by Nella Tyler
“Well, I think I might have been wrong. Can’t I be wrong?”
“In your line of work, no. In your personal life, I guess a few misjudgments are okay.”
I rolled my eyes as Kassie came running over to us. She informed us that she was exhausted and needed a drink of water. Once she was finished, Michelle suggested that we go to a movie, and I was happy for the distraction. It was a kid’s movie, but they were usually pretty cute and Kassie was excited about it.
After the movie, I was driving back to my house when Michelle asked if we could go by her house. I agreed, even though I didn’t want to, and turned down the familiar road that seemed to somehow lead to a whole different life.
I stopped in front of the house and Michelle started to get out of the car.
“Where are you going?” I asked, grasping her shoulder.
She turned around and glared at me, trying her best to figure out why the hell I was stopping her. “I want to go look around my house, is that okay?”
Realizing how stupid my reaction must seem from her perspective, I freed her shoulder. “Yeah…of course. I just…it could be dangerous.”
“I think we’ll be fine.” She huffed and helped Kassie get out of the car.
I knew I should go with her, if nothing else for moral support, but my stomach knotted with guilt at even the thought. Nonetheless, I got out of the car and followed behind her, trying not to think about the last time I was here.
Yet, the closer we got and the more we walked around the house, with Michelle looking wistfully at everything, the greater the intensity of my memories became. I remembered his scent, the feel of his touch and the sound of his breath against my ear. I remembered the feeling of excitement and danger that was present, leading to the wonderful reward.
I knew it was wrong, but the only thing I felt as the memories became clearer in detail with each sweep of my gaze was bliss.
Chapter 29
Tim
When I woke up the following day, I felt odd.
In a way, I was giddy and excited, having shared such a wonderfully unique night of passion with Jenna. At the same time, I was conflicted.
However, hearing the familiar sounds of my father getting up for the day reminded me of the true reason I was her, in this town, that I now also had conflicting feelings about. Pushing the multitude of thoughts from my mind, I got up, hastily got dressed, and rushed downstairs to help my father out of bed before he attempted the feat himself.
“Good morning!” I called positively as I entered his room.
He stared up at me, grumbled, rolled his eyes, and looked away from me. “Mornin’…” he huffed, as though having to respond to me this early, before his coffee, was physically painful.
I smiled, crossing the room to help him, strangely untouched by his callousness. After all, he did at least answer me and by now, I was getting accustomed to the long bouts of silence between us. I would much rather have that than argue, and besides, it was simply another day.
Nothing ever changed in this town, from the ice-cream parlor to the people, so why the hell should I expect a miraculous change of heart from dear old Dad?
Instead of allowing myself to focus on the negative, I went through the motions of the morning – preparing my father’s pills, making him breakfast, and eventually setting him up in his recliner.
When I checked my phone after breakfast, I realized I had a text from Donovan, telling me that we need to have a conference call immediately. A sinking feeling crept into my chest and my breath heaved unmercifully out of my chest. I swallowed hard and texted back that I would be ready in twenty minutes.
After telling my father I would be back as soon as possible, I rushed to the coffee shop, parked my equipment in my usual corner, and ordered a coffee. I was earlier than normal and lucky enough to miss the morning rush, so the café was far less busy than I was used to it being. I tried to take this as a good sign.
Noticing I was a little bit early, I took the time to refocus, enjoy a few sips of my coffee, and relax.
I didn’t want to seem bothered by the SOS text message. I needed to remain professional at all costs. After all, I was the leader. I had to show strength because if I didn’t, I was certain that everything I had worked so hard to achieve would instantly fall apart.
Once I found a headspace that allowed me to deal with whatever issue had come up, I initiated the conference call. Carly answered first, followed almost immediately by Donovan.
“Hey, guys! What’s up?” I asked, trying to get to the bottom of the problem hastily.
“Hi! How’s your father doing?” Carly asked and I tried not to roll my eyes.
“He’s fine. Doing well and recovering at a pretty consistent pace,” I answered, “What’s going on?”
“We have a little issue. I heard from the client last night. He moved the deadline up to Saturday…says he needs the program to work for something he is doing on Monday, and he wants time to have his techs look over it. I don’t know. Anyway, he says if it doesn’t work, the deal is off,” Donovan replied.
Fuck! I thought as his words sunk in. I only listened to him long enough to get the main point of what he was saying. The reason didn’t matter.
Mentally, I took a deep breath, calmed myself, and prepared for a decent answer.
“Well, then we’re going to have to make it work,” I told them, inciting a sense of panic that I could feel all the way from the small café.
I felt similarly, but we were talking about a multi-million-dollar deal. If this fell through, not only would we lose out monetarily, word would spread of our failure and the ripple effect could be catastrophic.
It was a lot of weight on my shoulders, dropped like an anvil on a cartoon, but like every cartoon I had ever been forced to watch, I knew that I would always get back up.
“Don’t worry – I’ve got this. Thanks to Donovan’s breakthrough, I’ve been wading through the problem, and I’ve almost got it figured out. All I need is a little bit of time.”
