“Well, yeah. It’s what I do.”
“For how long?”
“It’ll be close to six months.”
“When do you leave?”
He cocked his head and a crease formed between his brows. “As soon as I get back. I need to get in touch with the sergeant major to make arrangements.”
The bottom dropped out of her stomach. It’s too soon. I just found him again.
It felt like something she’d always wanted was slipping through her fingers — again. Her reaction was out of proportion to the situation, but it felt significant. Like a moment in time that could determine the rest of her life.
The backs of his fingers on the side of her neck sent a jolt of longing through her.
“Emme, you’re worrying me. Are you hot? Should we go inside?”
She grasped his palm. “No. I’m just surprised they’re making you deploy as soon as you get back.”
“I need to get back to my guys.” His voice was soft.
She got it. She did. That didn’t mean she liked it. She gave him a tight smile and pulled his hand away from her neck.
CHAPTER TEN
Someone screamed. He struggled against the bonds of sleep, wresting free of the veil that held him down. Sitting up in bed, he cocked his head, listening. Emme’d had nightmares the last two nights, but she’d woken herself each time. She’d been strong when telling Westin about everything that had happened, but he hated that she was reliving it in her sleep. If her’s were anything like his own nightmares, they would be bad.
There it was again. Slightly muffled, followed by an anguished sob coming from across the suite. He pushed back the covers and grabbed the t-shirt from the end of the bed, pulling it over his head. He jogged across the suite and he stood just outside her door. She’d left it cracked and he listened. Another cry and he eased through the door.
She lay on one side of the huge bed, tangled in sheets. She whimpered and rolled toward the middle of the bed.
Damn, she wasn’t waking on her own. He sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to touch her and startle her awake.
“Shhhh shhhh shhhh. It’s okay Emme. You’re safe.”
Her eyes snapped opened and she jerked away from him. “Jordan?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I heard you scream.”
“Oh.” She closed her eye and covered her face with her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Emme, you don’t need to be sorry. Nightmares are normal. I expected them before now, to be honest.”
She sniffled into her pillow.
Shit. What was he supposed to do? “Do you want me to leave?”
She shook her head, still buried in the pillow.
He reached out to touch her, but stopped. “I don’t— I don’t know what to do, Emme.”
“Will you hold me?” Her voice was soft. Unsure.
Shit, it broke his heart.
Lying next to her, he slid an arm under her pillow and gathered her close, trying to be gentle. At his touch, she launched herself at him, burrowing into the crook of his neck. Sobs wracked her body.
Fuck. I think I’d rather be shot at. All he could do was rub her back and make shushing sounds while she cried her eyes out. It worked. Either that or exhaustion took over, but she finally settled into sleep.
His body noticed how well she fit against him. His mind told him to quit being an asshole.
The first thing Emme noticed was the steady heartbeat under her ear. The second was the pool of drool under her cheek. So gross. And embarrassing.
She lifted her head. Maybe it would dry before he woke up. Her plan was thwarted when his arms tightened around her. Tilting her head back, she found him looking at her in the predawn light.
“Morning.” His voice was gruff and still thick with sleep.
“Morning. I drooled on you.”
His smile was almost blinding. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back. “Not the worst thing I’ve ever been covered in.”
Pulling the edge of the sheet up, she wiped at her cheek. “Sorry.”
His arm tightened around her briefly. “Gotta stop apologizing, babe. None of this is worth saying sorry for.”
“Thank you, then.”
He looked back at her. “For what?”
“Staying with me last night.” She dropped her gaze. “Rescuing me. I don’t think I’ve said it.”
“Think it’s one of those things that can go without saying. You doing okay?”
Was she doing okay? Her shoulder ached. Every now and then, her ribs would twinge when she breathed too deeply. Her face was still a patchwork of fading bruises. Physically, she’d heal. But everything else? The mental things? The nightmares and flashbacks? She’d need to talk to someone. But right now… Tears welled up in her eyes.
“Hey. Hey, hey. What’s going on? What happened?”
She shook her head and tried to hide her face.
“Emme, talk to me.”
“I can’t,” she whispered. What could she say? She couldn’t even explain it to herself.
“Do you want me to leave?”
She moved closer to him and shook her head. That was the last thing she wanted. Jordan made her feel safe. Protected. She knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. He’d literally fought for her already.
“You’re killing me. I don’t know what to do.” His hands ran up and down her back, trying to sooth her.
“Kiss me.” Oh, jeez. Did she really just say that? Is that what she wanted?
“Emme—”
“Please, Jordan.” She unburied her head. “I want you to kiss me. I need you to. I need to feel something other than all the crap I’m feeling now.”
A small furrow appeared between his brows.
“Please,” she whispered.
His head tilted and hovered a hairsbreadth away from her lips. She slid her hand behind his head, running her fingers over the soft stubble at the base of his neck and pulled him closer. His lips were firm but gentle.
She didn’t want gentle. She wanted to feel.
She wanted to feel him.
Opening her mouth, she touched her tongue to his lips.
