by Liza James
Copyright © 2020 by Liza James
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Editing and Proofreading: Amy Briggs
Cover Design: Cassie Chapman with Opulent Swag and Design
Contents
Trigger Warning
BLURB
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Also by Liza James
About the Author
Trigger Warning: This book confronts several issues that could be potential triggers. Genuinely, there are SEVERAL so I’m placing a general blanket trigger warning over this. Sexual scenes are also written in explicit detail. Please be aware before stepping into this world. Recommended ages 18+
Aura
This wasn’t the life I was meant to live.
No, I should be working on solidifying my ladder of ascension.
No matter what the cost or what I had to give up.
No matter what they made me do.
Their little wildflower, that’s who I am. Quiet, meek, gullible.
Until I met the one person who changed all of it and became something more.
She’s my filthiest secret.
And one I intend on taking to the grave.
Ruby
Another night at the club I work at—Pandora’s Box.
Another dance, another tease, another round of shots and callously thrown dollar bills.
Until her.
Until the energy shifted and one moment became the only thing that mattered.
Because she changed everything, claiming my attention and making it hers.
My dangerous little mistake, my favorite enticing regret.
My Vibe Girl.
Because of my Mystery Girl. You changed my life when I needed it most.
Spotify Playlist
It’s the start of a new week. Sundays are important for my family, for my community, for The Nation.
Sundays are for rest, meditation, celebration, and remembering what’s to come in the future.
We eat meat on Sundays to honor our future ascension into the City of Eden. One day, we’ll be forced to live off of the earth alone, for a brief period of time before we ascend. Until then, we spend six days of the week eating a vegan lifestyle, cleansing and purifying our bodies until Sunday. Then we partake in the flesh as a way to wipe the slate clean in remembrance of what’s been prophesied. The Nation hasn’t been given the exact date, but we know it’s coming. We have faith that it’s coming. Because the Omega speaks to our people every day.
Well, not all of us. Only some of us, like my mom and dad—and the Absolute—Zale.
Zale has conversations with the Omega daily, and then on Sundays we gather around the biggest wooden table I’ve ever seen and commune together. Our entire colony, our Nation, joins to celebrate the fact that we’re different from everyone else.
Because we hold the truth, while others masquerade in false religion or succumb to the tempting evil of drugs and toxic gatherings. We worship and pray, we join together in holy displays of passion and love, we work for every single moment to climb the ladder of ascension which will one day, allow us to live in paradise. A utopian home of valleys and oceans, beautiful gardens, and forests filled with wildflowers. We will nourish our bodies with the absolute best, the strongest of animals and the sweetest of fruits.
When the world ends, and people begin disappearing, we will be spared from the wrath that transcends over the earth. While others burn and perish in a river of flames, we’ll be above, singing songs of power and unification. We’ll be guarded behind the Gates. Our vessels here on earth will have been cleansed and discarded while our souls continue life above all of this.
We’ll be saved. We’ll be alive. We’ll be protected.
That’s really what I want—protection. Especially now that I’m thirteen and my day of induction is upon us.
Today is a very special Sunday because it’s finally my turn to officially give myself over to the Omega. Maybe He’ll speak to me today as well, maybe I’ll finally hear his voice when I’m promised entrance into the City.
So, today, I’m sitting at the head of the table with several of my friends on either side of me. I’ve been given the biggest plate of all, a mixture of pies and soups, a steak in the center, with a few fruits and vegetables on the sides. My eyes scan over the entire feast laid out before us, every person looking like they’re practically starving for their weekly taste of meat. It’s always fresh, always prime cuts, as Zale likes to remind us before each meal.
I don’t know if they travel outside of The Nation to buy the meat at a grocery store, or if they hunt for the animals themselves. I’ve always assumed they hunt though, because my friends and I have been trained on rifles since we turned seven years old and range classes were added to our daily schedules.
“Are you ready for the ceremony, sweetheart?” My mother stands behind me, her hands drifting across my shoulders and down my arms in comfort. She’s excited for today, for me. She’s been talking about it all week, telling her friends that her only child is about to officially join The Nation of our people.
I’m excited too. I don’t know exactly what takes place during the Induction ceremony, anyone under the age of thirteen isn’t allowed to attend. But everyone raves about the ritual, saying it’s absolutely life changing. It’s freeing. Then I’ll be allowed to learn more about our belief system, about the ladder, and the holy requisites necessary for ascension.
