Her eyes went round and she flinched, backing up until she hit the corner of the deck.
Goddamn son of a bitch, I’m going to kill him. He dropped his arm, his hands out wide at his side, all thoughts of his own pain gone in the face of her reaction. And damn myself, for forgetting. “Just me, kitten. Easy.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Her chest heaved and her eyes flashed both ire and frustration. “Give me a minute.”
He stayed right where he was, giving her the space she needed. It didn’t take long, but it felt like an hour as the seconds ticked by into minutes. Finally she blinked, a self-disgusted look settling over her face.
“You okay, kitten?”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“So don’t say anything. Not now, anyway. How about we go get the rest of our stuff from the car, and go from there?”
She nodded and pushed away from the railing, stopping in front of him. She hesitated briefly but leaned forward and placed a butterfly kiss against his injured cheek. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. You just startled me.”
They grabbed the rest of the things from the trunk, including one bag he made sure he carried himself. He didn’t want her opening it or stressing out about it, but he’d brought a small bag of toys with him, things he’d love to use on her if the situation arose. He wasn’t planning on it, exactly, but he wanted to be prepared.
When they had everything in the cabin and had the food stowed away, he turned to her. “So, what would you like to do first?”
* * *
You. I’d like to do you first. The erotic thought flashed through her brain even though, not ten minutes ago, she’d flinched as if he was going to backhand her. It wasn’t him, though. She had no fear of Jeremy at all, and her reaction had come out of nowhere. Damn Sam and what he’d turned her into. Enough. She was taking her life back, and she was doing it now. “How about a walk before it gets too dark? It was a long drive. Maybe we could stretch our legs.”
He looped his camera around his neck. “Sounds perfect.”
“Wait, before we go. I made something for you.” She’d worked on it, not knowing if she’d ever give it to him, but now she was glad she had. “A Christmas gift. I forgot to give it to you yesterday.”
“Aw, hell, kitten. I don’t have anything for you.”
Was he kidding? “You brought me here with you. That’s all the gift I need. Besides,” she said dryly, “Christmas isn’t my holiday.”
He tweaked her nose. “Okay, elf-girl. If you say so.”
She reached into the bag she’d brought with her then handed him a small, wrapped bundle.
He opened it, grinning. “Love it, kitten. Thank you.” He took the knitted scarf out of the box and looped it over his shoulders. It was blue and green, the exact colors his eyes turned. And they turned greener, now. “We could have fun with this.”
They left the cabin and he locked the door behind them. He reached for her hand and she took it, happy to have this small connection with him. They followed a path that led down past the row of connected cabins they’d driven by earlier, walking hand in hand with Jeremy stroking her skin with his thumb. The touch was both mesmerizing and enticing at the same time. When they stopped to look through a break in the trees, he flipped his new scarf over her head and around her shoulders and tugged her close, kissing her breathless.
He broke the kiss and swept a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “Hi there.”
She wondered if she looked as dazed as she felt. “Hi.”
He grinned. “So what do you think of Shenandoah so far?”
“It’s gorgeous. I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere this quiet.”
“It really is. I think it’s the lack of leaves or something. Plus, not too many people here this time of year. Maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll get to see some wildlife.” Right as he finished his words, a herd of deer darted out of the woods and ran across the trail about fifty feet in front of them.
She grinned even as she jumped at the unexpected show. “Ask and ye shall receive?”
He laughed, but his face turned serious and intense. “Ah, kitten. If only that were true in all things, I’d ask for a whole fucking lot more than that.”
Without consciously thinking about it, she moved directly in front of him, placing her hand against his chest, looking up at his handsome face. “Give it a try.”
His eyes went hot like molten lava. “You’re playing with fire, babe. You may not be willing to give me all I want.”
Willing? Yes. Able? Maybe. “You’ll never force me anywhere I don’t want to go. You’ve told me that more than once, and you’ve told me all I have to do is say red to make things stop. I’m telling you I believe you.” His eyes flashed with satisfaction, and she continued. “I want you to show me what you mean when you say things like in my world. I want to know what it’s like for a woman who surrenders to you.”
“Fuck, Rebeccah. You’re killing me, I swear,” he said, his voice deeper than usual.
“I can’t promise I won’t react like I did earlier, but it’s not about you.”
“I know.” He squeezed her hand. “If it happens, we’ll work through it, together.”
She worried her lip. “One other thing. I can’t promise I won’t give you a little, er, attitude.”
He laughed, deep in his throat. “Kitten, that kind of thing only makes me harder. I told you yesterday, I don’t want a doormat. I want an equal. Yeah, I’m a sexual dominant, and I like control in the bedroom, but if you’re submissive to me there, it’s because you gave me that control. It’s called a power exchange, and exchange is the operative word here.”
That tickled her funny bone. “Now who’s giving grammar lessons? Operative?”
He grinned and tweaked her nose. “Pay attention.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I do love the way that sounds on your lips.” She wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but she smiled anyway, and he continued. “It means we each give, and we each receive equally. You give me your trust, and I give you mine. In return you receive, hopefully, a five-star orgasm and the type of pleasure you’ve always wondered about, and I also receive a five-star orgasm and satisfaction that fulfills a different part of me. But none of this happens without your consent and mine. Equally.”
