by Jean Oram
“You.”
“Who scaled Mount Logan?”
“I had a sprained ankle or I so would have beaten you up to the top instead of staying behind.” She slipped off the futon, slapping at his hands as he pursued her, going in for a ruthless tickle. They wrestled, each trying to best the other.
“And who paraglided in the Alps?” he asked, forcing her to back up as she struggled to swing his arms down and away from her ribs.
“Who bought you the tickets?” she countered.
He was too strong, and before long had her arms stretched above her head, her backside thumping against the wall.
“Because who’s afraid of heights?”
“Who chickened out of a dare to kiss Beverly in the cafeteria after prom?”
His eyes darkened with something Nicola couldn’t quite grasp. “Why would I kiss her?”
“Because she liked you and it scared you.”
He dropped her hands, setting her free before he had her truly pinned. “It would have been leading her on.”
He had a good point.
“Why are you always trying to set me up with other women, lead them on when I’m not interested?”
“I’m not. Not always.” Just often enough to settle her need to breathe.
It had only been recently that she’d puzzled out the internal pressure to push him toward other women. The two of them were best friends, making him off limits. So, if he was romantically involved with someone else, she knew she couldn’t and wouldn’t give in to the desperate undercurrent that urged her to wrap her legs around his hips and kiss him until everything made sense.
The only problem was that he never stayed with anyone for very long, leaving her in a perpetual pent-up state of emotional and physical unrest.
“Why do you do that?” he asked.
“Why are you always running away from relationships?”
“Maybe nobody knows what I need.”
“And what do you need?”
He came closer again, his eyes dark, but this time with something that looked like a healthy dose of barely contained desire. “Something I haven’t been able to figure out how to make mine.”
He was talking about her. He had to be.
Her heart was pounding, her palms growing damp. She wanted this. Wanted it to be more than just him playing around, yanking her chain, teasing. She wanted it all to be true. She wanted to be The One.
“Which is…?” Her voice was breathy, the intensity of his gaze making her knees weak. Suddenly it was too warm, the game they were playing too dangerous, the stakes too high. She couldn’t pull it off. She was in too deep. It all mattered way too much and she was going to burst if he didn’t touch her, kiss her, make her his.
He watched her for a long, agonizing moment, then tapped the wall beside her, backing away as he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth like he did when he was uncertain. He flashed her a quick smile. “Nothing. I just need to get out more or something.”
She wanted to reach out, pull him to her, tell him not to be scared, not to run. Hold him until he gave in to the undercurrent pulsing between them with an intensity that told her this was meant to be.
He pushed a hand through his hair, taking the few steps to the front door before pausing, shoulders sagging. He shot her a glance, as though trying to confirm who she was.
“Are you leaving?” she asked, having to clear her throat to force the words past the sudden tightness in her larynx.
“Let’s go hike with the bears in the dark,” he said softly.
“Oh, that’s…” That sounded scary, actually. Her body was still aching for him and she closed her eyes, stuffing down her feelings so she could be nothing more than his best friend. Again.
She could pretend their mutual desire wasn’t real. She could put one platonic foot in front of the other.
The only problem was that she wasn’t sure how much longer she could pretend.
“Scared?” He made little clucking sounds, while flapping his arms as if they were wings.
“No.”
“Liar.”
“Fine,” she snapped. “I’ll just push you in front of the bears. You’re much more delectable.”
“Maybe we should bring the dog?”
“We are not feeding Twiggy to the bears.”
“I didn’t say that.”
She gave Todd a push as she walked out the door. “You didn’t have to.”
“We’re not taking him?” he asked, when she locked the door behind them.
“He had a walk at lunch and the hike is too far for his little legs.” It had become her new habit. Come home for a bite, some doggy snuggles and a brisk walk, then head back to work. So far it was going fairly well. She hadn’t had to rely on Janet to rescue her, and the noon walk perked her up for an afternoon spent at her desk.
She led Todd to a short trail through a meadow that wouldn’t put them in danger if darkness descended before they made their way back again. There were no bugs and the light had an ethereal feel as the sun started to set behind the mountains.
“Come on, pick up the pace,” she chided, when Todd paused at the crest of a small knoll. “Chop, chop. We’re going to lose the light.”
“Not all of us do this hike twice a week and are as fit as you are. Slow down.”
“Can’t keep up? Because this is all residual fitness—the hikes ended weeks ago. Maybe you need to pump iron or something. Elliptical. Treadmill. Spin bike. You’re getting soft in your old age.”
He ignored her jab and snagged her wrist to hold her back. “Maybe I want to enjoy the view.”
He was focused on her, his eyes soft and smiling. He wasn’t looking at the pink streaks starting in the sky, the meadow grasses, the fallen leaves, the nearby babbling river.
“Then why don’t you take it in?” she asked, tugging the zipper on her jacket higher.
“I am.”
Her heart throbbed madly, her whole body going into a frenzy of excitement. The warmth in his gaze felt like so much more than friendship, and she wondered if he was going to finally make a move.
