For hours they drove around, checking out shopping centers close by, then widening the search. Up and down streets, some upscale, others not so much. With every minute that ticked by, he grew more anxious, less hopeful. The apprehension in his mother’s voice gnawed at him, along with her words about Mia just coming to them. There hadn’t been enough time to really know her, and Blake hated himself for not even trying.
“Let’s try that center on Charleston,” Casey suggested. “It’s not too far from downtown.”
“Okay.” Blake knew the way and took the on-ramp to Summerlin Parkway, then merged with the 95 South and headed to Charleston Boulevard.
The sun was going down and they were no closer to locating Mia. He glanced over at Casey. “What if we don’t find her?”
“We will,” she said. But the determination in her tone sounded forced.
“I’m not so sure. I don’t think I ever realized before just how big the Las Vegas Valley really is. And she’s just a little girl. It’s getting dark.”
“There are places to be safe.”
“And just as many that are dangerous when the sun goes down. Her pattern might be running away, but being easily found was also part of it. This is different.”
She looked over, her eyes huge and haunted in the muted light from the dashboard. “It just means that she’s making a point.”
As in teaching them a lesson. He prayed that a twelve-year-old girl didn’t pay the biggest price of all for that lesson.
He was hoping Casey would disagree with him. He wanted her to say his idea was way out in left field and not even remotely possible. The fact that she didn’t meant she agreed with him, and that ate away at his hope and cleared the way for fear to creep in.
“Anything could have happened to her,” he said, forcing himself to concentrate on the road.
“There’s no reason to go to a bad place.” But she didn’t look convinced.
“This is all my fault.”
“You’re good,” she said. “But not all-powerful. That would make you God and your résumé doesn’t include creating the world in six days.”
If this were any other situation, her words would have made him smile, but not now. “We’ve talked a lot about patterns and mine is failing people.”
“No, Blake.”
“Want the list?” He glanced over to the passenger seat and saw that her gaze was on him. “I failed my wife. My sister. And I’m well on my way to failing her child.”
“You took her in when she needed a place to go. You’ve given her family.”
“Yeah. Some family.”
“No one is perfect. The important thing is to try.”
“That’s my plan. If we find her.”
“We will,” she assured him.
“I’m going to hang on to that,” he promised. “Everything you’ve said is right on.”
“What do you mean?”
“You told me that we have no choice about getting involved with family.”
“I remember.”
“But there is one thing I can choose.” He glanced over and saw the question in her eyes. “Mia wasn’t the only one I let down by thinking only of myself. I let you down when I slept with you, Casey.” She started to protest but he held up a hand. “It’s the truth. I see that now. You pegged me right as an anti-relationship guy—a selfish guy. The thing is, I don’t want to fail you, too.”
“You weren’t the only one who made the decision to be close,” she whispered.
“I should have stopped it. Hell, I should never have started it.” But he wouldn’t say he was sorry it had happened. There was only so much he could take and he would never be sorry for having her just once. “Mia has to come first. It can’t ever happen again, Casey.”
After several moments she let out a sad sigh. “I know.”
And he knew the emptiness of it would be his biggest regret for as long as he lived.
Blake had told her he was turning over a new leaf, and Casey soon had proof that it wasn’t simply lip service. She’d suggested that she go with him to pick up Mia when the police called to say they had found her. He’d thanked Casey for the offer but said that his niece was his responsibility, which was good news.
And bad.
That left Casey alone in the penthouse. Not completely alone, since Frankie followed as she paced from the foyer to the family room. The dog looked anxious and confused. Casey almost smiled at the thought, because there was no overt change in the dog’s expression, but somehow she knew Frankie was worried about Mia.
Casey had been worried about the girl, too, and about Blake. Pain and heartache followed when you let yourself care. And she did, about both of them, which was exactly what she’d feared would happen if she took this assignment.
Since she’d first arrived at One Queensridge Place, Casey had struggled to convince herself it was just another assignment, and had failed miserably. Lately it had begun to feel like a family—at least what she’d always imagined a family was like.
If she wasn’t already in love with Blake Decker, Casey knew she was in serious danger of it.
But everything was different now because they’d been intimate. She still didn’t know why he’d been the one to make her take that step. Since the IED—the improvised explosive device—had blown up her world and scarred her body, she hadn’t slept with a man. More than one had tried, but no one else had touched her heart. That was more scary than a stroll through downtown Baghdad without body armor or a steel-reinforced vehicle.
It didn’t take a battalion of shrinks to tell her she was feeling vulnerable. That had been clear since her first meeting with Blake and the resulting intense reaction to him. The question now was what to do about this job, since she’d compromised it.
Before she could wrestle with a course of action, Frankie barked and raced to the front door just before it opened. Casey heard Mia greeting her pet and hurried from the family room to the foyer. The girl was in the same jeans and green knit sweatshirt she’d been wearing the first time Casey had met her, the first time she’d run away. This made number three and they said the third time was the charm. Casey hoped that was true, because the too-risky behavior had to stop.
