I didn’t have to search for long.
“Liza! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Jill ran up to me in the hall with Nick trailing behind her. I thought I’d gotten used to them being inseparable, but sometimes it still bothered me. Like now.
“Jason told me you were trying to find me. What’s going on?” I asked.
I recognized the guilty look on her face. It was the one she always wore when she was about to tell me something she knew I wouldn’t like. “Well, it turns out Nick’s little brother Colton has a baseball game this afternoon. I’d forgotten all about it, and I promised Colton I’d be there, so do you mind if we go shopping after the game?” She gave me her best puppy-dog pleading look, and I cut in before she could pout her lips.
“You know I can’t do anything on Monday nights,” I snapped. “That is, unless you want to drag my family around with us to go shopping for our family home evening activity.” I threw a dirty look at Nick, whose apologetic expression was so fake it made my blood boil.
Jill’s expression dropped. “Oh, right. I forgot it was Monday. What about tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, maybe we could go for a couple of hours before work,” I said curtly. “Have fun at the game. I’ll talk to you later.” I spun on my heel, not wanting to hear any more excuses or have any more reasons to feel like once again, my best friend was choosing her boyfriend over me.
• • •
When I got home, the house was totally quiet. I peered into the family room and couldn’t believe my luck. Courtney and Alexis were nowhere to be seen. It had become almost a ritual for them to come straight from school to the couch, where they remained fixated on their TV shows for hours. Now I had the TV all to myself and could watch whatever I wanted.
I checked the kitchen to see if anyone was there, but again I found no one. My eyes lingered on a plate of lemon bars set in the center of the counter. Mom had been in a baking frenzy lately, and I suspected she was going for the “cruel and unusual punishment” method of destroying my diet. Unwillingly, I pulled my eyes away from the treats and focused on the computer desk in the corner. I hadn’t checked my Facebook account in hours, and I wondered if there were any updates.
I made my way over to the computer and logged on. After opening my account, I saw that I had one new friend request. I held my breath and briefly allowed myself to hope that it was Luke, but as soon as I clicked on the link, Jason’s beaming face appeared.
Agh! I was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic. It seemed like everywhere I turned, there was Jason! At least he hadn’t texted me again since this morning. Maybe he was waiting for me to text him first. With that comforting thought, I accepted him as my Facebook friend and clicked through the pictures on his profile page. I couldn’t help but smile as I scanned the photos. There was a picture of him sitting on the grass with his arm around a golden retriever, and another picture of four, smiling redheads sitting on the front porch of his house. From the picture, I gathered that Jason had an older sister and two brothers, one older and one younger. Somehow, it made sense that he was a middle child, and that, judging by the picture, he and his siblings were close. There were a few soccer shots, and the final photo was the one he used for his profile picture. It was a headshot, and it was a good picture of him. Even on the computer screen, the sincerity in his eyes shone through.
I lazily scrolled down the homepage, reading the random thoughts and statements of people’s minds, only pausing once or twice to comment.
I was about to log off when a face in the upper corner of the screen caught my eye. It was under the heading “People You May Know.” It was Luke. Even in the tiny picture, his beautiful face made my stomach flip-flop. I clicked on his picture, and my hand hovered over the mouse as I stared at the link that suggested “Add Friend.” It would be so easy—just one click. The thought of being connected to him in even that small way sent shivers down my back. We’d talked enough now that it wouldn’t be weird for me to be friends with him online, would it? I wavered between taking action and doing nothing. The caption stated that we had sixteen mutual friends, so what was the big deal? Just do it! my mind screamed at me, but even as the thought came, I was logging off.
I felt partly frustrated with myself and partly relieved as I walked into the family room. If I didn’t add Luke as a friend, then I wouldn’t have to face the fear of him rejecting me, or worse—accepting me out of pity.
I flopped on the couch while simultaneously clicking on the TV with the remote. The TV was a good way to drown out my thoughts, and I flipped through the channels, searching for one of my favorite shows. Nothing good was on at the moment, so I found something I’d recorded and hit “Play.”
Normally, I let my mind shut off and watched my shows in a half-stupor, but today something annoying kept happening. My thoughts kept returning to some of the things Grandma had said last night about technology and distractions. I tried to ignore those thoughts, but they lingered in the back of my mind until I finally gave up and turned off the TV. Almost instantly my mind quieted. In fact, everything was quiet.
As I sat there, my mind kept turning to Luke and the conversation we’d had today. I couldn’t help but feel goose bumps when I thought of him and those few moments we’d shared after seminary. He had looked at me with such intensity that I couldn’t put a name to the way it made me feel. What else would he have said if Jason hadn’t interrupted us? Why was Luke acting like he was my friend anyway? Was he still looking out for Jason, or could there possibly be another reason?
“What are you doing?” Courtney and Alexis were standing in the doorway staring at me like I was some kind of mutant. I realized how strange I must look, sitting and staring at a blank TV screen. I’d been so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn’t heard them come in.
“Uh, I was just . . . thinking,” I answered, somewhat absently.
