by Kilby, Joan
Then she’d gotten sick and he’d abandoned her to disappear for a yearlong surfing safari. When he came home he’d gone straight into police academy. Now he lived by rules, enforcing the law, demanding strict discipline of himself and his officers. Only his relationships with women were transient.
Since becoming a cop he’d had to become less spontaneous and more by-the-book. At least she’d gleaned as much from things Riley said. It was too bad. John’s zest for life was what had attracted her to him as a young teenager. How many days and nights had she spent mooning over her older brother’s hot friend?
She watched him move ahead, his shoulders broad and straight, hips lean and butt tight in navy uniform pants. She stifled a sigh. He was still hot. That hadn’t changed.
“This place looks good.” John stopped at a fruit stall and picked up a basket. “Just get a variety of produce.”
Katie got her own basket and as she put items in, she told Tuti the English name and got her to repeat the word. “You can do this wherever you go,” she said to John. “Also, let her watch kids’ TV programs like Sesame Street where they teach the letters and numbers.”
“Maybe I should hire a private tutor.” John inspected a papaya, sniffing it for ripeness. “Are you interested?”
“Me?” Katie gave Tuti a plastic bag and pointed to a display of apples. “Apples. Can you get me six apples?” She held up six fingers. “Six apples.”
Tuti carefully placed an apple in her bag without repeating the words. Hopefully she just needed time to adjust and then she would speak.
Katie turned back to John. “I have a job. In fact, I have two jobs, teaching and writing. I’ve just been offered a new contract for three more books.”
John whistled. “Did you accept?”
“Subject to negotiations between my agent and publisher, but yes, I’ve committed to doing the books. So I won’t have a lot of spare time.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful that your writing is taking off. But don’t you think you’re taking on an awful lot considering you’re also teaching full-time? You’re not going to have much of a life.”
What did he know? How dare he make comments on the way she conducted herself. He was no model of appropriate behavior. “I have a good life,” she said, glaring at him. “It will only be better now that I have a chance of fulfilling my dream to be a writer.”
John faced off with her across the mangoes. “Do you go out? Riley says you don’t. When was the last time you had a boyfriend?”
“When was the last time you had a girlfriend that lasted for more than a month or two?” she shot back. He had no right to be chastising her about her social life. If she went out too little, he went out too much.
“Leave my girlfriends out of this. We’re talking about you, not me. Anyway, I’m not with anyone at present.”
“I’m sure that won’t last—” Katie glanced around, suddenly remembering the reason for this conversation. “Where’s Tuti?”
“She’s with you. Isn’t she?” John swiveled on his heels, looking behind him. “Tuti?”
“You’re her father. You’re supposed to keep an eye on her.” Neither of them were used to watching out for a child. “Tuti! Where are you?”
“She can’t have gone far. We only looked away for a few seconds.” He pushed through the milling shoppers, moving past the tall fruit bins toward the section of the store that shelved canned goods. “Tuti!”
A flutter of panic ran through her. A few seconds. Was it? Katie hadn’t really been paying that close attention. She was used to dealing with children in the controlled environment of a classroom.
She headed in the opposite direction to John, her gaze raking the shop. Small dark-haired children accompanying their parents were plentiful. But no little girl in a blue-and-white gingham dress with pigtails that stuck straight out from the sides of her head. No little girl with a dimpled smile and sparkling eyes.
“Katie!” John waved at her from the fruit and veggie section. “She’s here.”
Katie hurried to join him. “How did we miss her?”
Tuti was squatting on the floor, her knees up around her pigtails, industriously filling a plastic bag with onions. Beside her were two more bags filled with a mixture of apples, oranges and lemons. Seeing John and Katie standing over her, she smiled proudly and held up her bag to show them.
Katie breathed out, relieved to have found the girl. But her heart sank seeing the bags of mixed fruit and vegetables instead of the six apples she’d asked Tuti for. The girl definitely needed her help.
The question was, at what cost to her, given that she would have less time to spend on her writing? More importantly, how would she cope emotionally with regular contact with John? She couldn’t spend an afternoon in his company without getting either annoyed or feeling attracted, despite their many issues. She wasn’t sure which emotion bothered her the most.
* * *
JOHN CHASED THE last few grains of fried rice around his plate with chopsticks. Katie was gamely making her way through a huge bowl of Vietnamese noodle soup. Tuti had finished her meal and was dangling a toy cat for a baby in a high chair at a neighboring table.
His flare-up with Katie earlier bothered him. For the past half hour they’d been too busy eating to speak. Now that the meal was over the atmosphere had become stifling. But Tuti looked so happy he didn’t have the heart to drag her away.
He poured more Chinese green tea into their tiny cups, nodding to Tuti and the baby. “She must miss her niece in Bali. She used to carry that kid around on her hip wherever she went.”
Katie took a sip of tea, holding the hot cup by the rim. “Maybe you should go back to Bali and father another child to give her a brother or a sister.”