After a quick visual examination Casey determined that there were no bruises, scrapes, cuts or any outward evidence of trauma.
“Are you okay?” Casey’s gaze jumped from uncle to niece and back again since the question was directed to both.
“She’s fine.” The look he settled on his niece was rife with anger. “She’s also damn lucky.”
“Why? What happened?”
“The cops picked her up in a particularly bad part of town with some particularly unsavory people who prostitute teenage girls.”
“Oh, no. Did you…” Casey’s heart squeezed tight. “Were they—”
“The cops got to her in time.”
“Nothing happened,” Mia said, hostility dripping from every word. Brushstrokes of boredom painted her face. But what she couldn’t know was that the fear lingering in her eyes gave away the little girl still inside her. Or maybe she did know—because she buried her face in her dog’s neck and held on tight.
Casey wanted to hug Mia close and two days ago would have without hesitating. But one night in Blake’s bed had changed everything.
“We were worried about you,” was all she said.
“Right.” Mia looked up, then stood and folded her arms over her thin chest, hunched her shoulders forward.
Obviously her body language screamed self-protection, but was that because of what she’d experienced on the street? Because of figuring out what had happened between Casey and her uncle? Or because he’d already lectured her and levied consequences for her actions?
Casey decided to fish for clues. “So you guys had a chance to talk in the car on the way back from downtown?”
“Actually, there was no conversation at all,” Blake said. “I was too angry and didn’t want to say anything without thinking it
through.”
This was new. Until now he hadn’t been emotionally invested enough to get mad. But Casey was concerned that waiting until tomorrow would mute the impact of anything he said and that they risked going back to business as usual.
“Is there something you want to say to Mia?” Casey asked, nudging him.
“Where do I start?” He ran his fingers through his hair.
Mia dropped to one knee again and put her arms around Frankie, who hadn’t left her side. “There’s nothing you can say that I want to hear.”
“Tough.” He put his hands on his hips. He was still in his black slacks and gray dress shirt, wrinkled now after hours of driving around, searching and worrying. His dark hair looked as if he’d run his fingers through it countless times and the shadow of his beard darkened his jaw. His eyes were shadowed, too, and had never looked more vividly blue than they did at this moment.
Casey’s heart squeezed tight again, but it had nothing to do with anxiety or relief, and everything to do with an intense feeling of respect and caring.
“This has got to stop,” he said.
“You got that right.” Mia glared at him.
“What are you talking about?” He folded his arms over his chest when Mia pressed her lips tightly together and slid a glance in Casey’s direction. The look said loud and clear what she thought should stop. And Blake didn’t pretend to mistake it. “I’m the adult and this is my house. I set the rules.”
“So it’s a dictatorship?”
“Darn right,” he agreed.
“You want me out of the way. I don’t get what you’re so mad about.”
“You took off and put yourself at risk. Casey and I were worried. That’s what I’m so mad about.”
“You don’t care about me,” Mia accused.
“I don’t want to care about you, kid. There’s a difference.”
Casey realized the words were brilliant, more so because the expression of concern and caring on his face underscored the message. He had protested the situation, tried his best to disconnect from this child who had nowhere else to go. In spite of everything, he did care. The best part was that Mia simply stared at him, without a bored, blistering or belligerent reply. He’d rendered her speechless.
“So, here’s the deal. You’re grounded—”
“I don’t go anywhere, anyway,” she said, suddenly finding words.
“No mall, movies or outings,” he said.
“I’m a prisoner?” she wailed.
He thought for a moment, then nodded. “That works for me.”
“This is stupid—”
He pointed at her. “Keep it up. I haven’t handed down the length of the sentence yet. But every time you say something, it gets longer. And I haven’t even started yet on taking away your phone and computer.”
The girl opened her mouth, then shut it again.
Blake nodded with satisfaction. “Wise choice. The thing is, your behavior has got to change, Mia.”
It was as if he’d been channeling her thoughts, Casey realized. This was a moment, a really good one.
He blew out a long breath. “I don’t have all the answers and I’m winging it, because I’ve never raised a kid before. What you need to know is that taking advantage of the situation isn’t an option for you. Not anymore. If you step out of line, there will be consequences. If you play by the rules, there will be rewards.”
“I’m not a dog. That’s what I do with Frankie,” Mia protested.
“Is it working?” he challenged. Her silence spoke volumes and he nodded. “Running away has got to stop. It’s another way of hiding. And it’s dangerous.”
“You can’t tell me what to do—”
“Grounded for seven days,” he said. “Maybe without TV. Care to go for two weeks?”
Mia sighed and tried to look bored and angry, but there were cracks in the facade. “No.”
