How well she knew that, Josselyn thought ruefully. Drew was still wanting to hide from her and from life.
“Are you interested?”
It took Josselyn a moment to realize where Caroline’s question was headed. “You mean in Brendan Tanner?”
Caroline nodded.
“Not at all. He’s good-looking. At least, what I’ve seen of him from my kitchen window. But he’s not my type.”
Caroline grinned as she scooped up the last bite of pie. “That’s right. I’m forgetting you like your men in a lab coat.”
Josselyn’s short laugh held little mirth. “Drew is the only doctor I’ve ever dated.”
And if she had anything to say about it, he was definitely going to be the last.
* * *
The next morning, while he waited on Dillon to get ready for school, Drew went through the motions of having toast and coffee in the kitchen. But for all he knew Claire might have served him cardboard spread with jam and he wouldn’t have known the difference.
“Drew, I’m sorry, but you’ve really got to do something about that frown on your face. You’re going to have a permanent crease in the middle of your forehead.”
He glanced over at Claire, who was standing at the counter doing something to a raw chicken. Why she needed to start cooking dinner this early in the morning he didn’t know. But then, Drew had to admit he didn’t know much about anything anymore. Especially where Josselyn was concerned.
To think that he’d hurt her, that he was still hurting her by staying away, was literally killing him. She deserved so much better than what he could give her.
“It’s a concentration line,” Drew told his cousin. “All doctors have them.”
“You mean all the good ones?” Claire tossed the question over her shoulder.
Drew stared moodily into his coffee cup. “Don’t put me in that category, Claire. I manage to take care of my patients, but I should do better.”
“If you did any better, you’d be dead from exhaustion.” She walked over to him. “Okay, maybe you should fess up and tell me what’s wrong. You haven’t been acting yourself lately. Everyone has noticed it. Especially Dillon. He’s been staying here in the kitchen just to avoid you, I think. Did something bad happen at work, or is this about Josselyn?”
“I don’t want to talk about Josselyn,” he said bluntly. “She’s out of the picture.”
Rather than looking surprised, Claire grimaced with disgust. “So you’re copping out on the best thing that could have happened to you. I should’ve known. Guess she was making you too happy. And you can’t stand that, can you?”
Claire turned back to the chicken on the counter. Drew stared at her in stunned disbelief. It wasn’t like his cousin to be so harsh. She was usually the first one to offer him compassion and understanding.
“What’s the matter with you?” he asked sharply. “Is it a crime not to smile and laugh all the time?”
“Oh please, Drew. Don’t make me start. My patience is too thin for your nonsense. I had hope for you. But it’s gone. Totally gone.”
Nonsense? She wanted to call his problem nonsense? He’d been through pure hell. He was still going through it.
At that moment, Melba entered the room and made a beeline for the gas range. “What’s gone?” the older woman asked.
“Nothing,” Claire quickly told her. “I was only saying our good weather will soon be gone.”
Spotting Drew at the table, Melba paused to cast him a puzzled glance. “What are you doing here?”
To hell with this, Drew thought crossly. “I live here, Grandma. Surely you haven’t forgotten that.”
Angered by his tart retort, Melba marched over to the table and leveled a glare at him. “I might be getting older, but I’m not that forgetful, smarty britches. I’m talking about here at this moment. I saw Dillon earlier, leaving the house through the front entrance.”
“Leaving the house? Why?”
“He said he was going to wait outside on the porch for you. That was fifteen or twenty minutes ago.”
“Damn!”
Drew anxiously jumped to his feet and started out of the room, only to have Melba calling after him.
“What’s wrong? Where are you going?”
“To take care of my son. That’s where!”
Drew practically ran to the front of the building and jerked open the door to the main entrance. But a quick glance outside told him Dillon was nowhere to be seen.
Fearful that his son might’ve wandered off down the street on his own, Drew turned and took the stairs up two at a time. Once he reached the connecting rooms they called home, Drew yelled out, “Dillon! Are you in here?”
He hurried through the bedrooms and found no sign of the boy. It wasn’t until he returned to the sitting room that he spotted a piece of paper on an end table next to the couch.
Recognizing Dillon’s large print, he snatched up the small square and read: Dear Dad, I’m sorry I’ve made you sad. I think it would be a lot better for you if I went back to Thunder Canyon and stayed with Grandma and Grandpa Jerry. They like me to be on the ranch. And then you and Josselyn could be happy.
Oh God, what had he done, Drew asked himself. He’d not only ruined everything with Josselyn, he’d also driven his son away.
Tossing down the note, he snatched his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed Josselyn’s number.
Chapter Thirteen
She answered on the second ring and the sound of her sweet voice was like church bells on a cold, clear morning. It touched his heart in a way that very nearly brought tears to his eyes.
“Josselyn, I’m sorry to bother you like this, but I’m worried about Dillon. Have you seen him this morning?”
There was a long pause and then she said, “No. His class doesn’t come to the library until the midmorning break.”
“Oh. I thought he might have gone on to school without me—to see you before classes started.”
