Once we were at the mall, it was easier to share Jill’s bubbly mood. It was great to actually be in the store, trying on dresses together. I had already secretly picked out the dress I wanted. It had been in the dress shop window for weeks, and from the time I’d first laid eyes on it, I knew I had to have it. It was a tangerine color with short sleeves and a sweetheart neckline trimmed with rhinestones. The bodice was satin and fitted at the waist. The skirt was full and had layers of iridescent tulle trimmed with satin ribbon. Rhinestones were placed decoratively on the bodice and skirt, which made the dress appear to shimmer under the lights. It was beautiful, and I couldn’t wait to try it on.
I knew the store still had plenty of these dresses in my size because I checked their inventory every time I was at the mall—just in case I had to put one on hold. It didn’t seem like they sold many, if any, of this particular dress, and I reasoned it was probably because of the price. The tag listed the price at a staggering sum of $435, which was more money than I’d ever spent on any one item. But with the money my dad had promised to match, I had more than enough. After weeks of seeing the dress in the window, I was ready to buy it.
“Okay, I’m coming out. Are you ready yet?” I emerged from the dressing room and saw Jill sitting on a chair, waiting for me.
“Oh, Liza, that dress is gorgeous! I love the color; I bet no one else will have an orange dress. It’s so pretty! Come over to the mirror so you can see.”
I smiled at Jill’s praise. She was a great friend to go shopping with because she was always honest when it came to how clothes looked, and I knew I could trust her. I turned and followed her toward the full-length, angled mirror and almost gasped when I saw my reflection. The dress was beautiful, and I felt beautiful in it. It reminded me of when I was little and played dress-up, pretending to be a fairytale princess.
“Twirl,” Jill commanded, and I obliged with a laugh. I was so excited and relieved to have found my dress that I felt giddy. Jill laughed with me and then said, “Okay, well this is so unfair! You found your perfect dress on the first pick, and I know it’s going to take me forever to find one. You have to keep trying them on with me so I don’t feel stupid.”
For the first time, I noticed the dress that Jill had tried on, and I instantly felt sorry for not having noticed it sooner.
“I’m sorry, Jill, I’ve totally been hogging all the attention. Stand up so I can see your dress better.”
“All right, but I’ve already decided it’s not the one. It looked good on the hanger, but I hate the way it fits.” The dress was a pale green satin with short sleeves and a drop waist. Normally, everything looked great on Jill, but this style was not flattering to her figure at all. We both returned to the dressing rooms and continued trying on dresses. Jill would leave the dressing room, continue her hunt, and return with more dresses for us to try on.
“Oh, I think this is the one! What do you think, Liza?” Jill asked excitedly as she stepped from the dressing room.
To spare her feelings, I tried to hide my disappointment. The red silk dress did look great on her, but it was extremely form fitting and low-cut in the back. The dress had spaghetti straps instead of sleeves. I thought she had wanted to try it on for fun, but the look on her face made me wonder if she might really buy it.
“I feel like red is my signature color, and I really want to feel, I don’t know, sexy or something, I guess,” she said as she looked at herself in the full-length mirror.
“Jill, you know your parents would never let you wear a dress like that. Besides, I think it’s almost too bold—it takes the attention away from your natural beauty.”
“Hold on a second. I have something I want to show you and then you can give me your final opinion.” She clasped her hands and looked at me pleadingly. “Just try on that last dress I picked out for you, then I’ll be ready.”
I sighed and relented. “Okay, but we have to hurry because my shift starts in twenty minutes.”
“I promise I’ll be quick!” She darted back into her dressing room, and I hurried into mine. Shopping had been fun, but I was tired of all the zipping and unzipping that getting in and out of the dresses required. I looked at the last dress Jill had brought for me, surprised that I hadn’t noticed it in the store before. It was a sky-blue organza with short sleeves and a fitted bodice that tapered into an A-line skirt. A black satin band trimmed the empire waistline and tied in the back, flowing down to the floor along with the skirt, with black beadwork and embroidery as accents. I looked at the price tag, prepared for a shock, but the price was even more surprising than I’d expected. The dress had been marked down to $175! I gasped and then hurried to undo the zipper and try it on.
