Fatalism

by LK Collins

  I scanned over the dress and turned to look at the nonexistent back. This was the one. It was definitely the one.

  We checked out with our dresses. I had paid for everything else myself today. I didn’t want to take advantage of him. On the way out I saw a black pair of Christian Louboutin heels, I halted at how beautiful they were. Cara picked one up and was just as amazed as I was. A sales woman approached us and said.

  “Would you like to try those on?”

  I shook my head and Cara said, “Yes, in an eight please.”

  I scowled at her. Eight was my size. What was she doing? I couldn’t afford these shoes and I was not going to put them on Vincent’s card. The woman came out and gestured for us to have a seat in two leather chairs. I set my stuff down behind me, still in shock. The woman went to Cara and kneeled down in front of her.

  “Oh… they’re not for me. They’re for her,” Cara said.

  “My apologizes ma’am.” The sales woman un-wrapped the black patent leather heel with its signature red bottom. Instinctively, I removed my flip-flop, and she slid the shoe on. It fit like a glove. I stood and looked in the full-length mirror. Gaping at my reflection, I saw Cara smile at me through it.

  “What do you think?” the sales woman asked.

  “We’ll take them,” Cara said.

  I spun around and saw Cara pulling Vincent’s Amex card out of my wallet. She handed it to the sales woman.

  “Cara, do you know how much these cost? I cannot buy them.”

  “Good thing you’re not buying them. Vincent is.”

  Vincent had been more than gracious. I couldn’t buy these shoes on his card not after how much my dress cost. Thinking of buying them made me sick to my stomach. I looked to Cara and she glared at me. I just shook my head. Cara was crazy. We took our new items and left the mall to head home. We stopped by Vincent’s and picked up my car, since we had extra time. The day passed in the blink of an eye. We were primped, groomed, gussied, waxed, polished, and ready for the evening. All we needed to do was put on our dresses and for me, my new shoes.

  As I pulled the car in the driveway, we had about thirty minutes before it was time to leave. I had butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t wait for Vincent to see me in this dress. Cara pulled in ahead of me and parked my car in the garage.

  When she hopped out I asked. “Do you think it’s going to start raining again?”

  “God, I hope not.”

  We gathered our bags from the trunk, which was on the front end of the car. As we went inside, we immediately went into our own rooms to dress. Normally, we would’ve gotten ready together, but since we were just dressing, we opted for a little privacy. I pulled my gorgeous gown out of the bag the sales woman had placed it in. It was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen.

  I pulled the gold satin up my body and put the finishing touches on my outfit for the evening, sliding on my new black Christian Louboutin heels. I had never owned a pair before, and they were fabulous. I put a few of my make-up items in one of my black clutches. I gave myself one last look in the mirror, checking my hair and make-up. I was more than satisfied with the results.

  When I went out into the living room, Cara was dressed and waiting for me. She went with a red strapless mini dress. It hugged her body perfectly with a thin silver belt and silver heels. We both wore our hair up, and Mac outdid themselves with our makeup.

  “Wow, you look stunning,” I said and she spun around.

  “Thanks. You look gorgeous. You’re going to blow Vincent away.”

  The doorbell rang, making my heart jump into my throat. With Vincent, I often got butterflies, but tonight it seemed different. I was on a whole other level of excitement. I wanted to take his breath away, not just physically but emotionally. Tonight I would not just show him how much he meant to me, but I’d tell him.

  I opened the door, and standing in front of me was a very dapper Vincent dressed in a black tux. His eyes scanned my body, and he shook his head, taking me in his arms. He kissed me with so much power, it caught me off guard. I wrapped my arms around his neck, threading my fingers into the back of his hair.

  “Come on you two. Get a fucking room,” Abel, so rudely, said. I hadn’t even noticed him at the door with Vincent. I was too focused on how mouthwatering Vincent looked. The comment from Abel didn’t affect Vincent. He slightly pulled away but continued to nibble my lips.

