Once I was sure I was thoroughly clean yet again, I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel from the rack for my hair and one for my body. Wrapping my hair in the towel on top of my head, I took my time drying off before making my way back in the bedroom to get dressed for the day.
Marcus was still asleep in bed, and I couldn’t help but smile. We’d been up pretty late talking about the appointment today and how excited we were. Marcus talked to my stomach a few times, and we finally fell asleep together. I was too anxious to stay asleep and couldn’t wait to get there. I wanted to see my baby.
I got dressed in my red sweater and my favorite jeans, glad they still fit even if they were a little snug. They were calling for snow later. After breaking down on the way to Marcus’ house last winter in nothing but a t-shirt and my jacket, I knew to at least take layers if I didn’t want to wear them at the time.
Feeling good for the first time in a few days, I decided to make breakfast. I wasn’t the best cook, that was for sure, but I could make a few things. I was in the mood for French toast, and I hoped Marcus would be too.
It didn’t take long for the smell of breakfast to wake Marcus from his slumber. I grinned when I saw him walk into the kitchen while I was finishing the eggs. I was slightly disappointed to see him fully dressed in his one pair of jeans that didn’t look worn and a blue button up that brought out the color of his eyes. He looked good, but I wouldn’t have complained had he been in his boxers for a while longer. Or naked.
“Morning, sunshine,” I greeted him without turning around.
“Good morning,” he said from directly behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. “Is any of this edible? Because it smells delicious.”
“Hey!”
He backed away when I tried to elbow him, laughing as he went to get the orange juice out of the fridge.
“I can cook. Some things.” I glared at him.
He gave me a smirk while drinking straight from the jug. “Yeah. Cereal. Maybe peanut butter and jelly.” He laughed, dodging the towel I threw at him. He winked, getting a couple of glasses and poured us some orange juice. “Okay, so maybe you can cook some things.”
I put a couple of pieces of French toast on a plate along with some bacon and scrambled eggs before taking it over to Marcus where he sat at the bar. I glared at him again, and he smirked before going to get my own plate and joining him.
“This is actually really good, Han,” he said in between bites, nudging me with his elbow.
I tried to pretend to stay mad, but I couldn’t help but grin a little as I ate. “Told you I could cook.”
“I knew you could.” He stood with his plate and kissed my head before taking it to the sink.
I snorted and shook my head, amazed at how quickly he could inhale his food.
“Hurry up. We have a date,” he said, winking before disappearing back in his bedroom, maybe to finish getting ready.
I looked down at my plate of half-eaten food and suddenly felt too stuffed to finish. Marcus’ enthusiasm made me that much more excited, but it also made me more nervous.
As I got up to clear my plate and add it to Marcus’ in the sink, I thought about all the things I’d foolishly read online. About how high the chances of miscarriages were in the first trimester. About how a number of those miscarriages went undetected because it was so early. So many things could have went wrong already, and we wouldn’t know until we got there. I hadn’t realized how big of a hypochondriac I was until I got pregnant. All the things my mind could come up with were awful.
I hadn’t told Marcus about any of the things I’d read about. He was doing his own research, but he didn’t tell me anything bad so I gave him the same courtesy. Maybe if we didn’t speak of them out loud, it would make the bad feelings go away.
I could only hope.
“You ready?” Marcus asked from behind me, making me jump.
“Yeah,” I said as I turned to face him to find him grinning at me. That man loved to startle me for some reason. “Oh, stop.”
“What?” He laughed but followed as I went to grab my purse from the table before heading to the front door.
it felt like we’d just walked out of the front door when Marcus pulled into the hospital parking lot. I was grateful that my OB’s office was located right where I would deliver. We’d decided on Rita Lopez. She was the only woman in this office, so the choice for me was easy.
“Are you nervous?” I asked Marcus.
“A little, I guess.” He gave me a small smile. “But it’s a good nervous.”
I laughed, shaking my head. Good nervous. Was there even such a thing?
“I can’t believe this is it,” I admitted.
Marcus reached over to squeeze my hand. “Let’s go.”
The walk seemed to pass in a blink. Marcus held my hand the entire way and smiled as he took a seat so I could sign in and get all my paperwork to fill out. It all just happened so fast.
I sat there next to him, staring at all the paperwork like it was going to spontaneously combust at any moment.
Did I smoke? No. Did I drink alcohol? No. Have I ever or do I currently abuse prescription drugs? Um, that would be a no. Have I ever or do I currently use heroin, cocaine, methamphetamines, or any other recreational drugs? Definitely a no as well. Were people actually honest when filling out these papers?
“You misspelled your name.”
I blinked at the sound of Marcus’ voice. “What?” I looked over at him, confused.
He tapped the clipboard holding my papers in my hand. “Your name. It’s misspelled.”
I frowned and leaned in to look again. Of course, I had spelled my name correctly.
His laugh brought my attention back to him. “You looked like that thing was going to sprout horns and teeth. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I sighed, looking back at the paperwork. “It’s just a bit overwhelming.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into him, drawing strength from him.