He squeezed her hand again and they made a U-turn and started heading back around toward their own cabin.
Her heart thudded as she thought back over his dinner-table confession last night. “Yesterday, you told me what you liked. Things that are a normal part of your relationships. You mentioned some scary ones.”
He nodded. “Restraints, spankings, floggers and canes? Yeah. We can go slow there, see what you like or don’t like.”
Blood rushed to her face. “What if I don’t want to go slow on some of it?”
A smile creased his face. “You tell me what interests you, kitten. I wasn’t kidding when I told you that. You want to experiment with me? Go for it.” His smile faded. “But you have to do this because you want it, not because I do.”
Well, that was the question, wasn’t it? She took a deep breath and screwed up her courage. “Sam and I hadn’t slept together in a month because I had some, uh, female issues. Hannah and I had gone out to dinner, talking about what I might do to spice up my marriage, and adding a bit of sexy play was one of the ideas. You know, scarves and blindfolds, that kind of thing. Sam was in a good mood one night, so I decided to take a chance. Turns out I was wrong.”
She kept an eye on his face as he processed her words. His eyes grew hard, but surprisingly, he chose to focus on the point she was trying to get across to him, rather than the obvious.
“You like the idea of being tied up?”
She nodded. “I don’t know why. But it sounds like fun.”
“It is fun.” His grin was fleeting, though. “That was the night he hit you.”
“Yes. But that’s not why I told you that. I told you because I want you to
know I may not have a lot of experience, but I have a vivid imagination.”
“So noted.” Then, another quirk of a grin that faded too quickly. “Kitten, I know it’s not any of my business, but I’m curious. How is it you were married that long and you’d never given him a—”
She cut him off, her face flaming. “Can I just say it wasn’t because I wasn’t interested? I don’t feel right telling you more. I know I don’t owe him anything, but that’s how I feel.”
He laughed wryly. “You really are something.”
She frowned. “Something good or something bad?”
“Something amazing, and I’m a lucky bastard that you’re giving me a shot. You are giving me a shot, right?”
His tone was hopeful and it made her feel stronger about her decision. “I am.”
Instead of dragging her right back to the cabin as she’d assumed he would, he took photographs in the waning light as they walked back, shots of the trees and the critters they saw wandering out into the dusky night, foraging for food. They were mostly silent, both of them, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. Awareness flowed between them like electricity, arcing and sparking whenever they touched.
Which was frequently. Her contact-starved soul drew it in, turning it into pure arousal. And Jeremy touched with his whole body, with hip bumps, hugs and full body presses. By the time they reached the cabin she was a giant mass of need.
She went up the stairs ahead of him and nearly tripped when he reached out and pinched her ass. She looked over her shoulder and he grinned, unrepentant. She couldn’t do anything but laugh and grin back. He stepped around her and unlocked the door, and her heart raced with anticipation.
* * *
Jeremy had to force himself to slow the fuck down. In spite of her bold words, he still planned on moving carefully with Becca. He would with any submissive woman he dated, and she was so much more than that to him.
He closed the door behind them and locked it with a snick, turning just in time to see Becca jump. Which only reinforced his earlier decision to keep things light for the time being. He moved to the fireplace and lit the logs waiting there for them. “We need to decide on dinner, and then we can get our stuff unpacked. I brought a portable DVD player and a few movies. I have cards, too.”
Her eyes flew wide. “Can we play strip poker?”
His startled laugh broke free. Maybe she was more ready than he was giving her credit for. “Anything you want, kitten. I’m game.”
“I’ve played poker before, but never strip poker.”
Even better, since he selfishly and possessively wanted to be the only one to teach her all the fun things she’d missed out on in life. “Are you any good? Because I’m really hoping you stink at it.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.
She laughed. “You’ll have to wait and see, won’t you?”
His gut reaction was to tease her about it, but yesterday’s nice Jewish girl comment had backfired on him and upset her, so he took it in a different direction. “That sounds like a challenge, babe, and if there’s one thing you should know about the kind of man I am? It’s that I love a good challenge.”
She flashed a grin at him, a sexy one that made his dick pay attention. “Thanks for the warning.” In the small kitchen, she rifled through the fridge and pulled out a wrapped casserole dish. “How does lasagna sound?”
He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, tugging her close. He bit her earlobe, then licked a path down her neck to the sweet spot on her shoulder. “Sounds good. I have stuff for salad, too. And wine.” He clamped his teeth against her neck even as he cupped her breasts with his hands, rubbing her nipples with his thumbs.
She twisted in his arms and set the lasagna down on the adjacent counter with a thunk. Her face was pink and her eyes were bright, and he spun her so her back was to the counter and she was face-to-face with him.
“Hi there.”
“Hey.” She looked up at him, cocked her head. “You’re a toucher, aren’t you?”
He hadn’t really thought about it. “Yeah, I guess so. Why? Does it bother you?”
A shadow passed through her eyes. “Not at all.”
