by Allen, Dylan
I hadn’t wanted to turn him down. But maybe it’s for the best.
It was wrong of me to watch him in his car. Clearly he drove around the corner to be alone. But…no. Turning away had been impossible.
The sight of him stroking himself riveted me. I couldn’t have turned away to save my life.
Then, the way the veins in his neck had bulged and how his mouth dropped open before he lifted his shirt and came all over his ripped stomach. I almost came, too. I should have run as soon as it was over. But I couldn’t move. And then suddenly his door opened and there I was.
The girls at school have always called me fast. But I’m not. I’m as pure as the day my mother pushed me into this world and I’ve yet to meet a boy who has made me think he’d be worth the trouble that sex always seems to bring.
But after seeing Remi… he looked so beautiful. And his dick, oh my God, my mouth waters. I swear my brain sent a message to vagina that said “soul mate”.
Because it quivered. Lord. Maybe those girls were right and all I needed was to get my first glimpse of a dick I actually liked. Because I am feeling mighty fast.
Sweet’s annoyed, determined face comes into view as she strides toward the kitchen.
“Noooo, please don’t say I’m serving them,” I plead as soon as she steps through the door.
“Come on, they’ve got a huge party, your section’s empty.”
“God, no. You don’t understand.”
She frowns at me.
“No, you don’t understand. You don’t have a choice. Serve them or go home.” She crosses her arms and waits for me to concede.
I sigh and deflate in resignation.
“Fine. But I won’t be responsible for anything that happens.”
“Oh, yes, you will.” She walks out of the kitchen and then steps back in, her pretty face full of sympathy. “Just help them with the drink orders to start. I’ll see if I can get someone to switch with you.”
“Okay. Thanks. You’re a doll.” I squeeze her.
“No, I’m a woman. And I know how it is when you want to avoid a man.” She smiles knowingly and strolls out.
I follow her and walk over to the table and keep a smile on my face as I approach their table. When Remi sees me coming, he smiles and waves. I’m so surprised by it that I drop my notepad. I hear a snicker from the table and a flush creeps up my neck.
I start on the side of the table farthest away from Remi. I can feel him trying to catch my eye and I don’t let myself dare look at him. When I finally get to his side of the table, the side of my face feels hot.
“Hi, Kal,” Joni says sweetly and links her arm through Remi’s. I force my eyes back to my pad.
“Hi. What can I get you?”
“We’ll have a double root beer float,” she says and gestures between her and Remi.
“We don’t have those here,” I say flatly.
“Oh, that’s too bad. We had the best one on Tuesday night at Fuddruckers.”
“That’s nice, sorry I can’t help you recreate the memory,” I say and Remi pulls his arm free of hers and shifts in his seat.
“Can I get you anything from our menu?” I ask and try to blink away the mist of tears that blur my vision.
“Sure, I’ll just have a diet coke. And I’ll take some calamari to start.”
“I’m only taking drink orders. I’ve got your diet coke.” Then I steel myself and look at Remi.
I want to laugh at myself. There’s no steeling myself when it comes to him. Every single time I see him, I get weak in the knees. Even when he’s hurting me.
“What can I get you?” I say without looking up from my pad.
“Will—”
“Excuse me, but why can’t you take my appetizer order?” Joni her fake sweetness from earlier has a serrated edge to it now. She puts her hand on my arm, and I turn around to face her and step out of her touch.
I point to the girl at the other end. “She’s taking those. She’ll be here in a minute.”
“I want you to take it. I don’t understand why you can’t.”
“Joni,” Remi says in a low warning voice.
“No, really. I’d like to know why you can’t write calamari down on your little pad and then put the order in when you get back there.” She raises her voice and I feel the eyes of the rest of their party on me.
“Joni, she’s only taking drinks,” Remi says.
“I can speak for myself,” I say quietly. It’s humiliating enough without him rushing to my rescue.
