by Cindi Madsen
Maybe if I’d gone after him, though…
I should’ve gone after him.
Porter scooted so close our knees bumped. “New York wasn’t for me. Too crowded, too busy. Too many people but not the right one. I didn’t realize exactly what it was until I got back. Then I saw you again, and all the pieces clicked into place. I never stopped loving you, Darby. And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”
Chapter Thirty-four
Monday morning, Kathy walked into my office with a huge bouquet of white tulips. “Looks like someone had a good weekend.”
“It was interesting, anyway,” I said. Going out with Porter was supposed to put everything in perspective, but all I’d really gotten out of it was more confused.
She set the bouquet on my desk. “I’m guessing these are—” She held up a finger and pushed the button on her headset. “Metamorphosis Designs, how can I help you?” Pause. “Sure. Let me get you the number.” She waved at me, then walked out of my office.
The flowers filled the air with their sweet, floral scent. I stood and plucked the card off its plastic stand. The metallic gold writing across it was so swirly, I could barely read it.
Had a great time. Hope we can do it again soon.
-Porter
Porter got extra points for remembering that tulips were my favorite. The bouquet obstructed the view of the window that looked into the hall. Since I needed all the Patricia’s-coming warning I could get, I moved it to the right corner of my desk.
That was really nice of him to send flowers. He’s always been sweet like that.
I sat back down in my cushy chair and twisted to my computer monitor. Thinking I should e-mail Steph about this turn of events, I pulled up my inbox. At the top was a new message from Jake. My pulse quickened, thumping through my head as I moved my cursor over his name and clicked the message.
I RAN A COUPLE OF SCENARIOS FOR YOU AND ATTACHED THE WORKSHEET. ONE WITH NADINE AND ONE WITHOUT HER. YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE THE INFORMATION TO YOUR BOSS AND USE IT AS LEVERAGE. SEEING THE KIND OF BUSINESS YOU AND NADINE PULL IN, I THINK PATRICIA WOULD BE A FOOL NOT TO AGREE TO THE TERMS YOU WANT. JUST REMEMBER THAT BEING HAPPY IS WORTH THE RISK.
GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING,
JAKE
After rereading the message, I opened the attachment. I stared at how he’d pulled together all the information I’d given him.
Is this right?
I could hardly believe it.
Not only were the figures staggering, I found it hard to believe Jake would work this hard putting the information together for me, despite our breakup. Tears were rising, burning my throat and my eyes. I blinked like crazy, trying to get ahold of my emotions before I was the girl crying in her office.
Nadine stuck her head in the doorway. “Ready to go?” She stepped farther into my office. “Nice flowers. From Jake, I’m assuming.”
Nope. Jake sent me something better. I swallowed hard, my throat still way too tight. “Porter, actually.”
Her forehead puckered. “What happened to Jake? And Porter? Is he visiting or is he—”
“I’ll explain everything on the way to Barbara’s. Just give me a second.” I printed the worksheet Jake had e-mailed me. When my printer stopped whirring, I reached over and retrieved the paper. Holding the key to my and Nadine’s freedom made me want to jump up and down like a little kid. Time to go after what I want.
…
Nadine lifted her binder from my coffee table and shoved it into her laptop bag. “So we’re really going to do this?”
“If Patricia doesn’t agree to let us choose our own jobs and give us a ten percent bump on every project, we’re walking. If she doesn’t agree,” I said, gesturing around my condo, “this might be our new office. Are you cool with that?”
Nadine took a deep breath. “Let’s do it.”
I said good-bye to Nadine, then tried to breathe out all the stress of the day. The vase of tulips perched on my kitchen counter reminded me that Porter had called earlier. Nadine and I had been going over our game plan, so I hadn’t answered. I lifted my phone off the coffee table. I just had one missed call, meaning Porter hadn’t left a message. I sat there, contemplating what I was going to say when I called him back. Knowing him, he’d already planned out our week together.
