by Beth Martin
If you had been paying closer attention to me, this wouldn’t have happened.
I tried to scream, but my throat wouldn’t cooperate. My eyes filled with a blinding light which didn’t go away even after I closed them. So this was how I’d die, sinking into another episode.
You’ll live. But take this as warning. You need to stop ignoring me.
“Okay, seriously. How much time do you spend in here?” Yet again, the pale woman interrupted me while I was studying in the library. Today she had her white hair up in a ponytail, a style which showed off her angular face.
I shut down my pad and looked at her. “Why do you care?”
“It’s out of the ordinary. Anything abnormal piques my interest.”
“I’m not abnormal,” I muttered as I put my pad in my bag.
“Perhaps. I don’t know you well enough to make that judgment.”
I slung on my backpack and turned away from her while rolling my eyes.
“Where are you from?” she asked.
“Nowhere. Everywhere. Why do you care?”
“I’m just trying to make conversation. I don’t really have anyone to talk to. You’re the first person at this academy to even acknowledge me.”
I let out a dry laugh. “Seriously? Pretty girls like you always have tons of friends.”
“I am serious. I would never lie. Also, you didn’t answer my question. Where are you from?”
I walked toward the exit of the library, and she eagerly walked next to me, waiting for my answer. I sighed and told her, “I grew up on Spaceship Titanium. My dad is the pilot. I was actually born when Titanium was in transit from Sol to Sirius. My mom used to say that she was in labor for three years before she had me.”
She perked up and grabbed my arm. “You’ve been to Sol? What’s it like?”
“My parents were there. I’ve never been.”
I opened the door to the library and held it open for her. She exited, then paused and turned back to look at me. “I’ve been on Trappist for as long as I can remember. I’ve always dreamed of what it’d be like to leave. I want to explore the universe.”
As we walked from the paved steps in front of the library to the sandy black soil which covered this planet, I thought about how boring it must be to stay in one place. Theta was a desolate planet with no vegetation or animals. The sky was red and only got darker red at nightfall. Other planets had skies which transitioned through the entire spectrum of colors at dusk. The stars, which could only have been seen on a really clear day, looked pink through Theta’s dusty atmosphere.
I was on autopilot, walking directly back to my dorm building. I had no idea where she was going.
I had been lost in my thoughts for a while when she finally broke the silence. “All that time you spend in the library, have you ever looked up more about Trappist?”
“Sure. It was first settled about two hundred years ago…” I knew the exact year it was settled, the names of the planets, and the order they were inhabited. I knew the system capitol was located on the planet Kappa, and Beta was covered in water. I knew that Chi was the only planet in the system that didn’t have people living there because it was too cold.
“You don’t know nearly as much as you think you do.” Before I could ask her what she meant, she turned and dashed into one of the women’s dorms.
I doubted there was anything interesting to learn about the Trappist planetary system, but I would humor her. Whoever she was. I had once again forgotten to ask for her name.
•••
I had made it through my first quarter at Theta. I looked up my scores on my pad—top performance in every area. I was especially proud of my grade in Intro to Navigation. Over the past hundred days I had also done so much independent study that I planned on taking the prelim exams to test out of the next few courses. If I could be the best student who came through Theta Academy, I would be on track to becoming a warp spaceship pilot just like my father.
I left my dorm early in the morning and took the sandy path to the engineering building. The sky was a dark blood red in the low light. I’d been on Theta for a few months now and still hadn’t gotten used to the color of the sky. The planet would make a good setting for a horror movie.
Most of the other students were on Kappa, the closest planet to Theta, for the break between quarters. The way my classmates described Kappa made it sound like an idyllic place. Maybe next break, if I didn’t have anything else going on, I could head there with a few of my new friends.
There was a sign just inside the entrance of the engineering building stating that the prelim exams were being held down the hall to the left. I walked down the quiet hall past darkened classrooms. Only one door was open, and I went in.
A few of the desks were already occupied. The only student in the room that I recognized was the pale woman. She sat near the door and turned to glance at me as I walked in. She looked back at her own desk, tapping her fingers impatiently.
“I think we’ve got everyone now,” Dr. Pierce said as I took a seat near the one person I knew. “Let’s begin, shall we?” I looked at my watch. Even arriving ten minutes early, I had been the last one here. How early had the others shown up?
Dr. Pierce passed out exam pads with their corresponding glasses. “Let me go over the guidelines before you all get started. You’re each allowed to take as many exams as you would like, but the testing period will be for only four hours, so use your time wisely. You may work on the exams in whichever order you choose. Only the ones that you submit will be graded. For example, if you finish three exams but don’t submit any of them before the four hours are up, you won’t get credit for any of them. I’ll have the time left displayed on the front board.” A glowing 4:00:00 appeared on the front wall. “That’s all. You may begin.”
The number on the wall started counting down. I put on my glasses and started up my exam pad. The special glasses enabled me to see the holograms projected from my pad. As I quickly glanced around the room, everyone else’s pads appeared dark to me.
