Love Songs (Secret Songbook #1)

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Love Songs (Secret Songbook #1) Page 12

by Jamie Campbell


  Of course, there had been no guarantee their relationship would take off, but at least she had a chance. Now she had nothing. One date that was nice but didn’t even end in a kiss. It was hardly something to blog about.

  She said goodbye to Harvey and opened the front door. It was locked, at least she would have some time to herself before her parents arrived home. Mother Barbie would hound her until she heard every detail about what had upset her. She didn’t need that right now. She went straight for her bedroom, she needed some therapy.

  Picking up her guitar, Kaley sat on the edge of her bed. She glanced over at the window, Harvey wasn’t in his bedroom yet, she didn’t have an audience. Good, she needed to be alone right now.

  She started strumming, unsure where her rhythm was going to go. The vibrations of the strings coursed through her, reminding her how right the instrument felt in her hands. They were one entity together, no separation between her and the guitar.

  She started humming along, trying to put everything out of her mind and just think about the music. Her humming turned into words, flowing from her like they had been trapped inside and now released.

  You were just what I was looking for,

  The one whom I awaited.

  You were too perfect for words,

  I should have known better.

  Images of Eli popped into her head, the way he had laughed on their date and his eyes sparkled. The way he leaned in close when he wanted to say something for only her ears to hear. The way his cheeks dimpled when he smiled.

  He really was the one she had been waiting for, if only he had realized it. Perhaps he wouldn’t have thrown her away like something that didn’t matter.

  Someone had already won your heart,

  But I doubt she even knows,

  How incredibly wonderful you are,

  But you already chose.

  Abigail didn’t even deserve Eli, why couldn’t he see that? She was a manipulative princess who would never treat him like she would. Abigail would always take him for granted, she didn’t know what a great person she had.

  Does she see the dimple in your cheek

  And want to steal it away?

  Does she hear the cute way you laugh

  And want to hear it every day?

  Does she feel the strength in your arms

  And know your fears he’ll allay?

  It was so depressing thinking about what she had lost. When she thought about Eli now, she couldn’t help but think of Abigail. Before that stupid dance decorations committee meeting, she could imagine they had never been together in the first place.

  I know you’re with the wrong girl,

  She doesn’t treat you right.

  You have to change your mind, honey,

  I’m not going to give up the fight.

  Just say that I’m your choice,

  And everything will be alright.

  That’s all he had to do, choose her and everything would be better. Perhaps not for Abigail, but she would find someone within the hour to boss around and treat like dirt. The solution was so simple, Eli just had to choose Kaley.

  Simple.

  Sure, it was.

  You look at her,

  The way I want you to look at me,

  With so much affection,

  But she never takes the time to see.

  For the first time since lunch, Kaley let the tears fall down her cheeks. When she was alone in her room with her guitar, it was safe for her to be herself. And right now, she was so sad she needed to cry. The teardrops landed on her guitar, but she didn’t stop strumming to wipe them away. They would dry on their own eventually.

  I think the answer is crystal clear,

  It’s staring you right in the face.

  All you have to do is ditch her,

  And then come around to my place.

  I’ll hold you in my arms so tight,

  I’ll accept triumph with such grace.

  So just go ahead and do it,

  I want to win this race.

  She let her fingers run over the strings on their own when she ran out of words. She had told her story, she had vented her sorrow. Now it was time for the simple melody to convey what she couldn’t vocalize.

  Somehow, the slow notes could say more about how she felt than any lyrics. She let her fingers do the talking and felt the way it healed her. The smooth rhythms repaired her heart like nothing else on earth could.

  It was like magic the way it worked.

  She reached the end of the song and let her hands rest, using them to wipe at her tears. Despite the wet eyes, she felt better, so much better. She had told her story, even if nobody would ever hear it.

  They were too personal for others’ ears anyway. Just one verse would reveal more about her than she would like. They were private details of her personal journey, definitely not for an audience.

  Pulling out her songbook, Kaley wrote down as much of the song as she could remember. At times, having to replay the song from the start to try and prompt her memory.

  She liked the way the song flowed, the way the musical notes danced across the pages. If only everything could be as easy as her music, her life would be so much better. Not only better, but soul-wrenchingly great.

  As Kaley was putting the last treble clef into her song, her cell phone rang. She didn’t even bother with checking the caller ID, no doubt it would be Harper. Nobody rang her besides Harper.

  “Hey, Harper,” she sighed.

  There was a pause on the line before a male voice said: “Kaley? It’s not Harper.”

  Her heart stopped, she hit her forehead and wished she could recall her words. She should really start checking the caller ID. “Hi, Eli. Sorry, I was expecting a call from Harper.”

  He laughed. Normally that would be a good thing to Kaley, but not now. She remembered Abigail and the way Eli was probably using her to get back at his ex. She didn’t want to hear him being happy.

  “What do you want, Eli?”

  “I was calling to see how you are and ask if you’re ready for that second date yet?”

