“Wow,” Dylan said, startling Tinka. She’d forgotten he was there. “I had no idea it was that serious.”
“Yup.” Her breath was suddenly shaky and uneven. “Me neither.”
“What happened?”
“Well, I fucked it up, as I do. And now I’m out here with you, so.”
“Glad to be of service.”
She hoisted herself up from the pier and walked toward the bench where Dylan was sitting. “You’re the only person left in North Pole who’ll talk to me.” She and Dylan Greene were of the same ilk. She was no better than him or Colin or the other countless preppy douchebags from her past. Maybe preppy douchebags were her destiny.
Tinka sat next to him and plucked the bottle of cider from his hands. He pulled out his keys and popped off the top.
She took a swig. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I’m the designated driver. I’ve been driving our drunk parents all over town tonight. You’re welcome.”
“Okay, maybe your night hasn’t been much better than mine.” She glanced around the yard. She hadn’t spent much time down here since moving to North Pole. The Fosters didn’t have a sandy beach like Sam did, but there was an unkempt magic to it in the darkness. It felt wild out here, primitive, dangerous. The buzzing cicadas filled her ears, creating a sort of white noise machine that tamped down her thoughts, thoughts like “Danger! You should not be sitting this close to Dylan” or “If you do this, you’ll definitely kill any chance of getting back together with Sam.”
Eh, that chance was already dead. Sam saw her for who she was now, for sure, and he was better off. He and Karen and Jane could start a little club for people who’d been crushed by Tinka Foster.
She held out the bottle to Dylan. “Want some?”
He shook his head. “Like I said, designated driver.”
“Good boy.” Her eyes wandered over to Sam’s beach next door, which was a mistake. That’s where they’d kissed for the first time while playing Spin-the-Bottle. The thought that she might never have the chance to kiss him again or wrap her arms around him or feel his breath against her skin as he whispered in her ear yanked at her heart.
Sam was kind of right, wasn’t he? She had done them both a kindness by squashing his feelings, and he’d done them a favor by verbalizing the end of their relationship. Things were only ever going to end badly between her and Sam. If they’d started dating for real, she’d have cocked it up once she got back to school, because that’s what she did. She used people, got what she needed out of them, and let them go. She was selfish. Always had been, always would be. Karen was right. Jane was right.
Why deny her destiny? Why leave any possible thread to Sam uncut?
She took a swig of cider. “Maybe you were right, Dylan. I should be with a guy like you.”
He hesitated. Tinka prepared herself for him to make a move, but he didn’t. “You know, Tinka, I thought I had you figured out, but maybe I’m not as smart as I like to think I am. You don’t want me.”
Her sinuses, eyes, and throat were about to burst with tears. “No, I don’t.”
“And besides, you and I should keep things platonic. Our relationship goes way deeper than romance.”
“Ew. What are you saying?”
“We have a big job. We have to be grownups and protect our midlife crisis-ing parents from themselves.” Dylan put his arm around her, like a friend or a big brother. He squeezed her shoulder while she cried.
…
Sam was a pathetic loser. It was official. He’d suspected it all his life, and now he had the proof. Knowledge was power, though, and he was never, ever going to put himself into another position like the one he’d been in tonight. He was done dreaming. No more Disney princesses.
He parked his truck outside his front door and ran into the house, where he found Hakeem sitting alone in the living room, reading.
Shooting him a wave, Sam turned his head and wiped his eyes with his other hand. He’d come in here ready for a good post-breakup cry. He hadn’t anticipated company. “Where is everybody?”
“Your dad and Maddie are sleeping. Harper and Matthew are in town at some party. I took the opportunity for some peace and quiet.” Hakeem shut his book and placed it on the end table next to his chair.
“Sorry I interrupted you.” Sam’s instinct was to dash upstairs, but he stood rooted to the floor. Maybe company wasn’t a bad idea.
Hakeem gestured toward the couch across the coffee table from him. “You okay?”
Taking a seat, and feeling like he was walking into a shrink’s office, Sam shook his head. “I’m fine.” He folded his hands in his lap.
