by Ward, H. M.
“There is no one better than you.”
“Then we’re both screwed, because I suck.” I nudge his elbow with mine, but he doesn’t return the gesture. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want you to get Sean out of your system. Either be with him or forget about him. This in the middle shit is driving me insane. I swear to God, being friends with you is beyond exhausting.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Sighing, I drape my arm over my eyes and say, “So, what are we? Is friendship off the table?”
He pushes up onto one elbow, lifts my wrist, and looks me in the eye. “What kind of an asshole do you think I am? Oh wait, don’t answer that.” He smiles down at me. “Yeah, we can be friends, maybe even friends that kiss?”
Laughing softly, I shake my head. “No kissing.”
Marty considers it, like he’s bargaining with some old lady at the flea market. “Okay, okay. I’ll settle for friends with benefits.” He winks at me.
“The only benefits you’ll be getting are rides in my awesome car.”
“Is that a euphemism?”
I laugh. “For what?”
“I have no idea. Your car sucks monkeys, like literally. It must have plowed down an entire gaggle of the hairy little suckers at some point. I mean, the smell alone…” I shove his arm and he laughs. Running his hands over his face, he groans, “Oh God, Avery. It’s like we both signed up to be miserable. You don’t like me enough to do anything about it, and Sean ditched you.”
I nod slowly, like something should become clear, and hope that a big fat unicorn will jump out of a rainbow that formed in the dark clouds that hang over my head. “We deserve a unicorn.”
“I know what you mean, and I’m not even gay.”
“You’re brain damaged, like me.”
“Fucking unicorns.” He glances at me and we both start laughing. It’s that sleepy giggly laugh that is difficult to stop. When we do, we’re both on our own pillows, staring up at the ceiling. “So, are you going to make yourself more miserable, like me?”
“Probably, but I need you to be more specific.”
“Are you going after him?”
I’m quiet for a moment, even though I already know the answer. Saying out loud that I’m going after Sean makes it real, admitting it to someone sets the concept in stone. I’m stepping into a pair of cement shoes and jumping off a bridge, willingly.
“Yeah, I have to see this through. I’ll get down on one knee, hold up a ring, and shut my mouth until he answers me.” I laugh, “You know, I don’t think I can take any more stress. It feels like my life is held together with cobweb string. If things don’t go well, I don’t know how I’ll get over it.”
“Mel and me are here, Avery. We always will be, and if I ever run into Henry Thomas on the street, he better run the other way. Ditto for Mel. She described what she’d do to that bastard and it’s not pretty. That woman is scary.”
27
Isolation is a weird thing. I’m not sure how it happened. It kind of snuck up on me after I lost my parents. My childhood friends faded to acquaintances and then fell into the shadows of my past. I have no desire to bring them back, either. People that are only there during the good times suck. I’ve had enough leeches in my life, and I’m grateful for the friends I have now. It hasn’t escaped my notice that the people that I like the most are the kind that have been beaten by this life and didn’t lie down, face first, in the dust. We gravitate toward one another. Maybe no one has an ordinary life, but since that’s what I’m striving for, I’d rather not think about it. Chasing something that doesn’t exist would completely suck.
I can imagine bringing Mel home to meet my Mom. First off, no one ever forgets meeting Mel. She’s all personality in a mocha-skinned body with killer curves. It’s hard not to notice how striking she is when the woman is standing in front of you. I think Mom would have liked her. Mel fights for what she wants and encourages me to do the same.
Right now we’re standing in a jewelry store and I have a goofy smile on my face with bags under my eyes.
“He better appreciate this shit.” Mel is crouched over a ring case, her eyes scanning diamonds, gold, and platinum for something that has an antique feel.
“I should probably just get a plain band. He’s going to say no anyway.”
Her gaze flicks up and her caramel eyes give me the you-crazy once over. “What are you going to do if he says yes?” She folds her arms across her chest and leans her hip into the case.
