She didn’t hear Jeremy come up behind her since he was in his socks, but she felt his presence, large and comforting, even though he was part of her confused frustration. He squatted beside her and took the matches from her. “I promise you, whatever you tell me, I’m going to be fine with it. Do your worst, kitten.” With a flick of his wrist, he lit the match and cupped it in his capable hands, leaning in to set it against the kindling she’d placed there earlier.
She stayed on her knees, her whole body trembling. She wasn’t scared, exactly. Worried he’d be offended, even though he said otherwise. And even though she knew, in her heart and in her mind, that this small piece of what she wanted was a normal part of many, many relationships, she feared he’d find her desires appalling. She swallowed hard and made a decision.
Once the fire was going, he moved to stand in front of her reading chair. He held out his hand as if to draw her to her feet, but she shook her head. “No.” She looked up at him, swallowing the fear back. “I like it here, on my knees. I don’t know why, but I do.”
“I like that too.” His eyes flashed hot, hotter than the fire blazing beside him. He dropped to the chair and leaned forward, his knees splayed wide, his hands hanging loosely between them.
Which did nothing to hide the blatant arousal behind the zipper of his jeans.
He groaned, and she tore her eyes away, looking up into his face. His cheeks were flushed. “You’re killing me here, sweetheart.”
She jerked. “I’m sorry?”
He laughed, but the sound was rough and uneven. “I’m not. Come here, kitten. Right in front of me, on your knees. Now.”
Her heart went into overdrive. Yes. She scooted forward the two feet that separated them.
“Closer.”
She moved until she was right between his legs, sitting on her heels, anticipation making her dizzy. It was easier with him giving her orders. It felt right, in spite of the fact that...no. Just...no. Not going there.
“Before we go any further, you need to know the most important rule of the life I live. I need you to trust me on this. If you want to stop what we’re doing, you say red and everything stops. Doesn’t matter what it is, doesn’t matter when it is. Got it?”
She cleared her throat and nodded. “Why can’t I just say...never mind. Red.”
He put his hand under her chin and locked eyes with her. “Because sometimes, things can get intense and you may cry stop when you really mean please don’t stop. Because I care for you far too much to risk harming you, either mentally or physically. Safe words—words that won’t get confused with any other words—are important, kitten. Especially when all this is new to you, new between us.”
Her breath shuddered. “I trust you, Jeremy.”
He leaned forward and dropped a kiss on her lips. “I’m glad to hear that, sweetheart. That means a lot to me. But you still need a safe word. Remember how I said you have to give me the control, I can’t take it? This is how. And now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, tell me what you want. I need to hear the words, even though I already know. I promise it’ll be fine.”
Her eyes flicked down to his crotch, and then back up to his face and his knowing eyes. The lack of condemnation there gave her the courage. “I want to taste you. Your...” She paused, took a shuddering breath. The last time she’d used the word, she’d said it to Sam, and it had angered him so much he’d backhanded her. Enough. Jeremy’s not like Sam. He’s not. “Your cock.”
His eyes grew impossibly warmer. “I would love that, kitten.”
He stood, and when he did he was so close to her she could feel the heat coming off him. He undid his buckle and pulled the belt free of his jeans, dropping it onto the chair behind him, then moved his hand to the button.
“May I?” She was so close to him she could see the effect of her words on his erection. It throbbed, and without thinking, she ran her hand over it, squeezing gently. “Please?”
“Fuck, yeah,” Jeremy swore, dropping his head back. A bead of sweat slid down his temple. “It might well kill me, but have at it. I’m all yours tonight.”
He didn’t usually give his subs this much control, but he’d be damned if he’d stop Rebeccah from exploring a side of her that had been suppressed for so long. The need shone from her eyes, along with an innocence that should’ve been impossible. Fuck, she’d been married, what, six years? He wasn’t going to ask, not tonight. He wouldn’t ruin the mood, but he wondered how the hell that had happened.
