She cringed at the thought of just how pitiful she looked; sitting atop the closed toilet seat, completely clothed, her face sweating and her hands shaking. Without saying a word, he squatted down in front of her and took her hands in his.
“You shouldn’t be doing this alone,” he scolded angrily and her heart sank. She missed her mom and dad so much. “Your family should be here. You deserve much more than suffering through this by yourself.”
She couldn’t help it; the tears formed and fell, leaving treks of moisture down her cheeks. All the years of pain, grief and guilt surged to the surface and she finally broke under the pressure. Once she started crying, she couldn’t stop. Great big, loud sobs of agony racked her weak body and suddenly she realized that both Seth and Jacob were holding her. Her baby running his hand up and down her prominently exposed backbone thanks to the harsh weight loss.
“It’s ok, Mommy,” Jacob whispered. “Uncle Seth and I will fix it,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Won’t we, Uncle Seth?”
“Damn straight, little buddy,” Seth agreed and Lucy shot him a disapproving glare over his choice of language. Momentarily at a disadvantage, she merely nodded her head and pulled her hand from Seth’s grip to embrace her son. She couldn’t leave him. No matter how bad the cancer got, no matter how badly it ravaged her body, she refused to give up. Her son needed her. Even if he seemed to be getting along with his father for the time being, there was no way she could know how their relationship would go if or when she told them.
They just may hate each other. Or worse, hate her.
The first step to fighting back was sucking it up; the pain, agony, desperation and weakness; it would all have to go. She couldn’t have her baby boy see her – the steadfast oak who’d always taken care of him, shielding him from every storm – fall apart from something he couldn’t even see.
Hugging her son a bit tighter against her side, she released him and raised her eyes to Seth.
“I can do this,” she stressed and inhaled deeply. “I have everyone I need.” She let the last part hang between them like a red flag. Seth’s eyes widened, but he merely gave a curt nod and opened his arms for Jacob.
“C’mon bud, Mom’s got this,” he murmured and led the little boy from the bathroom. “Call if you need anything,” he called over his shoulder. “Anything,” he repeated more sternly and Lucy didn’t miss his slight smirk.
“I think I can manage,” she quipped and pushed the door closed behind them.
It took a little time and more strength than she’d imagined, but she finally relieved her bladder, flushed the toilet and washed her hands. No sooner had she turned the water tap off than the door swung open and Seth stared at her in disapproval.
“You’re shaking all over and covered in sweat,” he observed. “You’re weak and shouldn’t be in here alone.”
Lucy waved her hand to dispel his nagging and moved toward him without taking her hands from the safety rails.
“I’m fine, just help me get back to bed, please,” she responded and smiled when he growled and took her arm. “I have a long way to go before I’m back to my old self, but I refuse to give up,” she admonished him. Pressing his lips tightly together, Seth merely nodded his head once and helped her back to her bed.
Seth
Seth glanced in his rearview mirror and studied the little boy napping in his booster seat. They’d stayed with Lucy until she fallen asleep – much to her dismay – Seth had suffered her wrath like a boss. Jacob wanted his mommy and dammit if Uncle Seth wouldn’t oblige him. From what he’d gathered, the kid had never been away from his mother for an extended period of time. Lucy’s brother and sister-in-law had sometimes babysat, but never overnight.
So far, mother and son had spent two nights apart. If staying up past the little guy’s bedtime allowed him some degree of comfort, then it was the least he could do.
After parking his rental, he made a mental note to get a bigger car as soon as possible and wrestled his big body across the folded front seat to extract the sleeping child from his harness of hell.
He impressed himself by making it all the way up the stairs, through the door and into Jacob’s bedroom before the boy even moved. Placing him gently on his Superman comforter, Seth set about removing the little red boots, cape and glasses. He figured letting him sleep in the blue sweat suit was harmless and tucked Jacob’s little legs under the covers.