I start to open my mouth when a sales girl walks over. She’s wearing a perfectly pale pink suit and is cute as a button. Mel’s going to eat her—uh, like a lion, not a hooker. Perky chick says, “My name is Tiffany and I—”
Mel tilts her head to the side like she’s annoyed and doesn’t even look at the woman. “Listen, Stepford Psycho, we aren’t going to take any crap, or hard sales, or whatever you have planned up there in your little plastic head, so walk away and if we find something to buy, I’ll snap my fingers and you will pounce over like a good little bitch because you work on commission.”
The sales girl’s face falls, her mouth gaping open in horror. She’s momentarily stunned, so Mel snaps her fingers. “Hear that?” The girl nods. “Good, now go over there until I call you. Go on. Scat. That’s a good girl.”
Tiffany’s super pink pouty lips repress a sneer as she walks away. I glance at Mel. “Do you have to be so mean?”
“She’s a bitch. Fake people deserve to be treated like they’re made of tin—or plastic. I recycle, it’s okay. Besides, you know how I feel about robots.” She cringes and shakes her head. The expression on her face is reminiscent of the second before a woman realizes there’s a spider crawling across her lips and into her mouth.
Strumming my fingers across the top of the glass case, I say, “Yes, I know you hate robots—”
“The fuckers are everywhere. If there’s going to be an apocalypse, it’s going to be from that bitch inside my phone—”
My fingers press to my temples and stare at her. “Oh my God, Mel. Not now. And I don’t think the sales girl deserved to be verbally castrated because she likes pink.”
Mel glances up at Tiffany. “Nah, I did it because she interrupted me. What was I saying?”
“What if he says yes…”
Mel nods, which makes her thick gold hoops sway back and forth. She seems to have an endless supply of huge-ass earrings. “Yeah, about that—you don’t want him to have an ugly-ass ring for the rest of your life, do you?”
“No, but none of these are quite right.” I glance over at her. Every scenario I can picture fades to black before I can even get the words out of my mouth. It’s like the black hole of horror. My mind stops there and can’t see beyond it. “Why do you think he’ll say yes?”
“Because he thinks with his dick and we’re gonna make it commandeer his brain.”
I smirk at her. “Seriously, Mel. I need to know why.”
She gives me a long hard look and exhales. “Because of the way he acted before he left. Something about it screamed overprotective, which could mean he’s an asshole that planned on ruling your life, or he actually loves you. Since, he let you keep working for Black and skipped town, I’m guessing it’s the latter. The boy may be scary as hell, but deep down he’s a coward. He wouldn’t have run off if he didn’t care about you. Besides, that whole theory lines up with what his brother told you. Sean Ferro has the hots for you.”
Her words are what I want to hear. No, they’re better than that. They give me hope and I can’t hide the stupid look that crosses my face. “So, what do I say?”
“You tackle him to the ground like a linebacker and shove the ring over his cock. Then you say, marry me. Easy-peasy.” Mel sees something in the case and snaps her fingers over and over again until Tiffany bounces over. Mel and Tiff exchange deadly smiles. Mel points to a ring. “I’d like to see that one.”
Tiffany has one of those I’m-better-than-you-smiles on her face. “I�
��m sorry, but we only take jewelry out of the case for customers who intend to make a purchase.”
Oh shit. I glance at Mel, almost afraid to see how she took it. Mel’s face is perfectly smooth with the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen. She’s at DEFCON 1 and ready to nuke the place. Just as Mel opens her mouth, I grab her arm and cut her off, “I’m hungry. Let’s go to Friendly’s and then keep shopping. And you—“ I glare at the idiot sales girl. “I just saved your life. Remember to kiss my ass the next time you see me.”
I pull Mel out of the store before she goes into a full rant. By the time she’s onto heavy nostril breathing and death ray vision, we’re seated at a little table. The truth is Friendly’s is one of my favorite places to eat because my parents took me here when I was a kid. It was the special place that I could choose to go to whenever something awesome happened. Basically, it’s a small diner that sells sundaes and milkshakes.
Mel’s nostrils flare and she slams her hands on the table. “I’m going back there. She can’t talk to me like that!”
“So, show her that she’s a dumbass on the way out.”
Mel smashes her lips together and grunts, “I will.”
