He knocked softly on the door, but when there was no response, he opened it. The curtain was pulled back, the room bathed in early-evening sunlight. Julia sat on the bed, her knees curled up to her chin, arms hugging her legs tight against her.
Sam stepped into the room and the dog edged past him, silently hopping up on the bed and giving Julia’s hand a gentle lick before curling into a ball at her side. Without acknowledging Sam, she reached out to stroke the dog’s soft head.
“Jules?”
Her hand stilled. “Go away,” she whispered, her voice awful.
“Julia, look at me.” Sam took another step into the room.
“I said go away.” She lifted her head, her eyes puffy from crying, tears dried on her cheeks. She looked as miserable as Sam felt. He waited for her to scream at him, to hurl insults and obscenities. He wanted her to let loose her temper but she only stared, her gaze filled with the pain of betrayal.
Knowing it was his betrayal that had caused her suffering almost killed him on the spot. “I’m sorry,” he began but stopped when she scrambled back against the headboard. The dog jumped up and stood like a sentry in front of her.
“I could lose him.” Her voice was dull and wooden, as if she was in a pit of despair so deep she couldn’t even manage emotion.
“You won’t lose him.” Sam said the words with conviction, hoping they would be true.
“You don’t know. You weren’t there.”
The accusation in her voice cut like a knife through his heart. “It was work, Jules. I meant to be there.” He sat down on the edge of the bed gingerly, not wanting to spook her or the dog.
“You’re leaving.”
“I thought it was for the best,” he lied. The best thing that ever happened to him was this woman, but he was too scared of being hurt to give her what she needed. “That when you didn’t need me anymore, it would be easier for us both if I was gone.”
“I needed you today and instead I found out from Jeff’s lawyer that you were taking a new job. You made me look like a fool, Sam.”
The truth of her words struck him to his core. She was right. He was supposed to be there for her and he’d let her down. In a big way. It was the reason he knew he was destined to be alone: the work always came first for him. He was the same as his dad had been. It had cost his mother her life and now it might cost Julia her future with Charlie. He had to make it better somehow. “What can I do?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do. I have one good thing in my life. Charlie was the one thing I did right. And I’ve ruined that, too.”
“You haven’t—”
“I trusted you, Sam.” As much as the words hurt, her voice, still empty of emotion, was the worst. “My mistake. I should have learned by now I can’t rely on anyone except myself.” She gave a brittle laugh. “And I’m iffy at best.”
“Where’s Charlie?”
“He’s with Ethan. I couldn’t let him see me like this.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m going to pull it together. I have to. But I needed a little time.”
“We can get through this.”
“There’s no we. There never really was. You proved that today.”
“I didn’t mean it to end like this.” He reached out for her again and Casper growled like he meant it.
Julia went rigid. “Don’t touch me. I never want to see you again. I don’t know what’s going to happen with the custody arrangement. But I’ll find a way to keep my son. He’s all that matters to me now.”
Sam shook his head. “Don’t say that,” he whispered.
Her eyes blazed as she spoke. “I thought you were different. I wanted to depend on you. I wanted to love you. Hell, I was halfway there already. It’s over. I don’t care what you say to your father or anyone in town about why this is ending. Blame it on me.”
“This isn’t over and I’m not blaming anything on you. If you let me—”
“I did let you. I let you into my heart and into my son’s life and you betrayed us.” She took a shuddering breath. “We’re over. Whatever I thought we had is done.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Please go, Sam. Please.”
He stared at her as she turned to the dog, petting him until he lay down again beside her. Sam wanted to grab her and pull her to him, hold on until she melted into him. This couldn’t be the end.
He’d wanted to leave her happy, to do the right thing by her. Maybe he couldn’t be the man she wanted but he’d been determined to see her through. To be the hero when it really mattered.
Now he was nothing more than the jerk who’d put her at risk of losing her son.