He gave her a hard stare. “That’s unworthy of you.”
Katie blushed and grimaced. “Sorry. That was uncalled-for. But you have to admit, the timing of Tuti’s conception sucks.”
“Trust me, I won’t be having another kid in a hurry. It’s hard enough looking after one kid let alone two.”
Katie’s eyebrows went up. He clamped his mouth shut, wishing he hadn’t let slip he was having trouble being an instant dad. When Riley had fallen in love with Paula and found a son in Paula’s boy, Jamie, he’d been frankly envious of his friend’s happiness and new family. Now he wondered how Riley played his role as father to Jamie with such ease. Then again, Jamie was born Australian and Paula was responsible for most of Jamie’s care.
“I guess kids cluttering up your bachelor pad will cramp your style with the ladies.”
Where did she get this impression he was some kind of lothario? Was it Riley? He was going to have to speak to his mate. “Can you stop with the cracks about my so-called bachelor pad? It’s just a modest town house.”
“From what I hear it’s got a revolving bedroom door. You can’t bring a stream of women through with Tuti there.”
“I’ve had one girlfriend, Trudy, in the past six months. I’m not with her anymore.” Probably a good thing. He had a hard time visualizing the party girl in a maternal light. “I did go out with another woman, Deborah, once or twice but I haven’t seen her since I came back from Bali and don’t intend to. Although, frankly, it’s none of your damn business.”
“You asked for my help with Tuti. I’m simply giving you my expert opinion.”
“Did I ask for your opinion on my lifestyle? I’ve already figured out it will have to change.�
� He leaned in to give her a wolfish grin. “Unless your interest in my love life means you’re angling to become the next woman in the revolving door.”
She rolled her eyes. “While we’re having this heart-to-heart, you can stop flirting with me at every opportunity. It makes me uncomfortable.”
“Every opportunity? That would be once every three months when I run into you by accident at the pharmacy or something.”
“That’s four times a year too many.” She frowned, tapping her chopsticks on the table. “I can’t help Tuti on an ongoing basis if I feel uncomfortable around you.”
Did that mean she was considering tutoring his daughter? John smartened up and got serious. “I didn’t realize my innocent, lighthearted comments were so offensive.”
“They’re cheap, throwaway passes. Superficial, the way you are now.” A flash of pain crossed her face. “Talk like that diminishes what we used to have.” Then she sat back and pushed her empty bowl away. “Not that I care anymore.”
Superficial—him? Well, that was news. He had interests, as much as anyone else. Okay, it had been a while since he’d been surfing. He didn’t have time what with keeping Summerside safe from criminals and all. If she was talking about the women he went out with, well, they weren’t into settling down. That’s why he chose them.
“I had no idea I upset you so much,” he said stiffly. “I don’t know how else to communicate with you. You refuse all overtures. You won’t be friends and talk naturally—”
“Friends?” she cut in. “How can we be friends after what you did?”
“After what I did? How about what you did?” He leaned forward. “Or should I say, didn’t do?”
“You wanted me to cut off both my breasts,” she hissed. “I was right not to, as it turned out.”
“That’s still a matter of opinion. Yes, you survived and beat the cancer but what evidence do you have that your natural remedies actually worked?”
She spread her arms wide, indicating her fit, healthy body. “The evidence is sitting before you.”
She looked good, no question. She always looked good to him, even when she was bloated and her hair had fallen out.
“What if you were to have a recurrence?” She turned her gaze away. He pushed harder. “Would you do anything different?” Still she didn’t say anything. “What makes you think you’d be lucky a second time?”
“You don’t understand anything.” She glanced back, her voice trembling. “If I’d had my breasts removed I wouldn’t have been able to nurse our children.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to say, they wouldn’t even have children if she wasn’t alive. He stopped himself. She would never admit she was wrong. If he kept pressing her for an acknowledgment that her choice of treatments hadn’t been the safest, or reacted to her accusations about how he’d hurt her, they would keep on fighting.
“Can we please move on?” Katie added.
He was reluctant—they were talking, really talking, for the first time in years. And as far as he knew there was a chance she couldn’t even have kids after going through chemo. But he didn’t want to fight Katie, he never had. Now more than ever he wanted to be friends. Having Tuti come to live with him and seeing Katie again had stirred his old dreams of a home and family. It was probably wishful thinking but maybe if Katie got to know him again, if they could get past the old stuff, they might have a chance.
The way to her heart was through Tuti. Katie loved kids and she liked to be needed. And God knows, Tuti needed her. His family, while they were willing to help with Tuti, didn’t have Katie’s teaching skills. Plus their time was limited. His mother was willing to babysit when she could but she worked, writing a column for the local newspaper. Same went for his sisters, one a lawyer, the other running a café. He could hire a tutor but in spite of Katie’s claim that he didn’t know her any longer, he did know she had the patience and the resolve and the dedication Tuti needed. Tuti was in a foreign country with foreign customs and limited English. She was overwhelmed and the more familiar faces he could give her, the better it would be. So yes, for all those reasons, Katie did top his list of potential tutors.
