The Nanny and Me

by Teresa Southwick

  The intense expression in his eyes wasn’t exactly employer-employee relationship-friendly. It was more approachable, and then some, tearing down any obstacles that stood between. She didn’t claim to be an expert in the field, but even she could see it was similar to the way he’d looked before kissing her.

  And how he could kiss. But since then she’d found out his wife had cheated on him with his best friend. She’d been warned.

  She knew why he didn’t do personal relationships, why he wouldn’t commit. That was important for her to know in case she was tempted to kiss him again. Like now. They were just beginning to make headway with Mia. Why jeopardize it by pursuing something doomed to go nowhere?

  He stuck his fingertips in the pockets of his worn jeans. “I just want you to know that I’ve noticed.”

  Right back at you, she thought. But probably what she had noticed wasn’t what he meant. “Speaking of your parents and Mia, we should probably go see what’s going on.”

  “You mean be Switzerland?”

  She smiled. “Just in case.”

  In the sitting room there was a big stack of albums on the coffee table. Patricia was sitting on a love seat in front of the fireplace, with Mia beside her and Lincoln resting on an arm.

  “Here’s one of your mother at just about your age,” Patricia was saying.

  The girl pointed to the picture. “Is that Uncle Blake by the pool?”

  “Yes.” The older woman laughed. “This was snapped just before April pushed him in.”

  Mia glanced up and grinned at Blake. “You were beaten by a girl.”

  He walked over and sat on the other arm of the love seat, the one closest to Mia, so he could see the photo. “I remember that. She caught me by surprise.”

  “Yeah. Right,” Mia said.

  “She was such a mischievous child,” Patricia said wistfully. She glanced at the girl beside her. “You look a lot like her, Mia.”

  “You said that before.”

  “And now you can look at the pictures and decide for yourself.” Patricia turned the page. “Here’s another one of April and I swear it could be you. There’s a very strong resemblance.”

  “I guess.” Mia turned the page. “How old was she when this one was taken?”

  Casey watched the Deckers pore over the family photos and felt good. Really good. Maybe Blake was right about her coming into their lives at just the right time. She’d wanted to turn down the job, not break her personal rule about kids of a certain age. But this was a good day with a positive outcome. She’d convinced Mia to meet them halfway for this moment in time. Would another nanny have been able to connect? She would never know.

  Just like she would never know what connecting with Blake would be like. He wouldn’t go there. And if he did, she’d be a fool to go there with him.

  Blake opened one of the sliding glass doors connecting his bedroom to the terrace and stepped outside. It was a beautiful August night and the breeze that skipped over the lighted pool water picked up a little coolness. It was after midnight and he had a busy schedule the next day. Nowadays he had to cram the same work into fewer hours in order to make it home for dinner. He should get some sleep. If he could, he would, but thoughts of Casey wouldn’t leave him alone long enough to rest.

  There was a movement from one of the sliding glass doors on the other side of the terrace, near the room where she slept. And suddenly there she was. Casey. Speak of the devil…Although the way the moonlight turned her blond hair silver made her look more like an angel.

  She was wearing pink cotton pajama bottoms and a thin-strapped, very un-angel-like white knit top that clung to her small breasts like a lover’s hands. The image was sexy as hell—and not one he’d ever expected to have of a nanny.

  But that was before he’d hired Casey.

  She moved farther onto the terrace and stopped by one of the green wrought-iron patio tables, resting a hand on one of the matching chairs. Staring out at the lights of the suburbs intersecting with the glitz of hotel-casinos, she let out a deep, sad sigh. He wasn’t sure what made him characterize it as sad, except that her shoulders slumped and she was frowning. He’d grown accustomed to her smile, spirit and sass, and missed them now. This introspective side of her made him even more curious.

  If Blake was as smart as everyone thought, he’d go back inside before she realized she wasn’t alone. When he took a step out of the shadows and into the bright moonlight, some part of him knew his brain wasn’t the organ responsible for the decision.

  “Casey?”

  She gasped and pressed a hand to her chest as her gaze swung in his direction. “Blake. Good grief, you startled me.”

  “Sorry.”

  She stared at him for several moments, catching her breath. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  He shook his head. “You didn’t. I just couldn’t sleep. What’s your excuse?”

  “Same.”

  “Insomnia epidemic.” He stood beside her, the sleeve of his T-shirt brushing her bare skin. “I was thinking about my folks. And Mia.” That was partly true. “I really appreciate what you did tonight.”

  “It was nothing.”

  “On the contrary. Like the song says, you were a bridge over troubled water.”

  “That’s why you’re still awake. Can’t get the tune out of your head,” she teased.

  “Nope. Not the reason.” When their gazes connected and held for a moment, a spark of sexual awareness passed between them and her eyes widened slightly, telling him she’d felt it, too.

  She leaned away, as far as she could without taking a step. Never show weakness. “I’m glad you’re happy with my work, Blake, but don’t make more out of it than I deserve.”

  “You orchestrated a photo marathon with my family and I’d say that deserves quite a bit of praise. Although, for the record, I could have done without the photographic history of my geek stage, and I plan to initiate a covert op at my earliest convenience to search out and destroy all evidence of it.”