She bit her lip and fumbled with the button, her fingers dipping just inside the waistband. He sucked in a breath as she touched his skin. She slid her hand in his pants, behind the zipper, drawing it down, her knuckles rubbing against his aching dick. “Christ. Back up, kitten. Give me a second.” She dropped her hands immediately as if they’d been scalded, but he didn’t want her to think she’d done anything wrong. He rested his hand on top of her head, toying with strands of her hair. “I’ve imagined you like this so often that reality is making it hard for me to stay in control. I’m not proud of that, but there it is. Another touch like that and I’ll go off like a teenage boy.”
Her eyes flew to his, and he was pleased to see satisfaction there and even a bit of laughter. No worry, no fear. Good.
“You’re going to be trouble, I can see it already.” He grinned. “I like that in a woman.”
She ducked her head, but not before he saw her quick flash of a smile.
He sat back down, leaving his jeans riding low on his hips. He waited a beat to see what she’d do next, but it seemed like she was waiting for direction. Hell, that worked for him.
“You know what you do to me, sweetheart?” He freed his erection from the confines of his briefs and let out a relieved breath. His cock sprang to attention, heavy and hard and aching. He stroked it with his fist once then drew a finger over the head, where a drop of fluid beaded the tip. “You do this.”
Her eyes were riveted on him, and when her tongue darted out to moisten her lips, he groaned. “You want this?”
She swallowed hard. “Please.”
“Ah, such a polite kitten.” He tugged her forward with one finger hooked into her sweater until she was between his legs again, up on her knees. “Put your hands on my legs and don’t move them. Touch me, but with your mouth only.”
She bent her head and rubbed her face against his length. He’d expected her to suck him right in, but he should’ve known Becca would make her own path. And she had, but as good as it felt, she hadn’t obeyed his order, and he decided it would be a good time to point out how he expected her to follow them. He wrapped a hand in her hair and carefully tugged her head back. “That felt fantastic, but that wasn’t what I told you to do, was it, kitten?”
She flushed guiltily. “No.”
“I said mouth only. Now, we haven’t gone over any rules except your safe word, so for this you get a free pass. But in the future, if I tell you to do something and you don’t do what I tell you to do, there will be consequences.”
Her eyes flared wide, a hint of true panic in them.
“Easy, kitten. Easy.” He kept his voice soft and calm. “Consequences are things like stopping what we’re doing. Or me getting off, but making you sit there and watch while I do it myself. I don’t use spankings or flogging or caning for punishment. I never have and I never will.” He leaned forward and kissed her gently, his hand still tangled in her hair. “Especially not with you. Not now that I know...no.”
“I didn’t know—”
He cut her off with another kiss. “I know you didn’t know. I’m not angry, sweetheart. We’re learning here, together, both of us. I’m just sharing my rules.”
She blinked up at him. “Do I get to have rules too?”
He smiled at her tremulous question. “In a manner of speaking. If there are things you’re dead-set against doing, you only have to tell me. Those are hard limits. A do-not-cross line, and I promise you, I’ll respect it. And there might be things that aren
’t cast in stone but you’re still not sure you want them. Those are soft limits. We play carefully around those, but I’m going to push you to try, especially if I think you really want them but you’re afraid to say so.”
Her eyes went soft. “Okay.”
“Good girl. Now, where were we? Oh, right.” He guided her head close then fisted his cock with his free hand to rub it against her lips. She didn’t struggle, just went with it, opening her mouth immediately. His stomach tightened. “Lick me.”
She made a noise low in her throat and did exactly as he ordered, tentatively licking the head of his dick, then drawing her tongue over the part of it not covered by his fist. Her tongue lashed against his hand, so he withdrew it and she continued on, licking him in long strokes until his eyes nearly rolled back in his head. “Stop.”
She froze immediately, her breath warm puffs of air against his wet length.
