Taking out her cell phone, she made a call before she could even think through all that it would mean. A voice answered the call after just two rings.
“Lucas? I really need a friend right now.”
Burbank, California
“And now we have here with us the newest singing sensation capturing the hearts of music lovers all over the country, Natasha! Give her a warm welcome everybody!” said Ellen enthusiastically.
Natasha walked out onto the stage amidst thunderous applause. Her single “Fire Heart” had gone straight to the top of the billboard charts and had held that position for the past three weeks. Her second song ‘Jewels’ was also popular and was currently trending at number 8 on the charts. As she waved to the audience she felt a bittersweet mixture of happiness and hard-fought accomplishment. Being featured on this show was a major achievement especially for someone so new in the music industry. This was exposure and publicity that could launch her career to another dimension.
Despite knowing this, live TV was the last place Natasha wanted to be right now but she had to face the world with a smile on her face nonetheless. Outside she dressed the part and had been coached on how to be a star but inside she felt like a fraud. Although she finally had her ‘dream life’, it felt incomplete and she knew why. Taking several deep slow breaths Natasha tried to calm her nerves for the start of the interview and hoped her voice would sound clear and steady.
Chapter 13
Marcus knew that he should be writing feverishly to meet the deadline for the editorial team the next day. But that was futile when one spent the day checking the clock constantly, seeing every hour pass with dead slowness. Natasha’s interview on The Ellen Show was broadcasting that evening. The advertisements were on for a few days and he knew that he could not miss it. It would be the first time he’d seen her since the Georgia trip.
He was in much better spirits ever since meeting the DiMinoglio’s and since then they’d visited Sands and agreed to the change in purchase agreement. They were simply astounded by the beauty of the sunset there and the way the lighting cast a warm setting that perfect for lovers; a setting that he could not bear to be in anymore without Natasha. They were even romantics at heart and wanted him to have Lucinda’s even if it was just for the memories.
And memories it would probably be too! He was doing a poor job concentrating anyway, considering that his mind was stuck on the fact that there were divorce papers still sitting on the counter in the kitchen waiting for him to sign them. It had been almost a week since he’d received them and he refused to even touch them or read them again since that first night.
When Natasha had taken so long to send the papers he’d hoped that she was reconsidering her decision so he took the chance to send her the book and letter, but every day the presence of those papers meant that his worst fears were realized. She still wanted the divorce and true to her word Natasha wanted nothing from him. Any hope for Natasha wanting to try again was rapidly fading from his mind. She hadn’t even called and he was sure that she’d received his gift by now. His heart was telling him to give her a few more days before he signed the papers and made it official, even though the facts were the same as before.
Finally the show began and from the moment Natasha walked on to the set everything else in the room had faded to the back of Marcus’ consciousness.
“So Natasha you are taking the music industry by storm and you have some of the stars pretty worried that they are becoming has-been’s! Your fans know very little about who you really are, and about your private life. Where are you from?” Ellen asked.
“I am from the most beautiful island in the Caribbean, Derrien Island!” she replied with a smile. She told Ellen some more about her island home and about the culture there.
“That sounds beautiful; I am going to put it on my 2013 travel bucket list for sure. So, is there anyone special in your life right now?”asked Ellen unabashedly prying into Natasha’s private life.
Natasha blinked rapidly and laughed nervously realizing that the moment of relaxation was short-lived. She quickly composed herself as she tried to think of an answer to her very direct line of questioning.
“Wow, you sure do get to the point Ellen!” she replied stalling for time.
“Yeah, that’s me, going straight for the jugular. Besides I am sure that there are thousands of guys out there right now wondering if they have even a small chance of getting a date with you.”
Natasha laughed at her boldness and did not respond immediately.
“Hey audience!” said Ellen standing up and raising her arms and pumping up the vibe of the crowd while the DJ played a few lines from ‘Fire Heart’ her hit single.
“My heart is on fire, my heart is on fire for you...”
“Don’t you guys want to know?” asked Ellen to the audience as she danced across the stage.
The crowd responded with a resounding “Yes!” amid catcalls and exuberant whistles.
Natasha’s eyes fell to her hands folded on her lap before raising them once again to look at her adoring fans and responding to the question.
“Yes, there was someone I loved very much, but we aren’t together anymore!” she replied.
Marcus watched as she spoke while playing with the violet teardrop jewel that hung from her left ear. It had always been his secret way of knowing when Natasha was lying about something. When she stretched the truth a little or felt insecure she tended to play with her left ear. The last time he saw her do it they were in her apartment in Georgia while she was trying to convince him that she wanted to end their relationship for good.
“You do know that with this song “Fire Heart” that your fans see you as a passionate woman, a new sex symbol and a definite catch? Does this mean all the eligible bachelors out there should know that you are available?” asked Ellen in her usual jovial way.
Marcus held his breath half wanting to hear her answer and half wishing the TV would somehow implode on itself. Instead, he closed his eyes and waited for her response. He felt like a condemned man lying beneath the guillotine waiting for the final chop.