“No, you’re not,” Hakeem said.
Sam glanced over at the piano, which held dozens of pictures of his family. There was one big one in the middle of his mom and dad on their wedding day. They looked so happy, so sure of themselves and each other. “Tinka and I broke up.” His eyes swung back to Hakeem.
“No.” Hakeem stood and came over to Sam. He took a seat on the couch next to him and sat the same way, hands in his lap. “I’m sorry, man. I liked her.”
“Yeah, well…” Sam’s knee bounced up and down like a piston. “We were only pretending to date, really. Our relationship was a mutually beneficial way to get our families off our backs for the summer. It was always going to end. Just happened a few weeks earlier than anticipated.” He shrugged.
“You’re telling me that the girl who played Trivial Pursuit with your whole family, who ran around town with you all day today in Christmas garb, who I definitely saw looking at you like you were her favorite member of One Direction—”
“Oh, Hakeem, get new references.” Sam couldn’t help smiling a tiny bit.
“A girl who looked at you like you were the hottest member of 98 Degrees—”
Now Sam actually did burst out laughing.
“Sam.” His future brother-in-law put a hand on Sam’s knee, putting an end to the bouncing. “She liked you. Believe me. I don’t know what happened between you two tonight, but her feelings were real. I have a sixth sense about these things. I’m a professional.”
“You teach English literature. No, not even. You’re a teaching assistant.”
“Exactly. Reading things is literally my job.” Hakeem folded his hands again.
“We…the two of us talked about everything, like my mom and stuff. And it wasn’t one-sided, either. She told me things she’d never talked about with anybody. And beyond that…” Sam blushed. “I don’t know, I don’t have a ton of experience, but I actually managed to kiss two whole other girls this summer—”
“Good for you.”
Sam sighed. “And kissing them was nothing like kissing Tinka. And maybe it’s cheesy as hell—I mean, I’ve seen enough movies to be skeptical. I’m not a guy who believes in soul mates or anything. But with Tinka I honestly felt like maybe there was something deeper happening there. You know, until tonight.”
Hakeem sat quietly for a few seconds before speaking. Sam loved that about Hakeem. He never rushed to judgment, not like Harper or Matthew. He always took his time to analyze every situation. “Okay. Let’s walk this back. What exactly happened tonight and what did she say?”
“Well, she and her friends got into a fight. It was something that had been brewing for a while, but tonight it all came to a head. She feels guilty for what she did, like hurting people is in her DNA. She told me she was doing me a favor by letting me go, that I’m better off without her.” Sam paused. “Maybe she’s right.”
“Dude.” Hakeem squeezed his knee. “I pulled this same shit with your brother.”
“Please,” Sam said sarcastically.
“Really. You’ve only seen us all happy and in love and stuff, but it was a rough road getting here. I definitely gave Matthew the ‘It’s not you; it’s me. Go find someone who can love you for real’ malarkey.”
“You did not.”
“I sure did.” He shook his head. “When your brother and I first met,
I was still in the closet and trying to stay there, honestly. I had a lot of concerns about my family and their reaction, and I thought denial, denial, denial. I’d dated other guys who tried to drag me out, but I dug my heels in, man. But Matthew and I, we started dating senior year; and when we got closer to graduation and the real world outside our college bubble, I panicked. I was like, this has been great, but I’m only going to hurt you, and I can’t give you what you want.” He waved. “‘Boy, bye.’ How’s that for a current reference, smart-ass?”
Sam grinned. “So what happened?”
“We broke up, and it was terrible. I was completely miserable; but, having a bunch of time to myself all of a sudden, I realized that I hadn’t been giving him, my family, or myself credit that we’d be able to deal with this. I had set up this wall of avoiding ‘real’ relationships because I hadn’t wanted to upset the compartments I’d created. But I realized that having your brother in my life was more important than keeping this bizarre peace I’d made for myself. Especially because this peace wasn’t really peace at all, since it meant I couldn’t be with Matthew the way I wanted to be, and I couldn’t be honest with my family about who I was.”