He was torn. It was obvious she had little to no experience with this, but she was turning him inside out with her innocence. He didn’t want to ruin that, to mar the experience for her, but he needed to know how far he could go. “Kitten, have you done this before?”
Her face paled. “Oh, God. I’m—”
“Ah, hell,” he muttered, cutting her off. “I’m fucking this up. Don’t you dare apologize. If you were any better at it, you’d kill me. But I need to know if you’re going to panic if I come in your mouth.”
Instant color flooded her cheeks. “No, I haven’t. But I’m not that naïve. I know what happens.”
“Good to know.” An evil idea crossed his mind, and he grinned. “I think we’ll change things up a bit. A blowjob is great, but I’m going to fuck your mouth instead.”
Her eyes went wide, so wide he could see the whites all the way around them, and her hands flexed on his thighs, her fingertips biting into his legs.
“Kitten? You with me?’
“I didn’t know that was possible,” she blurted. “How... I don’t get that.”
He laughed. Here he thought she was freaking out, when she was showing the curiosity of the kitten he called her. “Easy, sweetheart. You open wide, and I stroke in and out.”
She stared at his cock, her eyes still wide, her face red. “I don’t know about that.”
“Is that a hard limit? Or a soft one?”
He could see her mind spinning. She closed her eyes for a long moment, and when she opened them again, they were serious. “Soft, I think. But please—”
His heart twisted as he moved to reassure her. “Trust me, Rebeccah. I won’t hurt you.” When she nodded, finally, he squeezed her shoulder. “Trade places with me.”
He stood and reached behind her, picking up his belt and putting it in her palm, curling her hand around it. “Because your mouth will be otherwise occupied,” he said, letting her see the humor in his eyes, “you need a safe signal instead of a safe word. If you need me to stop, drop the belt. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“You’re an amazing woman, and don’t you ever forget that.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, tenderly at first, then harder as she opened to him. He moved his way over her face, placing butterfly kisses on her eyes and the tip of her nose, moving back to her mouth. He lightly bit her bottom lip and soothed it with his tongue.
He guided her backward so she sat, and as soon as she was on the chair, his cock throbbed. Patience, he reminded himself. His fisted himself and squeezed until he felt more in control. “Put your tongue out, kitten.”
She looked up at him, her tongue out like an obedient, eager sub, and he nearly lost it right there. He tapped it with his cock and she moaned, making his balls ache. “Open wide,” he growled, fighting against the need to take, to do what his body demanded when faced with a willing, consenting, submissive woman.
He grabbed a fistful of her hair with one hand, holding her head steady as he stroked into her mouth for the very first time. Her lips closed around him, warm and wet. “Fuck,” he swore, his teeth clenched. “Fuck, that’s good.”
He kept his strokes shallow, not wanting to freak her out. He glanced down at her hand, the one holding the belt. It was still clenched tightly in her hand, and her fist was on his hip. Her free hand grasped his other hip. On an out stroke, he paused. “Still with me, kitten?”
“More,” she begged. “Please don’t stop.”
“Not unless you use your safe word,” he promised. And even then, it would be close. He’d do it, but it would probably kill him. With his free hand, he caressed her cheek as he drove back into her mouth, going deeper this time. “So damn sweet.”
She watched him with innocence and trust and a desire for him and him alone. Best fucking gift, ever.
Firelight flickered over her face and reflected in her eyes. She started making small noises in the back of her throat and the vibration of it drew him closer and closer to the point of no return.
The next time he stroked into her mouth, he went deeper than he had before. It felt like heaven, but Becca’s eyes flared slightly. “Too much?”
She held up the hand holding the belt and squeezed it tighter.
“You like the feel of my cock in there, don’t you? Pushing you somewhere you’ve never been. And you know it’s not all in there. I bet you’re wondering how much more you can take. Curious little kitten, aren’t you?”
Her face went soft and she wrapped her tongue around his dick, sucking as he withdrew part way.
He groaned and laughed at the same time. “You are trouble, sweetheart. Take a deep breath.”
