by Ace Gray
“It’s already done. I took care of it.”
“God damn it Bryant!” I banged my fist on the doorframe as I walked out of the closet.
Nick caught up to me, grabbed my wrists, and, with a twirl, pressed me up against the nearest wall. My body hit with a thud. I was about to snap at him when his lips snatched mine. He kissed me desperately then pressed my ass firmly up against the wall. I yelped into his open mouth.
“People will be here soon…” His breath was warm against my lips. “…but if I have to remind you to check your temper with another spanking, I will.” He took my lips again and used his knee to spread my legs apart.
“People, including your mother.” My words were jagged, a little pained, and a lot breathless as I tried to shove on him in between kisses.
“I'll make sure to be extra quiet.” He dropped my wrist and slid his hand between denim and my naked skin, angling to slip between my thighs.
“Nick, I have to cook.” It was a pitiful plea.
“Fine,” he said nonchalantly as he yanked his hand out of my pants, dropped the other one, and seamlessly turned me toward the door.
He chuckled and my knees wobbled as I shuffled toward the stairs. When I was almost out of reach, he smacked my ass all the same. I yelped and jumped as my hands naturally covered my backside before skittering down the stairs.
“Not sleeping well are you?” My best friend Laura, complete with frosty martini in hand, slunk up as I put the finishing touches on squash.
“Why do you ask?” I tucked my chin, knowing full well I’d spent far too long trying to cover up the dark circles under my eyes.
“I’ve known you for a very long time. You cook when you need to unwind. And you get wound pretty tight when you don’t sleep.” She looked at me sideways over the rim of her glass.
“I’m cooking because it’s Thanksgiving. Call me sentimental.” I arched an eyebrow at her.
“You get emotional when you’re tired, too.”
“Fuck off.”
“Language.” She took another sip. “It’s a holiday after all.”
“So I should get a free pass,” I said then changed subjects. “Who’s the guy?”
Laura had shown up with a cute guy who was nowhere near her usual fare. I hadn’t even paid attention when she introduced him, knowing full well he wasn’t Mr. Right, he was just Mr. Right Now. Generic guys were becoming more and more commonplace of late.
“I told you, he’s Gabriel. He’s an investment banker. We’ve gone on a few dates.” She pinched her eyebrows.
“A few dates and you bring him here?”
“He’s from Vancouver. He doesn’t have any family here and he’s kind to me.”
“Kind, huh?” I rolled my eyes, sure kind had nothing to do with it.
“You’re a jerk.”
“Funny, last Thanksgiving you were in a serious relationship, and I was the slutty one with the bad attitude.”
She turned and walked away without a response. I looked up, watching her return to our family. Right before her hand slid around Mr. Right Now, she flipped a very pointed bird in my direction.
My eyes wandered across the faces filling my home, searching for one person. Deep down, my body knew Nick wasn’t in the room simply because the ever present tingle that accompanied him wasn't humming across my skin. When I noticed Jaime was gone too, I bit my lip.
Shit.
As if on cue, Nick’s stormy eyes, and Jaime’s furrowed brow ducked out of the office, neither of which reassured me. My eyes met Nick's for the briefest moment. He had to see my unasked question but simply turned away. For the first time I got the feeling it actually meant not now rather than don't ask. I appreciated that development but it didn't stop my mind from spiraling.
I dropped my gaze to the food at my fingertips as my mind tripped over the list of things he’d mentioned this morning. My shoulders tensed with each item, threatening to swallow the hoops I was wearing, until strong hands slipped around me, and Nick nuzzled into my hair.
"What's up baby?" I exhaled deeply as I twisted to kiss his jaw.
He didn't answer, instead he purred quietly so only I could hear. My body reacted, my nipples pressing against the leather of my shirt. I was trying to contain the natural rock of my hips when one of Nick’s hands slipped below the waist of my pants. I gasped. Our family was just feet from us and his roving hands, their conversations still going strong. Scarlet spread like wildfire across my skin and forced my eyes to fall to the countertop. Anyone would see sex written plain on my face if they caught my gaze. The change of view was zero help; potatoes two ways was sitting where my bare ass had been just a few hours ago.