I look Joni in her maliciously gleeful, dark blue eyes and wonder why she seems to dislike me so much. She’s the one sitting next to Remi.
I’m the one serving him.
I want to shove my little pad down her throat. But, I like this job and the extra money means I can save faster.
Eyes on the prize, Kal.
“You’re right. I’ll put it in.” I scribble it down, smile and leave without taking Remi’s order.
I walk away with my back as straight as possible.
“Kal, wait,” Remi calls after me. I turn around and see him striding after me, his face a mask of determination. I pick up the pace, rip the drink order off my pad and drop it on the bar as I zoom past. I’m heading for the safety of the door marked Employee Only.
I press the four-digit code and slam it shut right in his stupidly gorgeous, scarily determined face.
I sit there for five minutes, collecting my thoughts, catching my breath, and praying for the serenity not to throw her drink in her face when I deliver it to the table.
It doesn’t matter if he’s here with her. I told him I just wanted to be friends. Who cares if I can’t remember why now? He obviously took me seriously. She’s more his type, anyway.
The breakroom door opens and I jump up out of the chair and sigh in relief when it’s one of the servers.
“Is there a guy waiting out there?” I ask as she walks past me.
“Nope,” she says and opens her locker.
“Thanks,” I say and hurry out. As soon as the door closes behind me, he steps out from the shadows. My heart leaps into my throat and I glare back at the door. “That liar.”
“I paid her ten bucks,” he says and shrugs unapologetically.
“She shouldn’t have done that. You could have been my stalker, for all she knows,” I hiss.
“We went to school together. She knows I’m harmless.”
“So basically, she doesn’t know you at all.”
“Why are you mad at me?” he asks.
“You disappeared on me. You stopped coming to the store just because I only wanted to be friends.” I step around him.
I’m already at the bar and trying to figure out which of the trays of drinks are my order when he comes to stand beside me.
He wraps one of his big, warm hands around my bicep and turns me to face him.
“Kalilah.” He puts a finger under my chin and lifts my face so I have to look into those dark eyes.
“There’s no fucking way that could ever be true. I wouldn’t do that.” His voice is low and quiet. His eyes soft, but intent on mine.
It thaws some of the cold that’s gripped my heart all week.
“So where’ve you been?” I ask and pull out of his grasp because I can feel people looking at us.
“They changed my schedule at the store. I wake up at five in the morning and work until one. Then I’ve got practice from two to five every afternoon. Then, I have to work out. By the time I eat, shower I’m barely coherent. I’ve been falling asleep by nine thirty every night.”
“Oh, okay.” I drop my head and release a breath I feel like I’ve been holding for a week.
A ring of laughter that I know is Joni’s washes the temporary relief his words brought.
“Glad you made time for your date.”
His eyes widen and his grin is huge.
“What are you smiling at?”
“You’re jealous.”
“You wish. You shou
ld go and sit down.” I snap at him.
“Only if you promise to talk to me later.”
“After your date?” I say pertly and turn my back to him and pretend to start checking my order. I wait for him to walk away. He comes and stands next to me.
“How many times are you going to count those drinks.”
His teasing tone is too much because I am jealous and I have no right to be. But I can’t help it.
“You’re going to get me in trouble,” I complain.
He stops laughing and steps back. “Can we meet tonight?”
“I’ll be asleep.” I cross my arms.
“Oh, Kal, you’re so stubborn.” He taps the tip of my nose before he turns and walks away.
He takes a few steps and looks over his shoulder. “But, so am I.”
And with a wicked grin, he turns and walks back to the table.
8
FOOL FOR YOU
KAL
I am no stranger to disappointment. I trained myself at a very young age to expect it. But, somehow, this hurts in a way that feels selfish and indulgent. Remi taking Joni out isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. So, why am I lying on my bed sobbing my eyes out like I’m the victim of some teenage melodrama?