  She didn’t laugh, which was a surprise. Normally she got his sense of humor. “In my opinion you never had a geek stage, like the rest of the human race.”

  “Right.” He was glad she didn’t think so, which meant her opinion mattered more than it should. “The thing is that somehow you convinced Mia to look at those albums with her sworn enemies. It was a miracle.”

  “Not a miracle. I’m no saint,” she argued, self-incrimination lacing her voice. “Far from it.”

  The vehemence in her protest was sincere and forceful and out of proportion to the woman he’d come to know, which meant there was something about this woman he didn’t know. “Why so hard on yourself?”

  “I don’t think I am. Just keeping it real. About myself and the job. To do it to the best of my ability, I need to achieve a level of emotional distance.”

  He could use some of that emotional distance right now, because the sight of her toned arms and smooth skin was tying him in knots. She was a striking woman. She was pretending that the commitment and drive she focused on Mia were just part of the job. But he didn’t buy it. She cared deeply, and that made her even more beautiful to him. The length of her neck, the curve of her cheek, her turned-up, freckle-splashed nose all tempted him to do what he’d promised not to do. More than taking his next breath, he wanted to kiss her—and somehow he had to distract himself.

  What had she just said? Oh, right.

  “Uh-huh,” he said. “You were very objective and unemotional when you got my niece a dog. You could have fooled me.”

  “Not being fooled is the goal.” There was a far-off expression on her face, as if she were halfway around the world. “Observation. Evaluation. Objectivity. Don’t get sucked in. I learned the lesson well in the army…” Her voice broke and she turned away.

  “Casey?” Blake put his hands on the bare flesh of her arms and felt her trembling. “What is it?”

  “Nothing.” But she was still shaking.

  It wa
sn’t like her to bring up that time in the military. Was it his teasing remark about a covert op? He’d been exaggerating, but she’d gotten specific.

  “What happened in the army?” he asked.

  She bent her head, and though he couldn’t see her face, the movement was fraught with emotion and defeat.

  “Nothing.”

  “I can tell by the way you’re trembling that it’s not nothing. Talk to me.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m fine. Just tired. I’ll be able to sleep now…” She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her go.

  He turned her and the single tear coursing down her cheek shone silver in the moonlight. “You’re crying.”

  “No, really—”

  “Don’t.” He cupped her face in his hands and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I know tears when I see them.”

  Misery was stark in her eyes. The longing to take away her pain joined with the need to taste her, and suddenly he couldn’t fight it anymore. Blake lowered his mouth to hers. The light touch was hot enough, but what really sent nuclear blast-type heat billowing through him was Casey’s soft sounds of pleasure and surrender.

  A heartbeat later his ability to draw in air went from zero to not enough oxygen in the universe, and Casey was breathless, too. He thought about stopping, was working up to it when she put her hands on his chest, but the feel of her touching him decimated his willpower and took rational thought with it.

  He curved his palms on her hips and drew her close as he kissed her lips, cheeks, jaw and neck. He nibbled a spot just beneath her ear as he brushed the tiny straps of her shirt out of the way and down her arms. The top pooled at her waist and—thank you, God!—she wasn’t wearing a bra. His fingers ached to touch her and in a nanosecond the soft flesh of her breasts was in his hands.

  He bent his head and drew her left nipple into his mouth and heard her sharp intake of breath as he sucked her deeper. Her breathy little moans heated his blood and sent it pounding through him, roaring in his ears. As he kissed her, they turned toward the moonlight, mining all the romance from the night. He wanted to see her in the glow of Mother Nature’s glory and lifted his head.

  And that was when he saw the red puckered scars that marred her midriff and disappeared beneath the waistband of her cotton pants. The sight was more horrifying because it was completely unexpected. He knew she felt his shock, because she tensed and a heartbeat later pulled out of his arms and turned away. Quickly she slid her arms through the straps and righted her shirt to cover herself.

  “What happened to you?” he whispered, his voice hoarse and harsh. “Don’t tell me nothing.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Maybe you should,” he said.

  She turned back and shook her head. “I made a bad call. Like now.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a long breath. “A slip in judgment. A broken promise.”

  “Yeah.” She met his gaze and there was hurt in her eyes. “Not completely your fault. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. Been doing it for a long time.”

  “I didn’t plan for it to happen.”

  “Don’t worry. I know it wasn’t like that. I’d never accuse you of anything.”

  “That’s not what I’m worried about. It’s just…” He didn’t know how to say what was on his mind. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

  “I remember. You’re anti-relationship and a woman shouldn’t expect a commitment.”

  “You make it sound like a tagline.” He settled his hands on his hips. “Just so we’re clear, I didn’t pick a career based on ripping relationships apart. I was happily married, or so I thought. I was good at negotiating settlements—assets, money, alimony, visitation agreements, kids, even dogs. Not once did anyone ever talk about the love. It’s all animosity and lots of it. The thing is, if the bitterness is that big, the love must have been, too, but no one tells you where it went. My wife struck the first blow when she slept with my best friend, but the love took a long time to die.”

