She told the tension in her body to relax. This man wasn’t going to hurt her. And she didn’t have to believe anything he told her, or do anything he might suggest that she do. All she had to do was make him, and herself, believe that she wasn’t interested in the Ketchum family.
Their meal arrived and Katherine dug hungrily into the stewed beef and accompanying refried beans and Spanish rice. She’d been trying to hold her weight down to within the guidelines the doctor had given her and so far she’d succeeded. But it was a difficult thing to do when she felt ravenous almost every minute of the day. The notion made her suddenly wonder what Lonnie thought about her appearance. Probably that she looked like a sow just ready to litter, she thought drearily.
Across the table, Lonnie spoke and reined in her wandering thoughts. “You might be interested to know that your sister, Victoria, is a doctor. An M.D. She has a practice in Aztec.”
Katherine stiffened. “The woman isn’t my sister,” she said flatly.
“How can you say that without looking at any of the evidence?”
She grimaced with denial. “I don’t want to look at the evidence. Besides, it takes more than blood to make two women sisters.”
“Hmm. Well, I suppose I can’t argue with you on that. Frankly, I wouldn’t know about siblings or what it’s like to have a brother or sister.”
Curiosity got the best of her. “You never had any?”
He shook his head. “No. My mom was a sickly woman. I think it was a miracle she gave birth to me.”
“Are your parents living now?”
Lifting his gaze from his plate, he looked at her. “My dad was killed in a barroom fight. That fact makes it sound like he was a drinker and a brawler. But he really wasn’t. He’d simply gone there to pick up some money that a man owed him for handiwork. Instead of giving him the money, the guy pulled a knife on my dad. He was dead before the police could get there to stop it.”
Shaken by his story, she said, “Dear God! What about your mother?”
“My mother—I don’t know where she is. I haven’t seen her since I was about six years old.”
Katherine suddenly forgot about Celia and the Ketchums. This man seemed the epitome of someone who’d been raised in a regular, loving family. But apparently his life so far had been anything but regular.
“Why? What happened?”
Lonnie finished chewing a bite of stuffed jalapeño before he made an effort to answer. And even then he wasn’t quite sure what to say. It wasn’t often that he talked about his parents. Especially his mother. Thinking of the woman made him uncomfortable, like a festered splinter that didn’t actually hurt. Unless you touched it.
Glancing at Katherine, he said, “I can’t really say what happened to my mother. I guess she couldn’t take losing her husband. Everyone that knew her says she went a little crazy after he died. I was old enough to sort of remember her acting strangely. But then most everyone behaves differently when they lose a spouse, don’t they?”
“Of course,” she murmured as her heart went out to him.
“Right,” he said with a grimace. “So everybody was shocked when she up and disappeared. They all thought she’d simply been grieving.”
Katherine frowned. “Disappeared? How do you mean?”
“One day she dropped me off at the neighbor’s and said she was going to the grocery store. She never came back to pick me up.”
“Maybe she ran into foul play,” Katherine suggested. She didn’t want to believe a mother, especially this man’s mother, could so callously leave her child behind. “Was there an investigation?”
Lonnie nodded. “A lengthy one. It appeared she simply drove off and never came back. They found her closets empty and a few other indications that she’d left of her own accord.”
“Oh. That’s—well, I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you.”
His shrug belied the hollow sense of loss he carried around in his heart. “It hurt. That’s what it was like. But the family she’d left me with took me in like I was one of their own. I was fortunate in that way.” He leveled his gaze at her. “So you see, I don’t know much about mothers and fathers or brothers and sisters. Except what it’s like not to have any. That’s why I know if I was in your shoes, I’d be dancing a jig, breaking my neck to get to my family.”
She could understand his thinking. She really could. But to leap toward the unknown was a scary thing. What if she did go to New Mexico, meet the Ketchums and get to like them, get to believe they really were her relatives and then find that the evidence about their mother had been all made up or was merely gossip? She couldn’t survive that sort of letdown. Even worse, what if the Ketchums decided they didn’t like her and shunned her? Wouldn’t that be worse than knowing you had a family in the first place?
Gripping her fork, she leaned forward and looked at him anxiously. “Then what do you think I should do?” she asked.
Her question appeared to catch him off guard, and then he suddenly shot her a broad smile and reached for her hand.
“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do, Miss Katherine. You’re going to go home with me.”
Chapter Four
“Go home with you?” Her mouth gaped like a dying fish as she leaned across the table toward him. “Did I hear you say that?”
Lonnie swallowed and wondered why he felt as though he was about to get on old Roaney, one of the meanest, most unpredictable horses he’d ever owned. He’d thrown Lonnie several times over the years, but thankfully Lonnie was still around to talk about it. Having Katherine as a houseguest couldn’t be any more dangerous.
“You sure did.”
A strange giggle burst past her lips and she slapped her palm over her mouth. “You’re kidding. Right?”
His expression sobered and he tightened his hold on her hand. “No. I’m dead serious. I want you to come home with me. To the Rocking C—that’s my ranch out near Hereford. A thousand acres of fine grassland,” he added proudly. “You’ll like it there. It’s quiet and far away from any city noise. It’ll give you a place to rest and think—about what you want to do.”