He stood slowly, his eyes never leaving her. He prayed she would look at him, give him some small glimmer of hope. When she didn’t, he turned and walked from the room.
Lainey hung up the phone as he came down the hallway.
“How is she?”
He shook his head. “She should never have trusted me.”
“But she did, Sam. What are you going to do now?”
He thought for a moment then answered the only way he could. “I’m going to do what I do best—disappoint someone I care about.”
Lainey looked as if she’d expected him to give some white-knight answer. But Sam was only good at playing the hero when the stakes didn’t matter to him personally. When his emotions were on the line, he had a knack for royally messing up everything around him.
He walked out the door and into the dark night knowing he’d just ruined his best opportunity at a happy ending in life.
The image of Julia so forlorn would haunt him for a long time. Her anger and hatred might be deserved, but it hurt the most to know that he couldn’t take away the pain he’d caused her.
For that, he’d never forgive himself.
* * *
Julia pushed the stroller along the plush carpet of the retirement home until she got to the common room that also served as a makeshift salon for residents.
“Good morning, Julia.”
“Hey, Charlie.”
Several voices called out to greet them, and she was thankful the people here were unaware of her personal turmoil, unlike most of the town. Charlie waved as though he was in a parade, which made Julia smile a bit. Her first in several days. She took a small sip of her coffee then placed it in the cup holder attached to the stroller’s handle. It had been a rough week.
She tried not to show her emotions in front of Charlie, so she had spent a few sleepless nights crying in the dark hours and worrying about her future. The days were just as difficult to get through, since everywhere she went someone had a comment on her recent struggles. To her surprise, most of what people said had been supportive. Old friends and other locals seemed to come out of the woodwork to offer her a word of encouragement or commiserate on her situation.
Even Val Dupree, the Hairhouse’s owner, had called from Florida to tell Julia that she was still willing to work with her to find a way for Julia to buy the salon. Julia had thanked her, but at this point she was afraid it was too little, too late. The Johnsons had so much power and she wasn’t sure there was anything she could do to keep her future with Charlie secure.
Nothing mattered except Charlie.
She hadn’t seen or spoken to Sam, although a couple of ladies had come into the salon specifically to tell her how they’d given him an earful about his reprehensible behavior toward her. Apparently, being screwed over by a man made you an automatic member of a certain girls’ club.
If it wasn’t for her constant worry about Charlie, Julia might be happy right now. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt as if she was a true member of the Brevia community.
But everything else faded when she thought of her son and what
she’d need to do to keep him with her.
Before moving forward with her plan, she had this one last loose end to tie up.
“Good morning, Mrs. Shilling,” she said as she walked into the room.
“Well, hello, dear.” A gray-haired woman, sitting at the games table with a deck of cards, lifted her head and smiled.
“Hi, Iris.” Julia directed that greeting to the younger woman wiping down counters at the back of the room.
“Hey, Jules. Thanks for coming on such short notice.” The younger woman waved at Charlie. “Hey there, Chuckie-boy. Do you want to check out the fish while your mommy helps Mrs. S.?”
Charlie bounced up and down in his seat. “Fishy,” he squealed. “Charlie, fishy.”
“Thanks, Iris.” Julia picked up her coffee from the stroller and pushed the buggy toward Iris. She always brought Charlie when she came to Shady Acres. The residents and employees loved seeing him.
As Iris left with Charlie, Julia turned to the older woman. “Mrs. Shilling, where did you find the scissors?” She stepped forward and ran her fingers through the spiky tufts of hair on the top of the woman’s head.
Mrs. Shilling placed her hand over Julia’s and winked. “In the craft cabinet, dear. They forgot to lock it after our art class yesterday.”
Julia opened her bag and pulled out a plastic apron, spray bottle, scissors and a comb. “What do you think if I clean it up a little? You’ve done a nice job here, but I can even up the sides a bit.”
