He looked at Frank, fixedly, his womanly mouth curled at one corner, as if reading the hunger to know that underlay his nephew’s stoical demeanor. He scattered specifications like crumbs to a reticent deer.
—There are a pair of them, he said. Four-cylinder compound engines. Vertical coil, parallel-flow flash boiler. Firebox above the boiler coils. Honeycomb condenser with vacuum pumps and complete automatic firing. One hundred and twenty horsepower apiece.
There was a burst of drum clatter from the yard of the old Presbytère, a workman’s ragged laugh. Jeff reached for Frank’s hand, but Frank would not take it. He did not want his brother distracting him with useless tappings at his palm.
—You won’t be abandoning her, Franklin, their uncle said. There is no way that you could.
Frank caught his breath. The laughter of the workmen in the jailyard became general and merry. Down in the workshops of St. Ignatius he could hear the chiming hammers of a coffin being nailed.
—My poor boy, Sir Thomas said. You must accept that I am all the family you have left.
—That’s a lie!
—Come aboard the Tir-Na-Nog, Frank. And one day we shall sail her straight to the moon. To Venus or Mars.
Frank craned his head to try to catch a glimpse of the pale Presbytère; he envisioned his father waving from one of its stone window ledges, putting on a jaunty smile, saluting him. But all he could see was the high bell tower of St. Ignatius, part of a spike-topped stone wall, a rounded stucco corner of the prison, a dusty brown patch of tamped earth in the prison yard, a pair of colored workmen leaning on the handles of two pickaxes.
—Stay if you will, then, his uncle said curtly. He gave a signal, and with a jerk the basket rose off the pitted zinc of the roof.
—Frank!
Jeff threw himself against the side of the basket and tried to climb out, wild, in tears for the first time since the night of Custer’s surrender. He managed to get one leg over the side. Sir Thomas caught him by the collar and hauled him back in.
—Frank!
Frank remembered the promise he had made to his father; surely to have broken it would be the greater abandonment.
The basket dragged, skipping, along the roof, and snagged against the cornice. In the instant before it would have freed itself and started upward, Frank crossed the roof and threw himself headlong into it, landing in a heap at his uncle’s feet. He stood up, steadying himself. He wiped his hands against the knees of his patched cadet’s uniform, and looked levelly at his uncle.
—You’re a liar, he said. There is no atmosphere in interplanetary space.
Then he could see the bare tree, the scaffold, the platform with its neat square trapdoor. Sir Thomas gathered Jeff into his arms, and covered his face, hooding his eyes with his great hands.
—We’re all liars, Franklin, he said. We lie, and then we wait and hope for time and hard work and the will of God to make us honest men.
They bumped up through the hatch of the Tir-Na-Nog, into the dark innards of her gondola. Strong arms hauled them from the basket. They were set on their feet in a bright room, trimmed in brass, paneled all around with windows and the glass faces of gauges.
Sir Thomas Mordden took a yachtsman’s cap and settled it onto his head.
—London, sah? said the helmsman.
The captain of the Tir-Na-Nog nodded, his smile wistful and aimed curiously at his nephews. He might have been picturing them alighting, one day, on the dark red sand of Mars.
—At present, he said. Yes, London will do for now.
LOOK FOR THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF THE MARTIAN AGENT, “THE INDISTINGUISHABLE OPERATIONS OF EMPIRE AND FATE,” IN MCSWEENEY’S SECOND MAMMOTH TREASURY OF THRILLING TALES.
SHERMAN ALEXIE lives in Seattle with his wife and two sons. He writes poetry, short stories, novels, and movies.
AIMEE BENDER lives in L.A. and is the author of two books: The Girl in the Flammable Skirt and An Invisible Sign of My Own. She read her first Agatha Christie mystery in eighth grade and practically dropped the book on the floor when the twist got revealed, it was so amazing.
MICHAEL CHABON is the author of two story collections and four novels, most recently Summerland, a novel for children.
DAN CHAON’s story collection Among the Missing was a finalist for the National Book Award. He lives in Cleveland, with his wife and children, and waits.
MICHAEL CRICHTON was born in Chicago in 1942. He lives in Los Angeles.
DAVE EGGERS has written two books and four songs.
HARLAN ELLISON has written and edited more than seventy-five books and approximately 1,700 short stories, scripts, essays, and reviews. He is the winner of eight World Science Fiction Hugo Awards, three Nebula Awards, and five Bram Stoker Awards.
CAROL EMSHWILLER has two books just out from Small Bear Press: The Mount and Report to the Men’s Club and Other Stories. She lives in New York and California, and teaches an adult education fiction class at NYU.
KAREN JOY FOWLER is the author of three novels and two short story collections. Her most recent novel, Sister Noon, was a finalist for the Pen/Faulkner award. She lives in Davis, California.
NEIL GAIMAN has written approximately twenty graphic novels, three nonfiction books, four adult prose-only books, and two children’s books. He has won the Hugo Award, the Bram Stoker Award, the Locus Award, the World Fantasy Award, the Mythopoeic Award, and several Eisners.
GLEN DAVID GOLD is the author of the novel Carter Beats the Devil. A strapping man with a square jaw and windswept teeth, he stands in splendid proportion: five foot nine inches in height, some of it churning with muscle.
NICK HORNBY is the author of five books. The most recent, Songbook, was published by McSweeney’s in December.
LAURIE R. KING has lived a life of crime since the publication of A Grave Talent in 1993, having come from a life of academic theology. Her thirteenth novel, Keeping Watch, is out in March.
STEPHEN KING’s most recent book is From a Buick 8. He divides his time between Maine and Florida.
ELMORE LEONARD is the author of many books, including Rum Punch and Cuba Libre. He lives outside Detroit.
