by Nella Tyler
Still, I couldn’t stop my mouth from watering as he sunk his teeth into a spicy shrimp taco. He caught me staring too and offered me a bite with a simple gesture of his hand.
“I don’t know,” I said, non-committal. “You’re kind of sweating and red, so I really don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it.”
“That’s not the shrimp,” he joked, “I’m just a natural blusher.”
“Whatever.” God, he was so sexy when his face was painted fifty shades of cherry red. The very thought that something—whether or not it was a food—could render him powerless was an amazing thought. The big, ol’ badass Caleb was sweating like a whore in church. “Just take a bite. It’s not like it’s going to kill you.”
“You never know,” I pointed out. “Haven’t you ever seen the show A Thousand Ways to Die? You’d be surprised at all the things that have been responsible for the ending of someone’s life.”
“You’re being really dramatic.” He chuckled as he shifted the taco towards me. It was too tempting and I leaned forward to take a big bite. It was just as delicious as I imagined it to be, with an instant but pleasant jolt of spice against my throat. I savored every last bite with closed eyes as he pulled his hand away from me. “For being so hesitant, you seriously look like you’re on the edge of an orgasm after just one bite.”
My eyes bolted open. “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” he bit into his lower lip, looking all sexy. “It’s a beautiful sight.”
“That’s because you have really dim lighting in here.” I pointed to the barely-glowing chandelier above us. “You can’t see all the flaws in the darkness.”
“I can see enough.” He dropped his taco onto his plate and folded his hands into each other as he stared into my eyes. “And I love everything that I see.”
“You’re being too kind.” I cocked my head at him. “What are you up to?”
“Nothing.” He threw his hands up in the air and laughed. “I promise.”
“Hope to die?”
“Stick a needle right in my damn eye.”
“Please don’t do that.” I smiled and sat back in my chair, admiring the view. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”
“Really?” He arched one brow and pointed to the chandelier. “The lighting isn’t the best in here.”
“Maybe we should take this to the kitchen, then?”
“Or…” He slid backwards, his chair screeching against the hardwood floor, and climbed to his feet before flipping the dimmer on the light switch up. Suddenly, the room was lit with the potency of the morning sun. I squinted my eyes trying to adjust to the light. “We could just turn this light on.”
“I actually had ulterior motives,” I said as I stood up and passed him. I hooked my finger at him, gesturing for him to follow me into the kitchen. “I’m really looking forward to dessert.”
“Right,” he added and followed me into the kitchen. “I had forgotten about the brownies.”
“Well, it’s a good thing someone remembered.” I forced my hand into an oven mitt and bent over at the stove. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that he was checking out my ass, and I didn’t mind in the slightest bit. My biggest fear in accepting his invite tonight was that I was going to give into the fantasy playing in my head. I still hadn’t reached that point, and I didn’t intend on reaching that point, but I also knew that there was nothing wrong with teasing.
I reached into the oven and retrieved the fresh batch of gooey brownies, placed them on the stove, and then spun around to find him standing well within my personal bubble. “What are you doing?”
“We should probably let the brownies cool down,” he said with a gentle shrug and a smile that hitched from one corner of his lips to the other. “They’re too hot to eat.”
“That’s the plan.”
“Do you mind if I—”
“If you what?”
“This.” Without hesitation, he leaned forward and planted the shortest of kisses against my lips. It was quick and gentle, and was more than I had bargained for, but not nearly close to what I craved. “That.”
“Okay.” I nodded, and before he could respond, I was standing on the tip of my toes, landing a kiss against his lips. It had been so long since I had tasted him, so long since I had kissed him, so long since he had knocked me up, and I couldn’t control myself any longer. I craved his kiss for so long and when the opportunity presented itself, I wasn’t even close to being strong enough to deny it.
One palm dropped to the small of my back before he scooped me into his strong arms and carried me backwards until he sat me on the counter beside the stove. When I landed against the counter, I had no time to regain my bearings before his lips were pressed against mine, but this time he went past the surface as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He grabbed me at the back of my head with steel hands and held me in place as he devoured me with his tongue.
I arched my head away from him as he dropped his mouth to plant a trail of kisses along my bare neck, and as I stared over his broad shoulder, I realized that we shouldn’t be doing this. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I knew the situation could easily escalate, and that’s the last thing I needed, even if it was the one thing I truly wanted.
“Caleb…” I said softly, still not sure if I even wanted to stop him. “Caleb, wait.”
“Yeah?” He pulled his head back and panted. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Okay,” he nodded before leaning back towards me.
I threw my hand against his chest and held him in place. “It’s just that… I’m not staying the night.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t want this to progress.”
“I know.”
“Is that okay?”
“It’s more than okay.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “Just stay long enough for brownies?”
“Yeah.” I smiled nervously at him. I knew the longer I stayed, the more likely I was to give into the temptation. I knew that the longer I stayed, the more likely I was to inadvertently spill the beans about the pregnancy, and I wanted—no, needed—to be one hundred percent one way or the other before I told him about the fact that I was carrying his child.