  He looked deep into my eyes. “You are absolutely breathtaking. You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.”

  I smiled at him and noticed there was a bit of anxiety hidden deep within his eyes. “Thanks. You look mouthwatering in that tux.”

  “Seriously guys, I mean it. Get a fucking room.”

  Vincent growled, and for once, I heard Cara laugh at something Abel had said. We walked inside, and Abel pushed past us in a hurry to get to Cara.

  “Wow, you look fucking gorgeous, and you’re wearing my favorite color,” Abel said.

  Cara blushed a bit but rebounded quickly, putting a sober expression on her face. “Don’t try to flatter me or flirt with me. I didn’t wear this for you. Where’s your date anyways?”

  He laughed at her and popped the bottle of Chrystal he had in his hand. “Sweetheart, you are my date.”

  She rolled her eyes. “The fuck I am. Have you lost your mind?”

  He chuckled at her. The sound reminded me of Vincent.

  “All right you two. You have all night to fight. Can we please enjoy a toast and get on road?” Vincent asked.

  Vincent ignored them as they glared at each other and handed me a sleek blue Tiffany box. “Here, beautiful. I got this for you.”

  He had already gotten me so much. Another gift was too much. He placed it in my hands, and I knew I couldn’t argue with him. I opened the top, and nestled in the fabric was a chain with a single pear-shaped diamond.

  “Oh, Vince. It’s beautiful.”

  He smiled, looking deep into my eyes. “You like it?”

  “I love it.” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

  “When I saw it, I knew it was perfect for you.”

  I kissed him passionately, with everything I had. When I pulled away, I looked into his eyes. I could still see the anxiety. Maybe we just needed to get on the road, and he would relax.

  Vincent put the necklace on my neck and then Abel said a toast. “Here’s to the best double date, I’ve ever been on.” We all laughed and clinked glasses, sipping our champagne.

  “Are you guys ready?” Vincent asked.

  “Absolutely, let’s get this party started,” Abel said, wrapping his arm around Cara’s waist. A limo was waiting for us when we went outside. An older gentleman held the door open, and we all climbed in.

  The limo ride was entertaining, to say the least. We joked and made fun of Cara’s apparent dislike for Abel. The atmosphere was fun and light, and I couldn’t keep my hands off of my necklace. It felt foreign around my neck. I never wore jewelry, but this was a piece I didn’t want to take off.

  Vincent grabbed my hand, removing it from the chain. He leaned down and kissed the diamond and then placed our hands in his lap. Our hands lay intertwined, as I felt his erection through his pants.

  I listened as Cara and Abel fought about real sugar versus fake sugar and if they would rather get diabetes or cancer. Who knows how they got on the subject, but watching them argue was funny. I turned to Vincent and wanted to ease his worry, so I pressed my lips against his, watching as he closed his eyes.

  “Thank you for everything today and my necklace, I love it.”

  He looked at me and nodded his head without speaking. Leaning down, he kissed me again, and we got lost in each other in that moment. I enjoyed the sweet taste of his lips and how he loved me with his mouth. My lips instantly parted inviting his tongue in, but then he stopped.

  “I need to tell you something,” he said.

  No, not now. This was not the place to say the words, especially with his br
other and my best friend sitting next to us.

  I placed two fingers on his soft lips. “Not now, love. Later, okay?”

  He stared at me confused and clearly unsure of how to respond. The car slowed, and my door opened. The driver reached for my hand to help me out. As the four of us entered the newly revamped Lazio’s, I noticed that Charlie had gone all out. The restaurant was completely transformed. Not only had he re-done the menu, but the inside had been completely redecorated. Previously, it was dark and dim with old world charm. Now it had a light and airy feel, and I liked the change. The colors were cream and lime green with tons of greenery throughout. He also had the patio remodeled for outside seating and a bar was now outside as well.

  Looking around, the men all wore tuxedos and the women were in elegant gowns.

  Charlie approached us as we found a table. “Vincent, Abel, Alexa, I’m so glad you made it. Forgive me but I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting this lovely young lady.”