Last night he’d said all the right words. He’d sent me flowers. But it was all wrong. I’d gone out with Porter, hoping to prove to myself that Jake was just another guy. But all it had done was show me that he wasn’t. Things were different with Jake. I had fun whether we were chilling at his place, laughing over dinner, or even watching baseball. And I really, really hated baseball. Or used to. Things were getting fuzzy. Plus, Jake took an interest in my life—all parts of my life. And then there was the way his face lit up when he saw me. How he called me gorgeous. The way I felt when he had his arms around me.
I missed him so badly that the ache in my chest overtook my heart, my lungs. I’d worked so hard to keep myself from falling, but I’d completely failed. I was totally in love with Jake.
And instead of just facing my feelings, I’d pushed him away. For what? A guy I wasn’t in love with anymore? Because he’d had a relationship that failed? Because I was an idiot?
Yeah, that last one was probably the right answer.
Deciding a pity-fest was in order, I clicked on the TV. Five minutes of channel surfing didn’t produce anything worth watching, so I got off the couch and walked around my apartment. My plant—the plant that refused to live or die—sat in the window, looking drier than ever.
I picked it up and walked over to my kitchen, planning on watering it. It looked so dead, so gone.
Instead of heading for the sink like I’d planned on doing, I stopped at the trash can. Stepping on the lever that lifted the lid, I hovered my plant over the open mouth, ready to toss it in with the rest of my trash. But there it was—the one green blade that kept on living. I heard Jake’s voice in my head, saying he admired it for not giving up.
I hated signs. Didn’t believe in them. People interpreted them to mean whatever they wanted. But right now, that blade was telling me to go fix things with the guy who’d fought so hard, despite everything I’d put him through.
Question after question ran through my head: What if he’d finally had enough? What if he told me to get lost? What if he’d already moved on?
What if he didn’t love me back?
Just the thought made me want to crumple to the floor. But I was starting to think not knowing was worse than screwing up my one shot at happiness. My head pounded as I considered going upstairs and laying it all on the line.
I glanced at the clock. He probably just got home. I shoved the plant onto the counter, determination pumping through my veins. When I got inside the elevator, I punched number twenty, trying not to think about the painful way my heart was hammering against my rib cage.
The ride up didn’t give me near enough time to prepare. Head spinning, I exited the elevator. With every step I took down the hall, my throat got drier, my stomach clenched tighter.
I stared at Jake’s door for several minutes before gaining the courage to knock.
As I waited, I ran a hand through my hair, fluffing it just so. Then I ran a hand down it, to smooth it back into place. I took the lip gloss out of my pocket and swiped it across my lips.
And then it was clear he wasn’t answering the door.
I retreated a couple of steps, then heard the door open. Slowly, I turned around. “Spontaneous visits. Just one of the advantages of living in the same building.” My voice came out as shaky as I felt.
“I thought there weren’t any advantages,” Jake said, stepping farther into the hall. His hair was wet and his clothes clung to his damp body. Obviously he’d just gotten out of the shower. Despite the nerves churning through my gut, desire burned within me. I wanted my hands in his hair. On his damp skin. Even more, I wanted him to assure me everything would be okay.
I gu
essed the only way for that to be a possibility was if I got on with the apologizing. “Jake, I freaked out. I didn’t handle that situation at the restaurant very well.”
A no-shit expression crossed his face.
“Or at all, really,” I said. “I guess I just got caught up in everything that could and would inevitably go wrong, that I forgot things might go right. The fact is, there’s nothing really wrong with you.”
Jake crossed his arms, and I couldn’t help but notice the way it made the muscles in his arms stand out. “But?”
I licked my lips, tasting the cherry lip gloss I’d just put on. “There’s no but. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to date anyone else, and I don’t want you to, either. I want to say we’re in a relationship and do everything that people in relationships do, from the light and fun to the serious, to everything in between. Unless I’ve already scared you away and you want to run in the other direction.” At intense moments like these, I tended to try to joke things away. “Although, since we live in the same building and we constantly bump into each other, that’s going to be awkward for you.”