I started with navigation since I knew it the best and could finish those tests quickly. I planned on taking the exams for NAV102, along with NAV210 and NAV211. The first displayed in front of me, showing a map of the inhabited universe. Question one asked me to find Kapteyn’s Star. I smiled. This was going to be easy.
“Psst!”
I turned to find the source of the whisper. The pale woman was looking at me, her white hair tumbling down in large curls which hid her pad.
I shook my head. These exams were too important to get distracted, but she persisted. “Psst! Hey. I’m talking to you.”
I shushed her and tried to focus on my pad. I wouldn’t let her distract me again.
“Come on, I need some help. Please?”
“Stop talking to me,” I hissed between my teeth.
She responded at a louder whisper, “Dr. Pierce is mostly deaf. He can’t hear us.” I glanced at the professor lounging in a chair behind the lectern. Instead of the normal green glow coming from his ear, it shone red. He must have turned his hearing assistive device off. “I can’t read my exam.”
I looked back at her. “You need to put the glasses on.” How had she made it through an entire term without learning how to take an exam?
“I dropped them.”
“Then look for them.” Turning back to my pad, I tried to concentrate on the next question: something about Wolf 1061. I moved my hand to pan through the map of the galaxy and tapped the correct star.
“Can I use yours?”
“No!” I said it too loudly, and Dr. Pierce turned his attention to me.
“Mr. Metcalf, there’s to be no talking during the exam. If I hear another word from you, you’ll have to leave and won’t get credit for any of your exams.”
I nodded sullenly to show I understood before trying to get back to the test. After breezing through the next few solar systems, I heard her whisper, “Psst,” again. This time, I didn’t ev
en look over, I just kept my eyes down. Question ten: In which galaxy is the settled universe?
“I need help,” she whimpered. I looked at her through the corner of my eye. “How many planets does Groombridge have?”
I sighed. “Which Groombridge, A or B?”
She looked down at her pad. She still wasn’t wearing her glasses. “I don’t know.”
I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t—but also shouldn’t—help her out. Looking back at my pad, I read the next question. “How many planets does Groombridge…” No way. I blinked my eyes to make sure I was seeing the question right. Was she somehow able to read my pad? I glanced back at her, and she was finally wearing her glasses and working on her test. With the flick of my hand, I was able to move the star map and see the rest of the question. A. Groombridge 34A had one planet, although it wasn’t habitable. I marked the correct answer and moved on.
Suddenly, she stood up and started talking at a normal speaking volume. “This is too easy. I can’t believe I didn’t get into Aldrin and had to go to this shit academy instead.” I gasped. Dr. Pierce didn’t even glance in our direction. “Forget this exam. I’m out of here. Come with me.”
I shook my head violently. There was no way I was going to leave with her. “Suit yourself.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and left the room, leaving the exam pad and glasses on her desk.
For a fleeting moment, I wanted to grab her glasses and see how far she’d even gotten on her exams. As I continued working, the thought kept breaching my mind and ruining my concentration. She had only stayed for the first fifteen minutes. There was no way she actually finished anything, right?
Finally, my curiosity won out. Dr. Pierce was still sitting back at the desk, but now he had a pad in front of him and was working on a word puzzle. I quickly grabbed the exam and glasses from her desk. After swapping glasses and powering up her pad, I was able to see her exam progress. Each one showed as 100% complete, but not submitted. Perhaps she just filled in gibberish. I opened one exam and flipped through her answers. It looked like she had gotten them all right. Then I checked a second exam, and a third one.
“What the…?”
“Mr. Metcalf.” Oh, shit. I had made too much noise. And now that I had another student’s pad and glasses on my desk, I could also expect to be expelled or at least put on probation. Shit, shit, shit. “Please stand up and leave the exam room.”
I looked down at the desk. Could I somehow move the other pad without Dr. Pierce knowing?
“Now,” he said, his voice sharp. I had no choice but to leave it. I scrambled out of my desk and walked out the room as quickly as I could.
It wasn’t until I reached the front door of the building that the full ramifications hit me. It wouldn’t be so bad to take the course for NAV102, but what about the other pad? I leaned against the wall and slid down until I was seated on the floor, then covered my face with my hands. “Fuck,” I yelled out, hearing my voice reverberate through the building. At least the five-light-year distance between me and my parents meant that my father wouldn’t find out.
•••
I told you you’d be fine.
My head was still foggy. I slowly opened my eyes, giving them a chance to adjust. How long had I been out this time? A few minutes? An hour?
I expected to find myself in the medical room, but instead I was still strapped into my seat on the bridge. The room was dark with only the slightest glow coming from the control panels and the stars visible through the window.
Where had that asteroid come from? If my medication hadn’t take away my ability to see holograms, I could have reviewed the asteroid trajectory on the panels. Instead, I had to be careful to stay a certain distance from them, or else I might inadvertently push a button or flip a switch. I remembered the control panels on the warp spaceship my dad had piloted, but had never actually seen the controls for Paradido. I imagined it had basic, rudimentary controls and gauges.