  Abel went to speak, I’m assuming to introduce Cara, but she stepped in front of him and shook Charlie’s hand.

  “I’m Cara, Alexa’s friend. It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir, and thank you for having me tonight. I’ve heard a lot of great things about you from Lex and Vincent.”

  Charlie looked confused and Abel threw his arms up in the air and walked away to the bar.

  “Cara, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I hope I’m not overstepping my boundaries, but I assumed you were here with Abel,” Charlie said.

  “Not at all, sir. But no, I’m not. I came with Lex and Vincent.”

  Charlie chuckled. “Ahh. Then would you like to have a drink with me?”

  “Absolutely. I love free drinks,” she teased.

  He laughed and said, “I like you, Cara.”

  She smiled and took his arm as he held it out to her.

  “Well that was unexpected. Who knew that Cara would get along better with Charlie than with Abel.” I said.

  Vincent pulled me close to him, looking deep into my eyes. “My dad is a charmer. What can I say?”

  I shook my head at Vincent. I was glad to see Charlie enjoying himself, even if it pissed Abel off. I was also happy that Charlie wasn’t working. He was a guest here just like everyone else. I watched Abel stare at the two of them as they approached the bar. He took a swig of his beer but didn’t take his eyes off of Cara.

  “Would you like a drink, babe?” Vincent asked.

  I shook my head. I was too nervous to drink. I felt awkward next to Vincent. He had already caught the eye of everyone around us. Although I looked the part tonight, I was far from it. I scanned the room at all of the prim and proper rich couples around us; this seemed like a typical Friday night to them. I felt lost and unsure of what I was supposed to do.

  “Dance with me,” he said.

  Vincent had already walked us halfway to the dance floor before I could respond. I was not a dancer and was self-conscious about being in front of people I didn’t know. I cringed on the inside and felt like I was losing control of the situation, but I wasn’t going to turn my back on Vincent. He sensed my anxiety and saw the uncertainty in my eyes as we stopped just short of the glistening hardwood floor.

  “Don’t worry, love. Just follow my lead and look in my eyes.”

  Vincent was an amazing dancer, he moved with precision and grace. I looked into his eyes and found the clarity I’d been searching for. There was my man; he was calm, confident, and loving.

  When the song ended, Charlie cut in. “May I have the next dance with Alexa?”

  Vincent didn’t question him as he handed me over to his father. There was a clear bond of trust that couldn’t be broken. I watched Vincent walk over to Cara and Abel standing at one of the small tables. Charlie started to move, and I tripped a little on his feet, and we both laughed at the little miss-hap.

  “Sorry. I have two left feet. I’m nothing like my son when it comes to dancing. He and Judith were the dancers of the family.”

  “Was Judith your wife?”

  He smiled, and I could see his mind drift back to the memory of her.

  “Yeah, she was. She and Vincent were so close. I never thought he would come around after we lost her. It’s taken him years to smile again, especially with the recent betrayal he endured. I’m assuming he told you about both?”

  “He did. It’s one of the things I love about Vince. He’s always so open with me.”

  He smiled from ear to ear. “So, you love him then?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Good. I know he feels the same about you.”

  I looked at Vincent as he was looking at me, with love and devotion. We exchanged a smile, and he turned to see who was behind him when Liam and C.J. approached.

  Shit!

  What were they doing here? We hadn’t told anyone at work about us and this was neither the time nor the place. Tonight was about Charlie and Lazio’s.

  As the song ended, I said, “Charlie, thanks so much for the dance and telling for me about Vincent and Judith.”

  “Oh, it was my pleasure. Thank you for making my son so happy.”

  I smiled at him and gave him a hug before I excused myself to the ladies room. I needed a little time to process what I had just seen. As I rushed off of the dance floor, Cara saw me and she immediately followed. I walked as fast as my legs would carry me in my heels. I entered the restroom, and Cara was right behind me. I walked to the sink and braced myself by holding onto the edge of the counter.