Stepping back, he studied the sleeping child through the moonlight filtering in through his window. A paternal instinct he’d sworn he didn’t own rose to fill his chest. It both surprised and comforted him. He wouldn’t be able to play baseball forever, but he’d never given much thought to what he’d do once he retired.
Having a family certainly never entered his mind. He was still young, strong and too raring to go to think about settling down. But from the moment of Lucy’s phone call, something had shifted inside him. Sure, his first thought was of getting the gorgeous brown-eyed angel back between the sheets but the moment he’d laid eyes on her frail form and the shy, smaller, version of her, his thoughts had gone in a different direction.
“And thinkin’ is what gets you in trouble,” he mumbled to himself, and after giving Jacob one last glance over, turned to head toward the living room. A small framed picture sitting on Jacob’s dresser caught Seth’s eye and he picked it up for closer inspection.
It was a photo of Chris and Lucy, dated about seven months after Chris’s wedding. Amber stood in the background, bent over a cake and other women were lined up with plates in hand. Under closer scrutiny, Seth realized that Lucy was pregnant and the photo was taken during her baby shower.
Smiling at the glowing beauty Lucy was, he sat the picture back on the dresser and went on into the living room. Settling on the sofa, he grabbed the remote and began channel surfing for something good to watch. Even though it was a little after midnight, he wasn’t tired.
He awoke to the shrill ringing of his cell phone some time later. Realizing he’d fallen asleep, he fished around in his pocket and pulled the device out. A glance at the time showed it to be three-forty a.m. He recognized Chris’s number immediately and answered the call.
“Hey man, how’s it goin’?” Chris drawled. “Sorry it’s so late; I just couldn’t sleep and wanted to check on Lucy. I figured you could give me a better update than the nurses.”
“She’s hanging in there,” Seth explained and did his best to tramp down the sudden anger that rose at hearing his old friend’s voice. He should have been here with his sister, not some guy she’d met a long time ago. Jacob deserved to be with family and Lucy deserved familiar people to lean on. He’d seen her discomfort at needing help to the restroom. He hadn’t minded offering that help, but he could only imagine how she felt in being forced to take it.
“Ah, I hear it in your voice,” Chris observed. “You’re pissed. Look man, I’m sorry. Neither Amber nor I could get away. Believe me, I wouldn’t have suggested Lucy call you if it weren’t absolutely necessary.”
“Why doesn’t she have any female friends?” Seth demanded and had to remind himself to keep his voice down lest he wake Jacob up. “Why is she in this godforsaken town, with a son for fuck’s sake, all alone?”
“She wanted to raise her son alone,” Chris snapped. “She was afraid someone would figure out who his biological father is. She just wanted Jacob to have a normal life.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” Seth argued. “Any man worth his salt would be lucky to have a kid like Jacob. The boy is smart, funny and talented as hell,” he stressed. “Tell me who this asshole is and I’ll have a talk with him.”
“It’s not that easy,” Chris said defensively.
“The hell it ain’t,” Seth argued more forcefully. “A man has the right to know if he has a kid, no matter who he is.” He frowned when he realized he’d sudden switched gears. First he was ready to rip the asshat apart and now he was defending this total stranger?
“Yeah, well, you s
hould talk to Lucy, I’m not going to chance my sister’s wrath,” Chris explained. “Besides, it’s her choice. Nobody forces her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”
“True enough,” Seth relented and decided to let the subject drop for the time being. He and Chris fell into the friendly banter that only best friends would understand. After about an hour they said their goodbyes with Chris promising to check back soon.
Seth ended the call and felt a ball of disgust form in his stomach. Lucy – beautiful, kind, sweet and smart Lucy – was battling a disease that ravaged her body by the hour and she cared more for her son than herself.
It wasn’t the fact that she hadn’t told Jacob’s father about his son, it was the fact that she’d protected her son from a man who possibly didn’t want him.
“Uncle Seth?” a small voice called and Seth whirled to see the sleepy-eyed, hair-tousled little boy in question standing in the doorway to his room.
