“Yeah, I’ve been sleeping more lately. I’m sure it’s just my body’s way of healing.” Too late, she realized what she had said and silently cursed herself for being so disconcerted by his call that she hadn’t been thinking clearly.
“Healing? What do you mean? Are you hurt? What happened?”
Furious with herself for letting that information slip, Lacey squeezed her eyes closed and compressed her lips. “I’m fine,” she finally said.
“I know you, Lace. You’re not telling me something.”
Impatient with the conversation, and not liking the way his familiarity made her feel so conflicted, she asked, “Why are you calling, Eric?”
“Truthfully, I miss you. A lot. I needed to hear your voice.”
His words hit her hard. Even though she had no intention of going back to him, the two of them had a history, and not all of it was bad. And she missed the intimacy of having someone to talk to about the details of her day, someone who cared. Sometimes cared. Even so, she didn’t want to drag out this conversation. “I’ve moved on, Eric.” Though it was harsh, she had to make it clear that they were over and done with.
“I know.” His tone showed that he wasn’t going to argue with her. “It’s just that you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I know now that I blew it with you. I was an idiot, and I regret so many things.”
So did she. Like letting his selfish needs supplant her passion for drawing.
“I just…” He paused and Lacey heard him blow out a soft puff of air. “I still love you, Lacey.”
A weight settled on her heart, a weight that told her there were things about him she missed, but that it would be a mistake to give in to her loneliness. “I…I’ve moved on, Eric.” Not very well, but she had moved on.
“So you’re saying there’s no chance for us?”
She swallowed over the knot that had formed in her throat. “That’s what I’m saying.”
He was silent for several moments. “No one will ever love you the way I do. You know that, right?”
Was that true? Lacey didn’t want to believe it. But was he right? She told herself to stop it. She would find her true love someday. She just had to give it a chance.
“Despite all your flaws, Lacey, I still love you. Do you think you’ll be able to find that again?”
Despite all her flaws? What about his flaws? “I’ve…I’ve gotta go, Eric.”
“Wait.”
“What?”
“Tell me what’s going on. What did you mean about healing?”
Sighing in resignation, she said, “I just had a little accident at work. There was a fire and I…I burned my hands.” She glanced at her left hand, which was looking a lot better. “I’m almost all healed now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I want to help you. If you just…just tell me where you live. I can help you.”
Her head swung from side to side. No way would she tell him where to find her. “No, I’m good, Eric. I’m fine. But…thanks anyway.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. And Lacey?”
“What?”
“Don’t forget how much I love you.” He sighed. “You’ll never find someone who’s willing to look past your inadequacies the way I do. You know that, right? No one’s ever going to love you as much as I do.”
“Good-bye, Eric.” She disconnected the call without waiting for him to reply, tossed the phone onto her bed, and burst into tears.
Half an hour later Lacey wiped the tears from her face and began a stern talk with herself.
He was an idiot. What inadequacies was he talking about? There was nothing wrong with her. He wasn’t the only one who would love her. Besides, his love was the kind she could do without. She would find someone who would love her just the way she was.
But another part of her, a not-too-small part, believed what Eric had said and cast doubt on all of her self-talk. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was destined to be alone—because there was no way she was going back to him.
She thought about Jake and replayed Amber’s comment after she had listed all of his great qualities. Sounds like a great catch. There was no doubt that he was, but in comparison, Lacey did feel inadequate. Just like Eric said.
A sense of despair wove its way through her, and on impulse she picked up her phone so she could text Jake and tell him that she wouldn’t be able to have dinner with him that night. No point in spending time with him just to get rejected later.
A knock sounded on her bedroom door. “Are you awake?” Amber called out.
Lacey looked at her phone. She would wait to text Jake. “Yeah. I’m awake.”
“Good,” Amber said as she opened the door and walked inside. “But you’re still in bed.”
Cheered to see her friend, Lacey laughed. “I said I was awake. Not that I was up.”
“Well, get up, lazy bones.”
“Why?”
Amber scrutinized Lacey’s face. “What’s wrong?
Knowing there was no way to hide the fact that she’d been crying, Lacey sighed. “Eric called.”
Sitting on the bed beside her, Amber scowled. “What did he say?” Disapproval blasted from her voice.
“He said he misses me and he loves me.”
Tilting her head, Amber said, “Do you miss him?”
Lacey answered without hesitation. “No.”
“Then why the tears?”
Lacey didn’t want to get into the way he had run her down by making it sound like he was building her up. “He’s just a jerk.”
Amber gazed at her steadily but didn’t say anything. Finally, she nodded like an important decision had been made. “I think we need some retail therapy.”
“I don’t have any money for shopping.” Although Amber’s suggestion sounded like fun.
“That’s okay. We don’t have to buy anything.” Amber’s eyes brightened. “But I’ll treat us to lunch.”
Eager to get out of the house, Lacey smiled. “Let’s do it.”
Two hours later Lacey had given in to temptation and bought a super-cute blouse she’d found, one that set off her blue eyes.
“You can wear it on your date with Jake tonight,” Amber said as they ate lunch in a deli.