“I always thought your family was totally cool with everything,” Sam said. “Wow, I just realized I’d only assumed that, and, like, I never bothered to ask. I’m sorry.”
Hakeem shook his head. “Probably because your brother was lucky. Your parents had always been super supportive, so why wouldn’t other people’s families be the same way? But, you know what? Mine were cool, too…eventually. It took them getting to know Matthew and seeing how happy we were compared to how stressed and closed off I’d been before opening up to them.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Also, everyone loves Matthew. It’s the law.”
Sam smiled at their playful banter. “True, but everyone loves you, too, Hakeem. If I were forced to choose between you two—”
Hakeem nudged him in the side. “I know, I know, but let’s not tell your brother. We wouldn’t want to bruise his fragile ego.” He nodded toward the Fosters’ house. “But back to your thing. I’d be willing to bet that Tinka’s over there right now, regretting her life. You could wait for her to come to you—wasting the precious few weeks you two have left—or you could go over there and let her off the hook.”
Sam took a deep breath and stood. Maybe it’d make him extra pathetic if he went over there and she rejected him again, but he had to try. “I’m going to do the Sam thing and be the good guy.”
Hakeem went back to his chair and picked up his book. “And I’m going to do the Hakeem thing and read as much as I can before your brother and sister get home and start bugging me about shit.”
Sam ran right over to Tinka’s house. He rang the front doorbell, hopping from one foot to the other, rehearsing his lines in his head. You’re wrong, Tinka. You’re only trying to push me away because you’re scared. I’m not going to let you do that, because I’m in love with you.
Yikes. Where did that come from? He wasn’t in love with her. Talk about pathetic. He liked her. A lot. He couldn’t imagine living life without her, and he spent most of his waking hours thinking about her. But he wasn’t in love with her. He was about to leave for California. Love was meant for grown adults in romantic comedies, not teenagers about to leave for college in a matter of weeks.
Tinka’s front door opened, and Sam’s heart skipped a beat, but it was her dad at the door, not her. He threw an arm around Sam’s shoulders and pulled him into the house.
“Uh…” Sam checked out the scene in the living room. Tinka’s parents were playing cards on the coffee table in the living room with Dylan’s mom and dad. Shot glasses and tumblers littered the area. They were having a fine time. “Is Tinka around?”
“She’s in the back yard.”
Sam’s heart slammed against his ribs as his steps crunched over the plastic sheeting that covered most of their first floor. He skirted the tools and rags and buckets in the dusty kitchen and went out the sliding glass door. Tinka was sitting on a bench down by the lake. Someone else was with her, but Sam couldn’t tell who. Was it Karen? Jane? Maybe they’d made up.
As he got closer, dread filled his stomach. It wasn’t Karen or Jane. It was a guy. Yes, it was definitely a guy. He had his arm around her. She was leaning on his shoulder.
Sam yelped as he tripped over something in the yard, and Tinka and the guy spun toward him. “Sam?” She jumped up. The guy stood, too, and Sam could make out his features in the moonlight. Dylan Greene. Prince Eric, in the flesh.
Sam backed away. “I…I…” He tried to come up with a reason for why he was there, something that wouldn’t totally mortify him.
Tinka panted as she ran up the hill from the lake. “Sam.” She was grinning at him like everything was wonderful.
Sam’s eyes were fixed on Dylan. “I pulled out of your driveway, what, twenty minutes ago?” He glanced at the time on his phone.
Dylan, who’d reached them by now, said, “Dude, nothing happened.”
A cloud of confusion passed over Tinka’s face. She glanced back at the bench. “What do you think was going on?”
“It’s fine.” Sam’s jaw tightened. “It’s great. It’s exactly how you told me it’d go down. You told me you’d hurt me and, hey, you were right. I should’ve believed you.” Maybe he should’ve believed Dottie, too, when she’d said she’d seen Tinka and Dylan flirting on the golf course. Maybe Sam had been wearing blinders this whole time.
Tinka reached for him, but Sam ducked away. She let her arm hang there for a second, then dropped it to her side. “We were just talking. About you, if you must know.”