The sharp rap at my window startles me mid-cry and I sit up and stare at the drawn blinds. I must have imagined it. There’s no way anyone’s out there. I stand up though and walk over to it.
I’m just starting to pull on the cord that opens it when the knocking sounds again. I yank it open and gasp when I see Remi perched on the trellis that’s under my window. His face is covered in sweat and a grimace of exertion on it that belies the idea that he’s simply floating. I yank the window open.
“What are you doing?” I yell at him through the screen between us and a quick scan shows me it’s held in place by screws that prevent it from being removed.
“Your mother wouldn’t let me up. We need to talk.”
“About what? Your date?” I frown at him.
“As glad as I am that you’re jealous, I’m also not trying to die.”
“Then get down. That thing is going to break.” I yell.
He shakes his head, a bead of sweat runs down his forehead. “Not until you say you’ll come out and talk. Otherwise, you’ll have to live with the knowledge that you were responsible for the broken leg that ended my basketball career.”
“You shouldn’t joke like that.” I glower at him.
“I’m not. This thing is flimsy.” He glances down nervously.
I narrow my eyes at him. “You’ve got five minutes.” By the time I’ve started to drop the blinds, he’s gone.
I slip my feet into my docksiders and run down the stairs.
“He made it up, I take it?” my mom yells as I run past her office. I come to a skidding stop and walk back toward the office. I stick my head in the door. She’s got her glasses in her hand, a stack of papers in front of her.
“Yeah…” I say uncertainly.
“I told him to go home. I guess he doesn’t listen any better than you,” she says, her voice drips with disapproval.
“You think I shouldn’t go talk to him?” I ask her even though I can see the answer in her eyes.
“You want to talk to him?” She quirks an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” I answer with no hesitation. I’ve been wanting to all week.
“Then it doesn’t matter what I say. Just… whatever he says, Kal. Make him prove it.” She looks at me meaningfully. “You’re worth the work.”
I run into the room, circle her desk and throw my arms around her neck and hug the woman who is responsible for all of this.
“I love you.” I know she doesn’t love hugs, but sometimes, I just need to give her one.
She always lets me.
And then she shrugs me off.
“Don’t stay out there too long,” she calls after me as I head back out of the door.
I run across the long black-and-white tiled floor. As soon as I pull the front door open, Remi’s standing there. He’s wearing jeans, his white T-shirt is smudged with dirt and torn on the right shoulder.
“I can’t believe you climbed that thing.” I shake my head at him in disbelief, but a smile has worked its way on my face and it’s so wide my cheeks hurt.
“I had to get to you.” He says, his smile is just as wide, but his eyes are smoldering. “Hey, Will.” He says huskily.
“Hey.” I’m nervous suddenly. I didn’t expect him to really show up.
“Can we sit?” He nods at the swing seat where I sit to write every night.
“Sure.” He grabs my hand and links our fingers. It feels so good. I fold my fingers over his hands and hold on, too.
As soon as we sit down, he lifts our joined hands to his lips and presses a kiss to mine. His touch burns in the best way; a jolt of sweet heat runs up my arm and I wish he’d do it again. He lifts his dark, normally so hard to read eyes, and he looks at me through the lush dark sweep of his lashes.
“Joni and I—”
I bristle at the mention of her name. “We’re just friends, Remi. You don’t have to explain.”
He grabs my other hand; his expression grows intent.
“We’re not just friends, Kalilah.” The timbre in his voice, him using my full name, the look in his eyes, makes my heart race.
“We’re not?” My voice is just above a whisper.
“No. We’re not. And it’s not something we can help.”
I hear that. It resonates through me like the vibrations of a ringing bell.
“Yeah, it’s like we just—”
“Get each other, right?” He finishes my sentence.
“We don’t have to explain. We don’t have to pretend. It’s just… good. I like you… a lot.” Those words do something to me, make cracks in the protective layer I’ve put around the most sensitive parts of my heart.
