“Bax, you look like shit,” Arthur says when I walk into the care home lounge the next afternoon.
“Thanks, old man. You’re not looking too chipper yourself.” It’s a joke, and he knows it. He recovered incredibly well from his stroke, but because of some weakness on his left side, he decided to move himself into a home where he would have the support he needed as he got older. It was a sensible thing to do, even if I do hate visiting him in what I always saw as a place people go to die.
“Seriously, Jayden. What’s happened?” His use of my full name tells me he’s serious. I must really look like shit.
“The girl with the sketchpad?” he asks when I finish telling him what’s been going on. “She was so sweet.”
“I thought we were getting our second chance,” I admit.
“You are. Women can be fragile beings, Jayden,” he says with a wink. Arthur may never have married but that doesn’t mean he didn’t spend all his adult years trying to find the right woman. “Just give her the time she needs. She’ll come back to you.”
“And what if she doesn’t?”
“Have faith. Here, help me with this crossword,” he says, changing the subject, and I couldn’t be more grateful. His advice sticks with me though. Will it all be okay in the end?
* * *
Every day, I get a message from her, and every day, I don’t respond. I don’t want her texts. I want her. It’s been over a month since I left her house that day. She promised me she would come for me. Well, where the fuck is she?
I know I could go to her, but the stubborn fucker inside is stopping me. I need her to be here because she wants to be, not because I dragged her. It’s killing me that I know both her and my son are so close yet so far away.
I told myself after seeing Arthur that I would give it until Christmas, but if she hasn’t made up her mind then, I’m leaving. I’ve just started rebuilding my life. I opened myself up to her again and showed her who I am now. No one, other than the doctors and nurses who treated me, knows what effect that day had on my body, but I showed her. I trusted her with the ugliness I was left with, and she ran.
I shut everything down after getting back to the UK. It was easier to deal with it all if I couldn’t feel. Then she walked back into my life and I opened the door I’d bolted all my feelings up behind. I don’t want to sit around here waiting for her to possibly give us another chance. Life’s too short for that shit. I know that all too well.
“You’re gonna fucking leave? Fuck that shit, bro. I only just got you back,” Dean says when I tell him my plans to fuck off.
“Why not? I’ve already been through hell. There’s no point sitting here waiting for the inevitable.” I know I sound dramatic, but I can’t help it.
“I wouldn’t know. You haven’t fucking told me what you’ve been through,” he snaps.
“Jay, you can’t just leave,” Frankie says in a slightly softer tone. You’ll have her back in no time. She’s just got shit going on. Denny’s been ill—”
“Denny’s ill? What’s wrong with him?” I ask in a panic.
“Don’t get your knickers in a twist. He’s just had a cold.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. How can you go from not having any clue someone exists to being totally in love and overprotective in seconds?
“He’s okay, though?”
“Yes. He just had a bad cough. But Erin was already having issues with the shop’s books after her accountant upped and left. She’s just had a lot going on. Plus Christmas, you know?”
I get what she’s saying, but I can’t help feeling like she’s just putting everything off.
“How about we go away for Christmas?” Dean asks, shocking the fuck out of me.
“What?”
“Me and you. Let’s fuck off somewhere.”
“Me and you?” I repeat.
“Yes. Me,” he says pointing at himself before turning his finger on me, “and you. Somewhere hot, with loads of pussy.”
I just about manage to contain a laugh at the look Frankie pins Dean with after that comment.
“Charming,” she mutters, screwing up her nose.
They’re just friends, apparently. I’m not entirely sure how much benefiting is going on, but I’m fairly sure it’s quite a bit if the way Dean looks at her is anything to go by. He’d never admit to it, but she has him exactly where she wants him. The only problem is they’re both so adamant they’re only friends that neither of them can see it. Fucking idiots, the pair of them.
“Why not?” Dean asks, looking back over at me. “It’s not like either of us have any family here to worry about.” Once again, Frankie gives Dean a look. She looks like someone just stole her puppy at the thought of him going away for Christmas.
“If you want to organise something, go right ahead,” I say, knowing the idea of Dean making plans is laughable.
“Ibiza, Majorca…Shagaluf!” he says with a salacious smile that earns a slap to the shoulder.
I get talked at for over an hour about how I shouldn’t leave, but neither of them can come up with any real reason for me to stay. Frankie telling me over and over again that Erin will turn up soon gets a little tiresome.
* * *
I had a text from Dean last night saying he’d booked a last minute surprise trip and to be packed and ready by nine in the morning.
I wasn’t convinced by this idea when he mentioned it, but now I’m really regretting it. I’ll be the first to admit that my suggestion of leaving was ridiculous. It sounded so good in my head, driving off into the distance with two fingers held up to the world. But in reality, the only place I want to be is here, even if it means I’m still waiting for Erin.