“But Sam wasn’t.”
She shook her head and lifted a shoulder. “He thought it was inappropriate.”
He couldn’t help himself, even though he risked having Becca clam up. “Even in private? I know a lot of people who don’t get into any public displays of affection, but in private it’s different.”
“Yeah. Even then. But he wasn’t always like that. We did the usual hand-holding thing when we were dating, and the occasional kiss out in public. Near the end of our marriage, though, he didn’t like to touch me at all.” Her face reddened. “Except in bed.”
Fuck that. He tucked his hands in the waistband of her jeans, against her back, his fingers grazing the cleft between her cheeks. “I like to touch. And lick, and kiss, and bite. There’s nowhere I won’t touch you, kitten. Count on it.” He leaned forward and captured her mouth in a sweet, light kiss. At the same time, he squeezed his fingers, wringing a moan from her throat. “Got it?”
“Got it.”
He let her go and stepped back, giving her room.
She turned on the oven and set the lasagna inside to heat.
“How long will that take?”
She wrinkled her nose and cast a doubtful look at the ancient stove. “About half an hour, I’d say, if the oven works well. We’ll check it in about twenty minutes.”
He watched as she set the timer. “Great. In that case, let’s check out the bed.”
Chapter Eight
Becca’s gaze flew to Jeremy’s grinning face. She wasn’t used to this much joking around with a man. Sam had been studious and serious when she’d met him, two things that had drawn her to him. She’d been like that too, working hard to get her teaching degree, and he’d been just as busy with law school, determined to make the most of it. His work ethic had been so much more attractive to her than the never-ending partying some of the guys at school had done. He’d been attentive, too, in an understated way, and she’d been charmed. He’d been exactly what she’d thought she’d wanted in a husband.
Jeremy had his serious side. She’d seen it in action during their ride-alongs, and she’d seen it last night. But he also had a fun side, and she saw that in his touching and his teasing. He was teasing now.
Maybe.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the far side of the cabin.
Maybe not.
When they were in the doorway to the small bedroom, he pointed up, then kissed her so thoroughly she saw twinkling stars.
“Mistletoe,” he said, grinning, pointing up again. And when they stepped into the room, she saw the twinkling stars were actually lights on a small, decorated tree in the corner of the bedroom. “This isn’t going to make you burst into flames or anything, is it? This Christmas stuff?”
She couldn’t help it. She laughed, shoving his chest. “You’re a nut. No, I won’t spontaneously combust. Truth be told, I’m always a little jealous this time of year. I love Christmas decorations.”
“Good thing.”
He was right. This room was seriously decorated for Christmas. Red flannel sheets and a fluffy white down comforter on the log-post bed, a small fireplace with stockings hung from the mantel. Whoever had decorated it had set the Christmas scene perfectly. “It’s lovely.”
He rolled his eyes. “I went to college with the park ranger who lives here year round, and I told him I was bringing you with me. I’d bet good money this was his wife’s doing. This cabin is usually pretty generic, which has always been fine with me. but I find myself grateful for the change, if only because of the happy look on your face. Even if I’m not the one who put it there.”
This was only the third time she’d seen him less than completely self-assured. The first time had been last night, when she’d moved away from him to the sofa and he’d been confused. The second time had
been earlier this afternoon, when she’d told him she’d felt like she had no choice about coming with him.
And now.
She smiled. “At the risk of making you insufferable, you are the one who put the content look there. I’m happy to be here with you, period. The setting is just icing on the cake.”
His face transformed from fun-loving to intense in the blink of an eye. He backed her into a corner up against the log walls and leaned so close a piece of tinsel from the tree couldn’t fit between them. She felt surrounded on all sides, the cool wood of the wall against her back and Jeremy’s big body against her front. Both the wall and Jeremy were unyielding and hard, but his hardness vibrated with life and gave off skin-searing heat. He swiveled his hips, giving her body a long, gliding stroke with his. When he eased the pressure and retreated, she grasped his hips with her hands and tried to pull him back.
“Greedy kitten.” He dipped his head and licked the side of her throat. “I like that you want me this bad, but who’s in charge here?”
She banged her head against the wall, her heart thudding in tandem. She didn’t let herself think about it, just answered, and was nearly as surprised with the unhesitating result as he was. “You are. Please.”
A slow smile crossed his face. “I love the look on your face right now. Aroused, unsure but certain at the same time, desperate.” He slid a hand from where it rested on her waist up her torso until it covered her neck.
Her eyes fluttered closed as he stroked the side of her throat with his thumb, and her head fell forward. In reaction, his fingers squeezed gently, and it felt utterly possessive. She let out a whimper she couldn’t have held back if her life depended on it. She was so lost in the amazing feelings rushing through her body she almost missed the rest of his words.
“Look at you, head bowed, letting me hold you in place with my hand.” He rubbed his thumb over her throat again, then squeezed his fingers again for a long moment. She couldn’t breathe but didn’t know if it was from the pressure of his hand or from the words he stroked against her mind and soul. “So fucking submissive, babe, I could come in my jeans right now.”
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