“Good.” I open the menu even though I already know what I want. My eyes skim over the plastic pages, avoiding Mel’s freaky pissed off gaze.
“I mean it.” Her jaw is locked tight.
Laughing, I say, “I know.”
I order for both of us and eat in silence as Mel stews across from me. She dabs a fry in ketchup over and over again with a vacant look in her eye. It’s not a good look for her. It means she’s thinking, no, plotting, and nothing good ever comes from that.
After a little bit, Mel stuffs her face as fast as she can and then taps her fingers on the tabletop while she waits for me to finish my sundae. It has peanut butter sauce and fudge, which means that I’m not hurrying.
“Oh. My. God. Hurry up, Avery. You’re killing me.”
I lick the fudge off the back of my spoon without thinking. The nerves that have been twisting my stomach into knots are finally fading. I think I might be able to find Sean and ask him without puking on him. Screw wine, chocolate does wonders for the nerves. “Done.” I put my spoon down and Mel bounces out of her seat.
“I’ll pay my half to you after you find me. See you in a second, okay?”
“Mel, where are you going?”
She flashes a wicked smile my way. “Back to the jewelry store, where else?” Before I can tell her that an assault charge will interfere with her life, she’s gone.
I sit in the booth for a second and my phone chirps. I pull it out of my purse and thumb the screen to life. There’s a text message from a number that I don’t recognize. The area code isn’t from around here.
Hey…
I type back, Who’s this?
Someone who misses you.
My stomach swirls as I type in his name. Sean?
Yeah, baby. Do you miss me?
What I type doesn’t convey how much. Yes.
I miss you too… I grin like a dork for a few seconds until his next message appears. So, what are you earring? Pause. I blink at the screen trying to figure that one out when it chimes again. Ducking autocorrect.
That makes me laugh. IKR? Damn dicks… And I press send before I see the typo. I swear, smart phones were made to make people look stupid. Ducks, ducks! I type quickly and hit send.
LOL. Sure. There’s a pause and then he sends, I need to see you again.
My heart rate picks up and thumps along at a million miles per hour as it soars through the sky. He wants to see me! I try to play it cool and decide to refrain from writing back YYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!! like an orgasmic hornball. I’m beaming. It’s a sure thing now. If Sean can’t leave me behind, he must want to be with me. My decision to ask him to marry me seems like a better plan now. I can’t wait to see him, and I don’t want to wait. I’m getting a ring and finding him tonight.
I type back, I’d like that.
Then I’ll see you soon. I need to take care of a few things and then I’ll be in touch.
Acid couldn’t wipe the smile off my face after reading that.
When I finish at the restaurant, I pay the tab and then wander through the mall with a goofy look on my face, resisting the urge to skip and tap my heels together. Oh hell, I do it anyway. I skip twice, which is really more of a gallop, before I jump. When I go to tap my heels together, I miss. It’s the most uncoordinated thing I’ve ever done. I come down with my ankle at a strange angle and fall on my ass.
A couple of guys clap loudly and chide, “Nice, honey! Way to stick the landing!” They laugh and walk by me like I’m too stupid to be alive, but I so don’t care.
I jump up and brush off my butt with a huge blush across my face, giggling. The other guy winks at me, like I’m really cute. Who knew my super-sucky coordination skills were attractive? I duck my head and scurry away before I manage to trip on my feet.
When I catch up to Mel in the jewelry store, Tiffany is glowering in the corner with her arms folded over her plastic boobs. I bounce up next to Mel. “What are you doing?”
She beams at me. “I figured I needed some stuff while we were here—ya know, some gold hoops, a 3 carat diamond pendant to match. Nothing much. My friend Roger here is ringing me up and I’m going to pay in cash.” Her voice is so loud. If pride had a face, it would be Mel’s. She beams at me as she lays out over $10,000 in cash, slapping it down on the counter, bill-by-bill, grinning.
Tiffany rolls her eyes. I wave her over and she looks hopeful. “Hey,” I ask, “you got a second?” She nods, hoping that I’m going to spend as much as Mel. Like I’d spend it with her after that? Seriously, someone sniffed too many markers. We both glance at Mel. After a moment, I say, “It’s too bad you went super bitch on her ass, before. On the bright side, you just pushed your friend’s sales quota over the top for the month.”