Having no idea what I should pack means I end up with almost everything I own—which isn’t a lot—in my duffle bag. I’m just zipping it up when the song on the radio catches my attention. I’ve no idea why; it’s always on in this place as background noise, but the lyrics filter through to me. The words take me right back to the beginning. To that first moment I saw Erin across the club dancing with her friends. I run through our time together, our first night in that shitty hotel where I thought she was going to run at any moment. She definitely didn’t come across like a girl who disappears off with a guy she’d only just met, so I didn’t for one second believe she’d follow through with it. But she did, and we had the most amazing two weeks together.
Everything seemed to happen so fast. One minute, I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, and the next, I’d fallen in love with her.
I remember the exact moment I realised it was love. It’s probably not a story I’ll ever repeat to anyone but her, but it was the night we went dancing. The whole experience had driven me crazy, and I was dying to get my hands on her again. The little bits of contact she’d allowed me up until that point were nowhere near enough. Seeing her face as she came on my fingers in the Lake District was a great memory but I needed it again.
Allowing her out of my sight and into her room that night was painful. I tried to do the right thing. I stripped out of my clothes and got into bed like I should. But my entire body was aching for her, and getting myself off only got me so far.
My frustration got too much after a couple of hours, so I snuck out of my room and into hers. I wanted to chastise her for not locking the door but I could only be so angry when it allowed the entry I needed.
I could hardly see her sleeping under the covers but the second I leant over her, I knew she was aware of me.
Her taste was addictive. I could have spent all night making her writhe and moan, but the second I felt her coming on my tongue was the same moment reality hit me.
I’d fallen in love with her.
I panicked. I’d promised her a two week thing, and there I was head over heels for her.
I left her room as fast as I entered, pulled my clothes on, and got in my car. I had no clue what I was doing or where I was going. All I knew was that I had to get my head together.
Un
fortunately, that wasn’t a possibility. Erin Roberts was officially under my skin and in my heart. It’s been that way ever since. I was able to somewhat put it to the back of my mind, but the second I saw her again, the feelings came back even stronger.
She was made for me, and me alone. She just needs to hurry the fuck up and realise it.
“That was Niall Horan with ‘Too Much To Ask’,” the DJ says as the song comes to an end.
Seconds later, I hear the beep of a horn as Dean announces his arrival. I turn the radio off and lock up my makeshift home. I always intended for this place to be a temporary thing, but everything with Erin and Denny kind of distracted me.
Grabbing my bag, I flick all the lights off behind me and pull my keys from my pocket, ready to lock the place up for Christmas. At the last minute I turn back to my bedroom and grab Erin’s ring from beside my bed. It’s the only piece of her I have, and I want it close.
I let out a breath before pulling the door open. I don’t want Dean to see I’m anything but excited about this, so I tell my face to look happy and wrap my hand around the handle.
When I look up, I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I feel my mouth drop open and my hands come up to rub at my eyes. I know I haven’t been sleeping and consuming way too much whiskey, but this can’t really be happening.
Dragging my eyes away from the scene in front of me, I look around for who I was expecting to see, but Dean isn’t here.
Instead, parked out the front of the garage is a car I never thought I’d see again, with the two most important people in my world leant against it.
“Fuck,” I mutter as my hand comes back up to my face, and I stare at them like they’re not real.
“Surprise,” Erin says sheepishly.
It’s only then I notice how unsure of herself she looks, just like that night in the club; totally out of her comfort zone.
“You could say that,” I say, but it comes out so quietly I’m not sure she hears me.
“We thought we could go on a Christmas road trip.”
“Is that right?” I ask, my brain starting to catch up with what’s happening in front of me.
“Yeah. She’s had a full service and ready to go on an adventure. What do you say?”
I look from Erin, to Denny, and then finally to Peggy. She looks as perfect as the day we left her in Cambridge.
“You kept her?”
“Of course. I couldn’t bear not to. She’s been in my garage under tarpaulin all this time.”
“What did Al—” I stop myself, not really wanting to say his name.
A cheeky smile appears on Erin’s face. “He thought she was my dad’s.”
“Well, okay then.”
“So is that a yes?”
“Of course it’s a fucking yes.”
“Daddy, bad word,” Denny chastises, and I can’t help but laugh.
I go to take a step towards them but Erin beats me to it and she launches herself at me. I hold her tightly as I shove my face in her neck and breathe her in. She smells exactly like I remember.
My desire gets too much after a few seconds and I pull back so I can find her lips. She’s just as desperate and we cling to each other as we both pour everything we have into that one kiss. We only break apart when Denny starts complaining how gross it is behind us.
Our lips part and we both laugh before looking back at our son, who looks like he could puke at any minute.
“Where are we going?” I ask when I’ve put Erin down and thrown my bag into the boot with theirs.
“Everywhere and nowhere,” she answers, and I feel the final piece of my life fall back into place.
