by Webb, Carole
“It feels good to be here again. I’m going to see John then head to the house.”
“So how does it feel to be a stuffy old senator?”
Cash laughed. “It’s not as bad as I thought. I actually enjoy parts of the job. I am however disappointed about the outcome, but I will never accept defeat.”
“I’m sure you won’t. It is part of your remarkable character.” Her bright smile radiated, made her appear more youthful.
“You sure know how to flatter a guy. It is nice seeing you again. I need to get going.”
“You come to dinner next Friday. I will have Sadie bake one of her famous apple pies.”
“Then I guess I’ll be there. Better make it two pies. I can eat one myself.”
On leaving, he glanced around the rooms, feeling them lacking without the presence of Raeden smiling and fluttering about.
He had wanted to ask after Raeden, but his pride would not allow him to.
Cash greeted people from the town as they passed and eyed his surroundings carrying the gift for Angie on the way to the saloon. Met with open arms, he bent down to lay a kiss on her mouth then handed her the box. “A little something I picked up in D. C.”
Her face beamed with delight as she placed it on a table and looked inside to reveal a dress and hat. “Cash, it’s beautiful.” She lifted out a pale blue muslin day dress the color of her eyes and frilly white crinoline petticoats. Atop her head, she placed the white hat trimmed with a blue silk scarf, tying under her chin. Still in the box lay kid glove ankle shoes and a drawstring bag.
Tears filled her eyes when she kissed him. “Thanks, Cash, you have no idea how much this means to me. Will you be in town awhile? Can you stay for a drink?”
“Not now. I will see you Friday.” He pushed through the batwing doors and turned toward the jail.
John’s brows lifted and his blue eyes slanted in a smile when Cash entered his office, and he moved to shake hands. His deliberate stride and air of confidence told Cash he had everything under control.
“Cash, you old Billy goat, it’s good to see you, buddy.” He held Cash’s hand in both of his while giving it a vigorous shake.
Cash’s mouth curled upward. “Just thought I would drop by to see how you have messed things up.”
“No more than you always did.” When the smile left John’s face and his brow descended, Cash guessed what would come next.
“Do you ever hear from Rae? Diane tells me she is doing well in New York.”
The air became heavy while Cash collected his thoughts. “I received a letter once. She didn’t say anything personal.” The letter actually came from her solicitor but he did not feel the need to mention such a minor detail.
“You know, Cash, she is a special person and everyone loves her. How could you let her slip away? A lot of us knew how much she loved you. If you hadn’t been so stubborn, maybe things would be different.” A cloud of sadness fell over his gaze.
Why not just tell him? It really doesn’t matter. It’s none of his business but what the hell? Cash made a decision to level, while he put a foot in a chair and leaned on his knee. “You’re right. I am stubborn. However, she is the most obstinate women I have ever met. We can’t come to terms about what is essential.” He pulled a cigar out of his shirt pocket and struck a match on his jeans. After a long draw, he continued.
“She doesn’t appreciate the magnitude of the fate of the Indians and I certainly don’t understand her obsession with being so damned independent. Our marriage doesn’t stand a chance in hell.” He dropped his foot to the floor. “She wants an annulment and I guess I can’t blame her.”
John sat at his desk and lit a cigar. “I’m certainly sorry to hear it, you are both friends of mine, and I wanted it to work out.”
They continued with small talk until Cash, with a quick jab to John’s arm, made his exit and with no further business to settle, rode to catch up with Slim.
Cash sat next to Slim in the buckboard while he filled him in on recent happenings at the ranch.
He had hired six men, including Billy Winters, to go with Cash and drive the horses he had purchased on the layover when returning home. Just completing a roundup of mustangs from Texas, the horse trader gave Cash his pick of the herd.
After their conversation, Cash had Slim stop so he could mount Rabbit.
The clear blue sky stretched over the great prairie dotted with trees and cattle when Cash arrived to the welcoming site of his ranch with freshly painted bunkhouse and barn. Men busy erecting new holding pens added to the vision of his burgeoning spread.
Herefords grazed on emerald blades stretching to the sun. The stream swollen with runoff flowed clear and steady through lush green meadows backed by snow peaked mountains standing behind the white ranch house. Gray smoke curled from the chimney of the grub house into the cloudless blue sky.
Crouched over a fire stirring embers laden with red-hot irons, Billy stood erect, noticing Cash’s approach. With his right leg encircling the horn of his saddle, forearm along his knee, Cash pushed back his hat and leaned forward. “I would have thought you would be at the bank.”
“You know I’d rather be ranchin’. I’m branding some mavericks we came across so we can let them out with the herd. Sure is great to see you working cattle again.”
“I’m glad to be back. We will be leaving in a few days to drive some horses up from the Nebraska border.” He reined Rabbit toward the grub house where Slim unloaded supplies from the wagon with the assistance of three other hands.
Cash dismounted and walked toward his foreman. “Did you find a decent cookie?”
Slim looked up from the task. “The chuck’s not bad. Go see for yerself.”