“Hey little man,” Seth cooed and glanced at his watch. Seeing that it was only five a.m., he knew it was still too early for the kid to be up. Something must have woken him. “What you doing up this early?” he asked and moved toward him to scoop the boy in his arms. “You should still be asleep.”
“I had a nightmare,” Jacob murmured and buried his face in the crook of Seth’s throat. An unfamiliar feeling coursed through Seth’s body. He’d never had anyone depend on him for anything. Sure, he fulfilled his contractual obligations to the Cardinals’ every year, but beyond that, his life was all about himself and no responsibilities.
Now, after all these years, he realized that it felt good to be needed for just who he was; not his talent on the diamond, not his experience with the ladies. Lucy and her son needed the man, the flesh and blood man Seth was and that meant the world to him.
Seth wrapped his arms a bit tighter around Jacob and headed back into the boy’s bedroom. Placing him gently on the bed, he stretched out beside him. Jacob’s little fingers clenched the front of Seth’s t-shirt and this caused him to smile.
It felt great to be needed. It was a feeling he could definitely get used to.
“How about I stay with you while you take a nap?” Seth murmured and turned onto his side, extracting Jacob’s fingers from his shirt and laying his arm across the boy’s stomach.
“You won’t leave me?” Jacob asked, his voice small and hesitant.
“Never,” Seth answered with a conviction he didn’t know resided within him.
Seth decided that – Jacob willing – he’d drop the boy off at daycare later this morning and go visit Lucy alone. He wanted to talk to her about Jacob’s father and his right to know he had a son. No, it wasn’t his business, but he was making it his. He’d grown really fond of the little boy and the thought of another man in his life made Seth jealous, but the kid deserved to know his biological father.
It wasn’t that he questioned Lucy’s parenting abilities, quite the opposite. The woman was phenomenal as a mother. Her entire life revolved around her little boy and that, itself, was admirable.
Lucy
Lucy shuffled into her room, her I.V. stand in tow and barely made it to the bed before her knees gave out. She’d walked the entire hallway of the fifth floor three times and it had taken sheer will to make it. Her body resisted with every step. The aches, pains and weakness told her that she didn’t have the strength, she wouldn’t make it, and that she should just go back to bed and rest.
But she’d ignored the nagging voice and kept going. She kept images of her baby in the foremost of her mind and it had served as fuel for her trek. Now that she was back in the confines of her room, she shoved the metal rack to the bedside and all but fell face first onto the uncomfortable bed.
“Need some help?” a familiar male voice inquired from the open door.
Lucy closed her eyes and groaned. Thank God she’d actually donned a matching pajama set. Had she been clad in the ordinary hospital gown, her skinny white butt would have been shining like the full moon.
She wiggled around until she lay on her back and her frail legs dangled from the bedside. She offered Seth a timid smile and nodded once.
“Help me get my legs on the bed?” she asked. “I think I overdid my daily physical therapy,” she finished and sighed heavily.
Seth – the tall, muscular, healthy athlete – strode forward and cupped her diminished calves in his wide, capable hands. Gently he raised her legs and placed them on the bed and observed as she wiggled around and got as comfortable as possible.
“Where’s Jacob?” she asked once she noticed her baby’s absence.
“I dropped him off at daycare,” Seth explained. “I think he needed some playtime with kids his own age, he was starting to act like me,” he quipped and she inhaled sharply. “You know, scratching his ass and burping involuntarily,” Seth finished with a chuckle.
Lucy relaxed and for the hundredth time questioned her decision to keep such important news to herself. Jacob had never seemed to want a father figure, but now that Seth had come around it was like the man filled a gap neither she nor her son knew was missing.
Chris had nagged her, ever since she’d found out she was pregnant, to tell Seth the truth. Her brother was dead sure his friend would do the right thing. But fear kept her lips firmly shut and only the threat of never speaking to him again kept Chris from doing it himself.