I’ve been learning all of my life, every single day that we spend inside our colony, by practice and by eavesdropping on what conversations I can sneak into when the adults don’t think I’m listening.
My mother and I, we didn’t begin here. Malin, my step-father, found my mother when she was working at a diner. She had been straining herself over three jobs while I stayed home with our neighbor, Val. She was only six when I was born, and from what I’ve heard, her mom left us alone most of the time when she needed to get a fix from the dealer next door. But my mother didn’t have a choice, she had to work in order to pay the bills.
That’s when Malin came forward and gave my mom and I a safe haven. One night, when mom was leaving work, a man hid behind her car and then attacked her, holding a gun in her
face and demanding everything she was carrying. Her purse, her money, the earrings she wore. He didn’t know they were fake and from the clearance aisle in Wal-Mart. He wanted anything he thought might be of value.
But Malin saved her, and I’m so thankful for that. He stepped in and helped my mom when she was almost killed by evil. After that, he told her about a place he could take her, and me as well. A place where we would be cared for, where we wouldn’t have to worry about bills. We’d work at The Nation and do our part as a community rather than struggling every day in hopes of surviving.
Now we’re here, where we’ve been practically my entire life. I’ve never known my biological father and I have no desire to. He left us when my mom realized she was pregnant. He didn’t want me, so I don’t want him.
But this is home, and I’m happy here. And I think my mom is too. This is all I’ve ever known, and I couldn’t be more thankful. Because on the outside? That’s where the evil is. That’s where the sinners and wrong doers are; the rapists, and druggies, and homosexuals. They don’t get into the City like I will, they won’t be protected like I am.
“I am ready,” I say as I lean forward and pick up my fork, stabbing into the fleshy meat of my bloodied steak before I cut off a piece and chew.
Savory. Fresh. Alive.
Every single time, that’s how it is. Delicious. A holy prize gifted to our people.
“Yummy?” my mother asks, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to the side of my head.
“Always,” I reply, and then my friend Chloe dives into her own food to the left of me. One by one each person lined down the table begins eating, countless groans and sighs of delight sound around me. A few laughs slip out of our mouths and I take a moment to realize how genuinely happy everyone is.
It’s beautiful.
“Aura Valentine. Your Induction Day has arrived. Are you ready to give yourself wholly to The Nation?” Zale steps towards the opposite end of the table, dressed completely in white. Today, he wears white denim jeans and a stark white, long sleeved, button-down dress shirt.
The proper attire for The Nation is white, everything white. Purity. Class. Innocence. Truth. But it can be anything you like as long as it’s white. I’m wearing my favorite white sundress today. It hugs my waist tightly and then billows out into a big swell over my hips. My white sandals have big white daisies attached to the top as well. They were yellow, but Malin helped me paint them white so they would be appropriate.
He told me my dress looked beautiful today. That made me feel special, and a little braver for this big moment.
I set my fork and knife down on the table and lift my eyes to meet Zale’s. “Yes, I am,” I state simply, and I watch as a smile spreads wide across his lips. He nods in acceptance of my response and sits down in his seat, spreading his hands over the feast in display.
“This is for you today. This feast is a celebration of what you’re giving to The Nation. You are about to go through a journey of self-discovery, Aura. Enlightenment. Freedom. Pleasure and pain. You’ll feel all of it, give things you may not understand at first, but will be revealed when the Omega believes it’s the right time for you. You play a very important role in eyes of The Nation.” Zale stands again, lifting the golden goblet that was sitting in front of him. My heart begins racing, slamming against my chest because I’ve never seen him share this goblet with anyone. It’s large, intricately designed with beautiful sparrows and gems engraved on the sides. He drinks from it at every meal, but only him.
He walks towards me slowly, and his gaze stays steadily on mine. My mother takes a step away from me and I rely on my own strength, my own bravery, to maintain my fixed stance as he approaches.
I look beautiful today. I’m brave. I’m strong. I’m protected.
“It’s time for you to experience The Nation as we all do. As a true member who has sacrificed herself for our people, our faith. Drink, and you will be enlightened.” He holds the goblet towards me, offering me a taste of what’s inside. I’m ready, I’m excited, but a spark of nerves lick through my blood and I glance back at my mother for reassurance.
I see tears in her eyes, but she smiles. They’re happy tears. She nods and I turn back to Zale as I reach forward and take the goblet in my small hand. “Is it wine?” I ask him, hoping to prepare myself mentally in the next three seconds before I taste the red liquid for myself.