Just then, I heard my name being called. I looked up and saw a pretty, petite, blond nurse wearing pink Minnie Mouse scrubs smiling at us. So soon? I wasn’t even done with my paperwork yet.
“You can finish that back there,” she said, and I wondered if I’d actually spoken that last bit out loud.
Marcus stood and took the clipboard from me before taking my hand and pulling me up with him. I smiled up at him, silently thanking him for taking the reins when it was obvious I needed it.
We followed the nurse through the door to the hallway that lead to the exam rooms, and she stopped by a set of scales. After getting my weight, showing that I had gained about five pounds more than I was expecting, she led us back to the exam room where we would wait for Dr. Lopez and told us someone would be in to get my vitals in just a minute.
I took a deep breath and sat down on the exam table, the sound of the paper underneath me seeming louder than it should. I couldn’t stop moving, which made the sound that much more annoying.
Marcus went to take a seat in one of the two chairs by the wall, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him to my side. Without question, he leaned against the exam table and wrapped his arm around me once again.
It seemed silly to be as nervous as I was, but I couldn’t seem to help it. I knew Marcus well enough to know he was trying his best to hide his nervousness for my benefit. His teeth were working the inside of his cheek, and he was trying to avoid eye contact with me. If he were anyone else, I’d have taken offense to his seemingly uncaring mannerisms.
I’d just remembered I should have been doing the paperwork when there was a knock on my door.
Another equally pretty, petite blond nurse came in wearing a solid blue pair of scrubs. What? Did they only hire pretty blondes to work here? I had no idea where the sudden hostility came from, but I could only blame my nerves. Not that I’d have made a comment like that out loud.
“Hi,
I’m Heather. I’m just going to get your vitals and ask you a few questions,” she sat what I assume was my chart on the counter before coming to grab the blood pressure cuff. “Can you state your name and date of birth for me?”
“Hannah Combs. June 6, 1990.”
She glanced at my charts for confirmation. “Great. Could you roll your sleeve up for me?”
I did, and she put the cuff on my arm, put her stethoscope in her ears, and started squeezing the balloon in her hand.
“Blood pressure is good,” she said, pulling her stethoscope back down around her neck and replacing the cuff to where it was kept on the wall. “Now you’re temperature.”
I glanced over at Marcus, just because, and he grinned. Before I knew it, the thermometer was in my mouth. A few seconds later, the beep sounded, and Heather wrote down what the machine said.
“Temp is good, too.” She grinned, taking a seat on the stool in front of where she placed my chart. She glanced back over at me and then at Marcus.
I didn’t miss the quick once over she gave him before going back to my chart. One glance at Marcus told me he didn’t miss it either. I elbowed him in the ribs, making him laugh. At least that eased some of the tension I was feeling.
I was used to women looking at Marcus. I may not like it, but Marcus was a faithful man. I trusted him and knew he’d never do something like that to hurt me. He wouldn’t do something like that to anyone. He was a gentleman, through and through.
“I understand you’re here for your first ultrasound.” She looked up at me with a big smile. “How exciting!”
I could tell she meant that and that relieved the rest of my tension.
Another knock at the door had all of us turning towards the sound. Another nurse poked her head in and apologized to us before telling Heather she needed her for a minute. Heather apologized as well and excused herself.
I looked over at Marcus, and he shrugged.
“I guess I can finish my paperwork now.” I held out my hand for Marcus to hand it to me, and he did before taking a seat.
I didn’t really have that much left to do so I finished fairly quickly. It had just been a lot to take in, but my nerves were somewhat calmed now, and I was able to get it done before Heather came back into the room.
“Sorry about that,” she said before taking her seat again. “It seems Dr. Lopez is in delivery right now and might be awhile. We’ll go ahead and get your information in the system, and I can take you back for your ultrasound while we wait.”
Music to my ears.
“Sounds good,” I said, relieved I wouldn’t have to sit here and wait for the doctor to be finished to get anything done.
Marcus was grinning. He really couldn’t wait for this ultrasound either.
“All right. Let’s get some information from you.”
thank god it didn’t take long for the nurse to get what she needed from Hannah. I was ready to see our baby. Was I still nervous? I wasn’t sure I’d even make a good father. Everyone else seemed to think I would though, and that counted for something.
I tried not to let the words my father said to me make me think right now. There would be plenty of time for that later. I was where I belonged. For now, I wanted to be here. With Hannah. Ready to see the life we created.
“You’re not far enough along to see by a regular ultrasound,” the tech said, pulling on a pair of gloves.
The nurse had led us down the hall to a room labeled “Ultrasound” and passed us off to the woman seat on the other side of Hannah. Her name was Claire.
“This will be an internal ultrasound.” She held up what looked like a thick wand, and I cringed.
When we first got back to the room we were in now, Heather the nurse had left a hospital robe for Hannah to change into. There was a bathroom off to the side of the room so Hannah changed in there. I was a little relieved. I didn’t need any sexual distractions right now.
Now Hannah lay on the table, her back propped up with pillows. The tech covered her with a sheet before she’d put her feet in the stirrups at the foot of the bed. I stayed by her head anyways, her hand in mine. Heather poked her head into the room after knocking and came on inside.