“And do you like what you see?” she whispered.
“I see something new to admire every time.”
“Oh, you tease,” she said, playfully swatting him away. He was setting her up for a joke. He had to be.
“It’s true. You’re beautiful.”
“Todd…” She swallowed, knowing if he kept this up she was going to get hurt, was going to fall even harder. Completely irrevocable emotions.
She became aware of how her fingers were tangled in his as they faced each other, how he refused to set her free. Maybe this time was going to be different. Maybe he was done denying what they had.
She took a half step closer, studying his honest, admiring gaze.
“At first I wasn’t sure what I thought of the weight you lost,” he said, his eyes taking in every inch of her. “You looked tired.”
“So did you.” But the bags she’d noted under his eyes weeks ago were gone. “You look better now, though.”
“Nice. I compliment you in a way that would make most women swoon and you tell me I looked like crap.”
“That’s what friends are for,” she whispered. He was still tanned from the summer, his skin bronzed in a way that made his inviting blue eyes shine.
“How about now? I’m back to being devilishly handsome?”
The air around them had grown still and quiet, her attention on him and the dwindling space between their bodies. They were a breath apart, his body heat warming her, whispering for her to lean closer.
“That’s a superpower you need to use for good,” she said.
“It’s true,” he said thoughtfully. “I can’t unleash it on just anyone. Not everyone can handle it.”
“Not like I can.”
“That’s because you’re special.” He released her fingers and slipped an arm around her waist so they were hip to hip as lovers might stand and her breathing went ragged. H
is other hand caressed her cheek, an undercurrent of need running between them. Their connection stoked the heat between them like a forest fire about to blaze out of control, ready to take down everything in its path.
“I am special,” she said, her heart racing.
“I noticed that the first day I met you.” His lips were almost brushing hers and she barely dared breathe, speak…anything. “There have been very few women I’ve truly wanted.”
“Which ones have you wanted?” Oh, please say me.
No, don’t say it! My head might explode.
“I think you know there’s only ever been one.”
“Who is she?”
“Let me tell you.” He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her slowly and deeply. Joy welled up inside her and she snaked her arms around his shoulders, pulling him tight.
She was the one. The only one.
* * *
Nicola couldn’t stop smiling. Man oh man, her best friend could kiss like nobody she’d ever met. To think those lips had been there beside her all those years, their magic unknown.
Which was probably a good thing or she would have jumped the poor guy.
Although…maybe he wouldn’t mind that. He had initiated that steamy kiss, after all. Finally.
She sighed, snuggling further into her lawn chair and wondered if each kiss with him would continue to level up like that one and blow the top off her mind. Their Valentine’s Day kiss had been brief but good, however, it couldn’t hold a candle to the one they’d shared in the meadow. That one? She wanted to repeat it over and over.
Sitting beside her on the roof of her building, Todd passed her the bag of candy drops they’d been sharing. In companionable silence, they watched the lights come on across town as the last rays of the sun winked out behind the tallest peak to the west.
Todd scooted his chair closer to hers.
They’d kissed long and lingeringly on the path, then had continued on like nothing had happened, their hands linked. She couldn’t help but wonder if they were going to kiss again. But she had to play it cool. Let him lead. No over-the-top assumptions. She could take steamy kisses from her BFF in stride and not expect the moon.
Oh, but she wished he’d kiss her again.
A loud ripping sound was followed by Todd falling through the torn fabric of his chair and landing on the roof. Nicola almost tumbled out of her lounger, helpless with laughter. She swiped at the tears as Todd flailed about, trying to free himself, scramble to his feet, anything.
“Come on! Help me,” he cried, chuckling as he reached for her.
She collapsed onto the roof, doubled over. “You look like a crab―or a turtle!”
“Come over here and say that.” He made a grab for her, snagging her arm. He yanked her closer, but instead of trying to lever himself up, he tugged her to him, tickling her. She wriggled and writhed, her body locked in his strong embrace, weak from her giggles.
Todd finally pulled himself out of the chair frame and tumbled on top of her. Then his lips were on hers, the full length of his hard body pinning her to the cold concrete roof, his heat pressing down as they wrapped themselves together, their kisses slow and deep and barely controlled. Nicola placed a hand against the side of his face, exploring him as a lover, as more than a friend.
This was how it was meant to be. Right here. Right now.
Maybe this time they’d get it right. No pulling away. No running scared.
The hope overrode her fear and she wrapped her legs around him, holding him close, her fingers slipping under his jacket’s hem. His tongue explored hers and their kisses lengthened. He was everything she’d ever wanted in a man. The way he kissed, moved. Gentle, slow, greedy yet patient. Knowing her and therefore intuiting her rhythm and pace.
“Shall we take this inside?” he asked, when the air turned too cool to ignore.
“Yes,” she said, allowing him to pull her to her feet and into the building. Outside her apartment door she paused. “Are you sure?”
“Are you?”