The family at the next table was getting up to leave, strapping their baby into a stroller. Tuti would be back any second. John wanted a positive connection with Katie so they wouldn’t go back to being formal with each other. He took a breath and summoned the kind of courage that didn’t get exercised much on the police force.
“It hurts that you don’t want to know me.” The epithet “superficial” especially had stung. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I promise I won’t try to flirt with you again. I’m not asking to take up where we left off.” Yet. “But I would like to be friends.”
There, he’d said it. If she turned down his friendship after all that groveling, he would move away from Summerside and never come back. “So…?”
“You’re only saying this because you want my help with Tuti.”
“I do want your help. I don’t deny that. But that’s not why I’m flaying myself before you. If you don’t have time for her then I’ll figure something else out. But just don’t…cut me dead when I meet you on the street. Don’t leave a party the minute I arrive. Say ‘good day’ like you mean it. Have a coffee with me now and then.” He felt his throat catch and cleared it. “It’s not a lot to ask.”
“I’m sorry.” Her hands clasped tightly around her teacup. “I wasn’t aware I was that mean to you.”
“Well, you are. People comment.”
“I’ll try not to do it again.” She sucked in a breath, regained her composure. “So, do I have your word—no flirting? No innuendo? No double entendres?”
He grimaced. Had he really been that louche? “None of that. If only you’ll give Tuti extra help to bring her up to speed.”
Katie tilted her head to one side. The curve of her breasts beneath her draped blouse rose and fell as she thought about it. His mind drifted in an inappropriate direction. Damn it all. He was a man. He couldn’t help the way his body reacted. She could ask him to keep his mouth shut but she couldn’t control his thoughts.
But he would learn to stay quiet. The comments were more a nervous reaction than anything he really wanted to say to her, anyway. If she actually conversed with him like he was a decent human being then maybe he could respond in kind.
Tuti slid back onto her chair next to Katie and smiled up at her teacher. The little girl couldn’t have made a more timely entrance if she’d been scripted. But that just ratcheted up the tension. Katie wouldn’t like feeling pressured from two sides.
John sat back and glanced away, as if it wasn’t a big deal if she tutored his daughter or not. When, in truth, her continued presence in his life had become of paramount importance to him in a very short space of time.
* * *
KATIE WOULD LOVE to help Tuti. But she’d agreed to write three books this year. Plus, she was teaching full-time. And spending time with Tuti would inevitably mean spending time with John. Sure, he’d promised to curb his teasing and flirting but that didn’t mean she wanted to be his new best friend. He’d hurt her. Badly. Tuti’s very existence was a constant reminder of the extent of his betrayal.
But Tuti needed her in the here and now, and that was bigger than Katie and John’s unhappy past. In only a day Tuti had made her way into Katie’s heart with her shy smile and sparkling eyes. Somehow she would find the time to teach, write and tutor Tuti. As for John,
she could be friendly without getting involved. “I’ll do it.”
“Really?” John said, sitting forward. “Thank you.”
“But you have to reinforce my teaching,” Katie said. “That involves reading to her every night, talking to her as much as possible, explaining things.”
“I can do that.”
“Even if she doesn’t understand every word you say, the meaning will gradually sink in. Children pick up languages easily. Tuti seems very bright.”
Tuti’s gaze was flicking from Katie to John.
“I’m going to give you extra time after class, just you and me,” Katie said, and Tuti beamed up at her. To John, Katie added, “The school will provide a teacher’s aide. We should be able to bring her up to speed in a few months.”
“I really appreciate this. Let me know what days and times are good for you and I’ll arrange to be home.”
“That’s not necessary,” Katie said quickly. A cozy threesome at John’s house felt a little too similar to a family unit for her comfort. With anyone else she wouldn’t have even thought that, but with John she didn’t want any reminders or allusions to what they might have had.
“I’ll take her home with me after school a couple of days a week then drop her off at your place when we’re done.” Katie reached for her purse among the bags of produce at her feet. “I need to get back. Are you ready to go?”
On the return trip to Summerside Katie pointed out trees, cars and houses to Tuti. The girl listened attentively at first then gradually lost interest to play with her doll.
Katie fell into silent contemplation. Had she really cut John dead at parties? Walked out of the room when he walked in? It wasn’t always about him, although she would never get used to seeing him with his arm around another woman. She simply wasn’t a party person, preferring small groups of close friends. If she was invited to a large gathering, she put in an appearance then often left when the night was still young. She winced to think how others might view her behavior. Riley sometimes gave her a hard time for being standoffish but she put that down to her brother’s not-so-secret wish that his best mate and his sister would get back together.