Slightly nervous with it being just the two of them, Lucy reached down and tugged at the hem of her shirt, pulling it lower over her stomach. Barely twenty-six years old, she should’ve had a rocking body. But being pregnant and now having cancer had done terrible things to her.
“Why haven’t you told Jacob’s father about him?” Seth blurted and Lucy jerked so hard she nearly fell off the other side of the bed. “Both he and the boy deserve to know.”
“That’s personal,” Lucy answered and continued fidgeting with her clothes. Had Chris said something to Seth? Had he figured it out? She’d never been good at gauging other people. This conversation wasn’t one she was ready to have, so she turned to look up at Seth and smiled.
“If or when the time comes, I will,” she assured.
“When Jacob gets older and demands to know about his absent father?” Seth asked in a slightly raised voice. “Do you honestly think any man wouldn’t be proud to have such a wonderful son? The boy is a gift.”
Seth turned and grabbed the visitor’s chair from the corner and dragged it to Lucy’s bedside. Flopping down into it, he reached up and ran thick fingers through inky black spikes.
Even disheveled, Lucy found him gorgeous. Most women did, she reminded herself. She couldn’t subject Jacob to a father who wasn’t ready to be a father. Seth’s professional career was too important to him to settle down.
“It’s none of your business,” Lucy murmured softly. “If you’re tired of watching him, I’ll find someone else.”
“You have no one else,” Seth snapped and raised narrowed eyes at her. “You’ve pushed everyone away from fear they would spill your dirty little secret,” he accused. “I’m not tired of watching him, I love spending time with him. I just can’t help thinking about all the time his father has missed and you don’t have the right to keep him from the man who would love him.”
Lucy’s eyes narrowed in response and she felt the fires of hell blazing within her blood. How dare this man – this stranger – lecture her? Where had he been these past four years? Oh, that’s right; he’d been partying with every slut he could find. He’d been neck deep up his own ass. Maybe if he’d had a plexi-glass belly button he would’ve known. What would he have done had she told him? Possibly sent a monthly check and called it good?
“Excuse the hell out of me,” Lucy barked. “I have trust issues and with good reason. The only man I’ve ever allowed myself to be vulnerable with left me high and dry mere hours after he’d gotten what he wanted.”
“Is that what all this is about?” Seth demanded and surged to his feet. “You’re punishing
this child because you and I had a one-night stand over five years ago?”
“I’m not punishing him,” she argued vehemently. “I’m protecting him.”
“From, what?” Seth demanded in exasperation. “Just what exactly are you protecting him from? Having friends, loved ones he can count on in his times of need, of letting himself care for someone who isn’t his mother?”
“I’m protecting him from the same man who threw me away without a thought,” she fired back and immediately wished the words back. But what was said couldn’t be unsaid just like what was done couldn’t be undone.
There it was; no going back now. Blazing hot fear roared to life in her belly. What had she done? She’d been so careful all these years and now the secret she would’ve died to protect came rushing out, on a trail of red hot temper and the kicker was the fact that she’d told the one person she didn’t want to know.
Seth stopped pacing abruptly and just stood with his back to her. She cursed her temper but she mostly cursed her heart. She’d known, all those years ago, that she’d fallen in love with Seth and it was the kind of love that transcended time. The kind women read about in romance novels or watched on television. But being the shy, young and inexperienced girl that she was, she’d kept it to herself.
After all, how could such a hot guy with a bright future see anything in her? She was nothing more than a geeky librarian. He was the type of man to walk around with a supermodel on his arm.
“Oh my God,” he whispered, jarring Lucy from her rampant thoughts and regrets. “It’s all been right before me the entire time. Why didn’t I figure it out sooner?” His breath hitched and it sounded like someone had punched him in the stomach. Lucy frowned and for a brief moment thought perhaps he was crying.
Daddy’s Fiancée Nanny : A Single Dad & A Virgin Romance Page 18