Extracting myself from the restraints, I got up from my seat. My vision swirled, and I had to take a moment to steady myself. After a few deep breaths, I felt better. I pushed against the floor of the bridge to propel myself up to the observation deck.
I examined the stars through the window. The view was the same from all the planets in Trappist. As you travel around the inhabited universe, the orientation of some of the stars changes, making the star-scape slightly different on each planetary system. But Orion looked the same from every inhabited planet. I traced his belt with my finger, wishing that I could once again travel through the stars.
Something is missing.
I examined the sky, trying to see if anything was out of place. Orion’s shoulders were both there, along with the bottom two stars.
Think about it.
I sighed. Critical thinking was no longer my strong suit: another side-effect of my meds. I listed off the names of the stars making the constellation at a whisper. They weren’t a hologram.
What should you be seeing?
What should I see out of a spaceship window mid-flight? Stars. Everything was how it was supposed to be. I rubbed my hands over my face. I shouldn’t entertain these thoughts. Maybe I had been out for longer than just an hour. I was hungry; I probably just needed to get something to eat.
The sky achieved a dark oxblood shade by the time I got up from the steps of the engineering building. I hated the fact that one stupid mistake could change the course of my life forever. Even though I already knew most everything needed to graduate from any pilot academy, I would never get the actual degree. That one little acknowledgment—a single sheet of paper declaring that I had successfully completed school—was the only thing I needed to become a pilot. But if I got expelled from Theta, no other academy would have me. I’d just have to wait for the administration to make a decision.
I continued stewing while I walked back to my dorm. I kept my head down and my eyes on the black sand under my feet. This planet was the worst.
“You know, I’m thinking about dropping out of Theta and becoming a scientist instead.” I recognized her voice. The last thing I wanted to do right then was talk to her. Not that stewing was any better. “I’m probably not going to ever be a warp pilot, and there are plenty of science jobs around Trappist.”
I looked to my side where she had fallen in step next to me. She had changed out of her uniform and wore bulky, warm-looking clothes.
“Or I could be a resort manager at Beta. You should really check it out. Best planet in the system by far.”
“Sure.” I rubbed my hands over my head, mussing up my short hair.
“Okay, what’s the deal? You’re being particularly mopey.”
I took a deep breath before telling her what I had done after she left the exam room. “I’m going to get expelled for sure.”
She let out a short laugh. “You’re not getting expelled for that.”
“There’s a strict ‘no cheating’ policy. Several students have gotten expelled on their first offense, even for minor infractions.”
“You worry too much,” she said, flipping her hair from one shoulder to the other. “You won’t get expelled.”
“I wish I could be so confident. Actually, I would like to ask, why didn’t you submit any of the exams? From what I could tell, you already know everything from all the classes.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not set on being a pilot. I wanted to keep my options open. That, and I want to stay on Theta a while longer.”
“Why? This planet is horrible.”
“Because you’re here.” Before I could respond she turned and walked quickly to the women’s dormitories. Why would she want to stay here with me? She wasn’t even particularly nice to me, and I still didn’t know her name.
•••
Cory peered through my open cabin door. “You doing all right, buddy?”
I had been until he showed up. “I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
I closed my book and tu
cked it under my cot. “Would I have said it if it weren’t true?” I hated that James Cory, a man seven years younger than me (universal time), had a position of authority over me. I had been working on Paradido for so long I had seen most of the crew change over and over. When I first joined the crew, I was the youngest member. But ten years later, even the current pilot was younger than me.
Cory came into the room and sat on Adam’s cot. “People always say they’re fine, even if it’s not true.”
“Well it is. You can leave now.”
I retrieved my book and opened it again, but Cory didn’t get up. I tried to ignore him, but he just sat there, watching me.
“The episodes are becoming more frequent.”
They were. This was the first time I had suffered through two within a few days of each other. “No, I don’t think so.”
“They have, and you know it.”
I set my book down again and turned to Cory to listen. He wasn’t going to let this go. If I just let him believe that he was getting through to me, then he would leave me alone. Finally, I nodded in agreement.
“Ford is worried about you. We all are. That, and it’s a safety issue. You were flailing in your seat while we were navigating around the asteroid. If you hadn’t been restrained, you could have caused some major damage, especially if you had been close to the control panel.”
The whole crew knew that my favorite place on Paradido was the observation deck. I spent a lot of my free time there just watching the stars. That also meant that I spent a lot of time in close proximity to the control panel.
“I promise I won’t purposely or accidentally wreck the spaceship.”
“You need to see Dr. Whipple.”
I raised a brow. “I think that’s an overreaction.”
“It’s not. Commander Ford insists you go see him.”
“Fine, I’ll go. Later.”
Cory stood up. “I’m supposed to escort you directly to the medical room.”
