by Reyner, Jade
“I suggest you get out here now, Elise.” Dale said in a low and menacing voice. “You are pushing my patience to its absolute limit.”
Silently, Elise groaned and grabbed at her head where she had made brief contact with the sink. She could already feel some tenderness there and a lump forming and she knew that the minor-self-inflicted injury was only the beginning.
Having considered all of her options and realising that she had none, Elise slowly unlocked the door and walked out into the hallway where she was immediately grabbed from behind, her arms locked against her sides and she was rendered immobile.
“So, bitch...” he said, venom dripping from his every word. “Good to see you liked my Christmas present. I thought you would.” Using his free hand, he yanked on her hair to pull her head back so that he could look into her eyes. She noticed that his were slightly unfocused but there was anger and, more sickeningly, desire emanating from their very core.
“Couldn’t believe my luck when I found that dress.” He went on. “Only went into your wardrobe to get the wrapping paper and then I got distracted by the smell of your perfume. Finally traced it to this dress that I knew I had never seen before – I definitely would have remembered it if I had. Seemed there wasn’t much to the dress and then when I got closer, I realised that there was something else there, someone else’s scent. An aftershave maybe. So I reckoned that not only did you go out without me dressed like a whore, you must have also cosied up to someone else. A man.” He pulled her hair harder and tighter, pressing his face right up close to hers.
“Didn’t make much sense to start with but I kept thinking that the other scent was familiar. I was going to ask you about it but it was when you were away at that conference so I thought I would just confront you when you got back. Thing was, I called your office to see when you were going to get back and I spoke to a very helpful young lady - Olivia. Seemed you were coming back early, something to do with a fight that a Mr Vaughn Granger had got into whilst defending your honour. And that’s when it hit me. That’s how I knew the scent – that bastard was wearing it when he came to visit me in the hospital – and that’s how I knew that it was him you had been with wearing that dress. The only time I knew that you were with him was at the conference and, as your dress was still here, that must have meant you had been with him another time – when I was in hospital perhaps?” He paused and took a deep breath, exhaling a disgusting smell of alcohol back into her face.
“That’s when I knew that my beautiful Elise had been playing around behind my back.” He jerked her hair back further, pulling it even tighter, continuing to stare, slightly unfocused, into her eyes.
“I knew that you needed to pay. No one plays around on me. Did you really think that I had changed so much that we could just go back to how we were?” She didn’t know if he wanted an answer or not but she chose to remain silent. Her head where he held her hair was really beginning to throb now, not helped by the bump that she had already sustained.
“I admit, I did enjoy the last few days – almost felt like the old times – but that’s not me anymore. It can’t be me. I can’t exist like nice old Dale used to, things have changed too much for me now. This is me now, this is who I am and now you, my beautiful darling wife, are going to pay.”
Abruptly, he released her and she stumbled forwards before he caught her and spun her around pinning her against the hallway wall. The first blow came as no surprise – he had hit her before – but the second one did; he usually only ever hit her once. Registering that he was way beyond any sort of control Elise tried to relax her breathing a bit, allowing herself to calm so that she could begin to escape to the safe space in her head. The place where she went when reality was just too ugly to bear.
She breathed in as deeply as she could, transporting herself to a calm and peaceful lake where the sun was shining, reflecting dappled light across the ripples on the surface. The birds were singing happily and in the distance she could hear children shouting, playing, laughing. The warmth on her face was a tonic and in her mind she turned her head to the light, allowing its soothing rays to soak through her tired brain.
Elise was rousled momentarily as Dale pushed her roughly towards the stairs, a hand on her back guiding her, ensuring that she complied with his wishes. She did. There was little point in doing anything else. In her dreamlike state she was aware of the physical pain but she had become an expert at blotting it out. It was jostling with the tranquillity of the lake for her attention but she didn’t want to grant it access yet – she knew that there was still more to come.
They reached the top of the stairs and Dale’s ugly voice penetrated, his anger far from concealed, his language foul.
“You fucking bitch! After everything I have done for you – who the hell do you think you are to mess around behind my back? You deserve everything that you have got coming to you and don’t think that I won’t enjoy every last fucking second.”
He pushed her towards the bed and she landed on the soft downy covers, snuggling subconsciously into their warmth. She heard his words but she paid them no heed. There was nothing to say and even if she did, he was beyond the point of listening.
Dale covered her body with his as he joined her on the bed and she felt his anger radiate as he continued to teach her his lesson, using the only tools that he had. She retreated to the lake again, this time watching the ducks flapping and playing, eating scraps that the little boy was feeding them. There was a sailboat on the lake – a remote controlled one – and she scanned the surroundings, trying to see who was operating it. It was a beautiful sight, the little boat, bobbing peacefully on the water, rolling to one side and then the other as the wind caught its sails. One of the ducks briefly gave chase, clearly thinking that it was an imposter and then hastily returning to his friends when he realised his mistake, his metaphorical tail between his legs.