The End
But wait…there’s more. No, I wasn’t expecting it either! If you want to experience Erin, Jay and Denny’s road trip to everywhere and nowhere, pre-order their epilogue now.
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Everywhere & Nowhere
(Never Forget Epilogue.)
The distance and time between us didn’t change anything.
I’ve always been his.
Now, we have what I always dreamed of.
A second chance.
We’re going back to where it all started.
Everywhere and nowhere.
Everywhere and Nowhere is the epilogue to Tracy Lorraine's steamy military duet, Never Forget.
Click here to preorder on Amazon
Acknowledgments
I have loved exploring the rest of Erin and Jay’s story, even if this was the hardest book I’ve had to write. I knew it was going to be painful but I didn’t appreciate how attached to these characters I was until I started tearing them apart. They were always going to get their happily ever after, I just had to get them there!
It seems I haven’t only become attached to Erin and Jay, though, because there appear to be more stories that need to be told from this little lot. So watch this space because there could be more at some point.
I need to say a HUGE thank you to Michelle, who travelled Erin and Jay’s journey word by word with me. I don’t think I would have got through the angst if it wasn’t for you!
As always, my beta readers, Deanna, Helen, Lindsay and Tracy. Thank you for loving my characters, crying, and threatening me at certain parts of this story.
Evelyn, once again, for editing and making my story sparkle, aka taking out all my extra words!
And always last but never least, my husband and daughter. Your support means everything to me, even if you think I’m totally crazy.
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Sneak Peek
Ruined Plans (Ruined #1) by Tracy Lorraine
Ruined Plans
Prologue
New Year’s Resolutions
1. Spend less time working
2. Visit Aunt Addy
3. Date nights
I pick up the piece of paper that flutters to the floor as I attempt to clear my desk for the night. Sitting back in my chair, I stare down at the words I wrote only a few weeks ago.
I glance at the time on my computer screen to see it’s almost 8pm on Valentine’s night, and here I am still in my office with mountains of work to do. I guess that explains how well number one on the list is going. Actually, it pretty much answers all three. I think in the last six weeks I’ve spent more time in the office than ever, so even thinking about planning a trip to see Aunt Addy hasn’t happened. And as for date nights, code for attempt to sort out my shitty marriage—I just didn’t want to write that down—that’s the reason I’m finishing up early for the night. My assistant poked her head in just under an hour ago to say she was leaving and I placed a takeaway order so I could surprise my husband and make some kind of effort. It is Valentine’s day, after all.
I go down to the ground floor of the office block we work in to collect my delivery before heading straight up to the top floor to my husband’s office.
We’re both lawyers for his family’s company. I’m pretty sure it should excite me; after all, it’s what I spent years studying for. Here I am, a high-flying lawyer for a renowned company in the middle of the city, married to the boss, living in a gorgeous penthouse apartment only five minutes from here.
I fucking hate it. All of it.
It hasn’t always been this way. At the beginning, I thought I was living the high life: hefty pay checks, designer clothes, meals at any swanky restaurant I wanted, and a husband every woman in the office wanted a piece of. That all soon wore thin once I was promoted—not because I married the boss though, I’d like to add. I started working longer hours and all the benefits I enjoyed before were pushed aside to spend more hours in the office. It’s pretty shit. Then Edward’s dad retired, leaving him in charge, and our marriage took even more of a backseat.
“Good evening, Addison.”
“Evening,” I say when I see Greg, one of the security guards in reception. “Shouldn’t Mr. Boss
Man be taking you out for some slap up meal?”
“You’d think, right?” I reply as I wave my takeaway bag at him.
“Enjoy,” he says with a wink as I head back towards the lift.
I sail straight to the top. The building must be practically empty seeing as it’s Valentine’s day so my journey isn’t interrupted by anyone wanting to join me.
There’s no one to be seen as I walk down the corridor past the giant offices. It looks like the rest of the management has some kind of work life balance.
The glass wall that allows everyone to see into Edward’s office has been darkened but I don’t think anything of it. I shove the handle down and fling the door wide open.
“Surprise,” I announce happily, but my mood changes when I see the reason for the blacked out windows.
My husband’s behind his desk like I expected, but rather than going through case notes he’s currently balls deep inside my PA, who’s bent over his desk.
He sees me, his eyes widen in shock, and he stops moving as he stares at me. It’s clear she has no idea I’ve just interrupted because, without opening her eyes, she moans, “Eddie, keep going…so close.”
Eddie? Who the fuck does she think she is? My husband hates the name Eddie.
I stand there staring at the scene in front of me for a few more seconds as something inside me explodes. I want to say it’s devastation, anger even, but I’m pretty sure it’s the tingling of freedom.
I drop the bag of takeout on the floor and, with one last look at my cheating prick of a husband, I make my way out of the Chapman-Webb offices with every intention to never walk through the front door again.
Never Forget Us: Never Forget #2 Page 12
