“We’ll take care of each other somehow, won’t we, Dawn?” Danica whispered to the baby, gently brushing her hand over her daughter’s head, and moved her to nurse from her other breast. Her blond fuzzy curls were as soft as down feathers. As she studied her daughter’s petite features, the face of Jonathan Douglas materialized before her eyes. Would she always be reminded of him whenever she looked at her beautiful child? There was no denying that Dawn resembled him, but Danica refused to see her baby as anyone’s but hers. As far as she was concerned, the father had never existed.
When Dawn finally drank her fill, Danica lifted the baby to her shoulder, gently patting her back. She left the bed after buttoning her shirt, and paced the room. The few hours of sleep she had gotten had definitely renewed her spirit. It would get easier, she told herself firmly. She would be a good mother, even if she had a lot to learn.
A soft knock on the door sobered her out of her thoughts.
“Come in,” she said quietly, so as not to startle the baby. The door opened, and Josh walked in. Danica couldn’t help but stare at him. He stood tall and proud, and the lazy grin on his face and the softness in his eyes when he looked at the baby nestled against her shoulder left her feeling flushed and light-headed. His gaze lingered on Dawn for a moment before he looked up at Danica.
“I have something for Dawn,” he said.
Danica’s eyebrows rose in surprise. He turned and bent to the ground behind him. He picked up a wooden object. Danica recognized that it was a crib. Her mouth dropped open. It looked freshly carved, not something he would have found in Kyle’s home.
“Josh, when did you make that?” she asked in astonishment, and walked up to him. Her hand slid along the smooth grain of the wood. The inside was lined with a thick layer of animal fur, which he had covered with one of the soft baby blankets.
“I found the time,” he answered dismissively, his large brown hand on the baby’s back. He set the crib next to Danica’s bed, and she gently placed Dawn in it. The baby flayed her arms in the air and kicked with her legs, while staring straight up at Josh. Danica retrieved another blanket she had folded at the foot of her bed, and covered the baby with it.
“Among my mother’s people, infants are wrapped in a blanket. I’ve heard it gives them a sense of security,” Josh said.
“Okay.” It was the only word she could produce. Josh amazed her once again. She still hadn’t gotten over the shock of the crib. She tucked the blanket around Dawn as best as she could, and the baby’s eyes closed slowly.
Danica straightened her back, rubbing at her lower spine. When she looked up, her heart skipped a beat. Josh’s eyes were on her, his intense stare making her feel uneasy all of a sudden. She hastily buttoned up the last two buttons on the shirt.
“We have things to talk about, Dani,” he said slowly. Danica swallowed. He was about to tell her they would be leaving for Helena soon.
“Don’t worry, Josh,” she said, hoping her voice sounded steady. “I’ll be ready to go in a couple of days. I should be recovered by then and have my strength back.”
Josh’s forehead wrinkled, and his head tilted slightly. He took a step toward her, and reached for her hand. Danica forgot to breathe.
“We’re not going anywhere with a newborn,” he said almost forcefully. “Dawn will not leave this cabin until she is at least a month old.”
Puzzled by his words, a sudden wave of anger hit her. What right did he have to tell her when Dawn could leave the cabin?
“I don’t think it’s any of your concern when I take Dawn from the cabin, Josh,” she said, glaring at him. “The sooner we can get to Helena, the sooner your life can get back to normal, and I can get on with mine.”
Josh’s grip on her hand tightened, and Danica tried to pull away. He held firm, and took another step closer. His body heat and pure male scent penetrated her senses.
“Maybe my life is already normal the way it is now,” he said, his voice low and husky. Danica shook her head, trying to make sense of his words.
“Josh, I know you’re a man who likes to live alone. Why would you want to try and keep a woman and her baby here to disrupt your life? You said yourself you have a job to do, and you have to find those poachers. It doesn’t make sense for you to--”
Josh’s free hand reached up to cup her cheek, and he covered her mouth with his, preventing her from saying more. Danica stiffened at his unexpected move. Josh slid his hand along her cheek toward the back of her head. Her legs seemed to melt as adrenaline flooded her veins. Josh released her hand and wrapped his arm around her still much-too-large waist, pulling her up flush against him. His lips moved against hers, slowly and undemanding. She couldn’t pull away even if she wanted to. And she didn’t want to.