He strolled into the kitchen where the cook stood in front of a cast iron stove. He plopped some stew on a tin plate along with two biscuits and shoved it at Cash then turned and left the room without uttering a single word.
Cash shook his head then sat down at the table on a wooden bench and ate his meal, pleased Slim had found a good cook.
***
Diane greeted Cash at the door when he arrived for supper and gave him a hug. “Come on in, Cash. I’ll fix you a drink.”
Mike joined them and shook hands with Cash. “How did your cattle winter? Did you lose many head?”
Cash sat in a chair and crossed a leg over his knee. “Slim said we lost a few head. Not bad considering all the blizzards I heard you had.”
Diane noticed Cash reserved and quiet and knew the reason had to be Raeden. She and her niece corresponded regularly, and Raeden always asked about Cash, wondering if she had heard from him while in Washington. John mentioned getting a letter from her asking the same thing.
She knew of nothing to say to star-crossed lovers and did not want to try. It fell on the two of them. They would have to work it out.
***
Cash enjoyed dinner with Diane and Mike, thankful the subject of Raeden did not arise. He left anxious to see Angie. It had been some time since he had a woman.
When he pushed through the saloon door, Angie jumped from her chair at the poker table and let out a squeal while she ran toward him, her high-heeled shoes clacking on the wooden floor. He smiled when she jumped into his arms, grasping his neck in a snug hold while wrapping her legs around his waist. She planted a kiss on his lips. Undisguised joy beamed from her face. “I’ve been waiting for Friday. I’m so happy to see you.”
He spun her around once then grasped her arms, lowering her to the floor. Cash teased her. “A welcome like this could get you into trouble.”
“Trouble like that I can handle. Let’s have a drink.” She pulled his arm over her bare shoulder and with one arm around his back they walked to the bar. He ran his fingers through her silky blonde curls while downing his drink then cupping her chin in his hand he bent to kiss her, hard and demanding.
She moved toward the stairs. “Come up and I’ll show you how the new dress looks.” Her eyes shuttered and veiled
with desire, stared into his. He ran a hand over the smooth porcelain skin of her bare shoulders and guided her upstairs. When they stood outside her door, Cash turned on his heel and left.
***
He stood at the bar drinking whiskey, thinking of Raeden. The special intimate bond once shared between them always left him lacking when he thought of bedding other women. Having tasted Raeden, it would probably never be the same, but knew he had to live without her and hoped at some point, he might be able to forget.
Knowing sleep would not come, he mounted Rabbit and rode into the darkness, a silver full moon lighting their path. Without his cause to keep him busy, he felt empty inside. It had been a long time since he had opened up to anyone. Now he wished to God he had never seen her. Sometimes the pain inside the pit of his stomach became almost unbearable.
Fifty-three
Concern for her weight loss, Raeden’s doctor ordered more bed rest and shorter work hours. Unwilling to jeopardize her baby, she freely complied. It helped somewhat. She held more food down while her condition remained unnoticed as far as her waistline, but she knew it would be only temporary.
She had relied on Sally’s professional talents more since her infirmity and wondered how long she could keep her little secret hidden, making excuses for her absences, trying to conceal her pallor with rouge and the endless trips to the bathroom when she showed up at the small factory.
Standing naked before her mirror, she glanced at the tiny bulge, accentuated by her thin frame. She imagined ways to design stylish clothing for expectant mothers that would be comfortable and chic when rounded bellies grew and their other clothes no longer fit. The concept amused her, and she wondered what Jenkins’s reaction would be when she brought him her new idea.
***
Cash and his men loaded their horses into the livestock cars at Chamberlain station. The segment to the Nebraska border was short compared to the trip back on horseback, driving the herd to the ranch.
Having been a long time since he had herded livestock, his anticipation grew as they reached their destination. He purchased a new chuck wagon and once stocked, they began the drive home.
His hands commented on the caliber of horseflesh he had purchased, anxious to tame the steeds and pick one for their own purpose. The camaraderie by the campfire brought back memories of past good times with the boys out on the range. He had missed ranching. It felt good to be back. He wondered what had possessed him to quit this fulfilling life in the first place and abandon the life he grew up with to hide in the shadows of guilt and despair.
The group led by Cash cut across plains bypassing Chamberlain for a more direct route, arriving at their destination spattered with mud. They were ready to bust broncs to show off their prowess and prove their manhood to one another like most young cowboys letting off steam.
Cash leaned on the fence, boot raised with the heel crooked on a slat smoking a cigar, admiring the herd. The men began taking bets on who would break the most. He grinned in amusement, knowing with certainty who would gentle the greatest amount of horses. Slim had a way with equines surpassed by no one he had met. Cash had acquired special skills as a youth running with the Cheyenne but Slim would more than likely tame two to his one.
***
Sally a widow with three youngsters would sometimes bring in her well-behaved children to work and Raeden enjoyed playing games and entertaining them while Sally supervised the crew.
Raeden had designed a few dresses for Rachael, Sally’s daughter, to parade in while not in uniform from the private school Raeden had insisted upon for all of her children at the company’s expense.
They sat over lunch at the Village café discussing strategies for Designs by Raeden, having not missed one deadline while the reputation soared.