“Drew, is something wrong with Dillon?”
Drew felt totally sick inside. Sick and guilty. And very much a huge, oblivious fool. “I hope there’s nothing wrong. Could you do me a favor?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Could you check and see if Dillon is at school? You see, he took off from the boardinghouse without telling me. I’m afraid he’s run away!”
“Oh, Drew, no!” she exclaimed, then added in a rush, “I’ll go to his room right now to see if he’s there. Just give me a minute or two and I’ll call you back.”
“Thank you, Josselyn. I’m grateful for your help.”
“Sure.”
Drew hung up the phone and after grabbing his keys and Dillon’s note, hurried out the back entrance of the boardinghouse to his car. With any luck he might spot Dillon walking along the route they normally took to school.
If something happened to Dillon he’d never forgive himself. The child was everything to him. Everything!
Josselyn is everything to you, too. But you’ve ignored her. The same way you’ve been ignoring Dillon. You don’t deserve either one of them, Drew. You don’t deserve to be a father or husband. The only thing you’re good at is feeling sorry for yourself.
The incriminating voice was still droning in his head as he gunned the car out of the parking lot and onto the street. But the dire thoughts were quickly interrupted by the ring of the cell phone he’d tossed onto the passenger seat.
Seeing the caller was Josselyn, he snatched up the phone and punched the accept button as fast as he could, while trying to keep a wave of panic from washing over him.
“Drew, good news,” she quickly informed him. “Dillon is in his class safe and sound.”
Weak with relief, he sent up a silent prayer of thanks.
“Thank God. He—uh—he doesn’t know you w
ere checking on him, does he?”
“No. I went into the room on the pretense that I needed to talk with the teacher.”
“Thank you, Josselyn. I am very grateful and relieved.”
“You’re welcome, Drew. I’m happy I could help.” A stretch of awkward silence followed and then she asked, “Uh—is there anything else you need?”
You. I need you, Josselyn. So very much.
The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he held them back. The phone wasn’t how he wanted to say all the things he needed to say to her. No. That was going to be done in person. If she still cared enough to give him that chance.
“No. I—uh—have to hang up now. There’s something I have to do. Goodbye, Josselyn.”
He hung up before she could question him, then, patting his shirt pocket to make sure he still had Dillon’s note, he hurried on to the school.
* * *
Josselyn stared at the book-order sheet on her desk, but none of the titles or story summaries were making sense.
What was she going to say to Dillon when he came into the library this morning? Should she ask him about leaving the boardinghouse without his father’s permission? Should she scold him for walking to school alone?
No. She wasn’t his mother. That was Drew’s job. But the thought of him running away and putting himself in danger filled Josselyn with so much fear it was all she could do to keep her hands from shaking.
What had happened between yesterday and this morning? she wondered. Had Drew said something to the boy? Something that had caused the little guy so much pain that running away was the only way he could think to deal with it? Something like how Josselyn was never going to be his mother and he needed to forget the idea completely?
The pain in her chest was so great it caused tears to blur her eyes. Fearful that some of her coworkers might walk in and catch her crying, she grabbed a tissue from a box on the corner of her desk.
She was dabbing at the moisture when the sound of the library door swinging open caused her head to swing around and then her mouth to fall open.
Drew!
Feeling sure she was in some sort of trance, Josselyn slowly rose and walked toward him.
He met her in the middle of the room and all she could seem to do was stare at the endearing features of his face.
“What are you doing here?” she finally asked.
A wry slant to his lips, he said, “That’s the second time I’ve been asked that this morning.”
“What does that mean?”
“That I’m a hard guy to figure, I suppose.”
He took a step closer and Josselyn realized her heart was pumping at the pace of a jackhammer. And every rapid beat was begging her to throw herself into his arms and hang on for dear life.
“That you are, Drew.”
“I’m sure you’re wondering how I managed to get past security.”
“The question has crossed my mind.” That question plus about a hundred more, she thought.
“I stopped by the office and thankfully the superintendent knows me. She gave me the permission to come back here to the library to see you.” He reached inside his brown leather jacket and pulled out a piece of lined paper. “Read this.”
Josselyn hastily read the words Dillon had carefully printed, and each one stabbed her in the middle of the chest.
“Oh, Drew. What was he thinking? Why?” She lifted her gaze back to his face. “Did you say something to him about me?”
His expression rueful, he shook his head. “I haven’t said much to him at all. Not since I left your cabin Friday night.”
“Oh. Well, I think you should know that he believes we had a big row. He’s very upset about it.”
His brows arched. “He told you that?”
“More or less,” she said. “Why haven’t you said something to him? He deserves to know that I’m no longer going to be in his life that way. That I’ll only see him here at school.”
The arch in his brows grew even higher. “That’s how you want it to be?”
“That’s how you want it.” The tone of her voice was brittle, but she couldn’t help it. He’d put her through the wringer and she wasn’t going to let him off the hook easily.