  “Look, Blake, I’m not asking why. You don’t owe me an explanation. You have a past and so do I. This isn’t a good idea for so many reasons. The most important one being Mia.”

  “Oh?” His head was so messed up, he wasn’t exactly sure what his niece had to do with anything.

  “She’s making strides. Maybe that’s too ambitious. Baby steps. But I see progress and it’s not a good idea to do anything to upset that. We need to channel all our energy into her.”

  “Right. Okay.” He nodded a little too willingly.

  She cocked her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of her bedroom. “I’m going in now. Good night.”

  Moments ago he had been in heaven, but now it pretty much was hell. And he blamed himself, the lust he’d let get out of control, what with his lack of a personal life. He’d been telling himself that would get better when everything with his niece stabilized.

  He wanted to believe that what just happened was no big deal, but he’d also wanted to believe that his wife hadn’t cheated on him. He’d especially wanted to believe that his best friend hadn’t been involved. He’d been wrong then and he was afraid he was wrong now. But that didn’t put the brakes on his lust. Or his curiosity.

  The scars were evidence that something had happened to Casey, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that the damage inside her was far worse than what he could see. But she’d refused to give up her past.

  If there was one thing a divorce attorney saw over and over, it was that secrets had a way of not staying secret.

  Chapter Eight

  The day after kissing Blake, Casey continued to be appalled at how easily he’d gotten past her defenses. She had faced danger every day in Iraq and had the scars to prove it, but the fact that he could make her forget everything, including those scars while he exposed them, really scared her.

  “I miss Frankie.”

  Casey glanced over at Mia in the passenger seat of her car. After she had picked Mia up from summer school, the two of them had gone to lunch, then stopped at an office supply store for Mia’s project paraphernalia. The class would be over soon and the final assignment was a good portion of the grade. So they’d decided to dazzle the teacher with materials and color. Browsing every aisle of the warehouse-size store had been time-consuming. It was nip and tuck whether or not they would beat Blake home for dinner.

  “I’m sure Frankie misses you, too,” Casey assured her.

  “Yeah.” Mia looked worried. “But when she’s alone too long, she gets into trouble.”

  “Not unlike someone else I know,” Casey teased.

  The girl rolled her eyes. “I never got in the trash and dragged it all over the place.”

  “True.” Casey signaled a left turn into the luxury condominium complex. “And I don’t believe you’ve ever grabbed grapes from the bowl on the kitchen counter and eaten them off the floor.”

  “But she had consequences,” Mia pointed out. “Her tummy was upset, because dogs aren’t supposed to eat that stuff.”

  “Who do you think really suffered?” Casey glanced over. “Frankie did not keep that gas to herself.”

  “No, it was pretty stinky.” Mia giggled, a happy and age-appropriate sound not heard as often as it should be.

  God bless that dog, Casey thought.

  After pulling into the complex and parking, Casey noted that Blake’s car wasn’t there yet. Then Mia grabbed the white plastic bags with school supplies from the backseat and they rode the elevator up to the top floor. Even before Casey fit her key into the front door, the dog was barking a welcome on the other side of it.

  “She knows we’re home,” Mia said happily.

  Casey wasn’t so sure. Could be the dog thought they were breaking in. But when the door opened, Frankie was right there, looking up at Mia with adoring brown eyes. The girl dropped to one knee and gave her pet a hug.

  “Hi, Frankie. Did you miss me? Were you
a good girl while we were gone?”

  Casey gave them a moment and walked through the foyer and into the family room. It was hard not to gasp at the sight of Blake’s open laptop computer lying haphazardly on the carpet, with the keyboard letters scattered around. She looked closer and the damage indicated that the dog had repeatedly pawed the fragile electronic device until the keys came off. After her initial thought that this wouldn’t go over well with Blake, her next was that he didn’t usually leave the thing out. He normally used it in his study.

  Her third realization came when she heard the front door open and close. It was unfortunate that they’d spent so long picking out Post-it colors, because there might have been time to hide the evidence and break the bad news to him more gently than the visual he was going to get.

  “Hi, Mia,” she heard him say. The dog must have jumped on him, because his next words were, “Frankie, get down.”

  Casey quickly scooped up the plastic keys and tried to push the wounded computer under the coffee table. She heard footsteps on the marble floor behind her and sighed.

  “What the hell happened?” Blake’s question confirmed that her efforts were too little too late.

  She looked up from where she was kneeling in the ruins of what had once been a state-of-the-art portable computer. Now it was little more than a dog toy. Before she could answer the question, the doggy perp ran into the room and pawed at what remained of the keyboard.

  Mia followed and flopped on the floor, throwing her arms around the dog. “It’s not her fault.”

  “That’s what all the doggy delinquents say.” Blake looked furious. “That excuse is followed closely by accusations of abuse and neglect.”

  “Maybe it can be fixed,” Casey said, her heart sinking when she looked at the keys in her hand—Tab, Caps Lock, Shift and Control.

  “Fixed?” Blake asked incredulously. “There’s a better chance of negotiating a lasting peace in the Middle East.” His voice was deadly calm, too dead and too calm. He looked at Mia. “Why is it out here?”

  “I saw it here this morning. You must have been working last night and left it here,” Mia said.