A few easy and casual laughs break out across the table and Zale gives me a friendly smile in response. “Of course, Aura. Remember, you’re protected here. You’re safe. We’re all ascending with you.”
I sigh in relief, feeling those nerves I just had moments ago, wash away as I lift the goblet to my lips. Just as I tilt the cup back, my eyes land on Malin, who is watching from behind Zale. His eyes zero in on my mouth, on the liquid I’m taking in right as the sweet flavor crashes against my tongue.
I don’t want to be greedy. Greed is a sin. So, I take one large sip and quickly hand the goblet back to Zale. The liquid slips down my throat in a mix of something fruity and bitter laced alongside it. I shake my head as it heats my stomach and Malin smiles, giving me a small wave as he turns to walk towards my mother.
“Eat, Aura. Feast on what nourishes you, what reminds you of the future and the gift you’re being given today. The ceremony will begin shortly,” Zale addresses me, a prideful tenor in voice that warms my chest before he walks back to his seat and we all continue eating.
And we do. We eat and we laugh and my mother and Malin watch from the sidelines, their arms wrapped around each other’s waists. My friends celebrate with me, jealous that I’m the one turning thirteen today while some of them go through their own ceremonies later this year, next, or even the year after that.
An hour later, the sun is beginning to set. The sky is transforming into beautiful shades of purple and pink and blue, with incredible streaks of red and green. Everything feels different. My body, my mind, my soul. I’m drifting through a high I’ve ever felt before.
My body feels light, like a feather drifting peacefully on the wind. My blood is electrified though, coursing through me in bursts of something that feels like sunshine. Literal sunshine lighting up and dancing through my body.
I’m so happy. Tears stream down my face for unknown reasons. I only know they are joyful tears and everyone around me seems just as happy as I am. Zale has been watching me from the other side of the table, encouraging me to talk and have fun with my friends.
Enchanting music plays from all around us. I don’t know where it’s coming from, we don’t use technology out here. We do learn to play instruments though, so maybe there’s a few people playing on the outskirts where I can’t see them.
Malin comes to stand at my left, he dips his head down to my side and I feel his scruffy beard brush along my jaw as he speaks to me. “Dance with me, wildflower.” His voice is dark and husky and just as he says it, little flowers literally spring up around my feet from the grass.
I gasp in surprise, and he laughs alongside me as he reaches for my hand and pulls me up from the table. “I don’t understand?” I ask as I follow him. It doesn’t even feel like I’m stepping on the ground. I feel like I’m simply drifting along the earth, being pulled by his presence as I fall into his arms.
“You don’t have to understand right now. Just enjoy it, Aura. Experience it. Let it make you feel alive. This is the beauty of The Nation. Whatever you want is right, what you’re feeling right now is beautiful. We know the truth here, we know what’s truly right and wrong, we’ve been enlightened.” His hands slide around my waist and dip a little lower. He pulls me against his chest as we dance around the grassy expanse. I love being outside. It’s so clear right now, everything feels open and inspiring and magical. I can’t explain entirely how I’m finally feeling alive.
“I love this,” I say quietly because I’m a little embarrassed at the same time. How could I have not known how truly wonderful this was? I’ve had my doubts in the past—very sma
ll ones. But quiet little pricks of worry and uncertainty at what really lies beyond all of this.
But this…this is magical. I was foolish to even entertain the idea otherwise.
Malin’s lips drop to my jaw line in a touch that sends shivers down my spine. He’s been touching me like this for years now. In a way I didn’t think was allowed but I’ve been assured it is. Even my mother says it’s okay, and I trust her above anyone else. She’s always protected me.
Besides, Malin has always made me feel good. And right now? It feels the best it’s ever been.
His hands fall lower, slipping over my bottom until he grips it tightly and pulls my hips against his erect length. He’s shown me how to touch him there, how to give a man pleasure when it’s time I marry someone of The Nation. It’ll be someone they will appoint as my head when I’m ready.
He said he has to prepare me, open me fully so I’m already equipped for what I’ll have to give to the right person. He takes my hand and brings it in between us, pressing it against him so that I know what he wants. I grip him through his white slacks, dragging my hand up and down his length even though we’re surrounded by the entire Nation. I don’t care though, I don’t care about much of anything in this moment because I’m so happy.
