“I’d kick your ass, but you’re too damn big, and I’m worried you wouldn’t hold back when you’re drunk.”
Riker nodded. “Yeah. I’d kick your ass.” He was angry enough to fight everything these days, and while he had enough control to hold back generally, he wouldn’t say no to the chance to fight someone on his level, like Rock. That would be fair.
“Get up,” Rock said, putting an arm under his and lifting him.
He felt the mud squelch in protest as it released him.
“Oh, disgusting,” Rock said. When Riker was on his feet, Rock walked him toward a new, silver truck. Rock had gotten an upgrade.
“Looks like work is good,” Riker said.
“Shut up,” Rock muttered. “I’m glad you like it. Now let’s get you home and cleaned up.”
“Yeah,” Riker said. “Let’s get me home. Where I have nothing.”
Rock somehow got him in the car and started down the road as rain began falling. Riker watched the wipers go back and forth. Anything to focus on other than the excruciating pain of his mate being gone.
Countless times he’d wanted to go after her, but she’d made it clear they were done. She didn’t want him around. She could contact him if she changed his mind. But she didn’t want a fucking stalker.
Ugh, the way she’d looked at him when she’d guessed at the mating thing. How had she known?
Still, her reaction had been even worse than he expected.
When they got home, Rock forcibly cleaned him up with ice-cold water and sat him on the couch in the living room.
“Thanks, Mom,” Riker said sarcastically.
“You’ve got to pull it together,” Rock said. “And you have to go get your mate because this is killing you.”
“She doesn’t want me after what I did,” Riker said. “She made that perfectly clear.”
“Then you have to change her mind. Go grovel.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Riker said. “She doesn’t want to stay on my mountain.”
“No shit, she doesn’t. It’s depressing as hell up here, living in the house where her husband was abused, with no one around all the time. That’s why I’m saying you should go down to her.”
“And who will stay here and watch the town? Help the businesses? Get ready for the Brawl?”
“I have someone in mind for the job,” Rock said. “Remember Francis?”
Riker huffed. “The guy who tried to steal my mate.”
“No,” Rock said. “He didn’t try to steal anything. Listen, he won the Brawl, but he likes these mountains. He came talking to me about a year-round job, how he could picture himself living up here. I think after all his city training, he’s ready for some peace and quiet. He asked me if I knew about anything for sale, and I told him I had just the place and he wouldn’t even need to buy it.”
“Buy it?”
“No,” Rock said. “I’m just going to have him stay in it in exchange for doing what little jobs the town demands.”
Riker felt hope swirling in him. Or was that the alcohol? He felt ready to puke. “So I’m free, then?”
“Yes,” Rock said. “And nothing’s permanent. If he doesn’t want to stay, one of us can stay up here. And maybe later on, Ana will want to live somewhere like this. But right now, the best thing you can do is show her, regardless, she means more to you than this mountain. And she should. Because she brought you nothing but happiness, and this mountain has only brought misery.”
Until it had brought him Ana.
Was there really hope? If he showed up groveling, telling her he would live wherever she wanted, would she forgive him for letting them get mated without their permission?
He remembered her face, so cold, so angry.
“That won’t work,” he said. “She won’t forgive me.”
“And you’re just going to give up?” Rock snapped. “Something happened between you two. Something that doesn’t make any sense. I can’t believe you’re just going to sit there and do nothing about it. She is your mate. I know you’re dying inside with her gone. I know it feels impossible to even move, let alone breathe. But think of it this way. Given how you are already feeling, how much worse could it feel to try one more time to get her back again?”
It could hurt a lot. Just seeing her beautiful face, her curvy figure, and knowing she couldn’t be his because of something he’d done.
“Stop it,” Rock said. “For once in your life, man, fight! And I don’t mean a physical fight. I mean putting yourself out there. Giving yourself a real chance at happiness. Getting off this mountain and seeing your mate and refusing to leave until she understands you love her more than life itself.”
Riker felt a little flame of life waking up inside him, somewhere below the alcohol.
“But I’m drunk,” he said, trying to get up and stumbling to land back on the couch. He looked around the living room, which was dark and still and full of luxury furniture that meant nothing with Ana being gone.
“Not right now, you dummy,” Rock said, putting an arm around Riker to help him stand again. “Let’s get you up to bed. You need to sleep, sober up. And I don’t care how bad your headache is. You’re going after her in the morning.”
“Going after her,” Riker mumbled, the words sounding better and better to his mind. “Yes, going after her. Gonna bring her home.”
“No,” Rock said. “To make a home with her there. Because home is where she is. Plant that in your brain, you big, stupid bear.”
“No need to be nasty,” Riker said, rolling over in bed away from his brother.
Still, on the edges of his consciousness, he was vaguely aware it was a big deal for his brother to be here. It showed the kind of feeling his family didn’t often talk about.
“Thanks, Rock,” he said gruffly.
“Save your niceness for tomorrow,” Rock said, equally gruff, though there was an undercurrent of emotion in his voice that would have to go unspoken. “For your mate. Now go to sleep.”
So Riker did just that.