Both Carly and Donovan remained unconvinced.
“Okay,” Carly exclaimed. “We’ll keep things running on our end. Just let us know as soon as you figure it out.”
“Yeah. If we have any more major epiphanies, we’ll be sure to let you know, too,” Donovan added snidely. I knew that the comment wasn’t directed at me. Hell, I felt the same way but right now, anger and aggravation wouldn’t solve anything. I needed to plow through this and figure it out.
Once the company was a few multi-million dollars richer, fortifying our reputation in the industry even further, it would be a cause for celebration. I refused to think of it any other way.
So, as soon as we ended the call, I ordered another cup of coffee and went to work on the program. Slowly but surely, I saw improvement; but by lunchtime, I was far more jittery and hungry than accomplished. I rubbed my eyes as my attention was returned to the time and instantly annoyed by the noise that was seeping through my headphones.
Looking around, I noticed that the lunch crowd had descended upon the coffee shop and that I probably wouldn’t be able to focus until they were gone. So, I packed up my equipment and got into my car. I knew where I was headed before conscious thought consumed me.
Throughout the entirety of the morning, I noticed that my calm and my focus was rooted in something other than determination. Sure, I had a fire lit under my ass to get this damn program functional before Saturday, but my main motivation wasn’t that fire – it was a passion of a completely different sort.
Even in the deepest caverns of my focus, when I usually shut the rest of the world out, there now remained a singular thought that I found both inspiring and annoying.
Jenna.
I thought about the way she felt, pressed against me. I thought about her sweet caress, her taste, her breasts her lips, her warmth. I thought about her arms encircling me. I thought about her voice, her body, her essence, and all I wanted was to be near her.
Thus, I
knew I needed to clear my head, so I drove around, pretending my path was aimless, and ended up at the hospital.
I texted Jenna asking if she could sneak away and received a text back a few minutes later, telling me to meet her in the cafeteria for lunch.
Cafeteria food. Yuck! I thought, but didn’t vocalize my complaint. Instead, I dutifully got out of the car and met her.
When she saw me, she embraced and kissed me briefly before turning to get a tray. I followed her actions, feeling like I was back in grade school, following a crush down the lunch-line. Granted, the choices varied from pizza, slop of the day, and corn, but since I wasn’t exactly sure what was good, I basically stuck with my old-school lunch favorite.
“You know, you can get actual food here, right?” Jenna teased, scoffing at my square pizza and chocolate milk.
“It’s a cafeteria. They’re all the same. If I learned anything from our one-horse grade school, it’s that pizza day is the best.”
She chuckled, but didn’t retort until we got in line to pay. “What? No cookie?”
“Ehh…I figure my lunch date is sweet enough,” I answered smoothly, causing her to blush slightly as I incited a cute noise from the cashier.
“You’re such a dork,” Jenna teased. I felt my jaw drop as flashbacks from school started to hit a little below the belt.
“Excuse me!” I responded. “I am a nerd, not a dork. There is a distinct difference, and I embrace my nerdiness entirely. It has made me a millionaire.”
Jenna laughed and rolled her eyes in a manner that made me think she had something else to say to me, but refrained. I was surprised at how glad I was.
For the first few minutes, we ate in silence. I tried to think of something to say, but simply being close to her was something that pleased me and calmed my aggravation. I usually was uncomfortable with silence, but at the moment, I found it strangely fitting.
Eventually, though, I looked up to see Jenna eyeing me suspiciously. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Everything is fine, why?” I replied, taking my last bite of pizza.
“You seem…quiet.”
“I’m eating. And thinking.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Work stuff…”
“Anything I can do to help?”
I thought about throwing a cheap shot, telling her that unless she can configure this stupid program faster than I could, then no, but decided against it. Instead, I did something that was foreign to me. I decided to tell her the truth.
“Actually, yeah. Maybe.”
“What’s wrong?” She tilted her head to the side and gazed deeply into my eyes. I was taken with her genuine interest in wanting to help me. It was something that I wasn’t exactly accustomed to, likely because I never let anyone get that close.
“Okay, so…I deal with a lot of high profile clients, right? Well, this one client has moved the deadline up significantly and now I have to figure out an already problematic program by Saturday. Between the lack of internet connection, the loud coffee shop, and the actual problem with the damn thing, I feel like I’m taking on an issue that can’t be fixed.
“To make matters worse, it’s not just a regular deal – this is a multi-million-dollar project. Failure isn’t just a sucker punch to my reputation; it’s a stab in the back that will bleed into other areas of my company and could easily be lethal.”
Jenna didn’t respond right away. Instead, she allowed everything I said to sink in and she thought about it. I had expected some kind of reaction, especially at the words multi-million dollars, but assumed she was using a stoic tactic she had learned from being a doctor.
After a long moment, she finally spoke.
“Tim, from what I know about you, I am sure this is not the greatest challenge you’ve faced. After all, you went against the odds, basically taught yourself what you needed to learn about technology, growing up in a town that practically fears it, and made something of yourself – not only here, but in California, where there are plenty of people with far better resources and technological advantages than you ever had.”