“I’m ready, Eliza, are you?” Jill called.
I tied the ribbon and stepped out into the hall where I saw Jill, once again turning in front of the mirror, checking her appearance from every angle. She still wore the red dress, but she had found a matching red silk bolero jacket to cover up the straps and make it modest.
“What a great idea. That jacket looks so cute with the dress.” I smiled at her encouragingly. “And the price is definitely a bonus.” Jill’s dress, including the jacket, was only $80. “I’m so glad you found a way to make the dress work. It looks fantastic on you,” I said. She obviously loved the dress, and I was happy for her.
She beamed. “Thanks! I hope Nick likes it.”
“No worries there. The poor guy will be drooling!”
She laughed and then seemed to see me for the first time. “Uh-oh, Liza. I think we have a problem.”
My eyebrows rose in concern. “What’s wrong?”
“I think I might like that dress even better than the orange one. It’s completely, outrageously gorgeous on you!”
In my excitement for Jill, I’d forgotten all about my dress, so I quickly stepped over to the mirror. She was right, it was beautiful! “Well, I thought I had to have the orange one, but I agree—I love this! And it’s so much more affordable. What would I do without you, Jill?”
She bowed dramatically, and we both laughed as we hurried back into our dressing rooms to change.
• • •
Work was slow for a Tuesday night. I had already cleaned the cabinets and the windows, plus finished my homework, and I still had an hour until closing time.
I reached for my cell, thinking maybe it was time to send Jason a text. I felt bad that he’d avoided me today, and I wanted to make sure he wasn’t upset about something. I could use the dress shopping as my excuse for texting him—not that I needed an excuse—but it made me feel less silly. I wasn’t used to being the one to initiate a text with a boy.
Me: Hey, Jason! I found my dress. It’s blue.
Moments later my cell buzzed.
Jason: Cool. Thnx for letting me know. I was starting to worry that I was bugging you or something.
Me: What do you mean?
Jason: I don’t know. I got the feeling you wanted more space.
I wasn’t sure how to respond. While it was true that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be Jason’s girlfriend, I didn’t mind being his friend. I texted a quick change in the subject.
Me: Sorry! I didn’t know I was giving off that vibe. What are you up to right now?
Jason: Watching TV w/ the fam. It’s hard to find a show my mom approves of. Watching a thrilling episode of The Brady Bunch—& if you repeat that to anyone I’ll deny it to the grave!
I burst out laughing.
Me: LOL! Your secret’s safe w/me. Unless I find a good reason to blackmail you.
Jason: Ha-ha, very funny. Still coming to our game Thurs?
Me: Yeah, if that’s OK.
Jason: Totally! I really want you to be there. I hope I don’t make a fool of myself.
Me: You’ll do great, no worries. ☺
Jason: Thnx. So did you hear that Whitney and Luke won’t be in our group after all?
Me: I heard he was going on a family trip or something.
Jas
on: Yeah, I told him he was a loser for skipping his last prom but, oh well. Our group will be small, but it’ll be fun. I can’t wait to tell you what our day activity is going to be—you’re going to love it!
Me: No fair, making me all curious about it! When are you going to tell me?
Jason: All in good time . . .
Me: Argh! That’s so lame, but I’ll try to be patient . . . I guess. ☹
After a few moments’ pause, I sent him another text.
Me: Well, it’s time for me to close up the shop. See you tomorrow.
Jason: OK. I hope my Brady Bunch confession didn’t scare you off.
Me: Pretty much.
Jason: I knew it!
Me: JK! No, I really have to go, but thnx for chatting.
Jason: See ya, Eliza.
Me: Bye.
I smiled as I closed up the store. My conversation with Jason had put me in a good mood. Maybe I wasn’t interested in him as a boyfriend, but he made me laugh, and I hoped that if nothing else we would end up being good friends.