A million worries trampled through her mind and she dragged a finger over his lower lip, her body lined up with his. “How far do you want to go?” she whispered.
His eyes darkened and his hands ran up her sides as he took her mouth in a long, deep kiss filled with so much longing her body went shaky with anticipation.
“I meant,” she said breathlessly, “are we just getting this—whatever it is—out of our system? Or are we doing something more?” She watched the distance build in his eyes. No, no relationship. Why would she even consider that? If she wanted this, then they had to take it slow and without expectations. She had to stick with whatever he was able to give.
But she wanted more than a tumble. She couldn’t risk everything for something meaningless. He was her everything.
“I’m not implying forever,” she whispered, “but if we go any further it’s going to mean something to me.”
He echoed her earlier movement, running a finger over her bottom lip. “That’s why I’ve held back for so long. But I can’t any longer. I want you, Nicola.”
“What do you want from tonight?”
“I want you to talk to me.”
“Right now?”
“In the morning. Don’t stop talking to me.” He gave her another of those soul-searing kisses that emptied her mind of everything but her best friend and his ability to hit all the buttons linked to her libido’s overdrive.
He kissed her again, lightly this time. “Promise me, Nicola.”
She opened her eyes, taking in his intense expression. This meant something to him, too. And right now that was all that mattered. She smiled and opened the door.
“I promise you won’t be able to shut me up.”
* * *
“You feel like everything good,” Todd said, scooping Nicola closer to him on the floor of her bedroom. “Everything I want.”
Everything. She liked the way that sounded.
They’d let themselves go, allowing their history and knowledge of each other take over for the best night she’d ever had. They’d connected, and the resulting power had sent them to the floor beside the bed, completely spent, with sheets and pillows scattered everywhere.
Definitely the best sex ever. Both times.
Her whole body felt alive and she grinned at her best friend. “We’re awesome together.”
“The world had better look out.”
“The neighbors are going to file a complaint.” She giggled, thinking how they’d had to bang on the wall to shut them up a time or two.
“Oops.” Todd kissed her bare shoulder, not even a flicker of regret washing over his features.
She sighed happily.
“We should take a trip,” he said, kissing her shoulder again. She was tempted to roll over and see where his lips landed, but she stayed in his arms, reveling in the way he felt wrapped around her. “Go somewhere fun.”
“Where?”
“I’ve never hiked the Appalachian Trail. Can you get time off work?”
“I’m not sure.” Liar. She knew she couldn’t get enough time to do a decent amount of the trail. In fact, she wouldn’t get that much time off at once until she’d been there for two years. “Probably not.”
“So quit.”
“No.”
He lifted his head to look at her.
She knew she’d given the wrong answer but she was unable to take it back. While traveling the world, they’d taken jobs on and off in different locations, immersing themselves in the culture of their surroundings. Then, when they’d earned enough money to carry on, or the commitment got in the way of more adventure, they’d pick up their bags and travel on. But her job as a community planner in Blueberry Springs felt like something she still wanted in her life, and it wasn’t time to leave. She’d slowly settled into the routine of it, gotten to know everyone on a level she hadn’t while traveling, and it was all reluctantly satisfying.
She bit her bottom lip, watching Todd. T
he job was holding her down, preventing her from being the exciting person he expected. But if they were going to do this—whatever it was—she wanted him to know where she stood. She was still the same old Nic. The gal who planned, put down roots. He knew that.
But she could still have adventures and fun, too.
“It’s a good job. Maybe we could do something else instead.”
“Do you want to hike the trail?”
She nodded truthfully.
“So what’s the problem? Your job?”
“I won’t get it back if I quit.” She’d barely beaten out one of the other applicants, and even if she hit a million home runs, she knew they wouldn’t take her back if she took off in the middle of her current projects.
“So go somewhere else. There are lots of good jobs out there.”
“Blueberry Springs feels like home.” She added quickly, “Does that make me boring?”
She held her breath, fearing his answer. What if he up and left? Could she leave Blueberry Springs for him? For something that might not last? Her chest hurt just thinking of the possibilities, tough choices, and the heartache that surely awaited her if she made one wrong move.
“Incredibly boring,” he said, humor tingeing his voice as he tucked her closer again. “I hate that you get connected to people and places like a real human being.”
She smiled, knowing he was kidding, lightening the mood, but also wanting to believe that rooting herself in one place wouldn’t increase his likelihood of taking off and leaving her behind.
“We’ll figure it out,” he whispered, his expression serious.
“Do you like your job?” she asked Todd after a while.
“Yeah. It’s all right.”
“Would you leave it to return to backpacking?”
“Where do you want to go?”
She yawned and closed her eyes, not wanting to think about them moving in different directions when it seemed like they might finally be coming together. “Nowhere. I’m tired.”
Todd pulled a blanket over them, tucking it around her with care. He gently ran the tips of his fingers across her shoulder blade and she nestled into his warmth.
He asked quietly, “Are you okay with this?”