I beam at her and walk over to Mel, who’s wearing her new jewelry. “Damn, that’s a big diamond.” It’s a princess-cut and looks stunning against her dark skin. The chain is white gold and matches the crusted diamond earrings she bought to match it.
Mel flashes her bright smile my way, actually giddy. “I know. I said to myself that I needed to buy myself a present. I work hard and I deserve nice shit, so I came back in here and Roger—this wonderful man—helped me pick out the biggest diamond pendant they had. Now it’s mine!” She squeals and claps her hands together like she’s too excited to breathe. Then, she looks over at Tiffany and waves. “Have a nice day, Bitchy Barbie.”
28
On the way home that afternoon, I get a call from Black. When I answer the phone, her voice is terse and the epitome of unfriendly. “Where are you?”
“I’m with Mel, why? Is something wrong?” What could go wrong at an illegal brothel? For a second I think the cops are raiding her office, but it’s too quiet.
Black’s teeth click together when she speaks. “You have a client this evening, Avery. You need to stop in here before you go. It’s late, so I reiterate—where are you?”
I’d planned on driving to Jersey tonight to find Sean. Mel glances at me out of the corner of her eye while driving Southern State like a racecar driver. She cuts off a pickup truck who blares his horn at us. We’re going to get caught in rush hour if we don’t get back to the dorm soon. I need to pack a bag before I go.
“I didn’t sign up to work tonight. Mel and I are off.”
“You and Mel are both working. There are clients, Avery, and—”
Pulling the phone away from my mouth, I whisper to Mel, “Are you working tonight?” She shakes her head. “Turns out we are. Can she do that?” Mel wiggles her fingers, meaning for me to give her the phone. “You can’t drive and talk—” Mel snatches the phone from me. “Okay, so maybe you can…”
Mel’s voice is as hard as Black’s. “Hey, Miss Black. I was out with my home-fry, Avery. What up?” Mel mouths, “I’ll handle this. No reason to go whiter th
an you already are. We need to get you some color, girl.” Mel jerks the car and changes lanes, leaving my stomach behind us. I hate driving with her in traffic. She bobs and weaves, yanking the steering wheel, changing lanes abruptly, and flying like the car should have wings.
Mel grins, “Well, it’s gonna cost you. We had plans.” Mel presses the phone to her shoulder and cuts across three lanes of traffic to get to our exit. Horns blare, but somehow she still hears what Miss Black says. “Fine, whatever. All I know is that my days off are getting to be fewer and fewer, and overworked and underpaid are two words that are not in my vocabulary, Miss Black. So, if you want me and Avery to work tonight, you’re going to have to fix that underpaid part. Overtime is a 50% increase. We’re both well into it this month and you know it. Uh huh. Well, that’s a risk I’m willing to take. How ‘bout you, Avery?” Mel makes a sound of agreement, and grins as she comes to a stoplight. “Avery says, ‘suck it.’ She’s not taking a charity case either. Go ahead. Sic your big thug on us. I’ll cut him up and don’t you doubt that I won’t. Yeah.” She nods for a few seconds and then a smile breaks across her face like sunlight in the dawning sky. “Damn straight, woman. That’s more like it. We’ll be there in an hour. We both need wardrobe, too.” Mel tosses me back the phone.
I’m a little afraid. I put it to my ear like it might bite me, but Black already hung up. “Are you insane? She threatens to beat the shit out of us and you said bring it?”
Mel shrugs. “It’s part of the game, honey. If you can’t play, get out of the sandbox.” I blink at her like she’s lost her mind. Mel rolls her eyes, “This business is just that—a business. If Black wants to work us like this, then she’s gotta compensate us. That’s all there is to it.”
“Has she ever had Gabe or one of the guys rough you up?”
Mel snorts and glances at me. We turn a corner and head back to the Long Island Expressway. “Where are you getting your info on pimping? Crocodile Dundee? This isn’t 1980, Avery. The most Black will do is make you uncomfortable.”