  Kaley was confused – and torn. She hadn’t been prepared for him to call, nor even speak to her again. She didn’t know what to ask that would reveal if he was lying or not. She didn’t know whether this was all still part of his plan.

  “I don’t know, Eli. I haven’t heard from you all week. I didn’t know if you were still interested.”

  “Sorry, I’ve been so busy. I should have called sooner. Forgive me?”

  “I guess,” she muttered. Perhaps she could forgive him for waiting so long to call, but that’s where she drew the line. She needed to know if he needed forgiveness for anything else – like using her.

  “So how about this weekend? If you don’t have any other plans, I would really like to take you somewhere. I’d make it worth your while.” His voice was so happy, so light. Surely she couldn’t be talking to the same person she had just written a song about?

  Then she remembered – he didn’t know she knew about his plan. If he did, perhaps he would be a little upset too – not like the guy from the song. She couldn’t think clearly enough to speak with him, she needed some time to process everything.

  “I think I need some time before I give you an answer. Can I take a raincheck for now?”

  Eli hesitated, taken aback. He obviously wasn’t used to rejection, especially not from the female kind. “Sure, take all the time you need. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

  “Great, thanks.”

  “I guess I’ll talk to you again soon. Have a good night.”

  “You too, bye.” Kaley hung up, clinging to her phone as she wondered whether she had just done something really stupid.

  If Eli hadn’t used her to get back at Abigail, she had probably just ruined something with the potential to be great. She hoped she didn’t make a huge mistake.

  She threw her phone in her handbag and put away her guitar, she had done enough thinking for o
ne night. Now, she wanted to sit in front of the television and get lost in someone else’s dramas. At least she wouldn’t mess up anything then.

  Chapter 13

  The music filtering through the audience from the stage was so melodic that Kaley could get lost in it. The piano keys tinkled with the notes, all perfectly in order and harmonious.

  Mr. Doherty’s fingers were dancing across the ivories like they were on fire and had to run away from the flames. Even he was lost in the music, the audience did not exist in his reality. The only thing in his world was the piano and the sounds it made.

  Listening to her music teacher, Kaley was lost too. She could barely believe how lucky she was that the man playing on stage was the one that had taught her everything she knew about the piano.

  No wonder she could play so well when she had to live up to his talent. But still, she had nothing on Mr. Doherty. He would always be a million times better than her, especially in her eyes.

  Kaley was at the piano concert by herself, there by personal invitation from Mr. Doherty. He was also invited to be there, by the Sandyridge Classical Music Hall Society. They encouraged him to put on a performance at least twice a year. If they had their way, he would do it once a month.

  Once, he would have done. However being seventy-three years old, he couldn’t afford to exert himself too much. He didn’t even teach anymore, having given that up many years ago.

  Looking around at the other audience members, Kaley could see the happiness on their faces. Listening to Mr. Doherty playing the piano was like listening to the kind of music she imagined they would play in heaven. If he had a harp to accompany him, it would probably be spot on.

  The way the notes carried and echoed through the music hall reverberated with perfect pitch. Kaley was in awe of his performance, hoping she could be even half as good as him one day.

  She closed her eyes and let the music overtake her. She imagined what it would be like to be the one on stage. She wondered if she would be able to move the audience like he could, if the songs she wrote would make them so happy.

  It would be absolutely awesome if she could.

  Kaley instantly dismissed the idea. As good as it would be, she could never perform in front of others. And her songs would never be that good either, they were for her ears only.

  The final note sounded, lingering in the air. As Mr. Doherty stood and took his bow, the silence was replaced with the sound of a hearty applause. People leaped to their feet as they showed their appreciation for the music. Kaley did too, her hands clapping harder than any of them.

  Mr. Doherty gave one final bow, a wave, and then exited the stage. The audience started to shuffle off toward the doors, too. Kaley headed for the stage entrance.

  There was no security at the Sandyridge Music Hall. They had never had anyone important enough to need protecting. Classical music fans didn’t tend to want to rip their idols to shred, they much preferred a nice cold champagne afterwards.

  Kaley went right on through, meeting Mr. Doherty in his dressing room where he was waiting for her.

  “There you are, Miss Kaley.” He stood and gave her a hug. “How did you enjoy the show?”

  “It was fantastic, Mr. Doherty. I could listen to you play all day.”

  “Liar,” he admonished and grinned, his face creasing into a million wrinkles. “Sit down, sit down. I haven’t seen you in so long, I need to know what you’re up to these days.”

  They both took a seat in front of the makeup mirror that was surrounded by light globes – just like in the movies. It added a glamorous feel to the otherwise boring beige room with two chairs and a dusty sofa.

  “I’ve just had school stuff to do, nothing interesting.” Kaley shrugged, she wasn’t about to bother him with all her boy troubles. She would never talk about them with Mr. Doherty, they were too trivial.

  “What about your music then? I hope you have been practicing like you promised?”

  Kaley nodded, happy to be able to report the truth. “All the time. I alternate between the piano and the guitar.”

  “That’s what I want to hear. And how about your songwriting? Last time we spoke you said you had a whole book full of songs.”