“No. You’re wrong, Josselyn. I want you in my life and in Dillon’s life. I need you. He needs you.”
His hands closed over her shoulders and Josselyn stumbled toward him. “What are you trying to say?”
“That I’ve been the biggest kind of fool. And it wasn’t until I found Dillon’s note that I truly recognized what was really important to me. It’s not my work or my past life with Evelyn. All that matters is my love for you, Josselyn. And being the kind of father Dillon deserves.”
Her head swung back and forth in disbelief. “Why couldn’t you have told me this at the cabin? Do you have any idea what these past few days without you have been like?”
Remorse filled his brown eyes. “That night—I couldn’t tell you anything. I was so shaken by what I’d dreamed—”
“That’s just it, Drew,” she interrupted. “It was only a dream. Not something to run from. Or to make you run from me.”
Anguish twisted his features. “You don’t understand, Josselyn. I was dreaming about Evelyn’s accident. I was on foot, running down the street, trying to reach the crushed car and thinking I could save the driver. When I finally reached it, I realized Evelyn was inside. Then the EMT pulled her free of the wreckage and it wasn’t Evelyn. It was you! The accident had taken you from me.”
Her groan was full of anguish. “Oh Lord, Drew. If only you’d told me.”
He sighed with regret. “Once I felt your hand on my shoulder I realized I’d been having a nightmare. I was so relieved that the horrible images hadn’t been real. But then when I looked at you all the fear came rushing back.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand, Drew. Once you recognized it was all a dream, you should have been comforted.”
“Yes, I should have. Instead, I felt the exact opposite. True, it was a dream. But all of a sudden I was struck by the fact that an accident really could happen to you. Just as it did Evelyn. And I knew I couldn’t bear that, Josselyn. Not a second time. Not with you. I love you too much.”
She stared at him in awe as disbelief and joy battled inside of her. “Love me? But—”
He urged her closer and the cold pain around Josselyn’s heart began to melt as she watched his lips curve into a tender smile.
“After the way I’ve treated you that’s probably hard for you to believe.”
“Try impossible.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “Oh, Josselyn, when I found Dillon’s note, it was like somebody had given me a dose of smelling salts. All of a sudden I was wide-awake and it was pretty damned clear I was behaving like my seven-year-old son—running away. These past couple of days—no, make that weeks—I’ve been running scared, knowing I was falling in love with you. For so long my heart was closed. I wanted to protect it by never letting it feel again. But it’s open now, sweetheart. Wide-open. And I’m asking you to step inside, to see for yourself how very much I love you.”
Her heart wanted to make an ecstatic leap over the moon, but the lingering doubts in her mind held it back. “Drew, there’s always the chance of accidents and illness. Are you going to start worrying again and—”
The shake of his head interrupted her argument. “Accidents and illness are a part of life. I know that. And I’d have to be inhuman not to worry about you and Dillon. But I’ve come to realize that I have to believe and trust, and accept all the happiness you’ll bring me—for as long as that might be.”
Tears of pure joy spilled onto her cheeks. “I love you, Drew.”
Smiling, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed away the moisture beneath her eyes. “Then you forgive me?”
With a sigh of pure contentment, he lowered his lips to hers and Josselyn wondered how a kiss could taste like rainbows and sunshine, full of promises and sealed with trust. But it did. Oh, yes, it did.
They were still locked in the gentle embrace when the bell rang and a group of giggling children rushed into the library and gathered around them.
“See!” A beaming Dillon exclaimed to his friends, “None of you would believe me, but I was right! I told you Miss Weaver loved my dad. And he loves her!”
Oliver and Owen looked at each other in comical disbelief, while Rory giggled and clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Wow, Dillon! Your dad is kissing Miss Weaver like a real prince kisses a princess!” Rory gushed, then sidled closer to Dillon. “When are you going to kiss me like that?”
A look of sheer horror came over Dillon’s face before he turned and raced away from Rory and the troop of laughing kids.
“He’s running now,” Drew said with a chuckle, his arms still firmly planted around Josselyn. “But in a few years he’ll be running right back to her. Like his dad has run back to the woman he loves. Will you marry me, Josselyn? Will you be Dillon’s mother and give him brothers and sisters? And make our life complete?”
“Yes. Yes. And yes!”
“Did you hear that, children?” Drew’s brown eyes twinkled with merriment as he looked at the ogling group of kids. “Miss Weaver has agreed to marry me. Dillon is going to get the mother he wants.”
Standing in front of a shelf of fishing books, Dillon heard his father’s announcement and grinned with happy satisfaction.
* * * * *
Look for the next installment of the new
Mills & Boon continuity
Montana Mavericks: The Lonelyhearts Ranch
Former soldier Brendan Tanner is looking for a place he can call home. When he finds himself in the arms of rancher Fiona O’Reilly, could Rust Creek Falls turn out to be that perfect place?
Don’t miss
Unmasking the Maverick
by Teresa Southwick
On sale October 2018, wherever Mills & Boon books
The Little Maverick Matchmaker Page 18