Natasha was to become a sex symbol for millions of men around the world? Couldn’t Lucas have helped to arrange a better branding for her? He knew how these contracts worked behind the scenes. Natasha would be Pacific Sun’s puppet and they would do all they could with her publicity and brand image for the impact that brought in the most money. He shook his head and groaned inwardly.
Natasha swallowed deeply at her discomfort with this question and steeled her expression so that she still appeared relaxed and playful. She chose to answer the first part of Ellen’s question in an attempt to avoid responding to the latter.
“Well Ellen you could say that I am a passionate woman. I am passionate about singing and I am passionate about love songs. I think that there is something so deeply elemental about feeling really free in how we express ourselves to that special someone and I am hoping that my music will not only be entertaining but will help other couples heal,” she replied diplomatically.
Undeterred by her answer Ellen continued to press with her pointed questions.
“Yes, I can really see that expression in your work, but what we all want to know is who inspires you to perform these songs with such sexy appeal.”
“I really don’t want to call his name on TV because although my life is really public right now, I want to respect his privacy,” replied Natasha silently praying that Ellen would get the hint.
“Ok ok. I won’t press you anymore to give up his name but know that your fans are curious and so am I. Now your first album is set for release in stores in about a month’s time and I have planned a special surprise for our audience,” said Ellen.
Oh boy, Ellen was legendary for her games and pranks and she figured that she would have to be a good sport long before this interview was over.
“Should I be worried?” Natasha asked with a nervous laugh.
“You tell me, we got a
sneak peak at your new video for “Fire Heart” and today we will be releasing it to our viewers as well and launching a snippet of the title track for your first album ‘Brave’! By the way that was one hot video!” Ellen exclaimed while leaning in toward her in a conspirational tone.
Natasha cringed inwardly as she remembered just how much she hated shooting that video. It wasn’t something she was proud of but as the label kept pointing out, they were into making money and nothing sold more than sex.
Marcus swore and punched the armrest on the chair before standing and pacing back and forth in front of the television.
Struggling now to maintain her diplomacy, Natasha plastered a smile on her face and covered her groan with a laugh.
“Wow, not even I have seen the final cut but I am sure that it is wonderful and I hope all my fans enjoy it, “
“I heard you even worked with the great Graham Chaucer, that is a feat not even realized by some of the stars that have been around much longer. How do you feel so far about how much you have accomplished?” asked Ellen.
“I know that I am pretty lucky to have had as much success as I’ve had so far. I am so grateful to so many people who have worked night and day to push this album through. Before I say anything else I want to thank Mr. Calderon and the team at Pacific Sun records, Mr. Chaucer, the many new friends I’ve made here who kept me encouraged. But, most of all I want to thank my good friend Lucas Johnson. I never would have been able to do any of this without his support,” she said finally all the while tugging on her earring.
At the mention of Lucas name, Marcus sensed the last bits of hope ebb slowly from his body. It should have been him supporting her through what was the biggest moment of her life but instead he was back on Derrien Island living alone in an empty house that felt more like a mausoleum now that Nat was no longer here. He never enjoyed the views or the fancy decor that he had once loved. This empty shell of a home mirrored the empty shell he felt he had become. Not even his job or his writing appealed that much to him anymore, it was as though Natasha was his muse and he never knew it or appreciated it until now that it was too late. It all seemed so unfair!
“Great, so tell us some more about your upcoming album launch! You must be very excited about it!”
“Well, as you know my first album is called “Brave” and I wrote the title track”, she continued, pausing as the audience cheered, clapped and whistled in support. “
“It’s all about having the courage to let go and just be who you are. My producer always tells me this, ‘that the future filled with success is not meant for the timid’ and he is always encouraging me to stretch and to go beyond my comfort zones. Sometimes it’s hard but I guess it goes with the territory,” said Natasha. Inwardly, it felt more like she was selling her soul, not stretching her talents.
The studio audience continued to cheer in excitement as Natasha breathed a sigh of relief that the attention was finally off of her extremely complicated, yet non-existent love life. She was lying again, but didn’t they tell her this life was about pretending and projecting an image? The thought of it made her feel sick to her stomach.
“Well audience, you heard it, you are in for a treat from the hottest rising star in the R&B world. Here is the title track from Natasha’s new album ‘Brave’ set for worldwide release in one month’s time, are you excited?” asked Ellen now standing and Natasha joined her as the first strains of the music filtered out from the speakers in the studio.
The song began as the sound of a full string orchestra began playing backed by an earthy sound of conga drums. The audience began to clap along and dance in their rows as the cameras panned the room. It was filled with joy and excitement!
Marcus watched the screen unblinkingly. Gone was the woman who used to live here with him on Derrien. Today she was a self-assured, radiant, talented, bold and extremely desirable as she swayed to the music and her long hair flowed around her shoulders shining and reflecting the stage lighting. Everything about her radiated life and energy.