KELLY LINK’s short stories have won the World Fantasy Award, the Tiptree, and a Nebula. Her collection, Stranger Things Happen (Small Beer Press), was a Salon Book of the Year and a Village Voice Favorite. She currently lives in Brooklyn with her husband, Gavin J. Grant, coedits the zine Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet, and is working on Trampoline, a forthcoming anthology of fantastic fiction. She once won a trip around the world.
RICK MOODY is the author, most recently, of Demonology and The Black Veil.
MICHAEL MOORCOCK is the author of the science fiction series Elric, as well as other cycles of books. He has won the British Fantasy Award multiple times, as well as the World Fantasy Award for his novel Gloriana.
CHRIS OFFUTT is the author of No Heroes, Kentucky Straight, Out of the Woods, The Same River Twice, and The Good Brother. He lives in Iowa City, Iowa.
JIM SHEPARD is the author of six novels, including, most recently, Nosferatu and the forthcoming Project X, and two collections of short stories, including the forthcoming Love and Hydrogen. He teaches at Williams College and in the Warren Wilson MFA program.
This Book Benefits 826 Valencia
Open since April of 2002, 826 Valencia helps Bay Area students, 8 to 18, with their writing skills, on a one-on-one basis. The idea when 826 opened was simple, and is still simple: It was our belief that students could benefit greatly from having experienced tutors give their full attention and expertise to their writing work. In an era when classes of thirty-two or more students are not unusual, overburdened teachers cannot possibly get all their students—particularly those with special needs—caught up with their writing skills. So the tutors at 826 Valencia step in to help teachers and students bridge the gap.
Because we have a paid staff of just one—our director Ninive Clements Calegari—we rely heavily on volunteers to make what we do
possible. Thankfully, the Bay Area is home to a generous group of writing and editing professionals; at press time, we had a volunteer corps of 267 tutors. Our numbers enable us not only to host students at our Mission District location, but also to send tutors, in almost whatever numbers are requested, into public schools, to work with teachers on projects of their design, and for whatever duration needed.
There’s a lot more to say, and already we’re running out of room. Briefly: we also offer free workshops, at least one a day, covering everything from SAT prep to playwriting to digital filmmaking to broadcast journalism; we offer scholarships, three a year, $10,000 each, to matriculating seniors from public schools; we help young authors design, edit, print, bind, and self-publish their own books; and we just started something we’re calling—and we do need to make the title a little catchier—the 826 Valencia Teacher of the Month Award, a $1500 award going every four weeks to an exceptional local teacher, nominated by their fellow educators and students. Lastly, our building is home to a store that sells supplies to working pirates. You really have to visit sometime.
This collection is a benefit project for 826 Valencia. Though McSweeney’s takes care of most of the costs of running 826, we can always use more help, and McSweeney’s issue 10, copublished with Vintage Books, is providing us a needed boost. For more information, please visit www.826Valencia.com, or come see us in San Francisco, on Valencia Street, between 19th and 20th Streets. —D.E. & N.C.
THIS HAS BEEN ISSUE 10 OF MCSWEENEY’S.
THERE HAVE BEEN NINE BEFORE.
THERE ARE FORTY-SIX TO COME.
McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern continues to publish on a roughly quarterly schedule, and each issue is markedly different from its predecessors in terms of design and editorial focus. Some are in boxes, others come with a CD, still others are bound with a giant rubber band, and perhaps someday an issue will be made of glass.
Past issues have included writers such as Doug Dorst, Courtney Eldridge, A.G. Pasquella, Sheila Heti, Ben Greenman, Sean Wilsey, David Foster Wallace, Zadie Smith, Michael Chabon, Lawrence Weschler, Denis Johnson, Jonathan Lethem, Chris Ware, William T. Vollmann, Lydia Davis, Arthur Bradford, J.T. LeRoy, A.M. Homes, Gabe Hudson, and Kevin Brockmeier. To subscribe, please visit www.mcsweeneys.net/subscribe.
WE ALSO PUBLISH BOOKS. SOME RECENT TITLES:
NICK HORNBY — SONGBOOK
A collection of essays about the songs Mr. Hornby loves, accompanied by a compact disc containing some of those very same songs. From the author of High Fidelity.
SHEILA HETI — THE MIDDLE STORIES
Wildly acclaimed in Canada, The Middle Stories is a striking collection of stories, fables, and short brutalities that are alternately heartwarming, cruel, and hilarious.
STEPHEN DIXON — I.
The long-awaited novel from the two-time National Book Award finalist, I. is a searingly powerful and deeply personal novel that explores the realities of a couple aging together and the limitations of memory.
MARCEL DZAMA — THE BERLIN YEARS
Marcel Dzama is a young Canadian artist who might very well change everything we know about art that involves alligators and men in bear costumes holding guns.
www.mcsweeneys.net
First Vintage Books Edition, February 2003
Copyright © 2002 by McSweeney’s Publishing
“Goodbye to All That” copyright © 2002 by The Kilimanjaro Corporation
Illustration for “Goodbye to All That” copyright © 2002 by Kent Bash
Other interior illustrations copyright © 2002 by Howard Chaykin
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright
Conventions. Published in the United States by Vintage Books, a division
of Random House, Inc., New York.
This collection was also published in slightly different form as Issue #10, No. 1,
Winter 2002–3, McSweeney’s Quarterly, San Francisco.
Vintage and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
McSweeney’s mammoth treasury of thrilling tales / edited by Michael Chabon.—
1st Vintage Books ed.
p. cm.
1. Short stories, American. I. Chabon, Michael. II. McSweeney’s.
PS648.S5M39 2003
813’.0108—dc21 2002192265
www.vintagebooks.com
www.randomhouse.com
eISBN: 978-0-307-42682-6
v3.0
McSweeney's Mammoth Treasury of Thrilling Tales Page 52