My temperature skyrocketed as his hand leisurely skated from hip bone to hip bone. I did my best to answer a question Ari yelled. I barely managed words before giving up completely and collapsing back into Nick’s chest. Mercifully, everyone was absorbed, paying me absolutely no mind.
I wiggled against him and he laughed lightly. I was both embarrassed and turned on. His hand slid lower, shielded from view by the breakfast bar as I whisked gravy. My whisk chattered against the metal when he hit his mark. No one flinched as I tried to pick it back up. My butterfingers dropped it all over again; I was barely able to breathe as he gently stroked me.
Nick was killing me, and his bastard-ass chuckle said he knew it too. He went so far as to start up minor conversations with the others; his posture seemed natural and his voice completely even. I nodded along hoping no one would ask me a question, sure my voice would betray me if they did. I didn't know how I would keep the inevitable orgasm quiet if he kept up.
The elevator dinged mid-stroke and Nick's mother stepped off. His hand froze. I didn't know if I wanted him to finish or get his hands the fuck out of my pants so I could attempt respectable. He made the decision for both of us and pulled out. I couldn't help the heavy sigh that left my lips as he untangled himself and circled toward the elevator.
But just beyond the breakfast bar he stopped and turned back toward me. Nick waited the slightest moment to catch my eye. He pressed the fingers that had been inside me past his lips and into his mouth. He purposely hummed then added a sultry, “Delicious" as he arched an eyebrow.
It wasn’t possible for me to turn a darker shade of red.
"Are you stealing bites?"
Neither of us had noticed Ari rising to greet her mother. She was close enough to overhear Nick’s comment and elbow him in the ribs. I coughed loudly, choking on a knot of embarrassment and lust. Nick didn't miss a beat though. "Yes I am. The gravy is wonderful." He winked over at me and my whole body blanched.
I'll kill him.
He seamlessly turned to his mother and hugged her. When she pulled back, she looked him up and down.
“Nicholas. Is what Frank said true?” Julia’s eyes were cloudy; so similar to Nick's when he was agitated, but a flat and far more sad color.
"I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mom.” His perfectly crafted mask fell into place, saying he knew exactly what she was asking.
Julia greeted Ari with a big hug around the shoulders but her gaze stayed fixed on Nick.
"Nicholas Bryant,” Julia snapped and Nick's hand rose to his temple and rubbed.
“Mother,” he mimicked her tone perfectly.
“What’s going on?" Ari chimed in and the two of them were exact mirrors as they narrowed their gazes in his direction.
"Not now,” he growled.
That tone gave away everything, and made my stomach churn.
Christopher.
As they continued to pepper him with questions, their faces pinched, and Nick deflated. My heart tore a little for all the burdens he carried. His shoulders slumped and his eyes were flat. A few weeks ago, I would have badgered him to tell his mother and sister the truth, now that I knew more, I just wanted to defend him.
"Julia." I forced a smile as I set down my whisk and rounded the breakfast bar. "So glad you could join us."
Her perfectly polished smile pulled into place and she reached to gather me in a hug. I managed to keep a perfectly passable look on my face even though our hug felt wrong. Forced. Her snipping at Nick bubbled up a bitter taste in my mouth.
I thought I’d let any pique with her go, but there it was, snarling in my chest. Apparently, I was still conflicted over her roll in Nick’s past and our current problems. I creased my brow as I rubbed her back gently and focused on Nick over her shoulder to avoid more awkwardness.
He mouthed I love you when our eyes met and my whole body relaxed.
When I pulled away, Nick took Julia’s elbow and introduced her to everyone. Julia was undeniably sweet and perfectly at ease despite what had transpired moment’s ago. Her socialite mask was so perfectly polished she beamed. Because Christopher was back in the mix, the mask bothered me more than usual today.