Jolted back to the present, she was vaguely aware of Dale removing his clothing and then roughly dispensing with hers. He was speaking again, breaking into her reverie. He was removing her jeans. He had found her stockings.
“Bitch!” he ground out. “You’re even dressing for him! You must think I’m a total idiot, stupid even, thinking I wouldn’t see these and realise. I know you are not wearing them for me!”
Almost gently he fingered the delicate lace at the top and then yanked on them, ripping and tearing them in the process. His fingernails grazed back up her legs once the stockings had been removed and this time she pictured the leaves on the trees, watched them blowing in the gentle breeze, momentarily blocking out the sun as they swayed this way and that. There was a beautiful bird sitting on one of the top branches and she squinted as she tried to focus, tried to identify the tiny being who had the freedom of the world at its wing-tips.
The birdsong was loud, louder than she thought it would be considering how far away the bird was. She tried to focus on it, drawing on her limited knowledge to see if she could work out what the bird was by the nature of its call.
A sudden movement caused her to return to the present and Elise realised that it wasn’t the bird that was singing, it was her phone ringing, buried in the depths of her handbag. Dale had heard it also and he jumped off the bed, grabbing her bag and upending it, searching through her belongings until he found her phone.
“Some bitch called Celeste calling. How the fuck does she have your number?” Dale asked as he pushed the remaining contents of her bag off the bed and onto the floor, tossing the unanswered phone down beside them. The conference – Elise had eventually given Celeste her number at that bloody conference.
Pushing her bag to one side, Dale began to climb back onto the bed but just as he was about to settle himself down he stopped, hesitated and then retraced his steps, picking up her bag again, turning it over and examining it. Elise knew a moment of sheer terror as she realised that he must have seen her new phone, nestled as it was in the secret compartment. She mustn’t have zipped it up properly this
morning when she checked on it.
Slowly he reached inside and Elise watched, her heart in her mouth, as he began to draw back the zipper on the secret compartment and then ever so carefully remove the lime green diamante case.
“You stupid bitch.” His voice was low and menacing, each word carefully drawn out.
“Did lover-boy give you this? Eh? Is it so that you can have secret calls, secret messages? You really are unbelievable. Did you seriously think you could hide all of this from me you stupid bitch? I can’t believe that I am married to such a slut!”
Before Elise could respond Dale launched the phone against the wall with a force so great that the phone shattered, leaving a hefty dent in the wall. Elise watched mute as the remnants of her beautiful present scattered all over the carpet. Her contact with Vaughn was now gone – just like that. Gone.
The bed dipped as Dale joined her again and Elise retreated back to her safe place, back to the lake and the sun and the sailboat and the ducks and the children and the little boy. She followed the path around the lake with her eyes, it wasn’t a big lake; each side could easily be seen from where she sat on the old wooden bench at the top of the hill. This was her favourite place to sit. It was the best place to take in the view and to fully appreciate the beauty of what lay below and the vista of the water’s edge.
A family were walking around the lake, a Mum, a Dad and a baby in a pushchair. The Dad had stopped by the ducks and was crouching down beside the buggy, taking the baby’s chubby little hand in his and using it to point to the ducks. From where she sat Elise could hear the work “Ducks” being repeated over and over. A father teaching his child. Dale teaching his wife. She watched as the family retreated, heading back to their life, their family, their happiness.
It was nearly over she could tell. The spite and vitriol coming out of Dale’s mouth was crude beyond comprehension but in her world, in her wonderful safe place she heard none of it. She was completely numb, completely lost, sitting on the bench at the top of the hill beside the lake, enjoying the view.
A group of children were running around in the field next to the lake. They had a cheerful red kite, which they were trying to coax to fly, its tail long and adorned with brightly coloured paper. They ran one way then the other, each having a turn, running faster and jumping higher, building up the pace until eventually it launched into the sky and as Elise watched, it sailed high and free, soaring peacefully above the land, dancing on the breeze, quiet and beautiful as calm reigned once again.
She was weightless too as she watched the kite and listened to the chatter. The sound began to retreat getting quieter and quieter until eventually there was no sound at all. The birds had stopped singing, the leaves were no longer rustling in the wind, the ducks were quiet, swimming away. The people had all gone home and stillness had returned.
In the quiet aftermath the only sound she could hear was that of her breathing as it began to resume its calm pace, bringing her back slowly back from her safe place, allowing her to register reality as and when she was able.
And, as she listened very carefully in the almost surreal silence, she thought she could hear the sound of her soul as it was finally and brutally, broken into tiny little pieces.
After a while Elise realised that her arms were painfully dead and she flexed them experimentally to see what Dale’s reaction would be, lying as he was on top of her. He didn’t move so she tried again, this time moving her legs a little - still he didn’t move. His breathing was heavy and regular so she tried to wriggle out slightly from underneath him in order to see his face. His eyes were closed and she realised that he was either asleep or passed out – she hoped that it was the latter as that would give her the precious time that she needed to try to escape.