“Well, would you mind thinking somewhere else? We want to watch our show,” Courtney demanded.
“Okay.” I stood up to leave, and I could tell Courtney was surprised that she’d gotten away with sounding so bratty. I gave her a half smile as I squeezed past her through the door, but somehow I couldn’t carry the smile for Alexis, who was still staring at me. I heard them whispering to each other as I made my way upstairs.
• • •
Family night was, in my opinion, a total waste of time this evening. Courtney had forgotten she was in charge of the lesson, so she just read an article out of the New Era. I confess I’ve been guilty of doing the same thing, but for some reason tonight it bothered me. She’d spent all afternoon watching TV, and if she’d cut out watching even half of a show she could have prepared the lesson.
I remembered when Courtney used to love family night. After she got home from school, she and Mom would work together on the treat or whatever else she’d been assigned. She used to be so enthusiastic and eager about everything, but in the last few months, it was like she pulled a total 180. Ever since she’d become friends with Alexis, I realized.
As I brushed my teeth later that night, I felt a sense of satisfaction. I’d spent most of the afternoon doing my homework, and for once, I was caught up on my assignments. Ordinarily I procrastinated everything until the last possible opportunity, so having my work done ahead of time made me feel calm and organized. I changed into my polka-dot capri pajama bottoms and matching pink T-shirt and hopped into bed. I loved that it was warm enough to wear my summer PJs again!
I knelt on my bed to say my prayers, but before I closed my eyes, I noticed the mustard seed on my nightstand. All at once, I remembered a story from Primary about a little boy kneeling beside his bed to say prayers even though he was afraid there might be snakes on the floor. I hesitated for a moment, and then sighed and climbed down to kneel on the carpet.
After I was finished with my prayer, I realized that I had been more focused and sincere than I usually was, and that caused me to feel a warm kind of contentment. I wondered if it was because I w
asn’t half-falling asleep like I normally was while kneeling on the soft mattress. It was amazing that something so small and seemingly unimportant could actually make a difference.
I sat in bed, pulling up the covers over my lap, and felt a twinge of excitement as I reached for my scriptures on the nightstand. As I lifted the book, my hand bumped against my cell phone. Seeing it made me realize that I hadn’t had any calls or texts in a while. Jill had been texting me less and less these days, so that wasn’t a huge surprise, but Jason hadn’t texted me either, which was a little strange.
I reached over and picked up my cell, ready to send Jill a text to see what she was up to, but then I realized something. I had my scriptures in one hand and my cell phone in the other. It was like one of those cheesy object lessons, but then I realized with perfect clarity I was demonstrating the point Grandma had tried to make last night. Exerting considerable effort, I switched my cell to silent mode and stuffed it in my nightstand drawer, where it would be out of sight. There. Now I could give my full attention to what I was reading. I smiled to myself when I thought of how happy that would make Grandma.
I had just opened up to the definition of faith when Mom walked in the room. She didn’t hide her excitement at seeing me with my scriptures open, and I suspected she would hurry through our usual nightly routine so as not to break the magic spell. She came over, hugged me, and asked how my day had been, accepting my generic answer that normally she wouldn’t have settled for. She beamed at me and turned on my reading lamp, then quietly turned off the main light and closed the door. I couldn’t help but smile at her retreating figure. Parents were so easy to please when you thought about it.
I turned back to the definition of faith and read each line slowly, trying to internalize the principles being taught. After reading it several times, three ideas stood out to me. First, true faith had to be centered in Jesus Christ. And second, you couldn’t let your faith lie dormant; you had to constantly work on it. And last, true faith led to action.
One phrase really jumped out at me: “Although faith is a gift, it must be cultured and sought after until it grows from a tiny seed to a great tree.”
I picked up the vial with the mustard seed and marveled that if I had faith even this small, I could perform great miracles. If I could see my faith in the form of a seed, I wondered, just how tiny would it be? Would it even be visible? At least it was comforting to know that my faith was something I could work on and help grow.
As I looked at the radiant whiteness of the seed, I remembered Grandma saying that it was unique in its coloring. My eyelids grew heavy, and as I began crossing over into the realm of sleep, the last thing I pictured in my mind was the white flower decoration on the wall of the Young Women room.
Divine Nature
“And I, God, created man in mine own image, in the image of mine Only Begotten created I him; male and female created I them.”
—Moses 2:27
Chapter Eight
Someone was gently tapping my shoulder. I opened my eyes, ready to scowl at my mom and beg for a few minutes more of sleep. But it wasn’t my mom sitting there. I bolted upright and said simply, “You came back.”
Great-grandma Eliza Porter smiled at me, and her brilliant blue eyes seemed to pierce my soul. “Yes, I came back. You learned more quickly than even I expected, and you are ready for your next visit. I’m so proud of you, Eliza.” She gestured toward the glass vial on my nightstand, her eyes twinkling merrily. “I see you found the mustard seed. Tell me what you’ve learned about it.”