Luckily, dinner kept me occupied. If my fingers were busy, it wasn’t so hard to focus my mind. I was finishing plating when Julia wandered back into the kitchen.
"I'm very thankful for you young lady. For the life you've given my son."
She carried a flute of fizzing pink bubbles as she patted my shoulder. I shied away from her touch the slightest bit then forced myself to stand still.
“I can’t imagine my life without him.” I didn’t have to force the response or smile as my eyes shifted to where Nick was laughing by the bar.
“Darling, I know you’re upset with me.”
“I…That’s not…No…” My eyes dropped back to my fingers while they worked.
“It’s okay, Kate.” She watched me intently. “I get angry with myself sometimes too.”
My head snapped up to find her eyes. They gave things away just like Nick's, and I hoped they'd give me clarity now. Something about her serene but sad look reminded me of Nick's when he needed consolation. My wall melted. The words were out of my mouth before I gave them much thought.
“Why you don’t you just leave Francis?”
“Ari said Nicholas told you everything. That’s what this is about?” She sighed a sad sigh as I nodded. “Because I’d do anything for my children. Then, and now.” She shrugged as if it was a simple, obvious answer. “It wasn’t until you that I trusted Nicholas was taken care of. But it worries me there’s still so much trouble. And I lose sleep over Ari every day.”
“We can take care of Ari.” My voice was quiet but urgent, hoping I could finally be the one to help her see.
“Someday when you’re a mother, you’ll understand. Anyone and everyone can tell you they’ll take care of your children, but until you feel it in your bones…” She shook her head and a smile danced on her lips again.
“I’ll have to take your word for it.” I couldn’t help but scoff.
“You and Nicholas will be lovely parents. You’ll have breathtaking children.” Her voice lightened completely and her excitement mirrored Ari’s uncontrollable jitters.
I finally found a full-blown smile for her. It was accompanied by an incredulous laugh and severely crinkled eyebrows. Julia laughed along and I breathed a sigh of relief that we’d landed somewhere far less heavy.
But when I really thought about parenting, I couldn’t stop laughing. Julia looked quizzically at me and, when I shook quite thoroughly, she took the plates out of my hands and over to the table. My palm pressed into my chest as I bent over and slapped my knee with the other.
“What are you cackling about?” Apparently, Laura had forgiven me even though her voice had gotten snarkier since switching to tequila.
“Julia thinks we’d be good parents.” I still couldn’t right myself.
“That is hilarious.” She started laughing with me, throwing an arm around my shoulders and pulling me into the dining room to feast.
3.
I was near comatose in the theater room after dinner when Julia bent over the chair Nick and I were cuddled in. As soon as she said she was leaving, Nick’s eyes went lifeless and he slipped out from behind me. They wordlessly walked out with Ari close on their heels. Everything in their posture read defeated.
My insides churned. Did I follow Nick? Or did I give him space since he hadn’t pulled me downstairs with him? When shouting drifted up from the living room, I was up and out of my chair before I made a conscious decision, bolting down the stairs.
“Hey,” I hissed as I skidded down the last few, “everyone can hear you.”
“I’m not overly concerned with what they can and can’t hear,” Julia snapped and I arched back like I’d been slapped.
What the hell?
“Don’t yell at her. She's right. This is family business.” Nick came to my side as he came to my defense.
“So you admit that it is, in fact, my business?” Julia arched an eyebrow in Nick’s direction before adding a small, “Sorry sweetheart” in mine.
“We need to know, Nicholas,” Ari piped up.
“Neither of you need to know. It should suffice when I say I'm taking care of it,” Nick growled beside me.
Of course I knew how infuriating that answer was but I had no desire to fight with Nick. And honestly, at the end of the day, I had every faith that he would, in fact, take care of things. I stayed silent.
“I don't need to be pandered to,” Julia said harshly.
“Me neither Nicholas.” Ari's tone dropped.
“Can’t we just let him handle this?” I hadn't meant to sound so flippant, or roll my eyes.