Lacey swallowed the bite of sandwich she had been chewing and held back a frown. With all the fun they’d been having she had almost forgotten about her date and that she was going to cancel it.
Amber’s eyes narrowed as she watched Lacey’s face. “What are you thinking?”
She knew her too well. “I’m just not sure…”
Wagging her finger, Amber shook her head. “Uh-uh. You’re going.”
Lacey’s lips compressed. She wouldn’t argue. “Aren’t you going out tonight?”
“I might be. Why?”
Because then she could change her mind and Amber wouldn’t know. “No reason.”
“I can change my plans, you know. If that’s what it takes to make sure you get out of the house.”
Lacey held her hands out to the side, palms up, and looked around. “I’m out of the house now.”
Amber laughed. “This doesn’t count. I’m talking about getting out of the house with a person of the male persuasion. You know, like a date?”
Lacey smiled. She actually did want to go out with Jake. So what was her problem? But she knew what it was. Self-doubt and fear were holding her back.
Amber ate a french fry. “Look, I’m not going to make you go if you don’t want to. But I hope that you will.” She grinned. “And it’s not just because I think Jake is hot. Like, really hot.”
A snort of laughter burst from Lacey. “Right.” Resting her forearms on the table, Lacey softly sighed. “I’ll go. I promise.” But she wouldn’t promise that she wouldn’t cut it short again.
Sixteen
Jake didn’t know why he was so amped up to see Lacey, but he was. It was almost like the way he felt before competing in a firefighter challenge. Lik
e it was important that he prove himself and impress those around him. Only this time he had an audience of one. Lacey.
He hardly knew her, yet he was stressing over impressing her? What was up with that?
Maybe it was because she seemed to get him, or maybe it was the vulnerability he sensed in her, or maybe it was because she seemed less than eager to go out with him—what else could explain the way she’d cut their date short the night before? Whatever the reason, he felt an inexplicable need to reel her in.
He finished setting the table, then after making sure everything else was ready, he climbed into his truck and drove to Lacey’s apartment. Once he arrived, he shut off the engine and paused for a moment as he gave himself a little pep talk.
There was no need to impress her—well, maybe a little. But really, he just needed to be his charming self. If she was smart she would see him for the awesome guy that he was.
Chuckling softly, he shook his head, then he climbed out of his truck and walked to her door.
He was going to be there any second. She had to get it together.
Amber had already left, and now, as Lacey attempted to put the finishing touches on her make-up—which was much easier now that she was going without bandages—the words Eric had said to her that morning kept playing over and over in her head. Despite all your flaws, Lacey, I still love you. Do you think you’ll be able to find that again? You’ll never find someone who’s willing to look past your inadequacies the way I do.
She wanted to scream with frustration, because as much as she tried to convince herself that he didn’t know what he was talking about, he was probably the one person who knew her well enough to know exactly what he was talking about. And it was making her crazy.
The doorbell rang.
No! She wasn’t ready. And she didn’t mean her hair and make-up. She stared at her reflection as her heart pounded like a jackhammer. What was the point? Jake had so much going for him, what could he possibly see in her? Why was he even wasting his time on her?
A knock sounded, strong and sure.
Tempted to pretend she wasn’t home, Lacey glared at herself in the mirror before setting the tube of mascara on the counter and marching to the front door. She had to get over herself and do this. At least then she could report to Amber that she had gone on this date. And when it failed as it inevitably would, she would have proof that she wasn’t ready to date. Two dates and both failed? Yeah, that should convince Amber to leave her alone about dating.
In a weird way, deciding ahead of time that the date would fail gave her the confidence she needed to open the door and greet Jake with a smile. She swung the door open.
Dang, she thought. It’s too bad this isn’t going to work out. He’s looking good.
“Hi.” His green eyes sparkled and his perfectly shaped lips curved into a spectacular smile. Wearing dark jeans and a button up shirt that set off his eyes and emphasized his muscular build, he looked at Lacey with expectation.
“Hey.” Be charming. Why not? If this was going to fail anyway, why not have fun with it? New energy surged through her and her smile grew. “I’m starving, so I hope this secret surprise is as good as you seem to think it is.” Where had that come from? Not so charming.
Jake laughed. “Uh, yeah. Me too.”
Even though he’d given her a courtesy laugh, Lacey knew what she’d said was rude, and her face heated with embarrassment. “I’m sure it’ll be delicious.” Her voice was soft and she couldn’t meet Jake’s eyes.
Sort of taken aback by Lacey’s comment, Jake wanted to take the conversation in another direction. “I see you’re going without bandages now.”
She held her palms up between them, and though the skin was still healing, Jake was glad to see the progress they were making. “They’re healing nicely.”
Her face brightened. “Do you think so?”
“Absolutely. They’ll be back to normal before you know it.” Her smile grew, and he knew it was exactly what she needed to hear. “Are you ready to go?”
“If you are.”
“Yep.” He smiled, then swept his hand outward, and after she’d stepped outside and locked the front door, they walked side by side to his truck. He opened the passenger door for her and she let him help her in, then they were on their way.
“Sorry about that comment before,” she said with a glance in his direction. “About dinner.”