  “It’s going well. I’ve added quite a few lately.”

  Mr. Doherty looked pleased, proud of his little protégé. Music was his gift to the world and there was no-one more deserving than Kaley. He was so glad he had the opportunity to teach her. He bragged to all his friends about his sixteen year old mini-me. “What’s inspired you so?”

  “Life, I guess. It’s not easy being a teenager, you know,” she joked. “I have a lot of ups and downs.”

  “Every moment in life is an inspiration, be it good or be it bad. You should be thankful for each and every one of them. If you didn’t experience the rollercoaster of life, you wouldn’t be the person you are today. And the beautiful young woman sitting in front of me is definitely someone to be proud of.”

  Kaley beamed, she had this inexplicable need for his approval. It was what pushed her so hard to learn the piano. She would practice for hours every day until she could play the week’s homework perfectly before their next lesson. She never could work out why she tried so hard, but she couldn’t disappoint Mr. Doherty.

  “Thank you.” She blushed. “But it was really your lessons that got me started.”

  “So when am I going to hear all these wonderful songs?”

  “Never. I don’t write them to perform for people, I just have to get them out of my head.”

  Mr. Doherty pursed his lips, not having a bar of it. “That’s not the right answer, Miss Kaley. You have a talent, a gift, you should be sharing it with others. If you are feeling these emotions and you play them in your songs, you will connect with people. They will find themselves in your lyrics. You can’t keep them hidden.”

  “I can’t perform them, they’re too personal. It’s just a way for me to vent what’s going on in my life. That’s all.”

  “That’s what has inspired every song ever written,” Mr. Doherty sighed. “That’s the beauty of music, it resonates between us all. When I play the piano, I’m not speaking a language only we can understand. I’m speaking a language that every person in the world can understand. The piano is my voice. You need to find yours too.”

  Kaley let the words sink in. The way he described his music was something so beautiful that he brought a smile to her lips. She understood perfectly what he meant.

  Music broke down all barriers, it was something anyone in the world could enjoy be they rich, poor, black, white, Christian, Muslim, old or young. When people played music, they didn’t have accents.

  All these words however, did not mean she could perform her songs in front of others. She couldn’t even play them for her parents or friends, let alone complete strangers.

  “Find your voice, Kaley. When you do, you’ll be able to share your songs with the world.”

  “Thanks, Mr. Doherty. I’ll keep that in mind.” It certainly gave her something to think about, anyway. Perhaps in the future, way into the future, she would find her voice and have the confidence to perform. But not yet and definitely not now. “So are we going to get some dinner or what?”

  “Only if it’s a burger. I could really use a burger right now.”

  “Burger it is.”

  Kaley stood and looped her arm through Mr. Doherty’s. They left the beige dressing room and walked through the labyrinth of hallways to reach the street.

  She noticed Mr. Doherty was walking with a limp and he seemed to be a bit breathless as they moved. She slowed her pace, hoping he wasn’t overdoing it. He was a difficult man to keep still.

  Chapter 14

  Kaley could feel eyes on her, despite the fact she was lying in bed and apparently asleep. She wondered who was in her bedroom so early in the morning, it had to be only about six o’clock.

  She hoped it wasn’t Mother Barbie with some big plan for the day, a family outing that would be sure
to be boring and long. She kept her eyes closed, hoping they would go away, whoever they were.

  The eyes still bore into her, she could hear them moving about the room. They were trying to be quiet but not succeeding. Perhaps they were waiting for her to wake up so they could spring on her.

  She didn’t think it would be Strom, he didn’t tend to linger in her bedroom. Her father was more to the point, he probably would have shaken her awake if he needed her for something.

  The curiosity was getting the best of her, Kaley opened one eye. She did it slowly, hoping to be able to get a glimpse and then decide whether she wanted to continue pretending to be asleep or not.

  She risked the glance.

  It wasn’t just one person in her room, it was two. And they had seen her peek, it was too late.

  “What are you two doing here?” she moaned. Harper and Harvey looked down at her, one on either side of the bed.

  Harper was way too excited for such an early hour. “We’re taking you out for the day, we have everything planned.”

  “We’re going to cheer you up,” Harvey added.

  “What’s the time?”

  “Nine.” Harper tapped her watch to reinforce the point. “Time you were getting up. You don’t want to waste the day in bed, sleepyhead.”

  Kaley pulled the covers over her head, Harvey promptly pulled them down again. “Go away, it’s too early,” she groaned. “I don’t want to go out today.”

  “Well you don’t have a say in the matter,” Harper said matter of factly. “We have spent a great deal of time making plans and you’re not going to ruin them. Come on.”

  They each grabbed an arm and pulled her into a sitting position. She let herself go freely, not having the will to fight.

  She would prefer to hide in her room and brood about Eli all day, she didn’t particularly need company for that. However she knew Harper wouldn’t be changing her mind anytime soon. Plus, she had Harvey for backup. When the two forces combined, they were near unstoppable.

 

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