“That’s easy for you to say, Kate,” Julia sneered. “You know what this actually is.”
“Yeah, he tells you everything.” Ari crossed her arms on her chest.
“Yes, I do,” Nick growled, “and I will continue to do so.”
“Nicholas, Kate hasn't seen it first hand. She hasn't felt it all bear down on her.” Julia was growing louder again. “And you’re going to tell her and not me? You’re going to let me walk into trouble unseen?”
Julia didn’t follow up with a small apology this time and defensiveness flared in my chest.
“That’s not even remotely funny, Mother. You know I wouldn’t let that happen. And Kate knows a rough outline. She's had her fair share of trouble because of the Bryant name. I had to tell her something.”
He let out a deep sigh and stepped away, pulling both his mother and sister into a giant hug.
“Mom, I had to placate Kate.”
My mouth dropped.
“It was the only way to get her back.”
I vividly pictured slapping him.
“It’s the only way to appease her temper. If she really understood, like you do, she'd let me handle things. She can be nothing if not dramatic.”
Hurt replaced my trademark temper and threatened to consume me. For a moment, I was drowning in it. Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes, and I had to bite my lip to keep it from trembling.
“Nicholas!" Julia shouted at the same time Ari mumbled, "Dumbass."
"Nicholas Bryant, I taught you better than that. Don't ever belittle a woman,” Julia shrieked. I couldn't find my voice.
"I wonder if Kate even has a temper when she's not dealing with you, fuckface,” Ari added.
The ball of emotion in my throat was slowly choking me.
“You two stop. Now,” Nick growled. “Mother, I will take care of whatever Frank mentioned. Ari, I will take care of you.”
Ari’s face pinched and Julia shot Nick a withering look, holding his gaze even as she started speaking to me.
"Kate, I'm sorry about snapping. I’m sorry about everything today." Julia frowned and let her hand rub down my arm reassuringly before turning to sweep into the elevator. Ari was still mumbling under her breath as she turned toward the stairwell. I watched both of them go, wondering who I should stomp after. Anguish and fury each screamed different directions.
"Kate?" Nick's tentative tone told me he could see the tension rolling off me in waves. Something about that tone made me break.
“You've been appeasing me?” I didn't eve
n recognize my voice. “You don't really give a shit about being equals?” My words were short and choppy.
“Kate.”
“Don’t Kate me!” My vision was tunneling. All I could see, all I could feel, was a black inky ball of heartache that enveloped me. “After everything? After FUCKING everything, I'm still just a possession to you?” I hadn’t made the conscious decision to scream at him, but there I was, screaming.
“That’s not what I…” Nick stuttered before I interrupted.
“What is it going to take?” I shoved against him. Ari had circled back and Laura was jogging down the stairs, both piping up trying to diffuse the situation. When I went to shove Nick again and he swiftly captured my wrists, they started shouting and grabbing at him. Neither stopped him from using his grasp to shove me up against the wall.
“I’ve told you everything willingly. I just wanted my mother to leave it be. Believe it or not, I still don’t like sharing this shit with everyone. She'll let me take care of it if I say the right thing."
“Well why the fuck say that?” My voice broke.
“Because I thought you would know the truth. We’ve talked about trust a million times and you always read me so well." The blue in his eyes and the loosening of his grip told me it was true. He really had thought I'd understand.
“You thought I knew better than to believe you when you say our reconciliation was built on lies?”
“Yes. You know me better than myself.” Nick let go of my wrists and I rubbed each one tenderly.
“According to you, actually, I don’t understand. I can’t.” I sneered on the word.
“It’s my mother that can’t understand. I swear,” he pleaded with me.
“So make her understand. Make her leave that house.”
"She's my mother. I can suggest and beg and plead but I can't force her. I’ve been trying for fucking years, Kate.”
"Sure you can, Nick. It’d be one of the best ways to wield your high handedness."
"Is that what you think of me?" he snarled. “You think I’m arrogant and temperamental? Why the fuck are you with me, Kate?”