Dear God, he was serious, Katherine thought wildly. Her heart began to lope at a dizzying speed. “I—there’s no way I would go home with you!”
He actually blanched, and Katherine felt oddly ashamed of herself as he slowly, deliberately pulled his hand away from hers.
“Well,” he said in a resigned voice. “I expected that from you.”
As though the subject was closed, he picked up his fork and began to eat. Katherine stared at his bent head and wondered why she felt awful. She didn’t owe this man anything.
“Well, don’t take it personally,” she said after a few moments passed.
He looked up at her and she inwardly winced at the wry little twist on his lips. “Don’t worry, Katherine. You didn’t hurt my feelings. I’m pretty much used to women reacting to me like that.” The wry expression on his face turned humorous. “Not that I go around asking women to go home with me. This is…different.”
Frowning, she shook her head. “Well, any normal, red-blooded girl ought to be flattered by an invitation from you.”
His face brightened with a grin. “You think so?”
Katherine felt her cheeks growing hotter by the second. “Sure I do. You’re a nice man. I just can’t go with you—for other reasons.”
Leaning back in his chair, he folded his arms against his broad chest. “Other reasons? Like what?”
In an attempt to appear casual, she picked up her fork and poked at her food. “It should be pretty obvious. I don’t know you. Not really. And I have obligations here. Like my job, among other things. Besides, running off with you to Hereford doesn’t make a lick of sense.”
“You’d be closer to your brother, Seth. The minute you gave him the word, he’d drive up to see you.”
With her fork halfway to her mouth, Katherine paused to look at him. “So that’s what this is all about. T
he Texas Ranger put you up to this.”
He nodded and she noticed he didn’t seem to be the least bit embarrassed by the admission. But then, why would he be? Katherine asked herself. Lonnie hadn’t invited her to his ranch because he was attracted to her. He was simply doing it for a friend.
“He doesn’t want you to be alone when you have the baby. And frankly, I don’t, either.”
Too bad Walt hadn’t felt that way, Katherine thought dourly. But then it was probably for the best that he’d shown his true colors. It would be even more devastating to marry a man and discover he didn’t love you. And now that they’d gone their separate ways and she’d had time to think about it, she wasn’t at all certain that she’d loved him. Walt had been a companion and he’d eased her loneliness, but that wasn’t the same as love.
“Why should that matter to you?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “Just because I’m a lawman doesn’t mean that I’m heartless.”
Oh, he wasn’t heartless. She’d noticed that about him during the first five minutes she’d met him. He was a big man with a compassion to match. That was one of the reasons she couldn’t trust herself to go to the Rocking C Ranch with him. He would be kind enough to let her lean on him. Both mentally and physically. And she didn’t want to use him like that. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
“I never thought you were. I just meant—well, you don’t know me. What happens to me shouldn’t matter to you.”
She was darn sure right, Lonnie thought. Katherine McBride’s life shouldn’t mean anything to him. But he was feeling himself being drawn into her problems. He was already starting to imagine her in his house, sleeping in one of his beds.
“I do know you, Katherine. More than you think. I’ve been trailing you for three months now. I know where you lived as a child. Where you went to elementary school and where you and Celia lived when you moved to Canyon. I know where you went to high school and college, when you went to work in the tax assessor’s office and how long you’ve lived in Fort Worth. I know that you lived with your…aunt until she died at the age of sixty-five from kidney failure and that you took care of her and drove her back and forth to the clinic for dialysis in between your college classes.”
Her heart winced as she thought about those terrible days when her mother’s health had begun to rapidly fail. Katherine had felt so helpless as she’d watched her only relative slip away from her. Now she had no one. No family to call on or lean on through happy and sad times.
“Don’t call Celia my aunt,” she muttered. “She was my mother. My only mother!”
“Sorry. I’m not trying to be insulting. I guess I’ve just known the truth for a while now and I don’t think of Celia McBride in those terms. Not when I know that Amelia and Noah were your parents.”
Katherine put down her fork and gazed pointedly at his empty plate. “If you’re finished eating, I need to get home.”
She was vexed with him because she didn’t want to think about the Ketchums, Lonnie thought. She probably believed that once he left Fort Worth, her life would get back to normal and she’d be able to put the whole matter out of her head for good. But it wasn’t going to work that way. She would go on thinking and wondering, until one of these days she would feel compelled to know about her real parents.
“Sure. I’ll motion to the waiter for the check. Unless you’d like to stay and have dessert.”
Katherine shook her head. “I’m full. Besides, it’s not good for me to eat rich sweets.” Nor sit here and be charmed by a man who could never be a permanent fixture in her life.
Lonnie paid for their meal, then helped her with her coat. Once they were out of the restaurant and in his truck, Katherine was embarrassed to think she was behaving like a petulant child. Especially when this man had been nothing but kind to her. After all, it wasn’t his fault that her parentage had come into doubt. He’d simply been a courier.