“Shit,” he said as a precursor for an obnoxious yawn. He dropped a hand to each side of my body on the counter and yawned again. “I’m going to make some coffee; do you want some?”
“And be up all night?” I questioned with a chuckle. “No thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” He pushed himself away from the counter and spun around on his foot to face the other side of the counter where one of those fancy, one-serving coffee machines were. There was a rack full of single serving cups and he seemed to grab a random one before popping it into the machine. After placing a cup under the machine, he hit a single button and the coffee began brewing in an instant.
And the smell…
A smell I once adored and cherished suddenly made me nauseous. I clenched my jaw, and then clenched my throat, but it was already too late. I threw one hand over my mouth and jumped to my feet before fleeing from the kitchen and straight for the bathroom.
I ripped the bathroom door open, ran inside, flipped the toilet seat up, and projectile vomited into the toilet. I’ll save the details, but I felt better in an instant and flushed the toilet before returning to the kitchen to find a bewildered Caleb. I had no idea how I was going to explain this to him…
“What was that about?”
“I… I got sick.” I said as I leaned backwards against the counter and tried to catch my breath.
“Are you okay?” he questioned with a look of concern on his face. “Was it the food?”
“No.” I felt sick again, but tried my best to fight the urge to throw up. I could feel the wetness welling up in my throat as a precursor for another round of throw-up. “The smell of coffee makes me sick.”
His eyes did acrobats as he tried to make sense of what I had just said. “I see
you drink coffee all the time.”
I couldn’t stick around long enough to continue the conversation. I darted away from the kitchen and him once more with my hand once again covering my mouth. I barely made it to the toilet in time and hunched over the bowl as I vomited. After this expulsion of puke from my body, I collapsed to the floor and hugged the toilet.
Caleb’s shadow stepped over me, but he didn’t say anything. All he did was hold my hair as he took a kneeling position behind me.
“Shit,” I groaned as I pushed myself backwards into his embrace. My mind was swarming, running on high alert. He had to have known something was wrong. I only hoped that he was wrong about whatever and he didn’t know I was pregnant.
“Are you good now?” he questioned and I nodded slightly.
“As long as I’m not around coffee anymore.”
“Let me help you to the couch and then I’ll go toss the coffee down the drain.”
He shifted so that he stood in front of me and helped me off the floor. Once again, I was seeing another side of him that I didn’t know existed. In fact, before that night, I would have insisted that side of him certainly didn’t exist, but he was hell-bent on proving me wrong.
Gently, he assisted me to the living room and onto his couch. He placed a bottle of mouthwash beside me on the end table. I leaned back against the comfortable leather as he disappeared into the kitchen. When he was gone, I glanced over to the mouthwash and decided to cleanse my mouth. If anything, having to taste the vomit was only going to make it more likely that I would throw up again. I could hear him pouring his freshly brewed drink down the drain before he emerged with a trashcan in his hand, which he sat at the edge of the couch.
I leaned forward and spit the mouthwash into the trash can as he joined me on the couch with his hand pressed against my back, massaging the tense and aching muscles. “Seriously, what’s up? Are you sick or something?”
“Yeah… something.”
“Was it the food? I promise you I’m not going to be offended.”
“It’s not the food,” I promised him and squinted my eyes shut. I fought hard against telling him the truth, but it was a losing battle.
“Then what’s wrong?”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. Instead, I opted to stare into the near distance with a blank expression. “I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 29
Caleb
“What?” I screamed, or at least I think I screamed. In an instant, my mind was clouded with confusion. “What did you say?” I questioned softly, trying to play off my shock better than the first go around. I felt nauseous and dizzy—what a pathetic image, of a man basically forged of steel about to bow over at the knees at hearing one single, simple word: pregnant. “Are you seeing someone else, or is it mine?”
She glared at me before swatting me in the chest. “I’m going to get ice cream.”
“Ice cream?”
“Yeah.” She climbed to her feet and rushed towards the kitchen. “It’s the only thing that seems to settle my stomach.”
As soon as she disappeared into the kitchen, I rose to my feet to follow her into the brightly lit room. A million thoughts charged through my mind. I wanted a family so fucking bad, but I was also pretty sure that I was heading to the slammer, whether or not I had actually done anything wrong.
“Why are you following me?” She questioned as she ripped the stainless-steel freezer open and searched for a carton of ice cream. “Rocky road, my favorite.” She pulled the small container from the refrigerator, ripped the lid off, and then threw it in the trash.
“I… I’m confused.”
“About what?” She focused her eyes on me as she dug into the ice cream with a metal spoon.
She was acting strange, completely out of character. “About the pregnancy. It’s mine, isn’t it?”
“Would you stop?” she scolded me before shoveling a bite of the dessert into her mouth. “Stop saying it. It’s either a boy or a girl.”
“Which is it?”