Ana was sitting at her computer, looking at refresher nursing courses the way she had for the past two weeks, when her roommate Molly knocked softly on her door.
“Ana, there’s someone here for you.”
“Really?” Ana asked. She’d already gotten back in touch with her parents and friends since being back, and things had calmed down.
And she was still feeling totally empty and like perhaps she made the mistake of her life by leaving Riker in the mountains.
Molly, a curvy brunette with a soft voice, took a step inside the room, looking over conspiratorially. “And he’s hot. Oh my gosh, he’s so freaking hot. Do you think it’s that guy from the mountain?”
Ana had tried not to give a lot of details, but she’d had to explain to Molly where she’d been for the week, and Molly had gathered that Ana had fallen for one of her protectors.
She just didn’t realize how far.
Ana’s heart began hammering against her chest like a behind-schedule construction worker. She walked to the window and put one hand on the curtain. He wouldn’t be there, right? She almost didn’t know if she could stand to see him if he were.
Still, she gathered her courage and pulled back the curtain, looking down at the porch.
And couldn’t see who was down there.
She cursed softly, walking away from the window and pacing in front of Molly. “I don’t know if it’s him.”
“And you don’t want to see him?” Molly asked patiently. “Do you want me to send him away?”
Yes. No. Who knew? But if he came that far, she should at least hear him out, considering how much pain she was in and how much he was probably in as well. She owed him at least that.
And perhaps there was some way to put this behind her. She’d been blinded by fear in the mountains. Maybe she’d been justified to run, but she’d run all the same, cutting off any conversation they could have had about what happened and why. She’d been too cowardly to hear details.<
br />
But coming back to her life and realizing it was nothing without him made her want to be braver this time.
And he was certainly being brave by being here, if it really was him.
She pulled on a blue jacket, looked at herself in the mirror and straightened her hair, and then walked downstairs. Jeans, a tee, and a jacket would work as well as anything else for seeing the man who still owned her heart, even after breaking it.
She walked to the door and opened it, motioning for Molly to stay where she was, out of the way.
She had to do this alone.
Her heart jumped into her throat as she saw him standing there.
He looked so handsome in a worn leather jacket over a blue flannel and jeans. His hands were jammed in his pockets, his gray eyes desperately hopeful. His blond hair tousled and windswept. He was clean-shaven, which was a new look for her. It made him that much more handsome now that she could see all that perfect, manly jaw.
“What are you doing here?”
He opened his mouth once, shut it, and shuffled from side to side. It was odd to see such a huge man looking so nervous.
She wanted to just kick him off this porch, but a part of her was just so glad to see him that she couldn’t. After all, they’d been friends once.
She folded her arms guardedly and appraised him. “I asked why you’re here,” she said a little more gently.
He looked up at her, oddly haggard. There were lines under his eyes from stress or maybe lack of sleep or both. “I know I’m not supposed to be here. I know you don’t want to see me. I know I’m supposed to let you go after hurting you, but I can’t, Ana. I just can’t.”
She swallowed as he took a knee in front of her, looking up at her with begging eyes.
“You’re my mate, Ana. And if you say no to me, I’m not going to make it. I love you more than my life. More than anything in the world. My life means nothing without you. I’m sorry I let us get mated without you knowing. I know I took that choice away from you, and I don’t blame you for being mad, but—”
“Wait, what?” she asked, pulling on his hand and jerking him to a standing position. “What’s this about mating?”
“I thought you knew,” he said. “I was telling you about it, how I hadn’t meant for it to happen. And I couldn’t stop it, and I should have told you—”
“Wait,” she said, dread flashing through her, swirling with an odd, painful kind of hope. “Wait, wait, wait. I thought you meant cheating.”
His jaw dropped and his shoulders sagged. “What? How could you think I cheated? I haven’t even looked at another woman since you walked into my life. Even before that, no other women drew me in like you did. You were always meant for me, Ana. That was obvious.”
“How could I think that?” she asked. “Because you were acting so guilty and tortured and, frankly, sounded just like Corey with your talk about how you didn’t mean to ruin things for us and you just couldn’t help it.”
“He could damn well help it!” Riker burst out. Then he turned away from her, his hand over his mouth. When he turned back, he was calmer. “So this was all a misunderstanding.”
“Yes,” she said. “Are you angry at me?”
“How could I be?” he asked. “I’ve been dying without you. If Rock hadn’t come and knocked some sense into me, telling me something wasn’t right about the whole thing, I don’t know if I even would have recovered enough to come find you.” He shook his head. “No, I have to think I would have, at some point, crawled up to your doorstep. Because like I said, we’re mated.” He reached for her hands, and she let him take them. It was so warm.
She tried to push away her anger at herself and at him for their misunderstanding. All that mattered right now was this moment, when things were coming together and finally feeling right.
It felt as if a broken bone that had been hiding inside her and poking her at odd moments was finally healing.
He swallowed. “I’m glad I didn’t do what you thought I did, but I still have something to explain to you, and I hope you’ll forgive me after all we’ve been through. Because I can’t live without you, sweetheart. You’re imprinted on my very soul.”