His sharp inhale signaled his surprise and he groaned. “Emme.”
“More.” She pressed her mouth against his again. He reciprocated and his tongue laved her bottom lip before delving into her mouth to tangle with hers. She moaned and pressed closer, closing the distance between their bodies.
Now she realized why he’d kept some space between them. His erection nudged her lower stomach through their pajama bottoms. She threw her leg over his hips, eliciting a deep groan.
He ended their kiss, pressing his forehead against hers. His breathing was harsh. Tortured. “Emme, we have to stop.”
“No, we don’t.” She tried to pull him back to her mouth, but he resisted.
“You’ve just gone through a horrible experience. I know you’re feeling a lot of confusing emotions, but this isn’t the way to handle them.”
“You don’t understand. You might think you do, but you don’t. All my power was stripped from me. I was beaten and tossed around like I was trash. I need to feel something good. I need to have hands on me that don’t bring me pain.”
God, she sounded pathetic. She was begging a man to touch her. Something she’d promised she’d never do again after Jordan, of all people, made her realize she was better than that.
What was she doing? He was right — this wasn’t the way to handle her issues.
Shame washed over her. Tucking her chin, she tried to roll to the edge of the bed. The bathroom was as good a place as any to hide until he went back to his own room.
His arms held her in place. “Don’t run. You’re vulnerable right now. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
Funny, she’d had the same thought. She flattened her palms on his chest, smoothing the thin material of his shirt. “What if I’m taking advantage of you?”<
br />
“How could you take advantage of me?”
Peeking up at him through her lashes, she caught the confusion in his eyes. “What if all I am is the damsel in distress and you’re my knight in shining armor?”
“I’m feeling a lot of things right now, but knight in shining armor isn’t one of them. Do you feel like a damsel in distress?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “And that’s the problem. I don’t want to feel like that.” She took a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have— You can let me up now.”
His hand ran down her lower back, over her butt, and down her thigh — still resting over his hips. She expected him to push her leg off, but he pulled her closer instead pressing his erection against her. It was her turn to groan.
His lips traveled across her face, landing on every cut and bruise he could reach. “I feel like an ass.”
“Why?”
“I should do the right thing.” His mouth moved down her neck.
“What’s the right thing?”
“Let you go. Get out of this bed and walk away.”
Her thumb brushed his nipple. “I don’t want that.”
He nipped at her ear. “I don’t either. I want to kiss everything better. Every cut. Every bruise. Everywhere you hurt and everywhere you don’t.” One of his hands found her breast, lifting and squeezing. “I don’t have any protection, so that’s all I can do.”
“There’s a box of condoms in the bedside table.”
He lifted his head. “How do you know that?”
She shrugged and averted her eyes, suddenly embarrassed. “I snooped after my bath last night.”
“Nothing wrong with snooping.” His finger crooked under her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Yes. This is what I want. You’re what I want.”
His lips found hers again. So gentle, it made her heart ache. Even if he was only doing this because she asked him, she knew he was going to treat her like the most precious of treasures.
“Tell me if I hurt you,” he whispered against her mouth.
“You’re not hurting me.” She rolled to her back and he followed, propping his weight of on his elbows. Her legs opened, letting him settle in the junction of her thighs. Lifting her her hips, she told him without words what she wanted. He thrust gently and she inhaled sharply as desire flashed through her.
“Are you okay?” His mouth traveled down her neck, trailing kisses as he moved lower.
“How about if I tell you when I’m not okay?” She gasped when his mouth found her nipple through her shirt. Sparks shot through her body, sending tingles straight to her happy place. He moved to her other breast and gave it the same attention. Fireworks went off inside her.
Endorphins. Residual adrenaline. Jordan. Evolutionary imperative. Whatever it was, her body was on fire in a way it had never been before. His mouth kept moving down and he used his nose to nudge her shirt up over her belly.
He rose up on his knees and hooked his fingers under the hem of her shirt. “Do you want to take this off?”
Nodding, she arched her back, then lifted her torso and arms so he could pull it off. Inch by slow inch he gathered her shirt in his hands. She wasn’t sure if he was taking his time with the reveal or giving her time to change her mind. Letting him do it his way, she waited until she was finally free and watched him suck in a breath. She knew she had at least two large bruises on her upper chest and her shoulder was a mishmash of colors from being dislocated.
The rough pads of his fingers traced each mark, his thumb running across her collarbone and shoulder. His mouth and tongue followed as he kept his word to kiss all her hurts.
Her eyes stung at the gentle way he was treating her. She needed to get back to task. Her hands burrowed under his t-shirt. “Your turn. Take this off.”
He grabbed the hem and yanked it over his head, sending it sailing in the general direction he’d sent hers. His abs weren’t perfect, but they were pretty damn close. A smattering of blonde hair covered his chest and the old-school American traditional tattoos on his chest. Her eyes followed the thin trail that started just below his belly button and disappeared into the waist band of his pajama pants. His hard-on tented the front and she licked her lips.
“Christ. Don’t do that.”