• • •
As I climbed up off the floor and into bed after saying my prayers, Mom came in the door.
“Hi, sweetie, mind if we talk for a while?”
“No, that’s fine.” I scooted over to make room for her to sit down on my bed.
“How was your day?”
“Long. I’m exhausted.” I couldn’t suppress the yawn that only served to emphasize my point.
Mom smiled sympathetically and leaned over to scratch my back like she used to do when I was little. I put my chin on my knees so she could reach my shoulders better and sighed at how good it felt. She smelled like lavender soap, and the comforting scent made me feel happy and relaxed.
“Did you practice your solo today?” she asked.
“Yep.” Another yawn.
“How did it go?”
“It went okay, but I was a little nervous. I could have done better.” I thought about the flower, which was now safely hidden in my nightstand drawer next to the mustard seed. “I think that maybe my voice is one of my talents, and it felt good to be using it. I’m sure the next time we practice, I’ll do better,” I said with quiet confidence.
Mom squeezed my shoulder. “I’m sure you will, honey. I’m glad that you recognize it as one of your talents, because it truly is a gift you’ve been given—along with many others, of course.”
She reached over and gave me a hug. “I’m so proud of the person you’re becoming. A lot of my friends complain about their crazy teenage kids, but I feel blessed to be your mom. You’re really mature for your age, Eliza, you know that?”
“Thanks, I guess,” I said with a shrug. I felt bad for accepting Mom’s praise without revealing the true reason why I was changing—that it was Grandma’s visits that had opened my eyes. I almost told Mom about my dreams, but I felt like it wasn’t something that I could share easily or that I should share unless the Spirit told me to. These dreams had had a profound impact on me, more than almost anything else in my life, but they were also extremely personal, even sacred, to me.
Mom stood up to leave, but before she closed my door, I called out, “Love you, Mom.”
She blew me a kiss. “Love you too, sweetie. Sleep tight.”
While I was reading my scriptures, my cell buzzed. I realized I’d forgotten to turn it on silent like I’d planned to do when I read, and I was sorely tempted to put down my scriptures and see who was texting me. But I knew that if I wanted to gain anything from reading my scriptures, I had to devote some time to them—without distractions. I had to stick to my goal.
Without looking, I turned the phone to silent mode and stuffed it in my drawer. It took a few minutes for me to turn my mind away from the mystery text and back to my reading, but I finally succeeded and again immersed myself in my study. Even though it was a small thing, it felt good to overcome the magnetic draw of my cell. I felt like I was in control of it, and not the other way around. It felt good.
I had intended to check the message after I finished reading, but once I turned off my lamp, I was so tired that I decided it could wait until morning.
Individual Worth
“Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.”
—D&C 18:10
Chapter Ten
Grandma and I stood in the courtyard of a palace. Until now, the closest thing I’d ever seen to a palace was the Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland, but I knew that this was the real deal. This place made the Disney castle seem like a dollhouse by comparison!
Towering walls constructed of beige-colored stone surrounded us on every side. Tall columns adorned with brightly colored tapestries lined narrow paths leading in various directions, each made of intricately patterned stones. Everywhere I looked, I could see beautiful flowering bushes, but from the amount of dust covering the ground, I guessed that we were in a desert climate.
A wonderfully ornate fountain graced the center of the courtyard, and the sound of the trickling water was loud in the otherwise quiet room.
I turned to Grandma and, knowing better than to ask where we were, simply said, “This place is amazing.”
She nodded in agreement. “This is the palace of Shushan, in the land of Persia. Can you guess why we are here?” She had that infuriating gleam in her eye, but I wasn’t taking the bait this time.
“I have absolutely no idea, but I’m guessing that if I’m patient I’ll find out.”
Grandma gave me a shrewd look. “Not too thrilled with my guessing games anymore, I see.” She sighed theatrically. “Ah, well! It will still be fun to watch your reaction as the events unfold.” She gestured for me to walk with her down one of the small pathways.