“I’m sorry I caused you to cut your meal short,” she said as he pulled onto the thoroughfare. “I guess I’m just an irritable pregnant woman.”
He glanced her way. “Forget it. I’d already finished everything on my plate. You’re the one who didn’t eat.”
A sigh slipped past her lips. “I had plenty,” she said in an absent voice, then her head turned earnestly toward him. “You were serious a few minutes ago, weren’t you? When you asked me to go to your ranch.”
He nodded. “I was serious.”
For some reason she felt cornered, which didn’t make sense. This man wasn’t pressuring her in any way.
She breathed deeply. “Well, surely you know that wouldn’t make sense. I have a job here. My life is here. Why would I want to go to West Texas with you?”
“Could be it would do you good to get away from the everyday grind for a while. Especially since the baby will be here soon.”
He was right about that. It would be heaven to be able to rest and relax, to not have to deal with Richard hovering over her. But living with a sexy, single sheriff wasn’t the way to go about getting relief.
“That’s another thing,” she said. “I doubt my obstetrician would allow me to travel. Not that I’m considering going.”
He didn’t make any sort of reply and after that they both remained silent until he pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building.
“Lonnie, thank you—”
“Katherine, I really—”
They both stopped abruptly as their words tangled together and then Katherine smiled briefly and gestured for him to speak first.
He parked near the staircase leading up to her apartment but left the engine running so that the heater would keep them warm.
Turning slightly toward her, Lonnie caught her gaze in the semidarkness. “I was just going to say I wish you would reconsider. I understand you don’t want to think about Celia lying to you. And you wouldn’t have to dwell on that part. Just think about getting a new family.”
And what if it turns out that the new family doesn’t want me? she thought. What if I did get close to them and then it turned out that all this evidence about Amelia and Noah was really just gossip? How could I bear such a loss?
Shivering at the questions in her mind, she shook her head. “I thank you, Lonnie. For all the trouble you’ve gone to…to let me know about this. But I’ve got my baby to think about. And I don’t really want my life to change. It’s okay like it is. I’ll be better off if I just let the whole thing drop. And so will the Ketchums.”
“How could you know that?” he argued. “You’ve never met them.”
“And they’ve never met me,” she countered. “So they can’t be so all-fired sure they want me in their family. Just like I can’t be sure I’d want to be in theirs.”
“You could have a trial run,” he reasoned.
She clutched the hood of her coat beneath her chin. “Real families don’t have trial runs. They’re just stuck with each other. And sometimes they’re miserable. That’s not for me. I’d rather be alone.”
Lonnie studied her wretched expression and wished there was some way he could change her mind, to make her see she was turning her back on something precious. “Sometimes they’re not miserable, though. Sometimes they’re real happy.”
Her eyes strayed away from his as she looked out the windshield and sighed. “That’s a chance I don’t want to take.”
Heavy disappointment flooded through him and he wondered whether his melancholy was because this was the last time he’d ever see Katherine McBride, or because she was giving up the chance of a lifetime. Either way, he wouldn’t give up on her.
Reaching to the back pocket of his jeans, he pulled out his billfold and fished a business card from the contents. With a ballpoint pen, he scratched his name and home phone number across the back, along with the name of the motel he was staying at here in Fort Worth.
“Here’s my home number and also where I’m staying tonight. If you change your mind before morning, call me at the motel. An
d if you change your mind later, call me at the house or my office. I’m usually always available.”
Katherine looked at the card. If she had any sense, she wouldn’t accept it. She’d break the connection between them completely. But to think of never seeing or talking to this man again was something she didn’t want to contemplate, so she snapped the card from his fingers and thrust it into her coat pocket. She wouldn’t look at it, she promised herself. Just knowing it was there would be enough.
She unsnapped the seat belt, then leaned across the expanse of the leather seat. There was a look of surprise and confusion on his face as she planted a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Goodbye, Lonnie. Have a safe trip home.”
He stared in wonder while she opened the door and slid to the ground and then reality hit him and he jumped out of the truck to assist her.
“You don’t think I’m going to let you go back up those stairs by yourself, do you?”
She smiled wanly at him as he took her by the arm. “I climb them every day by myself.”
“Maybe you do. But I’m here tonight. And it’s very dark.”
The clouds were high and heavy, blotting out any iridescent light there might have been from the moon and stars. It was nice to have his big arm to cling to and the shelter of his body shielding her from the cold wind as they climbed the concrete stairs to the landing above. Yet as they walked to the door, all she could think about was that he was leaving and she’d never be close to him again. More than likely she’d never see him again. The thought saddened her like nothing had in a long, long time.
“Do you have your key?”
“Sure. Just a minute.” She fumbled in her purse, then handed him the silver object. He quickly opened the door and she reached inside and flipped on the light.
“Would you like for me to go inside and check everything out?”
Tears gathered at the back of her eyes, making her feel like a complete fool. It had to be those damn hormones again. She wasn’t a woman prone to tears. Not even in hard times.
“No, thank you, Lonnie. We have good security here. I’m sure everything is fine. You need to be on your way. You have a long drive ahead of you tomorrow.”
A Baby on the Ranch Page 6