“Good answer.” He tipped his head toward the hall. “Now go to bed.”
Without another word Mia did as she was told, and Frankie followed. The door to her room closed quietly, which was a minor miracle. This was the first time that had ever happened after a confrontation.
Casey looked at him. “Awesome.”
“You think?” One corner of his mouth curved up. “She scared the hell out of me, Case.”
“Me, too.”
He stared at her and she thought there was a yearning expression in his eyes. If anyone ever in the history of the world looked like they needed a hug, it was him. Casey was afraid that if she looked in the mirror, there would be a corresponding expression on her face, so she turned away.
And remembered what he’d said to Mia. Running away is hiding. How many times had she accused him of doing that? Did it take one to know one? Was she the queen of denial, putting rules on the age of the kids she cared for in order to hide from the mistakes she’d made?
“It’s late, Blake. You should get some rest.”
“Yeah.” He hesitated and the air between them was charged. For a moment it seemed like he would say something personal. But he didn’t. “See you in the morning.”
Her heart cracked just a little more when he left her alone. Since she’d broken her rules on this job, the mistakes had gotten even bigger. What was up with that? She’d crossed a line and now she didn’t know where her place was in this household. She still felt like the little girl who couldn’t manage to fit in anywhere. She cared too much for Blake to be the nanny, but he’d told her they couldn’t be more.
If it didn’t feel so much like running away, she’d have given him her notice right then. But she didn’t want to punish him for doing the correct thing. She was to blame for Mia’s behavior, and he was absolutely right to keep his distance from her.
But why did the right thing have to hurt so very much?
Chapter Thirteen
“You didn’t have to come with me to walk Frankie.” Mia’s voice was laced with resentment.
“I wanted to. The sun feels good.” Casey strolled beside Mia on the condominium complex walking path, with Frankie taking the lead as opposed to taking off, which the dog would have done if she hadn’t been on a leash.
“It’s hot. You’re only here because it’s your job to guard me and make sure I don’t run away again.”
For the last week, during which the girl had been grounded, the two of them had spent a lot of time together, but awkwardness had been like a force field between them. Maybe it was time to get it out in the open, give Mia a chance to air her feelings.
“So, you haven’t asked any questions about your uncle and me.”
Mia lifted her shoulder in a “so what” gesture. “I don’t have any.”
“You’re not a good liar, kiddo. And you’re not in the way. That’s the truth.”
“Whatever.” But Mia glanced over. “I don’t believe you’d really answer me if I asked.”
“Believe it.” Casey’s heart pounded but she tried to keep it from showing on her face.
“Okay.” Mia stopped when Frankie sniffed a tree. “So what’s between you and Uncle Blake?”
“Nothing.” Without flinching, Casey met the girl’s hostile gaze, because at this moment it was the truth.
“But there was something,” Mia persisted.
How did she answer that when nothing about her and Blake was clear? Keep it simple, stupid. “What happened that night you were at your grandparents’ was nothing more than a brain hiccup. For both of us.”
“I don’t know what that means.” When the dog pulled at the leash, Mia started walking again.
“It means that now we have a respectful working relationship that’s all about doing our best for you. Everything is back to normal.” That part was a lie, but hopefully there was still enough little girl left in Mia to believe it was possible.
Casey hadn’t had a mom to warn her that when a woman gave herself to a man, everything changed and it could never go back to the way it had been. She’d found that out for h
erself in high school—in the backseat of John Stratton’s Camaro. It had been awful and there’d been no one to talk to. Pouring out the story to her dad and brothers had been out of the question, and she’d been too mortified to confess to her girlfriends. So she’d cried alone in her room and publicly pretended to be fine.
She couldn’t even claim innocent ignorance for what had happened with Blake. She’d known if she took the step, everything would be different, but rational thought had been no match for the yearning to be in his arms.
It had happened. Now she had to deal with the collateral damage and hope that, at least for this at-risk child, things could go back to the way they were.
Mia mulled over the words for a while. “So you really are here to make sure I don’t run?”
Inwardly Casey sighed with relief that the girl didn’t seem in the mood for a cross-examination about her and Blake. They were now on to the topic that impacted Mia most—being grounded and losing her iPod.
“Actually, that’s what being grounded for the last week is supposed to do.”
“If I didn’t walk Frankie, I wouldn’t get any fresh air at all,” Mia complained. “Kids need fresh air to grow and not get curvature of the spine and stuff.”
Casey laughed. “That’s a little melodramatic. Especially since house arrest is being lifted today. Your uncle is taking you out.”
“Like I believe that.”
Casey slid her hands into the pockets of her white cotton capris. “He said he’d be home early to pick you up for dinner and a movie.”
“I repeat…like I believe that.”
“I can see why you’d be skeptical. He doesn’t have a perfect record, but he should get points for trying. Give him a break, Mia.”
The Nanny and Me Page 15