I smiled, proud that I knew the answer. “It represents faith, which is something hoped for and not seen. True faith must be centered in Jesus Christ, and when someone really possesses it, it leads them to action. Living righteously increases faith. So does bearing your testimony and hearing the testimonies of others, and—”
“Very good, very good!” Grandma interrupted me enthusiastically. “You really have studied this principle, and I can see you’ve learned a lot. Do you know what impressed me the most?”
I shook my head.
“You were applying your faith even before you discovered what the seed meant. In fact, it’s one of the gifts you’ve been blessed with, and you’ve had it all along! You just needed a nudge in the right direction, as we all do once in a while. I’m proud of you for choosing to follow the prophet and deciding not to wear that tank top, even though I’m sure it wasn’t easy.” She smiled at me. “You also made another good choice by not wasting a lot of time with mindless distractions. Wasn’t it nice to finish your homework early and actually have time to listen to your own thoughts?”
My eyes widened in surprise. “Grandma, how do you know all of this?”
She laughed. “You can learn a lot from the hymns, Eliza. Have you ever heard the line, ‘Angels above us are silent notes taking of every action’?”
“It sounds a little familiar.”
“That’s a line from the hymn ‘Do What Is Right,’ and believe me, it’s true.” She winked at me, but I felt slightly horrified.
Every action? My Primary teachers used to tell me, “Remember, someone is always watching.” The phrase had seemed more like a scare tactic than anything, and I hadn’t given it much thought, but to sit across from someone who actually was watching me was a whole different story! I was relieved that Grandma was recalling some of my better moments and not the time in fifth grade when I got in a catfight with Jenny Jorgensen.
Worrying that Grandma would do her uncanny mind-reading trick and see Jenny’s mud-stained face, I quickly changed the subject.
“Grandma, those choices I made yesterday were pretty small, especially after seeing what Emma went through. Would that really be considered exercising faith?”
Grandma’s eyes lit up. “But of course, dear! The small, everyday actions in our lives are what truly enlarge our faith. It happens little by little, just like a seed grows slowly into a tree. However, there are times in everyone’s life when something major happens to test their faith. Some people have more of these tests than others, but each person’s trials and challenges are catered to them specifically. You can trust that Heavenly Father loves all of His children and has a purpose for each of them. He loves us so much that He sent His Son, our Savior, to suffer for us so that He could help us through the tough times. We don’t ever have to go through these tests alone, and I want you to remember that when you are experiencing your own trials.”
I felt that warm, tingling sensation through my body again. Tears stung my eyes, but I wiped them away quickly before Grandma could notice. She was looking at the seed intently. “Eliza, you’ve done a wonderful job discovering the significance of the seed, but you still haven’t explained one thing: the color.”
I looked at the seed, and then up at Grandma. The last image in my mind before I’d fallen asleep had given me the answer. “It’s white because in the Young Women values, white is the color of faith.”
Grandma beamed. “Exactly! Well done, Eliza. I think you’re ready for your next lesson.” Just as before, everything went dark around us. I waited patiently this time, knowing that the process would last only a few moments. Light began to chase away the darkness, growing brighter until the blurry edges of our new surroundings came into focus.
We were once again outside, standing in some kind of wilderness. Our surroundings seemed much more remote than they had in Pennsylvania. I couldn’t see signs of human life anywhere. We stood on a grassy hill, and from the direction of the sun, I could tell that it was evening. There was a forest nearby, and I could hear the sounds of animals from the distant trees: birds calling to each other, crickets and other insects chirping, and the lonely howl of something I hoped was a coyote and not a wolf.
It was a beautiful area, but not knowing where we were was an unpleasant feeling. I turned in a full circle, taking in the landscape around us, but I still couldn’t find any clues. Finally, I turned to Grandma with raised eyebrows. “Where are we now?”
<
br /> Grandma’s amused expression made me mad. I could tell she was the sort of person who enjoyed riddles and suspense, but I’d never had the patience for things like that. “We’ve gone back a long, long way in the history of the world. Or I should say, the history of mankind.” She gave me a significant look as if I should know what she was talking about. “This excursion will be shorter than the last one because the lesson you need to learn is very simple. I brought you here to see someone, and then we’ll be on our way.”
I looked around once more. “Um, Grandma, I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but there isn’t anyone here. We seem to be all alone.”
“Things are not always as they seem. Remember, patience is a virtue.”
It was obvious that she wasn’t going to give me any more clues, so I did my best to be patient and wait for whatever—or whoever—was supposed to appear.
The sun slowly descended lower and lower until it was just above the horizon, creating a vivid assortment of pinks, oranges, and yellows across the sky. I sighed, wishing I had my camera here to capture this moment. Why was it that pictures never fully recreated what you saw with your own eyes? I’d taken dozens of pictures of sunsets, and they were never as beautiful in photos as they were in real life—but that didn’t stop me from trying.
Grandma and I were sitting side by side in the grass, watching the last of the sun’s final rays, when I heard a twig snap. I looked to the edge of the forest where the sound had come from and noticed a thin trail of smoke rising from somewhere in the trees.
Invaluable Page 9