This is what you’ve dreamed about for so long, Dani. She couldn’t believe Josh was kissing her. It felt so much better than in her dreams. Her arms reached up and snaked around his neck, and she leaned into him. She returned his kiss with a passion that surprised her, clutching to his neck, her fingers entwining in his thick raven hair. Danica’s lips parted as his kiss grew more urgent and demanding, and the air left her lungs. Breathing became impossible. She moaned softly, and pulled him closer still.
Time stood still as Josh’s sweet assault on her mouth continued. His lips moved across hers, and Danica was sure she’d faint at any moment. He pulled away a fraction of an inch, only to plunder her mouth again. Finally, she unclasped her hands from behind his neck. She was sure she couldn’t take any more without truly passing out if she didn’t catch her breath soon. Josh must have read her intent. He pulled his head back slightly, and looked down at her. Wonder and a hint of confusion filled his eyes, and he drew in a deep breath. His thumb softly caressed her cheek.
“Haven’t I told you before that you talk too much, woman,” he whispered, his lips curving in a slow grin.
“I think you mentioned it once or twice,” Danica answered hoarsely. She pulled her hands from around his neck and stepped back. Josh eased his hold on her, but didn’t let go.
Danica’s forehead furrowed, and she shook her head slightly. “Why . . . why did you kiss me, Josh?” Her nerves were already on edge, thinking about her uncertain future. The hope that had sprung forth with that kiss was too much to think about if she had misread his intentions. Could Josh be attracted to her, even a little? It seemed impossible. After everything she knew about him, he wouldn’t choose her as a wife. Certainly not now, after everything she’s put him through in recent weeks. His entire life had been upended because of her. Danica braced herself for his answer.
“You needed kissing,” he said simply, a serious look on his face. There was no humor in his voice, no mockery. “In fact, I should have kissed you a lot sooner.”
Danica pulled out of his embrace and glared at him. “Don’t play games with me, Josh Osborne. I may be vulnerable right now, and my mind may be a bit addled after giving birth, but I know for a fact that you can’t possibly have feelings for me.”
“You know that, do you?” he countered. “According to the law, you’re my wife, Dani. Perhaps I’ve changed my mind about being married.”
Danica laughed. It was either that, or cry. Why was he toying with her emotions? Josh Osborne did not favor fair skinned women. Kate Russell had made that clear to her five years ago.
“Why would you change your mind about a wife who was forced on you?” she asked. She walked toward the window. After a quick glance out at the snow-covered landscape, she turned and took a deep breath, and raised her chin. She glared at him from across the room. “I hope it’s not because of some misguided sense of honor or obligation. Or perhaps you feel sorry for me? Don’t worry, Josh. I’ll manage on my own. I always do.”
Josh covered the distance between them in three easy strides. His hands wrapped around her upper arms, pinning them to her sides. “You’re only right about one thing, Dani,” he said softly, belying the fire in his dark glare. “Your brain is addled.” His eyes w
ere in constant motion, scanning her face.
“Then why?” she asked heatedly, refusing to let him intimidate her.
“I certainly don’t feel sorry for you. You are resourceful and highly capable, and I have no doubt you’d find a way to manage on your own. Let me ask you this,” he paused for effect. “Are you brave enough to call a half-breed your husband? Would the stigma that carries with it be too much for you to handle?” His hold on her tightened. His eyes smoldered, and his mouth was drawn in a tight line.
Danica slowly shook her head. Josh wanted her for his wife? She wondered fleetingly when this perfect dream would end and she’d wake up to reality.
“You have no interest in me. My skin and hair are the wrong color for you,” she whispered.
“You seem to know an awful lot about me,” he countered. “Perhaps I’ve changed my mind.”
“Josh,” she barely managed to say. His name escaped her lips on a shallow intake of breath. What was written in his eyes? The fierceness had left his features, to be replaced by a softness she’d seen when he held Dawn in his arms.