“You’re wrong.”
My heart stopped, I swear it did. “Oh. I’ll just go, then.”
“I’ve got plenty wrong with me,” Jake said. “For instance, I’m in love with a woman who doesn’t believe in love.”
Breathing became impossible. “It’s not that I don’t believe in it—” I threw a hand to my chest. “We’re talking about me, right?”
The corners of his mouth twitched. “Do you see anyone else?”
I let out a relieved breath and looked into his blue eyes. “I only doubted that it could last.”
“Maybe you just haven’t met the right guy yet.”
I closed the gap between us and put my hands on the sides of his waist. “Maybe I have, and I just didn’t realize it.”
Jake’s eyebrows shot up as he pointed to his chest. “Me?”
“Do you see anyone else?” I tipped onto my toes, his arms encircled me, and my lips parted as they landed on his. We stumbled backward, through the open door and into his place. He kicked the door closed, then pinned me against it, sending fire through every inch of my body as he pressed into me.
I drank in his kiss, his taste, as we clung to each other, making up for the days we’d been apart. I ran my hand through his damp hair as I gently bit his lower lip. He groaned and then his lips left mine, traveling down my neck and across my collarbone, sending delicious chills down my spine.
“I have to tell you something,” I whispered.
His lips left my neck, but he kept me pinned against the door with his body, the warmth from him soaking into my skin.
“I-I don’t want you to go to Salt Lake. I understand that you need to and all, but I’ll miss you.” I peered into his blue, blue eyes and had to work to continue breathing. “I was about to tell you that I was ready for a real relationship, but when you talked about being gone for months, I… Getting attached right before you left seemed like a really bad idea.”
“Even if the deal goes through, I’ll be flying back and forth. I wasn’t planning on putting us on hold for months.” He put his hand on my neck and ran his thumb along my jaw. “If we’re going to do this, you’ve got to tell me what’s going on. Otherwise it’s never going to work.”
I nodded. “I guess I should confess something else, then.”
Jake’s posture stiffened.
My heart was pounding so hard it actually hurt. “I’ve never tried so hard to not fall for someone. And I’ve never fallen faster.” The words were on the tip of my tongue, I simply had to force them out. “I love you, Jake.”
He grinned and pulled me into his arms. I locked my hands behind his neck as he covered my mouth with his. His hands moved to my butt, lifting me off my feet, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
“Couch or bed?” he whispered.
I brushed my lips over his. “Well, I haven’t seen your bedroom yet.”
…
I rested my head on Jake’s shoulder, loving the feel of my skin against his and basking in the afterglow of being with someone I loved. I felt light-headed and happy and tired and tingly and mmm, did I mention happy?
Jake wound his fingers through my hair. “So, do I actually get a title now when you introduce me?”
“You want me to introduce you as my lover?” I said with a smile. “Seems a little personal, but okay.”
“Hey, as long as other guys know to keep their hands off, I’ll take it.”
I ran my fingers down his stomach. “You still want to be my boyfriend after what I put you through?”
“What you put me through tonight was good.”
I shook my head but couldn’t help smiling. I propped my chin on his chest so I could see his face. “I’m all in. So if there’s anything important I should know, now’s the time to tell me.”
“I used to have an obsession with turtles as a kid.”
I tilted my head and gave him the best evil eye I could manage under the current no-clothing, just-had-amazing-sex circumstances.
“It was a problem, I’m telling you. Do you have any idea how smelly a couple of turtle aquariums can be?” He placed his hand on my back. “Okay, the serious stuff. You know about my last relationship…” He paused almost as if he was checking to see if we needed to talk about it more before he continued. “You know about my family and my work—which I love, by the way. There’s nothing better than taking a run-down place and turning it into a spot where people love to eat. I’m damn good at it, too. On top of the restaurants, I also work with Virginia, taking care of the business side of her Hammond’s Children’s Hospital Charity.