“The hell if I know.” She shrugged with apathy, but I could tell she was sinking into the floor. She wanted to be anywhere other than in that kitchen with me having this conversation. “Look, I didn’t mean to blurt that out.”
“Whether or not it was intentional, it’s out on the table now.”
“Can we just pretend it isn’t?” She sat the container and spoon down on the counter and took a measured step towards me. “Can we just pretend?”
“No.” I shook my head defiantly. “Our lives are changed forever. We can’t go back.”
She wagged her finger at me. “That’s what I was afraid of.”
“The hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth.” She groaned and threw her head back in aggravation. “I need air. I need to breathe real, actual air.”
“There’s a balcony—”
“I know,” she said before bolting out of the kitchen and heading for the balcony right off the living room.
I chased her again, following her out the double French doors until I was met with a blast of cool summer air. “I’m trying real hard—”
“It’s so beautiful out here.” She spun on her feet to face me, trying to change the subject, but there was no way I was going to let that happen. “The city at night.”
“What are you doing?” I questioned, more than a little annoyed that she opened a can of worms she now wanted to close. “Don’t answer that question. I know exactly what you’re doing.”
“This isn’t easy for me.”
“Do you think this is easy for me?” I pursed my lips and combed one hand through my short, tousled hair. “How long have you known?”
“Not that long.” She exhaled nervously. “Three weeks.”
“You should have told me,” I said lowly, trying to mask the hurt and anger I was feeling. “How could you keep this from me?”
She rolled her eyes and combed her hands through her hair before blowing out a nervous breath. “It was the same day your world came crashing down. I didn’t want to pile anything else on top of that.”
“I find that a little hard to believe.”
“Fine,” she scoffed. “I wasn’t sure I wanted you to know.”
My throat dropped into my chest as it dawned on me that her admission really was nothing more than an accidental case of word vomit. She might have never told me, and that hit me where it hurt. “You weren’t going to tell me…” I said softly, but it was less of a question and more of a realization.
“I’m sorry.” She sniffled, and for the first time, under the light of the city lights, I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. More than that, I saw how anxious and fearful she was. “I’ve thought so much about this and I still can’t figure out what the hell I want, or what I’m going to do.”
There was a question in the back of my mind, and I had to ask it. It was a deeply uncomfortable question that I’m not even sure I had the right to ask. “Were you thinking about getting an abortion?”
She locked her eyes with me and shook her head gently. “That was never an option.”
“Okay.” I nodded, taking it all in before I took two measured steps towards her and met her against the railing of the balcony. “Whether it’s a him or a her, I want to be in this kids life, but with everything going on…” I couldn’t continue the sentiment. I was on the verge of tears. I silently cursed at myself for turning into what I would normally call a crybaby, but I was overwhelmed with emotions. This was a side of me that I never let anyone see, and I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready for Lindsay to see it.
But she saw it. She saw right through me like I was an open book. She could see the fear in my own eyes and moved to protect me from the emotions that threatened to tear me apart from the inside. She threw her arms around me. Standing on her tippy toes, she whispered into my ear, “I promise you that you’re not going to jail. I promise that I’m going to find out what’s
going on.”
Her touch was comforting, but her words were even more comforting. It was like our gender roles had been flipped and she was my protector. That’s not something I’d usually be okay with, but in that moment, it felt right. Everything felt right.
“I promise,” I said, lowly and in a sincere whisper, “that I’m going to support you no matter what.”
She sniffled once more before pulling back from my embrace. She craned her head upward and stared into my eyes, threatening to pull me inside out. I didn’t mind, but I was back in protector mode, and I knew in that moment that I wanted nothing more than to protect her from the fears taking over her heart and mind. I lifted her chin gently with one hand and panted a short kiss against her lips.
“Stay with me,” I whispered, but it was more of a plea. The truth is that I was freaking the hell out and the last thing I wanted or needed was to spend the night alone. “Stay with me tonight.”
“Okay,” she nodded and smiled faintly. “Just for tonight.”
“One night at a time,” I assured her. “We’re going to make it one night at a time.”
And as she stared up at me, I lost all self-control and landed another sweet, perfect, passionate kiss against her cherry lips.
The world felt right for the first time in three weeks.
Chapter 30
Lindsay
He looked at me with something crazy lurking in his eyes, something dark and lustful. Something that told me this situation was about to escalate, but it’s not like I minded. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I was glad he had said he was willing to step up, and more importantly, he wanted to. My biggest fears seemed to vanish because he wanted to be in my life, and he wanted to be in my kid’s life. There he was, standing in front of me, baring his soul, and I finally saw the Caleb I had always dreamed to exist.
And when he scooped me up into his big, strong arms, I wasn’t surprised. I had seen it coming from the way he looked at me. But the lust… it was something different than every other time. There was something more intense, something almost more animalistic, but at the same time, something more tender. Maybe it was the way he carefully carried me to the door, and was even more careful as he pushed the door open.