“Do you deny that you have feelings for me?” he asked. “You spoke words of love earlier when I carried you to my bed. Were those merely the words of an addle-brained woman?” His hands slid up along her shoulders as he spoke, causing delicious chilly sensations racing through her arms. Danica’s mouth opened in shock. She said she loved him in her sleep? Heat crept up her neck.
She couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. Her head dropped to her chest.
“Dani,” Josh put his fingers under her chin, forcing her head upward. “Deny you have feelings for me, and I’ll take you and Dawn to Helena as soon as the passes clear.”
She couldn’t openly say she loved him. Not with him standing right in front of her. Perhaps she had said the words in her sleep, but she couldn’t reproduce them now. “What about you?” she challenged instead. “I can’t be married to a man who doesn’t love me,” she said solemnly.
Josh touched his lips to hers. “What I feel for you is still a mystery to me,” he said when he pulled back. He released her arms. “For now, I’m offering you a home and a name for your daughter. She won’t be labeled as a bastard.” He ran his hand through his hair, and stepped around her to the window. “I also know that you are a brave and remarkable woman, and you’ve become more beautiful in my eyes with each passing day.”
He faced her again. Danica stared at him, her eyes wide open. “I won’t deny that I desire you.” Their eyes met and held.
Danica swallowed. Josh Osborne had just told her that he thought she was beautiful, and that he wanted her. He was offering her and Dawn his name and protection. It was more than she’d ever hoped for. Could she live with that, be his wife, even if he didn’t love her? Would it be enough?
“I need some time to think about this. When do you need an answer?” she asked quietly.
“By the time Dawn is old enough to travel. One month.” With those words, Josh cast a quick glance at Dawn sleeping peacefully in her new crib, and closed the door behind him on his way out of the room.
Danica sighed. Had she actually just told him she needed time to think about his marriage proposal? Part of her wanted to rush out of the room, tell him she’d dreamed of being his wife for five long years. Her rational side told her she didn’t want Josh tied to her because of some misplaced sense of obligation. She really did need to think about this some more.
Chapter 17
Josh squatted in front of the hearth, and absently poked at the coals in the fireplace with the metal fire poker. He tossed in some small kindling to revive the embers. A soft orange glow erupted from the small twigs and he added larger logs, watching the bright flames lick at the wood. Quickly, the warmth from the fire matched the feelings in his heart. He pushed his hair out of his face.
I can’t be married to a man who doesn’t love me. She hadn’t said she couldn’t be married to a half-breed. The first was easy enough to remedy. Admit it, Running Wolf. You’re in love with Dani. What else could it be? He’d known how he felt about her for several days. The feeling became clear to him when he sat out in that cold barn, carving a cradle for Dani’s as yet unborn child. He hadn’t wanted to give a name to the emotion. From the time they first met, she had burrowed her way into his mind and now, his heart. Helping her bring her daughter into the world had been an extraordinary experience. The pain she had endured, and the effort it required for her to bring forth a new life left him with a deep respect for this already remarkable woman.
He hadn’t told her that he loved her. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words she needed to hear. Not yet. He had to be sure that what she’d uttered in her sleep was real. He chuckled. Her response to his kiss should have been proof enough. Hell, his own reaction to that kiss should have been enough for him to tell her he loved her.
Josh stood to his feet, the heat from the flames matching the heat in his veins. He hadn’t noticed a reaction of fear or revulsion in her when he told her openly that he wanted her. After what she had endured at another man’s hand, would she be receptive to his touch, in time? He ran his hand along the back of his neck. The sensation of her fingers in his hair lingered. His embrace and kiss certainly hadn’t scared or repulsed her. Josh inhaled deeply. He shouldn’t even think about such things. Among his mother’s people, it was taboo for a man to have any contact with his wife for a month after she’d given birth. He laughed quietly, and shook his head. He planned to honor at least part of that custom. After tasting her kiss, he wasn’t sure he could completely abstain from repeating his actions for an entire month.