Her gaze flew up to his. “Do what?”
“Lick your lips while you’re starring at my cock. Otherwise, this isn’t going to go the way I plan.”
She raised her eyebrows. “How do you plan for it to go?”
He gave her a lopsided grin. “You’ll see.” He lapped at her belly button before nipping at her lower abdomen, above her waist band. Moving lower, he blew hot breath through her pants before grabbing a handful of material at her hips and pulling her pants down her legs.
She panted, praying he wouldn’t stop and that she wouldn’t embarrass herself by coming as soon as he touched her. His hands pushed her thighs apart and he wedged his shoulders between her legs. Spreading her outer folds with this thumbs, he tongued the hood of her clit.
Her whole body trembled. She pressed her head back into the pillow and bit her lips to keep from moaning.
“Don’t hold back, Emme. Give it to me.”
He kept her spread as he licked and sucked at her most sensitive parts. The orgasm coiled deep in her belly like a spring wound too tight. One more turn, one small touch, and it would explode. Jordan pressed his tongue hard against her clit and pushed two fingers into her.
Her world shattered and reverberations spread through her body in waves. She fisted the sheets in her hands and bit back a scream while straining against his hold. She wanted to escape and be closer at the same time. Her hips moved in rhythm to the waves of pleasure coursing through her. The pressure of his tongue eased up as her movements became less frenzied, until he barely touched her. All the tension left her body at once. If she could have collapsed, she would have. Good thing she was already lying down.
His hands left her and she heard the drawer of the table open. The bed shifted and she peeled open her eyes to watch him pull his pants off, foil packet gripped in his teeth. Her breathing picked back up at the sight of him.
God, he was beautiful. He tore the foil packet open and rolled the condom over his erection. His body covered hers, his cock nudging her opening.
“Do you want to keep going?”
Her eyes widened. “Kind of late to be asking that, isn’t it?”
He shook his head. “It’s never too late to ask that. If you’ve had enough, I’ll stop.”
She shifted her hips, rubbing her slick opening along his hard length. “What about you?”
Gritting his teeth, he said, “I’ll go rub one out in the shower.”
Running her hands down his sides, she grabbed his butt and pulled him in tight. “As much as I’d like to watch that, I want to keep going.”
He kissed her. Hard and carnal, none of his earlier gentleness evident. She could tell he was still holding back because of her injuries. His tongue swept into her mouth, mimicking the motion of his hips as he entered her.
She wrapped her legs high on his waist, digging her heels into his ass. He surged forward, sinking deep and she contracted around him. He pulled out and pushed back in, setting a steady rhythm. Her hips rocked to match him.
“Oh god, Emme. You feel so good.” His breath was harsh and hot on her neck, where his face was tucked. One hand worked its way between her lower back and the bed. He tilted her hips, changing the angle, allowing him to go even deeper.
The spring coiled tight again, slower this time. She concentrated on the feel of him. The push and pull. The rub of his pelvis on her sensitive nub. She buried her head in his shoulder and let out a sob as the spring released again.
Her orgasm set him off. He thrust hard, shortening his strokes until he sank into her and stayed there while his body shuddered. He rolled them to the side, onto her good shoulder, keeping their connection.
>
She didn’t know how long they’d lain there. All she knew was she could feel him still throbbing inside her. Every time, her body would respond with an answering pulse. She whimpered when he withdrew.
“Need to get rid of this.” He kissed her before rolling out of the bed and walking into the bathroom.
Emme watched his retreat while her mind raced. Holy cow. She’d just had sex with Jordan. Really good sex. Hire-a-skywriter good sex. She should have listened to him. Should have let him hold her and left it at that. Because she was pretty sure she’d fallen in love with him.
It’s just endorphins. The trauma.
Shit. Who was she kidding? She’d been in love with Jordan Grant since she was fifteen years old. She’d been fooling herself for the past decade and a half, telling herself it was a school-girl crush. She probably could have kept up that lie if this hadn’t happened, but now she knew the feel of his body in hers. No one had ever measured up to the myth she’d built in her head and now no one would ever be able to live up to the reality.
He came back into the room and she cursed herself for not taking the time to put her clothes back on. He didn’t seem to have an issue with it since he climbed back into the bed with her. He folded an arm under his head and lay on his back next to her, starring at the ceiling.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
She smiled. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
He turned his head and smirked. “I forgot how sarcastic you could be. No regrets?”
Was he unsure himself? “No. Absolutely no regrets.”
Nodding, he looked back at the ceiling. “Do you want me to go to my room?”
Panic rushed through her. “No,” she all but shouted.
“Okay. It’s okay. I won’t go anywhere.” He raised up on an elbow and turned toward her. “Do you want me to put clothes on?”
No, she did not want him to put clothes on. She had Jordan Grant naked in bed with her. Every coming of age fantasy she’d had was now reality.
“Emme?”
“No?”
He smiled wide. “Why did you say it like a question?”
“Well, because I basically told you I want you naked.”
Rescued Heart (Titan World) Page 8