Tentatively, she pushed against his shoulder and he moved slightly and grunted but he didn’t wake. She continued to wiggle underneath him; bit by bit, until eventually she could sit up. Her legs were still stuck beneath his torso but now that she had some leverage she was able to gently rock him until he rolled onto his side. She remained motionless and held her breath, praying that the movement wouldn’t wake him, and when she was sure that he was still asleep, she gently and painfully moved from the bed.
She was in agony; her face burned where he had slapped her, her legs were sore where he had scratched her with his nails, her arm was still numb where he had leaned on it and her side and ribs made even the tiniest movement excruciating. Moving purely on adrenalin, she silently pulled up her jeans around her ripped stockings and fastened them. Fortunately he had left her jumper alone so she slipped on a pair of flip flops, the first shoes that she could find and quickly collected as many of the belongings of her handbag as possible – leaving behind her brand new but now completely battered and therefore totally useless, broken phone.
Silently she exited the room, all the while holding her breath in case he woke and then crept down the stairs, her heart thumping so loudly that she felt certain he must be able to hear it. Every step was agony and it was all that she could do to stay upright, but she knew that this would be her only chance. She had to get away.
Grabbing her car keys from the rack in the hallway, she opened the front door and walked on unfeeling legs to her car. Dimly she was aware of the front door slamming behind her as she exited in haste but she couldn’t worry about that now. Her car and the end were in sight and she concentrated all of her efforts on getting into the car and automatically going through the motions of starting it up and driving.
She had no idea where she was going but she needed to just drive; get away, create some distance from Dale, from this house, from this life. The only thing that she knew with absolute certainty was that she had just embarked on the first part of a journey that would inevitably lead her onto a very long and very painful road.
That she would be embarking on this journey had become inevitable over the last five years but today had been the absolute end. Today she had realised that she could take no more. She was done. She could no longer make excuses for Dale, no longer pretend that she had a marriage and no longer deny to anyone that her heart belonged to Vaughn.
At the thought of him, she smiled against the pain in her face and her gaze dropped to the dashboard where she registered the date – the 25th December. Of course. It was Christmas Day.
Unbidden, another date popped into her head; the 13th December, the date of the office Christmas party, the day that she had first clapped eyes on Vaughn and the day when, unbeknown to her, the path to her future had been totally and irrevocably changed.
The 13th of December. And it was now the 25th of December. That meant that it had only been twelve days since her life had spiralled out of control.
Twelve days since she had had any kind of influence on her life.
Twelve whole days.
And in that significantly short space of time, she had managed to cheat on her husband, fight off unwanted drunken advances, cry almost endlessly and hold her best friend’s hand as he had begun to realise that he too was battling some demons. She had been hit more times than she could remember, she had had phone sex in a disabled toilet, she had passed out on the floor of a car park, been threatened with legal action and had countless knives put in her back by so-called friends.
Those twelve days had unwittingly marked the beginning of her future and they had meant that she had finally found the strength to leave her husband and hopefully her past behind.
And above all else, during those long and trying twelve days, she had done something she never thought she would do again. And she now realised that it was actually for the very first time.
In those twelve days, she had fallen hopelessly and inexplicably, in love.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Present Day
Elise drove aimlessly for what seemed like hours whilst the adrenalin still kept much of the pain at bay. Although she felt like a great weight had been lifted, she was also very much aware that this was just the
beginning and when the low petrol light on her car started flashing, she realised that she was going to have to find somewhere to stay and fast. She couldn’t just drive around without direction all night.
The problem was that she really had nowhere to go. In the back of her mind, she registered that she would probably need a hospital but that was the first place that Dale would look for her. Then he would move onto her parent’s house and then Cole’s place so both of those were out of the question too. She could go to Vaughn’s; Dale didn’t know where he lived but Vaughn was out of town and she had no means of gaining entrance – her lifeline to Vaughn was lying in smithereens on the bedroom floor. She also wasn’t entirely sure she could even remember the way.
Briefly, she considered a non-descript hotel somewhere that would maybe buy her some time, but belatedly she remembered that it was Christmas Day, which would mean that would also be a complete non-starter. Any hotel worth its salts would be fully booked this time of year and she was in no fit state to go to anywhere that didn’t have basic hygiene standards.
The dark was starting to draw in now and the rush of the last few hours was beginning to wear off making her become aware of pain and throbbing in virtually every part of her body. Her legs were aching, her head was pounding and her left arm was still partially numb making it awkward to continually change gear. Running out of options, she pulled over to the side of the road and into a fairly secluded lay-by. She needed time to think but she was also smart enough to realise that she had to get off the road. Dale could wake up and start searching for her at any time and she couldn’t just park up here and wait. She would be like a sitting duck.
Frustrated, she banged her hand on the steering wheel, willing her brain to think. Think. There must be somewhere she could go, somewhere she could at least stay the night until she could work things out in the morning when she had a clearer head. Surely her life hadn’t been so controlled by Dale that she didn’t have anyone she could feasibly turn to?