“I like you a lot, too,” I say.
A cocky smile tips up the corners of his lips.
“I know you do… And even though I’m glad you’re jealous. I shouldn’t have joked about it.”
“Your mom probably likes her,” I grumble.
“But I don’t like her. Not like that. I did take her to get a burger, but it wasn’t a date. We were working on something and got hungry. Tonight, we had a founding family meeting at the club and decided to grab dinner afterward. No date. It was a group of us.”
Relief softens the tension in my shoulders. “I thought…”
“Our families are old friends. I don’t want her. Not at all. But I do want you.”
My heart is pounding so loud that I’m sure he can hear it, too. I don’t know what I expected him to say, but I didn’t expect this. I stare at him, eyes wide, my mouth open and elation starting to brew inside of me. Is it possible, really…
“Really?”
His eyes soften even more, and he smiles.
“Yes. Really. I mean, I honestly wasn’t sure what we should do. I’m going away to school in the fall, you’ve got another year here, but so what? It doesn’t mean we can’t have fun this summer.”
The way my heart is pounding scares me. This can’t really be happening. “Really?”
“I kind of pride myself on being in control … but I can’t control the way I feel about you.” He strokes the inside of my wrist and I shiver.
“You have feelings for me?” I croak, my throat is suddenly parched.
“I have since we met in the library.” His voice is deep, soft and yet his words boom inside my head.
“Me, too.” I say. My breaths are coming so fast that I feel dizzy.
“And all I want right now—even when I’m supposed to be apologizing and trying to do things the right way—is to know what your lips would feel like if I kissed you.”
I look down at our joined hands because I don’t trust my eyes not to show him how I’m feeling. I’m sure it would scare him. That blooming of happiness, the shifting of my vision from cloudy to
rosy, accelerates, and I decide to take this offering and run with it. While I gather my courage, I trace the veins that crisscross the back of his large hand and count to five.
Then, I surprise myself with my own boldness. “Well, then, why don’t we kiss? Get that out of the way, and then you can finish apologizing.”
He smiles. His free hand slides up my arm, a trail of gooseflesh rises in its wake and by the time he reaches my shoulder, my entire body is vibrating.
“You are so beautiful, Kal. Every single part of you.” His eyes never leave mine and between the spell they’re casting and the heady sensation of his touch, it’s a wonder I haven’t melted in a puddle. He leans forward and presses his lips to my forehead.
“This mind that is so curious and full. I could talk to you forever and never get tired of it.”
He kisses my cheeks.
“Those dimples that tell me when you’re laughing because you think it’s funny or because you don’t want to hurt my feelings and tell me how lame my joke is.”
I giggle at that because as much as I bust his chops, there are times when I do laugh when it’s not really that funny. “You’re so sensitive I don’t want to hurt your feelings…” I stroke his hand.
“I’m not sensitive, but fuck if you’re not so damn sweet.”
“No, I’m not, Remi.”
“I think you are.” He leans forward and I close my eyes. He drops a kiss on my eyelids. “These eyes that see things most of us miss and are the windows to every single one of your thoughts.” He presses our foreheads together. “I’m sorry I put hurt there tonight.”
My heart races so hard but I can’t speak, my throat is clogged with emotion. No one has ever spoken to me like this.
“And these lips, that fucking freckle. They’re a work of art and I’m a little scared of what will happen when I finally kiss—”
I lean forward and press my mouth to his. His lips are beautiful, too. They’ve got a deep bow on the top and are full and lush on the bottom and I’ve been dreaming about kissing them.
He groans and cups my face with both hands, holds me there and kisses me like no one has and I suspect no one will again. I’ve imagined this. I’ve dreamed of it. I thought I knew what it would feel like. But this… Remi’s kiss… It feels like coming home and going on an adventure all at once. Safe and reckless. Weightless, but so firmly rooted to this moment. And when he runs his tongue over my lips, I open for him.