“It’s okay,” she said, squeezing his rough hands. “I’m listening.”
“The first step in mating was sex without protection. I was caught up in the moment and forgot. The second step was when you accepted my bear after my fight with the wolf. That’s why I was distant. Because I already felt bad about the first step, but when I couldn’t prevent the second, I felt like I’d failed you.”
“How did you fail me?”
“You already had enough taken from you. I didn’t want to take anymore. I wanted everything to be your choice, unlike what Corey did to you. I wanted to ask you to be mine and then mate you.”
“So this mate thing, it’s permanent?”
“Yes.”
“That’s magical,” she said. “I’ve never heard anything like it. I mean, I guess I do remember feeling a little weird when we had sex that night. And then accepting your bear felt so right, and I wasn’t sure why.” She laughed. “Now I remember how scared you looked. You were backing away…” Her eyes widened. “Because you were trying to protect me.”
He nodded. Warmth rose through her as if there were a sunrise taking place in her soul.
She ran forward into his arms. “I’m so sorry.” She held him like she never had to let him go and then smiled at the realization that she didn’t.
They could be together forever now.
“Nothing to be sorry for,” he said. “Does that mean we’re okay now? Are you going to let me make you happy forever?”
She nodded against him. “And I’m going to make you happy, too, you big, awesome bear.”
He laughed, a deep, resonant sound, and held her tight, her huge, hard protector with a heart only for her. “I’m already happier than you can ever imagine, just holding you in my arms again.”
“But the mountain,” she said, still holding on like he could fly away at any moment. “What’s going to happen there?” She looked up at him. “You want me to come back with you?”
He shook his head. “I know what you meant about needing space. I don’t want you to have questions later on. And honestly, I’m ready for a new start, too. I want to make a new home, with you.”
“What will happen?” she asked.
“You remember Francis?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“He wanted a job. Expressed an interest in staying on the mountain. He’s going to run things with a little help from Ryland and Riker. They felt like I deserved a break.” He tucked her hair behind her ear and gazed down at her tenderly. “For the first time in my life, I feel like I do as well.”
Her whole body felt warmer the longer they stayed together, a million good thoughts running through her mind, making all the hard times worth it.
He was there. He’d always been faithful. He’d mated her, but that wasn’t all his fault. And besides, it was just… right.
“So if you’d mated me on purpose, you know, like you wanted to, what would that have been like?” she asked, drawing a finger down his chest slowly.
His grey eyes turned to molten steel. “I can show you if you want.”
“Yes, please,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. As she leaned up to kiss him, she felt someone brush past her and looked up to see Molly striding out to her car, giving Ana a wink.
“Getting out of your way,” she said with a wave. “Hope to meet you later!”
And then she was gone, and Riker let out a nervous laugh. “So I guess we have the place to ourselves?”
She felt practically tingly. Nervous and excited at the same time. “Yes.”
“And you’re sure?” he said. “I know it’s fast, and—”
She reached her arms up. “Shut up and take me upstairs. Show me how a bear shifter really claims his mate.”
He scooped her up in his arms, and she nuzzled h
is neck. “Yes ma’am.”
21
Riker carried her up the stairs and nudged open the door to the bedroom, but before he had even reached her bed, he was kissing her. On her neck, her ear, everywhere, and her body was coming alive in his arms.
He set her on the bed and came onto it with her, continuing his relentless kisses as they tore at each other’s clothes, desperate to reconnect after what felt like so much time apart. Too much time.
He pulled off the clothes she was wearing, leaving her in only her underwear, while his hands ran up and down her curves, the rough, calloused skin amplifying the reaction her body had as he kissed lower and lower.
But as badly as she could tell he wanted her, needed her, she needed him, too. With determination, she pulled off the shirt he was wearing, taking hold of his thick muscles, while he undid her bra and tossed it to the side, gentle and hurried.
Everything stopped as his mouth closed over one nipple, suckling hard as her body jolted from the powerful sensation. He didn’t give her time to think, though, as he moved to the other nipple with his lips, his hand cupping her breast where his mouth once was.
This was pleasure. Raw, unleashed pleasure.
For long seconds, he squeezed and licked and sucked, and Ana bit down on her lip to try to contain how impossibly good it all felt. And while she was still distracted, caught up in the way he made love to her chest, she felt his hand come between her thighs.
Her man was everywhere now, flicking his finger up against her clit while his other hand caressed her breasts and tweaked her nipples. All the while, he never stopped kissing her, exploring her belly button with his tongue and running it down the line that ran from the corner of her hips.
And even though all the sensations mixed together like a whirlwind, they were all so distinct that it made her mind short from the intensity. Softness with hardness. Wetness with roughness. Stimulation so powerful she was going to come and caresses so gentle she could hold on forever.
It wasn’t until she felt his hand go beneath her panties and his finger come directly across her clit that she could feel her body on the edge. So very close it was agony not to go over it. And then he took her past, rubbing her at just the right speed with just the right pressure to make her lose control.
Sheltered by the Bear (Trapped in Bear Canyon Book 1) Page 18