  “What’s going on?” Cara asked.

  Lifting my head, I looked at her in the reflection of the mirror. “Liam and C.J. are here.”

  “Did you not know they were gonna be here?”

  I turned around to face Cara and said, “Of course not. We haven’t told anyone at the office that we’re dating.”

  “Oh,” she whispered, and when I saw the concern in her eyes, I knew there was something she wasn’t telling me.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked nervously.

  “Umm… I think Vincent invited them.”

  “Why would you say that?” I questioned her. My stomach tightened in disbelief. Why would he do that without telling me?

  “Because I was standing there when they walked up, and they both thanked him for inviting them.”

  I shook my head as tears filled my eyes. Why would he go behind my back?

  “Maybe you should go talk to him,” Cara said.

  But I didn’t want to talk to him. I was so hurt that he would do something like this without talking to me first. I thought that I could trust him.

  The tears began to fall down my cheeks. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Just be honest.”

  I turned my head when the bathroom door opened. Quickly wiping my tears away, I watched as a beautiful brunette woman slowly walked into the restroom.

  Her eyes locked with mine when she said, “You must be Alexa.”

  I don’t know how she knew me because I was pretty sure I had never seen her before.

  “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

  She leaned over the sink and grabbed a tissue. I felt a little foolish crying in front of a stranger when she handed it to me.

  “Here, sweetie. You may want to clean yourself up. You look a mess.”

  By the tone of her voice, I knew she wasn’t being polite.

  “I’m Vincent’s fiancé, Angela,” she said.

  Her eyes never left mine when Cara said, “Excuse me, who are you?”

  I hardly heard Cara’s words, as my body suddenly grew cold. I stood frozen, in complete shock. I was unable to grasp the thoughts that were flooding through my mind.

  With a shaky voice I said, “What are you doing here?”

  “This is a family event, and I’m practically family.”

  “What are you talking about? He told me that you cheated on him. He told me he left you.” As I said that to her, I shook my head. I no longer knew what to believe.

 
“Come on, let’s go,” Cara said as she grabbed my hand. I jerked it back. I had to stay. I had to know the truth.

  Angela tilted her head to the side and said, “Sweetie, he tells the same story to all of them. You’re not the only one.”

  “But Vince wouldn’t do that to me.”

  Would he? How could I be so foolish to put my trust into somebody I barely even knew? I let my walls down and he completely took advantage of me.

  “I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you, but this is who he is. This is what he does. He tells them all the same thing: that I cheated on him, that I broke his heart. It’s nothing but a game to him.”

  “But why?”

  “Because he doesn’t know how to be faithful. But we love each other, so I accept him for who he is.”

  “I can’t stand here and listen to this shit any longer,” Cara said.

  As I peeled my eyes away from Angela, a new sheen of tears washed down my face. Emotions took over. The one time I allowed myself to open up to someone, it was just a sick game.

  I looked at Cara. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “We will figure it out, Lex. Let’s just go.” She reached down and held my hand as she walked me back out into the restaurant.

  Stepping out into the crowds of people, I was overwhelmed by embarrassment. I tucked my head down in shame, and I tightened my grip on Cara’s hand. I couldn’t control the tears. My body trembled with anxiety, and with every step I took, I felt pieces of my heart breaking away. I was humiliated, like every person in that room knew what Vincent had done to me.

  “Cara, just get me out of here,” I whispered.

  Cara wrapped her arm around me and rushed us as quickly as she could to the front doors. Cara pushed the doors open, and the cold rain stung my skin. It was pouring. Our limo driver ran to the car to open the door.

  “Lex, wait!” I heard his voice calling from behind.

  “Stay the fuck away from her, Vincent,” Cara snapped from over her shoulder.

  When the driver opened the door, I turned to him. Vincent looked between the two of us, completely lost.

  “Lex, what happened?” he asked, grabbing me.

  I jerked away from him. “Don’t fucking touch me.”