Josh rummaged through his supplies, and tossed several large chunks of dried meat and vegetables in the kettle over the fire. He left the cabin with the water bucket, and scooped up some snow outside the door. He dumped some into the kettle with the meat. He was anxious for spring to arrive. Dried meat and root vegetables were becoming quite unappealing. If he were alone, he wouldn’t bother with cooking supper. Some pemmican and dried fruit or nuts was his usual fare when he was alone. His wife - he glanced toward Dani’s bedroom - his wife needed a solid meal. She hasn’t consented to stay married to you.
Josh suddenly thought of his cousin. Kyle had known instantly that Kate was the woman he would marry. Josh remembered giving him a hard time about it. Back then, and on some level even now, he couldn’t see himself as a husband and father. Dani was right. He did like living alone, and she wasn’t the type of woman who would have caught his eye in the past. How had she known all that about him? Was he being fair to her, asking her to call a half-breed husband? Animosity and hatred among whites against the Indians had escalated in recent years, especially with the wars being fought against the plains tribes further east.
Josh shook off his feelings of self-doubt. He had never cared about what people thought of him. If Dani stayed with him, it would be her choice. He would not force her decision. Could he let her go if she wanted to part ways? His eyes lingered on the closed door to her room.
While the stew simmered over the fire, Josh pulled on his buffalo robe and headed outside for the woodpile. He needed to stay busy, or else his thoughts might drive him crazy. By the time darkness descended, he finished tending to the horses, and had chopped enough wood to fill the box by the hearth several times over. A delicious smell assaulted his nose when he opened the door to his cabin. Stomping the snow off his shoes, he removed his heavy coat, and scanned the room.
Dani stood at the hearth, stirring the contents of the kettle. The sensation of warm water flowing through his limbs doused him, and settled in his chest, wrapping itself slowly around his heart. The thought that this was what he wanted to come home to every day hit him like a horse’s kick to the gut. He groaned silently, and controlled the urge to walk up to her and pull her in his arms. She turned, a slow smile on her face when their eyes met.
“Your stew needed a little help,” she said. “And I’ve made a batch of biscuits,” she added, poin
ting with her wooden spoon at the Dutch oven in the fire. “It’s about time we get some decent food around here.” Her smile widened, and Josh’s chest tightened. He kicked himself mentally for staring at her like some adolescent fool. “In return, I would like some hot water after supper so I can wash my hair.”
Josh forced his legs to move further into the cabin. “Yes, ma’am,” he said with a grin. A loud wail at that moment prevented him from giving in to his urge to sweep Dani into his arms. Both their heads turned toward the bedroom.
“I’ll get her,” Josh said, holding up a hand to indicate Dani should stay where she was.
“I’ve been reduced to a milk cow.” Dani groaned loudly.
Josh cocked an eyebrow. “You’re the best looking cow I’ve ever seen,” he said, grinning widely. His eyes deliberately rested on her chest. He ducked when she hurled the spoon she held in her hands at him. Josh felt a slight breeze as the handle barely missed his head. He quickly darted toward the bedroom, Dawn’s loud cries of protest drowning out his laughter.
“Did you hear that, pyihaa? Your mother thinks she’s a cow.” Josh leaned over, and gathered the angry, red-faced infant into his arms. He held her to his chest, supporting her little head with one hand as the baby squirmed and kicked. Her cries lessened somewhat, but Josh knew she wouldn’t be satisfied simply by him holding her. He quickly grabbed a blanket off the bed, and headed back into the main room. Looking for Dani, he stopped in his tracks. She stood by the window, her face buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking.
“Are you all right?” he asked over Dawn’s loud protests. Dani turned toward him, her tear-soaked face startling him.
“You called me a cow,” she sobbed.
Josh stood, stunned and speechless. He called her a cow? She referred to herself that way. He was only making light of that. Surely she didn’t think he’d been serious.
“Dani, our daughter is hungry,” he said matter-of-factly, holding the baby for Dani to receive. She stared up at him, wide-eyed, and her tears increased. Josh expelled an exasperated breath. What had he said now to cause her upset?
Yellowstone Dawn (Yellowstone Romance Series Book 4) Page 15