“Sure,” I replied, still not fully understanding her point.
“So, you didn’t give up then, when you didn’t actually know everything.” She chuckled. “Why the hell would you give up now?”
I grinned at her logic. “I’m not giving up. It’s just not often that I am challenged.”
“Challenge is good. It keeps you humble, but it also sharpens your wits. I don’t know a lot about what you do, and I’m sure I could never truly understand it, but what I do know is it’s a fierce business. One slip and you could slide all the way back down the ladder that you fought, tooth and nail to climb.”
“Thanks. That’s inspirational,” I quipped.
“Well, it should be because you’ve worked too damn hard to let this one problem get the best of you!” she retorted almost angrily before she reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “Tim, I believe in you. I know you will figure it out. You’ll find the answer and you will do so well before Saturday.”
“Thanks,” I replied, knowing that the response I gave didn’t give justice to the confidence I gained from her advice. After all, the only other person in the world who had ever spoken to me like that had been my mother. She hadn’t understood anything that I was doing either, but her faith in me and my abilities had been unwavering.
Still, as if she knew me far better than I thought anyone did, Jenna seemed to already know all of that. Coming to that conclusion, I was plagued with a now undeniable, terrible realization. I had successfully avoided this confirmation for about two weeks now, but in this moment, I found it was inescapable – especially with the feeling of contentment filling me.
Shit! I thought. I’m falling for this girl!
Chapter 30
Jenna
When I arrived at work the next day, I couldn’t help but notice that Raymond was a lot more talkative than he normally was.
“Good morning, Jenna.” He grinned. “How is your sister holding up?”
“As good as she can,” I answered honestly. “I’m not exactly sure that it has sunk in yet.”
“The rebuild tomorrow will probably bring out a lot of emotions,” he offered. “I would understand if she doesn’t even want to go.”
“No, I think she will want to be there. She’s the kind of person that wants to help…and micromanage,” I offered jokingly, raising a shoulder apologetically, “Sorry.”
Raymond laughed. “That’s fine with me. I have similar goals. I’m looking forward to managing people while I drink beer and tell them to hurry up!”
“You damn Yankee,” I teased. “Y’all are always in such a hurry to get things done.”
He let out a deep, genuine chuckle, and I realized for the first time that we were actually becoming good friends. I had teased him without thinking about it and he had taken it well. That was a good sign.
He was quiet for a moment before starting up a fresh conversation with a new cup of coffee in-hand. “So, what about you?”
“My house is about to explode, but it’s all right.”
“No. Not your house. Your plans. I’ve been meaning to ask you, but there’s been so much going on lately, I feel like I haven’t had five minutes with you.”
“I know. It’s been crazy,” I admitted as I thought about what to say. “Well, to be honest, I’ve always dreamt about becoming a doctor full time here, but I understand how steep the competition is.” I grinned, trying to give him an out so he didn’t have to let me down awkwardly.
To my surprise, however, he grinned widely when I said this and his eyes glistened with sincerity. “I will see what I can do to ensure that happens. I would love to see you get a full-time position here. I think you would be a great asset to the hospital. Plus, I enjoy working with you.”
“Really? You would do that for me?”
“Of course, but don’t get me wrong. You deserve it. I’m not doing you
any favors. You work hard and if this is the hospital you want to work at, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be welcomed with open arms.”
I grinned and felt like hugging him, but knew that was probably pushing the level of comfort we were achieving. “Thank you so much!” I expressed before we both headed off to do our rounds.
Another expression of his sincerity was before the start of the rounds; Dr. Pierce offered me half the charts and explained that he thought it would be a good idea for me to get used to doing some rounds completely by myself.
I must have looked as mortified as I felt because he simply laughed, reassured me that I was fully capable, and told me that if I had any problems, I could always call him. I looked at my list and realized these were all new patients.
“Yes, I know. That’s why I gave you this list. I want you to go in there fresh and assist them as if you weren’t shadowing anyone. If all goes well, I would like for you to continue keeping these patients under your care until they are released.”
“Dr. Pierce—” I began, but he interrupted me.
“You did a wonderful job with Mr. Meck, so much so that Tim thought you were his father’s leading physician. He had no idea who I was. You did a wonderful job.”
“I never meant for that to happen.”
“I know that, Jenna, but I’m glad it did. It showed me that you are more than ready, and besides, if we get finished early, I can get started on that beer. Really, it’s a win, win!”
I went through the list carefully, making sure to take notes and listen to everything, from the symptoms they were complaining of, to any other factors I could pick up on. Each and every patient had something that I recognized easily, even though I double checked. While I was going through the list, for the first time, I felt like a real doctor.
Although I had treated patients before, having my own patients was a whole new experience for me and I loved every minute of it.
I almost didn’t want to break for lunch because I was having so much fun. I finally felt as though all of my hard work was truly paying off and that I had, after a lot of turmoil, gotten to a place where I was happy and balanced with my life.