She did, and he stroked in, a longer one this time. The moment he felt the head of his cock tap against the back of her throat, he pulled back out. “Again?”
She squeezed the belt and his hip at the same time.
Jesus, she was something else. He tightened his grip on her hair and pumped his hips once, twice, three times, four, going deeper each time, and she took everything he gave her. She only gagged once, her eyes going wide, but she never dropped the belt. “Next time, when you feel me close, swallow.”
Her throat closed over the head of his cock and he shuddered, gritting his teeth against the need to come. Her first time or not, her action nearly brought him to his knees. He set his palm against her neck and stroked in again, feeling it expand as he pushed deeply into the warm cavern of her mouth and throat. Her eyes were bright, her lips swollen and glossy red. Fucking beautiful.
She gagged again, her eyes tearing, and he pulled out. He hadn’t planned on this tonight, not this soon, but she was willing and needy and he’d wanted her for so long. Still wanted her, underneath him naked and writhing as he teased and tormented her, but this would take the edge off, if she could handle it.
“Do we need to stop?” He hoped she’d say no but feared she’d say yes. He waited, breath caught in his chest.
Chapter Five
“Please,” Becca begged, digging her fingernails into his hip. Please please please. He swiped a thumb across her jaw, catching the tear she’d felt trickle from the corner of her eye when she gagged. How could she explain to him that she liked that feeling when she couldn’t figure out why she did, herself. All she knew was that she was wet and swollen at her core, and her nipples ached to be touched. Desperate frustration made her open her mouth and she tried to move forward, but Jeremy was still holding her steady by her hair and her throat. A raw, pleading noise escaped.
His hips flexed and he plunged into her mouth again. “Christ, babe, you’re killing me. I don’t have much more control left in me, so if you don’t want me to come in your mouth, we have to stop now.”
No. She moaned her denial, obvious even though it was unintelligible.
He locked gazes with her as he drove into her mouth, over and over again, short strokes now. Under her hands, she felt his muscles tense, and he pulled out of her mouth.
“Open wide, kitten, and take it all,” he muttered, stroking himself harder and faster.
God, yes. I want it.
She did what he said and he groaned, his release spilling out onto her tongue in long spurts. The taste was unique, salty but not unpleasant, like nothing she’d ever tasted before. She swallowed, then darted her tongue out to lap up the small drops that kept coming from the tip.
His voice came out deep, ragged, thoroughly satisfied. “That’s right. Lick me clean.”
She hummed as she did exactly that. There was something so satisfying in knowing she’d brought him—this tough yet gentle man—to this point where he was trembling, shaking with the force of his orgasm. She’d done this to him, and it didn’t feel the slightest bit dirty. It made her feel sexy and wanted and...
He rubbed his knuckles across her face, blocking her from touching him again. “That’s enough, babe. Things get a little...sensitive after.”
She sat back with a happy sigh and he reached down, covering her fist with his hand.
Huh. She’d forgotten she still held the belt and, when she opened her fingers, there were marks where the leather had dug into her skin.
He took her hand and kissed the ridges it had made. “Thank you, kitten.”
For a second, she floundered. What was the right response for that? “I, uh...sure.”
He smiled wickedly as he tucked himself back into his briefs, his jeans still riding low on his hips. “We’re not done yet, in case you’re wondering.”
Her face flamed even as her heart skipped a beat. More?
The laughter in his eyes turned serious as he pulled her to her feet. He kissed her nose and leaned his forehead against hers. “You okay?”
“Better than okay. I didn’t know...” Her voice drifted off. His face tightened and she kept talking. If she talked, she wouldn’t have to answer the question she could see in his eyes. She didn’t want to ruin the mood so she grinned up at him. “Best. Dessert. Ever.”
That startled a bark of laughter from him and his expression turned playful. “I’ll be happy to feed you dessert any time.”
Matzoh and Mistletoe Page 5