Chuckling, he nodded. “That’s okay. Hunger will do strange things to people.”
Great. He thought she said that because she went into beast mode when she was hungry.
Deciding to go along with that—better than admitting she’d said the first thing that had come into her mind because she expected the evening to end in a massive fail—she laughed. “Yeah. I haven’t eaten in hours.” Although she’d had a great lunch with Amber.
Plastering a smile onto her face, she asked, “So, what have you been up to today? Any more remodeling?”
He glanced at her with a smile that seemed to say he was glad she’d asked. “Actually, I worked on the guest bathroom this morning, but then I had an open house for a client.”
See? He had so much going on. And what had she done? She had gone shopping and bought a shirt she shouldn’t have spent her money on. Glancing at her blouse, Lacey at least felt pretty in it, although Jake hadn’t noticed it. She held back a frown. Maybe it was because her stupid comment had thrown him off his game. She had to give him a chance.
“What about you?” Jake asked. “What did you do today?”
“Oh, uh, Amber and I went shopping.” As retail therapy because her ex had called and had said some mean things to her and she had been feeling sorry for herself. “I, uh…” she smiled and plucked at her blouse. “I got this shirt.”
Jake nodded with approval. “I like it. It matches your eyes.”
See? He had noticed. A smile of pleasure curved her mouth. “Thank you.”
They pulled up to Jake’s house and Lacey stayed in her seat to allow him to open the door for her. He held his hand out to her to steady her while she climbed out of the truck, and when her hand touched his, a zing of energy passed between them. Her gaze shot to his, and when their eyes met, she could see he’d felt something too.
She told herself not to get too excited. This was just a pleasant evening. It wasn’t going to go anywhere. How could it? Just like Eric said, she had too many flaws. Jake was much too perfect for her.
Holding back a frown, when her feet touched the ground, Jake let go of her hand and they walked to his front door. Once inside, Lacey noticed that his house looked just as tidy as it had the day before.
“How do you keep it so clean in here when you’re in the middle of remodeling?” she asked. Another point in the Jake is Perfect column.
Seventeen
Though Jake was flattered by Lacey’s comment, he told the truth. “You should see what it looks like upstairs after I worked on it today.” He laughed. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t. You would be less than impressed.”
An expression like relief swept over Lacey’s face.
Curious what that was all about, Jake said, “I tiled the bathtub surround today. Would you like to see it?” It was the first time he’d tiled something on his own and he was proud of the work he’d done.
“Sure,” she said, and Jake was glad when she seemed genuinely interested.
“Okay. Right this way.” He led them up the stairs and into the bathroom.
They stood in the doorway of the bathroom and Lacey looked at the work he’d done.
The man was talented. No doubt about it. And though it was silly, she’d been kind of relieved when he’d admitted the upstairs wasn’t quite as neat as the downstairs. Although it didn’t look too messy to her. Especially considering that he had spent the morning tiling.
Pushing aside the sense of inadequacy that was beginning to seep into her, she said, “It looks great. Maybe someday I’ll have mad home improvement skills like you.” She forced
a laugh. “Actually, I probably never will, but I think it’s pretty amazing that you can do it.”
His face lit up. “Thanks. The more of this stuff I do, the more I enjoy it.” An eyebrow quirked. “Maybe next time I work on my house you can come over. You know, so I can teach you what I know.” He chuckled. “The little that I know.”
Wow. Really? He wanted her around? Surprised, yet pleased, Lacey wasn’t sure how she felt about his suggestion.
What was he doing? He needed to take a step back and finish this date before proposing the next one.
“Uh, yeah. Sure. Why not?” She held up her hands. “I might not be able to do much to help you, but I, uh, I’m open to expanding my skill set.”
The fact that she was signing on for a third date gave Jake a sense of promise for this date, and he was surprised at how happy that made him. “Great. I’m planning on grouting the tile tomorrow, so if that sounds like a good time to you, you’re welcome to join me.” Way to turn on the charm.
“Sure,” she said, her voice enthusiastic. “It sounds more fun than sitting in front of the TV all day.” She softly sighed. “I’m so ready to go back to work.”
Jake was quiet as a realization hit him. “I guess you haven’t tried to draw yet, right?”
Kind of stunned that he’d not only noticed that, but cared enough to mention it, Lacey didn’t speak for a moment. She didn’t want to admit how miserably she’d failed in her one try, so she said, “Not really. No.”
“That really bites, Lacey. I’m sorry.”
Touched by his sincerity, tears fill her eyes. Embarrassed by the show of emotion, she turned away and took a step toward the stairs while she regained control. “So,” she said with a glance in his direction. “What’s this secret surprise you’re making for dinner tonight?”
“Ah yes,” he said as he followed her. “Dinner for the starving girl.”
Embarrassed anew for her earlier comment, Lacey stopped at the bottom of the stairs, and once Jake reached her, she faced him. “I’m actually not starving. And I was just…joking…earlier.” Though she’d initially decided the date would be an epic fail, she no longer wanted it to be. She wanted it to succeed.
Rescue My Heart: Park City Firefighter Romance Page 8