“Dr. Lopez is going to be a while longer and asked if you wanted to wait or reschedule. She can see you tomorrow morning.”
Hannah frowned and looked up at me before looking back at Heather.
“You can continue with the ultrasound now, of course. This will just be for her to examine you herself and talk about your plans.”
“Oh,” Hannah said, visibly relaxing. Her grip on my hand lessened a little. I hadn’t even realized she was squeezing it so hard until she stopped. “Um,” she said as she looked up at me in question.
I was supposed to work tomorrow, but I was sure I could figure something out.
“Tomorrow morning will be fine,” I said to the nurse, smile at her.
She nodded and told us she would mark it down, and we were free to leave after the ultrasound and walked back out the door. When she was gone, I smiled down at Hannah, and I could see the excitement in her eyes. I was sure it matched mine, and I could hardly contain it.
“All right, Hannah. This will be cool, and you’ll feel a little pressure. Just relax.” The tech said, her hand disappearing from view underneath the sheet that had been pulled over Hannah’s knees.
Hannah gasped, but it was barely audible. What was more noticeable was the way she tensed, squeezing my hand again at the initial intrusion. It wasn’t but a few seconds in when we heard the static sounds being replaced with something else, and Hannah relaxed again. I couldn’t really describe the sound. Like a clock under water, maybe?
“There’s the heartbeat,” she said.
It was my turn to gasp. Once she said what we were listening to, it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“It’s strong. That’s good.” She was smiling at us. “Let’s see if we can get some measurements, and I’ll snap some pictures for you.”
She focused on the screen in front of us while she moved her arm, the only indication she was actually moving the wand that was inside of Hannah because I couldn’t see from the sheet. I could see the black screen flow with the movements, and finally, there was a big blob of white. Sorry, but that’s exactly what it looked like at first.
My face was hurting from how much I was grinning. That was my blob. I created that blob. I looked down. There were tears in Hannah’s eyes. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head before standing back up and looking back myself.
“Hmm,” Claire said. She frowned at the screen for a moment before frowning at Hannah’s chart.
“Something wrong?” I couldn’t help myself. If something was wrong, I definitely didn’t want any of them to beat around the bush.
“Not wrong, no.” She looked up and grinned at me before going back to the task at hand. “Just a miscalculation, I’d say.”
Miscalculation? What the hell was she talking about? She seemed as calm and relaxed as she had when we began, all the confusion and the tension I felt from her just moments ago gone. My tension, however, was still very much present. A miscalculation seemed like a bigger deal than she was letting on. I didn’t even know what kind of miscalculation she could be talking about.
“What do you mean a miscalculation?” Thankfully, Hannah still had her voice, though it was very soft.
“Well, according to your chart,” she said, glancing back down at it, “you should be just a little over eight weeks along right now.”
My heart just stopped. Should be?
“But according to this, your baby is measuring about fifteen weeks.”
I blinked. What?
“Fifteen weeks? T-that’s impossible.” I could barely hear Hannah over the rushing in my ears.
Fifteen weeks. That was impossible. We’d barely been together for two months. I didn’t look away from the screen, even when I felt Hannah looking at me and squeezing my hand. She and the tech both said someth
ing, but I’ll be damned if I couldn’t hear a single thing they said.
Fifteen weeks? I frowned deeply, staring at the living creation on the screen. It was moving a little, and I almost smiled. Almost. I was racking my brain, trying to do the math in my head. Fifteen weeks was when? September sometime.
Fuck.
I jerked like I’d been slapped, and in a way, I guess I had. My breathing became more labored, and I couldn’t stop myself from dropping Hannah’s hand. Fifteen weeks. September. That meant…
This was Justin’s baby. Not mine.
i had no idea how I got home, but there, I was walking through my front door. I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t feel. I was just numb.
Like the douche that I obviously was, I walked out on Hannah right there at the hospital.
I didn’t know what exactly came over me. Well, yeah, I did. I just found out my girlfriend was pregnant by another guy. Granted, she hadn’t cheated. It was from when she dated him before, but still. I couldn’t get past the fact that the baby I’d been so anxious to see, the baby I thought belonged to me, the one I’d been talking to every single night since we found out wasn’t mine.
I didn’t think I could cope.
How could Hannah not know? How in the world could she have gotten this wrong? I had no right to be blaming her. I truly didn’t believe she lied to me, but, damn, I felt like she should have known. She should have known so she could warn me.
There were signs I’d apparently overlooked like the fact that her belly was bigger than we’d expected. She’d chocked it up to being bloated and everything I’d read online backed that up. Nope. Not bloat. The baby was older than expected.
Fuck. How in the hell did this happen? Just this morning, things were fine. We were fine. We’d been excited about this appointment, and now, look where we were.
How could Hannah not have known?
I paced my kitchen, stomped around was more like it, and some of my humanity seemed to be returning because I suddenly felt guilty about walking out on Hannah. But not guilty enough to go back. Not yet.
Ripped (Divided, #2) Page 20