Drinking tea, Sally leaned toward Raeden. “You know, I have been concerned with your health of late, and I’m happy you’re feeling better. But if I didn’t know better, I would think you’re going to have a baby.”
They had become good friends over the past months and the thought of unloading her burden along with the tension would be a good idea. “Yes, Sally, I am pregnant. Going on four months now.”
Sally patted Raeden’s hand across the bistro table. “It must be difficult being a widow and all. I certainly know what it’s like to raise children alone, though it is much easier now with the generous salary I’m receiving.”
Deciding to unload the entire story, she drew a deep breath. “Sally, my husband is not dead. We’re separated and we don’t get along.” She plopped her hands in her lap. “I’ve sent legal papers but he has not returned them and I’m afraid if he found out about the baby, he might force me to go with him or worse, take my child.”
She smoothed the folds of her dress over her legs and brushed a wayward curl from her forehead. “He would be furious if I told him and he may not believe it’s his. If I knew for sure how he would react, I would go ahead and let him know, then he would have to release me, but I’m so tired of telling lies.”
Sally just listened while Raeden fidgeted in her seat. “I can’t raise a child in a household with parents constantly quarrelling, and he is always attempting to bend my will to his liking. He even forced me into this marriage I didn’t want.”
Sally’s brows drew together and a frown curved her mouth. “That decision should have been yours. I don’t blame you for leaving. Did he beat you?”
Raeden laughed. “No, he didn’t beat me, except emotionally.”
Sally’s brow furled together. “Do you still love him?”
Raeden’s eyes widened at the question and she paused for a moment. “Actually, I love him madly but I have to be my own person. It’s hard to explain, but I feel he doesn’t want to love me and blames me because he does.”
She dropped her eyes to the floor and her cheeks stung with heat. “In all candor, when he attempts to force his iron will, I’m a shrew. I say awful things, hurtful things I regret later and then he avoids me.”
Tears rimmed her lids. “All I want is some respect for what I am. I respect his choices. Is it too much to ask?”
Sally sat back in her seat. “You certainly are a modern woman. I’m surprised you are not marching with Susan Anthony.”
Raeden perked in her seat. “Its funny you should mention Susan Anthony. She has based her new movement in New York. There’s going to be a conference and Jenny and I are going to attend. Perhaps you can come along as well.”
Sally laughed. “I can see where a man would have a difficult time with you. Have you mentioned any of this to him?”
Back on the subject at hand, Raeden centered her thoughts on her problem with Cash and spoke while her bottom lip quivered. “I have never told him. When he starts issuing orders, I just snap and I don’t want to hear the insults which are bound to arise.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “All he ever thinks about is those Indian friends of his. And not sending the papers just could be a way to teach me a lesson.”
Raeden suddenly chuckled. “I know this sounds awful but we did get along fabulously in bed.” Both women laughed and Raeden felt lighter, placing a hand over her bump.
“At least you can take care of yourself and provide for your child with its needs along with anything else you wish to lavish on the little one.”
“I appreciate your help, Sally. I couldn’t do this without you.”
They finished their meal and returned to the warehouse to complete their duties for the day. Parting for the night, Sally gave Raeden a hug. “Everything will turn out. Just you wait and see. I have an intuition about these things.”
***
Knees folded in front, Raeden sat in her bed completing the latest sketches for Sally. She had finished several outfits for herself and pleased with the fullness and drape around the waistline, she planned to discuss her plans with Jenkins for her expectant mother line.
Into her fourth month, the nausea had abated and she had gained enough weight back to p
lease her doctor so she could now spend more time at the shop and take outings in the park with Arte and Jenny.
After she broke the news about the baby to Jenny, told her everything, Jenny promised to keep it to herself as long as Raeden wanted her to.
She had taken it upon herself to quit riding and leased a buggy. Arte, though not fond of his new duty, behaved admirably.
As spring unfolded, cherry trees bore their minute buds waiting to blossom and display their pink umbrellas over the city while gardens became green and lush.
Outside her bedroom window, noisy birds began migrating into the area filling the air with the sounds of the new season.
Before dressing for dinner at the St. Charles Hotel with Jenkins, she composed letters to her family and friends. She omitted the pregnancy, still afraid Cash might discover her secret.
She didn’t know exactly how she would handle the situation. The thought had occurred to live in France and have the baby there. It sounded like a plausible solution to her dilemma, and she did speak French.
She mentioned to Diane about her invitation to the show in Paris and asked about Cash, as always. From previous communications, she had learned he returned home and appeared happy but Diane never mentioned if Cash had ever asked about her in return. It hurt to think he could forget about her so easily when she spent so much time remembering him. Raeden kept waiting for the memories to dim but they seemed to get stronger with each passing day.
After collecting her latest sketches and dressing in one of her expectant mother ensembles, Raeden met Jenkins at the St Charles. The sleek imported marble floors held tables covered with white linens surrounded by ornately carved chairs upholstered in winter-white brocade.
The dark burgundy draperies hung over expansive multi-paned windows and accentuated the Oriental designed runners placed around the grand room.