“I suppose,” Mrs. Shilling answered with a shrug. “When I was a girl, I had the cutest haircut, just like Shirley Temple. I wanted to look that cute again.” She met Julia’s gaze, her hazy eyes filled with hope. “Can you make me look like Shirley Temple, dear?”
Julia patted Mrs. Shilling’s soft, downy hair. “I’ll do my best.” She wrapped the apron around the woman’s frail shoulders. “Next time, go easy with the scissors, Mrs. S. You’re beautiful just the way you are.”
She usually came to Shady Acres every other week to cut and shampoo the hair of a group of residents. But Iris had called her last night to say that Mrs. Shilling, one of her favorite ladies, had butchered her hair. Julia made time to come here before she needed to be at the salon.
She used the scissors to snip a few tendrils of hair as Mrs. Shilling hummed softly.
“Everything okay in here?”
Julia turned, shocked to see Ida Garvey walk into the room.
Mrs. Shilling’s face lit up. “Ida, so nice to see you here this morning. This is my friend Julia. She’s making me look like Shirley Temple.” She glanced at Julia. “This is my daughter, Ida. She’s a very good girl.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “She still wets the bed sometimes. Has nightmares, poor girl. I let her snuggle with me until she falls asleep.”
Julia gave a small smile. “Nice to see you, Mrs. Garvey.”
The older woman shook her head. “I haven’t wet the bed since I was seven years old. The Alzheimer’s has affected my mother’s memory of time.”
“I figured as much. I won’t be long here.”
“They called to tell me she’d cut her own hair again.”
“If she ever wants a part-time job, we could use her skills at the Hairhouse.” Julia continued trimming the woman’s fluffy hair.
“She can’t do any worse than some of those girls you’ve got working there.”
“Play nice, Mrs. Garvey. I’ve got the scissors.”
One side of Ida’s mouth quirked. “She talks about you a lot.”
Julia glanced up. “Really? Me?”
“In fact, I have a suspicion she might have done this just to get you out here again.”
Mrs. Shilling pointed a bony finger at her daughter. “Children are supposed to be seen and not heard, young lady.”
“I’m almost seventy, Mom.”
“Still holds true,” the woman said with a humph. “Besides, she’s going to make me look like Shirley Temple. Or maybe Carole Lombard.”
Julia smiled, something about this woman’s affection lifting her spirits the tiniest bit. She was grateful for every lift she could get right now. “I was thinking Katharine Hepburn, circa Adam’s Rib. Gorgeous but spunky.”
“I’ll take spunky,” Mrs. Shilling agreed and settled back into her chair.
“I heard about your recent troubles,” Ida said, her gaze assessing. “What are you going to do about the salon?”
“My loan wasn’t approved. What else can I do? I’m not sure if I’m going to be in town for much longer, actually.” She squeezed Mrs. Shilling’s shoulder. “I’ll miss you when I go.”
The woman heaved a sigh. “All the good ones move on.” She gave a watery smile to her daughter. “Except Ida. She’s my best girl. Always has been.”
Julia’s chest fluttered at the love in the older woman’s gaze when she looked at her daughter. She suddenly saw crotchety Ida Garvey in a new light. Julia knew she’d look at Charlie like that one day. She’d do anything to keep him by her side so she’d have that chance. Nothing was more important to her.
Ida gave her mother an indulgent smile, and then with her customary bluntness she asked Julia, “How did the bank deal get messed up?”
Julia pulled in a deep breath and paused in her cutting. “They didn’t think I was a good investment, I guess.” She paused, squaring her shoulders, and then said, “As you’ve probably heard, my learning disabilities are severe. Not exactly the type of applicant you’d trust to run a business, even a small local salon. Too bad, though. I had big plans.”
Mrs. Shilling clapped her hands. “She told me all about it, Ida. Getting rid of that horrid name. She’s going to offer spa services. I want to bathe in a big tub of mud!”