“Okay, so, you left me, regretted it, and instead of coming to my house to talk things over, you ran right to him.” Sam pointed at Dylan. “After all we’ve been through together, you went to Dylan before me. I thought we could talk about anything.”
“Not when you were the one I was upset about.”
“Especially because I was the one you were upset about. You’re treating me like the other people in your life, like I’m a problem to be avoided.”
“You’re here now. Let’s talk now.”
Sam hesitated. The girl who’d called him a loser not a half hour ago, whom he’d just caught cuddling with Dylan Greene in the moonlight, wanted to talk. Hakeem had told Sam to cut Tinka some slack, but he didn’t have to actually hand her the rope to hang him.
He spun on his heel and shouted over his shoulder, “I think I’ve heard enough from you tonight.”
Chapter Fourteen
After her parents had gone to bed, Tinka grabbed a blanket and went out on the front porch with her phone. She curled up in an old lawn chair and tried texting both Jane and Karen again—notes of “I’m sorry” that went unrecognized. She didn’t even bother trying to contact Sam.
Well, whatever. She’d wait. They’d have to come home sometime, and she’d be ready.
Around one in the morning, lights illuminated their little street. The car turned into Tinka’s driveway and her heart caught in her throat. She sat up straighter as Jane and Karen jumped out of Harper’s little red sports car.
The girls tried to push past Tinka without a word, but she blocked the door. “We need to talk. Please.”
Karen refused meet Tinka’s eyes as she nudged Jane toward the back of the house.
“One minute,” Tinka said. “And then you can go back to hating me.”
Karen put her hands on Jane’s shoulders and tried to steer her away from Tinka, but Jane planted her feet. “One minute,” Jane said. “One.”
Tinka’s face crumpled. Of course Jane would listen. That’s what Jane did. She saw the good in people, even someone as worthless as Tinka.
Jane gave Tinka the kind of scowl she usually expected from Karen. “I want to hear whatever bullshit excuse you’ve come up with to rationalize hooking up with my ex.”
“I don’t have one,” Tinka said.
Jane turned her back on Tinka and
went to Karen, who’d stopped at the corner of the deck at the point where it made a right turn toward the back of the house.
“I could tell you how I was sad and confused and Colin happened to be there,” Tinka said. “I could explain it away by telling you I was drunk and wasn’t thinking. But the truth is, I kind of did know what I was doing. All I cared about was making myself feel better.”
“Tell us something we don’t know.” Karen hugged Jane’s shoulders.
“I push people away. I don’t know why. I did it to you two, and I did it to Sam tonight.” Tinka’s throat tightened, but she coughed away the lump. “I want to start over. I think it’s what I’ve been trying to do since I got here, but in kind of a half-assed way. I should’ve been honest with you right from the start, Jane. I should’ve listened to Karen when she was telling me how selfish I’d been. I should’ve been straight with both my parents and Sam.”
“Harper talked to him,” Jane said. “Sounds like you broke his heart, too.”
Tinka blinked back tears, but a few escaped and rolled down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. For everything.”
“Talk is cheap, Tinka,” Karen said.
“I know it is.” Tinka stepped aside to let the girls in the front door. “But it’s all I have at the moment.”
As Karen and Jane disappeared into the house, Tinka checked out Sam’s driveway, where Harper’s car was now parked. His truck wasn’t there. She looked at her phone. It was after one, and he still wasn’t back yet. He could be anywhere, or with anyone. And she had no right to begrudge him that. He’d tried to open up to her, and she’d pushed him away.
She curled up in the chair again, eyes fixed on Sam’s driveway. He’d been right. Tinka sought comfort in other people, instead of dealing with her issues head-on. It’s what she’d been doing all year at Florian’s. It was why she’d gone and kissed Colin—to distract herself from her problems with her parents.
Well, no more. She’d said when she moved here, she was going to start over. She hadn’t really done that. But from now on Tinka would be honest with herself and other people. She’d stay up all night waiting for Sam if she had to. She’d apologize and expect nothing in return. Maybe she’d burned that particular bridge, but it was going to be her last one.
Artificial Sweethearts (North Pole, Minnesota) Page 17
