it. Mrs. Rollins seemed to relax, flashing him a large smile. “Ah, Trey Brennan.”
Brennan. Trey Brennan. That sounded good. Nicer than Shane Watson, that was for sure. Hmmm… I drifted off and in a matter of minutes I’d just outlined my whole life. And all because of the name Brennan. Shane Brennan. I began to sigh internally, and that’s when—snap!—what the hell was I doing? Never. Going. To happen.
Mrs. Rollins’s laugh brought me back to the conversation. She bit her bottom lip and nodded as Trey told her what he studied. “Interesting, and what made you want to study that?” she said, touching her hair and smiling ag ineain— wait a sec, was she—was sheflirting?She was twice his age! Okay, so she looked after herself, and it wasn’t obvious she was in her early forties—actually the first time I saw her, I thought she was thirty—butstill!
With a sharp flick of my hand, I motioned to the clock above the door. “We wouldn’t want to be late for the kids,” I said. How annoyed did that sound!
Trey glanced at me and caught my eye for a moment. Although he didn’t smile, I sensed one in his stare. Then, almost as if she’d forgotten I was there, Mrs. Rollins faced me. “Oh right,” she said, pulling a set of keys from her desk drawer. “Please drop these into the box outside my door when you’re done.”
“Of course.” She handed me an attendance list, and insisted on accompanying Trey and I to the gym. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Mrs. Rollins—” “Kathy, call me Kathy.”
“Well, Kathy, I hope we get a chance to talk again, sometime.”
“That would be lovely.” She faced me. “Well, if you have any concerns, you’ll find me in the staffroom.”
I nodded and smiled, waiting until she’d turned the corner before I turned and glared at him. “You flirt!”
“Me? No. Her? Yes. And I’m flattered. Now aren’t those kids waiting for us?”
I pressed my hand against the door, but didn’t open it. “You were egging her on though.” Trey blinked, his long thick lashes kissing each other before coming up again. “Does that upset you?” “Of course it does!” As soon as I said it, clapped my mouth shut. I hardly dared to look at Trey, but a quick glance told me he was smiling. Smiling? “I mean, you know,” I continued, meaning everything I said, even if it wasn’t what I’d originally been thinking, “that’s not nice for June.”
His smile broke at the same time I swung open the door. Kids swung from the wall bars, and did handstands and roly-polys on bright blue mats. A few played knuckle bones in the corner. An exhausted Mrs. Treale flashed me a warm smile as we came in to overtake.
“Thanks,” she said, coming over to us. “They’re in a pretty good mood today. Only Paul isn’t feeling so good, and Benji and Cameron are sick.” She lowered her voice. “Now, a couple of others have been hassling Paul lately. So please keep an extra eye on him.”
I nodded and did a quick scan for the boy. He sat alone, resting his back against the heaters, fiddling with a hole in his jeans. “Also, keep watch for Jessie and Karl, and inform me if they act up. I will be talking to their parents next month, sooner if things don’t calm down.”
“I’ll tell you if I see or hear anything.” “Thank you. It’s good to have you back, Shane.” She glanced briefly at Trey. “Right. Now it’s off to the staff meeting.” In the time it took Mrs. Treale to walk out the door, a handful of kids neared Trey. Most hovered at the edge of a five foot radius, but they were certainly curious.
Joanna—Jo, she was a bit tomboyish, and one of the youngest—didn’t hesitate to cross that threshold. She ran right up to Trey and poked his leg. “He’s not wearing stilts. They’re real!” she screamed. Which lead to two reactions: one, the largest smile I’d ever seen transformed Trey’s face so that he positively glowed, and two, the kids surrounding him whooped and cheered and—
“He’s so tall.” “Funny.” “Not as big as my dad.” “Your dad’s fat, not tall.”
While Trey was doused in attention, I moved over to the heaters and crouched next to Paul. “Hey, man! How are ya? I’ve missed you over the summer.”
Paul shyly smiled. “I-I-I’m d-d-doing okay. M-m-missed you, t-too.”
I pulled him up from the floor. “We’re going to play a game. Because see that giant over there?�
�� Paul nodded. “Yeah, well he has to learn Sheall your names.”
As I headed back to Trey, Jo approached, puffing out her chest and standing as tall as she could. “What’s your name?” she said, sizing him up. I swallowed a chuckle, and watched as Trey bent down and extended his arm to her. Wow, I’d never have guessed he’d to do that, ah, ever. Man it was—gulp—sweet.
“I’m Trey. Who are you?” “Jo.”
Karl, eyeing Trey up from across the room yelled, “Do you play basketball?” Trey looked at him. “I do.” “And do you lift weights?” “At the gym.”
Shannon, Jo’s friend, much shyer but trying to follow in her friend’s footsteps, tugged on Trey’s arm. From where I was standing (five feet away) it looked like she was shaking, too. “So you’re strong enough to lift, um, Steve?” she said and pointed to the biggest kid in class.
Jo shook her head. “Of course he could do that. He could probably lift SteveandDaniel.”
With gaping eyes, Shannon looked up at Trey. “Is that true? Could you really do that?” Trey laughed, and it echoed around the gym. “Sure I could.” He moved towards me. “I could even lift this guy.” He slapped a hand on my shoulder. Then said quietly, “Do you believe me?”
Of course, with such keen little ears around, some kids heard it, starting a debate. Half thought he could, and the other half didn’t believe it.
“So, do it then!” Trey grinned like they’d made his day, and— shiiiit!—I was hanging over his shoulder, my face inches from his ass. “Put me down!” I fought thumping a fist on Trey’s side. (I didn’t want the kids to think it was okay to hit people, right.)
But the kids were in hysterics. Well done, Trey. He’d managed to make himself a hero the first ten minutes being there.
After much too long upside down, the blood pounding in my ears, Trey put me down. I gave him a look that I sure hoped told him he’d pay for that.
The rest of the afternoon we spent playing a variety of games to help Trey learn everyone’s name. Favorite was throwing a ball at someone and calling their name. But I suspect—okay I was sure they liked hurtling the ball at Trey as hard and as fast as they could. The monsters. Good on them. (Ah, yeah, I joined in with their sentiment)