“Is that so?” Mrs. Garvey asked, looking between her mother and Julia.
Julia gave a small laugh, embarrassed now that she’d confided so much in the older woman. “My idea was to make it a destination for people traveling in the area and the go-to place for a day of pampering for women around the region. There’s really nothing like that unless you head over to Asheville or down to the coast.”
Ida nodded. “Tell me about it. I’ve put most of the miles on my car driving back and forth for a monthly facial.”
Julia felt color rise to her cheeks, embarrassed she’d shared her dream now that it wasn’t going to come true. “That’s probably more information than you wanted for a simple question.” She used a comb to fluff Mrs. Shilling’s white hair. “There you are, beautiful.” She handed her a small mirror. “Katharine Hepburn, eat your heart out.”
The woman smiled as she looked in the mirror then at her daughter. “Do you love it, Ida?”
“I do,” she agreed.
Julia removed the apron and took a broom from the supply closet in the corner. “I’ll have one of the girls come out to do your hair when I’m gone.” She began to sweep up the hair from around the chair.
“Ida, give her some money,” Mrs. Shilling ordered.
Mrs. Garvey pulled her wallet from her purse.
Julia shook her head. “I don’t charge for my time here.”
Ida took out a business card and handed it to Julia. “This is the firm that handles my financial portfolio. The president’s contact information is there.”
Julia took the card. “Oh.” She knew Ida Garvey’s late husband had left her a sizable inheritance.
“If you decide you want to stay in the area and are still interested in investors for your business, call him. I see the need for the type of spa you’re describing. I assume you have a business plan our loan team could review?”
Julia nodded, dumbfounded by the offer.
“Good. I don’t want to pressure you. I don’t know why the bank here didn’t approve your loan, but I’d guess it had something to do with Annabeth.
That girl isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. But I certainly hope it wasn’t because of your learning disorder. It doesn’t make you a bad bet for a loan.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
Mrs. Shilling reached out and took Julia’s hand. “Ida is rich,” she said in a loud whisper. “She takes good care of me.”
“You’re very lucky,” Julia told the woman, feeling a tiny flicker of hope that her own luck had taken a turn for the better.
Chapter Sixteen
Sam hit the mute button on the television and jumped off the couch, throwing on an old T-shirt in the process.
His heart soared at the thought that Julia could be the person insistently knocking on his front door.
He groaned as he opened it to reveal his father and brother standing side by side on his front porch. “Not now, boys,” he said and went to swing the door shut again.
His dad pushed it open and knocked him hard in the chest. “What the—” Sam muttered as he stumbled back into the house.
“That’s what I’d like to know.” Joe’s voice was hard as he stalked past Sam. Gone was the gentle emotion of his recent visit and in its place the tough, take-no-prisoners Boston cop had returned. Sam wanted to be grateful but knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of his father’s temper. His own fuse felt too short to deal with that right now.
He glanced at his brother, who shrugged and stepped into the house, closing the door behind him.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Joe bellowed, slamming his palm against the wall. “You took advantage of that girl. You used her to deceive me and now you’ve deserted her. That’s not how I raised you. I’ve never been so angry and disappointed in all my years.”
Angry and disappointed? Even in the midst of a full-blown tirade, Joe was talking about how he felt. Sam had damn near had enough of it.
“This is your fault,” Sam countered. “If you had left me alone, none of this would have happened.” He squared his shoulders, warming up to the subject, needing a place to vent his own anger. “You came in here, emotional guns a-blazin’, and wanted me to turn into somebody I’m not. It’s never going to happen, Dad. I’m never going to be some heart-on-my-sleeve kind of guy, spouting out my feelings and crying at sappy chick flicks.” He pointed a finger at his father. “You raised me to ignore my emotions. It’s what you made Scott and me into after Mom died. I can’t change. The mess I made of things with Julia is proof of that.”
Her Accidental Engagement (Harlequin Special Edition) Page 18