Suddenly his phone rang breaking the hypnotic trance he had slipped into while watching his wife. He leaned forward absent-mindedly and picked up the phone that lay on the coffee table in front of him.
“Hello,” he drawled into the receiver as he sat once again.
“Hey Marcus, are you watching Natasha’s interview right now on channel 56?” asked Sheldon.
“Yeah I am!” came the flat response.
“What do you think about what she just said?”
“Like what, she said quite a lot on the show,” replied Marcus knowing exactly what Sheldon was implying but was unwilling to talk about it.
“Marcus I thought you would be feeling a bit more excited than this after what she said!” said Sheldon.
“Sheldon, I am not sure that we were watching the same interview but I am happy for her success, she looks great and this song is going to take her right to the top”, said Marcus dryly.
“Ok, yes the song is great and all but I am referring to the fact that she just she lied on national TV when she said things were over with the mystery man she loved and then later only referred to Lucas as her friend, M-a-r-c-u-s”, said Sheldon taking extra care to overstress the pronunciation of his name at the end.
“Sheldon, she said it was over and I have the divorce papers here sitting on my dining room table to prove it. So, I am sorry to bust your theory wide open once again. Natasha has moved on and I am not welcome in this new phase of her life,” came the morose reply.
“Oh, I actually forgot about that. Sorry bro,” said Sheldon, his voice losing much of the excitement it had before.
“Not more sorry than me, not more than me!” replied Marcus. You know what, I don’t think I will contest the divorce. She has not asked for anything although I wished she would. It would at least give me an excuse to talk to her. But that is impossible now I’m sure with her hectic schedule and all. She has made a clean break to live on her own terms,” said Marcus.
“Man, I cannot imagine what you must be going through right now but if you want to go and knock off some steam down at the beach, give me a call, okay?” asked Sheldon with concern.
“Thanks but no thanks, the last thing that I want to do now is play volleyball,” replied Marcus.
“Look Marcus, I can’t tell you how to live your life but ever since we got back from Georgia you have been either like a zombie or pushing yourself over the top. I know you are upset about your marriage but don’t push away all of your friends too!” cautioned Sheldon.
Marcus unable to listen anymore to people concerned about him leapt to his feet in frustration and began to pace the floor in front of the TV once more.
“What does everyone expect from me? If it is not you telling me I have a chance where none exists, its Lucinda and now lately even the DiMinoglio’s have been bothering me too,” said Marcus in an irritated tone.
Sheldon could hear that Marcus was nearing a breaking point decided to back off realizing that his friend needed his support more and his advice less at this point.
“Okay Marcus, look we all just want you to find some peace and see our old friend again, that’s all. I know this is a really rough time for you,”
“Sheldon, I think that old friend is gone, because he was the one couldn’t save his marriage. I don’t want to see him ever again, and if I do it won’t be soon enough. I am just going to let Natasha have what she wants, I’m tired waiting and hoping that something will change.”
Sheldon could hear the resolve in his friend’s voice and knew that he had made up his mind. Frankly, it was just like him to try to shoulder all the blame and Sheldon wished he could help Marcus see that any breakdown in a relationship always involves two people, not one and Natasha was the one dealing the blows.
“I think it is time I just got out of her way. Sometimes the best gift you can give someone is space.” he continued.
“Look Marcus, I am going now, I will check up on you later,” said S
heldon not knowing what else to say at that moment.
“Yeah, later bro.”
As Marcus’ attention refocused on the scene in front of him, he saw a flash on Natasha’s left hand that he did not see before then. As he leaned forward to focus on the screen he saw that Natasha was still wearing her wedding band. Surprise and a sense of hope filled Marcus as he wondered if Sheldon was right about what he thought Natasha said. Questions filled his mind as he wondered why a woman who was asking for a divorce was wearing her wedding rings in plain sight on national television. Her publicity team would have a fit if they noticed that, he was sure. Many people wore rings on any finger they chose and perhaps viewers would not think anything of it but to him it meant everything.
The significance of this left Marcus feeling extremely confused as he watched Natasha walk back from the performance area to the sitting area. When she sat, she began to unconsciously twist the rings on her finger while her expression grew wistful, and she looked down at them for a few seconds before smiling again and receiving the adulation of the studio audience.
“Natasha, why are you still wearing your rings?” Marcus asked speaking to her image on the television screen.
At that moment he looked down at his own hand and saw that not even he had even considered taking off his wedding band either. Looking at his band and replaying what he saw Natasha do, Marcus wondered if what Sheldon implied could be true. Did she still love him and was there some tiny chance that he could prove to her that his attitude to her having an international career had changed completely?
The sound of applause jerked Marcus out of his thoughts as the screen moved on to advertisements signalling the end of the interview. Marcus switched off the television with the remote and walked over to stand near the bank of windows overlooking the countryside below. The sun was now setting and a warm golden glow was now cast over everything in the room.
Forgotten Love (Derrien Island Trilogy) Page 15