“Let’s see…what else?” He ran his fingers down my back, tickling me enough that I pressed into him. He smiled and did it again. “I’m so crazy about you that if you asked me to give up watching sports for the rest of my life, I would.” Another brush of his fingers and another grin. “Except maybe the World Series, ’cause that’s more religion than sport.” His fingers stilled and his eyes locked onto mine. “And in case I didn’t make it clear enough yet, I’m in love with you, Darby Quinn.”
I scooted up to place a kiss on his lips, so much happiness bubbling up in me that I suddenly understood why someone might burst into song. For all I knew, cartoon birds were circling my head. I sighed as I sunk into his kiss, his embrace.
Then I caught sight of the alarm clock and groaned. “It’s already tomorrow. I’d better go.”
Jake put his arm around me, keeping me against him. “Stay.”
Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do, but life—unfortunately—didn’t stop simply because I was in love. “Thanks to your being a genius with numbers, Nadine and I have a meeting with Patricia tomorrow, and I’ve got to be in early to prepare.”
Still keeping me tight against him with one arm, Jake grabbed his alarm clock with his other. “Just tell me what time you need to get up and I’ll make sure you’re on time.”
Staying the night in Jake’s arms or going to my own lonely bed?
As if there was really any choice.
Chapter Thirty-five
Normally, I consider myself organized; this morning as I rushed around my bedroom, I felt anything but. “Have you seen my other shoe? I swear it was right here.”
Jake squinted against the morning light and sat up in bed. His hair was sticking up on one side. “If I told you I was wearing them last night, would you think it was cute or creepy?”
I laughed as I smacked his arm. “This isn’t funny. Steph will kill me if I’m late.”
Jake grabbed my hand, pulling me down so he could kiss my neck. His deep voice rumbled in my ear. “Well, if you’re going to be late anyway…”
“Don’t tempt me,” I said. I gave him a quick kiss, then dropped to the floor to search for my other shoe. I’d put all my bridesmaid stuff together, but somehow, between last night and this morning, one of my dyed-pink-to-match shoes wa
s missing.
A shoe was thrust in front of my face. “Is this what you’re looking for?”
I took the other shoe from Jake, tossed it in the bag next to its mate, and kissed his cheek. “You’re a lifesaver.”
Jake and I had spent the last week getting to know each other better. We’d celebrated the fact that Nadine and my meeting with Patricia had gone so well that we were going to be able to take on only clients of our choice as soon as we wrapped up the Red Lion account. I dropped into Blue almost every day after work so we could have dinner together. We talked late into the night—or more like early into the next morning. He told stories about growing up, his family, and I did the same. We talked about interests, goals, everything and nothing. About the only thing we hadn’t done much of was sleep.
There’d been a slightly uncomfortable phone call with Porter, where I thanked him for the flowers and for helping me with my relationship with my dad, told him he was a great guy (I know, it sorta killed me to pull out that cliché line even if it were true) but informed him my situation had changed. That I was taken.
Drew had called, too, apparently to apologize, but ended up gloating more than anything that he was right about Jake. A few last-minute bumps had come up with Stephanie’s wedding, but she and I had taken care of them and made it through the rehearsal. And now it was the big day she’d been counting down for months.
Jake followed me into the living room. I draped my plastic-encased dress over my arm, then peeked in my bag one more time to check on my shoes and makeup. I’d taken the rest of it down to the car already.
“I’m pretty sure that’s everything.” I turned back to Jake, soaking in the image of him standing in my living room in only his boxers, and wishing that I had an extra hour to kill. I wrapped my free arm around his waist and leaned in for another kiss, taking a moment to linger and run my hand down the strong line of his back. “See you soon.”
“I’ll be there.”
As I reached for the doorknob, I realized I’d forgotten to warn him about the people he was going to encounter at Steph’s wedding. Worried I might not get another chance, I figured I better say something. “Just so you know, the people in my town are a little crazy. Since it’s small and everyone knows everyone, they all think they should be involved in my life. So don’t believe everything you hear, and don’t freak out if they ask you when you and I are going to tie the knot.”