After turning the bend around a large, ancient-looking olive tree, I spotted a small cluster of women gathered in a corner of the courtyard. They wore floor-length, long-sleeved dresses made from a pretty, lightweight material, which I guessed was a necessity for such a hot climate. Soft veils covered their heads, but I could tell that they all had dark hair.
As we drew nearer, I counted seven women, all standing in a semicircle with their heads bowed, facing the palace wall. It seemed strange, and I wondered what they were doing and why they were all so quiet. I stopped a few feet behind them, but Grandma nudged me forward. There was obviously something I was missing that she wanted me to see.
Feeling a little self-conscious, I slowly crept closer until I was standing right behind one of the women. I fully expected her to sense my presence, turn around, and demand to know what the crazy girl in her pajamas was doing! However, to my great relief, no one moved or acknowledged me, so I held my breath and peered over her shoulder.
To my surprise, I saw, seated on a small bench in the middle of the semicircle of women, another woman. Her head was bent over her clasped hands, and it was obvious that she was in the middle of a fervent prayer. Her eyes were closed with tears flowing freely from them, and from what I could see of her face, her expression was strained and pleading. I realized that the women surrounding her were also praying, and my heart went out to them. I wondered what the cause of their plea could be.
From the fine manner of the woman’s dress, I guessed that she was a princess, or maybe even a queen, and that the other women were her servants, but I wasn’t able to put the pieces together. I looked at Grandma, and she seemed to read the confusion on my face.
“Are you familiar with the story of Queen Esther?” she asked quietly.
“Is that who this is? I’ve heard the story before, but it’s been a while. I know that there’s a book about Esther in the Bible and that she was an important person, but that’s all I can remember.”
“You’re right. The book of Esther is in the Old Testament, and she was a very important person. Let me give you a brief account of her story so you’ll understand what you’re about to see.” Grandma’s voice took on a narrative tone. “Esther was an orphan. She was raised by her cousin Mordecai, and they were both Jews. The ki
ng of Persia found disfavor with his wife and divorced her. Then he sent out a royal decree seeking for the fairest virgins in the land so that he could choose one to be his new queen. Many people refer to this as the first beauty pageant ever recorded.” Grandma chuckled, and I laughed too—it did sound a little like the Cinderella story.
She continued. “Many women were chosen from all over the kingdom and brought to the palace for a training of sorts. Esther was among them, and she quickly found favor with the king. I don’t think you were able to see her face a moment ago, because if you had, you’d realize that she was uncommonly beautiful.”
I glanced back at the group of women with renewed interest. I hadn’t seen Esther’s face clearly, and I was eager to get a better look.
“As you can guess, King Ahasuerus chose Esther for his queen, and he grew to love her. However, Mordecai warned Esther not to reveal to the king that she was Jewish. Mordecai himself worked within the king’s household and knew the dangers that would accompany such a revelation.
“The king had appointed a man named Haman to be above all the princes and nobility in his court, and he commanded everyone to show reverence to Haman by bowing to him. But by Jewish standards, bowing to Haman would have been considered an idolatrous act, and so Mordecai refused to bow to him. When confronted by the other servants about the matter, he revealed that he was Jewish.
“Haman was furious at Mordecai’s refusal to bow to him, but instead of going after Mordecai, he decided that all of the Jews in the empire should be killed. In a devious manner, he met with the king and led him to believe that the Jews were unruly and had to be exterminated. He offered the king a large amount of money for the royal treasury in order for the deed to be done, and the king agreed. A decree was sent out ruling that on a certain day all Jews—men, women, and even children—were to be killed. When Mordecai learned of the decree, he asked Esther to go to the king and reveal that she was a Jew and tell him that if his decree were to be fulfilled, she and all her kindred would die. In a very thought-provoking way, Mordecai posed this question to her: ‘Who knoweth whether thou are come to the kingdom for such a time as this?’”
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