“How old were you then?”
“Oh, maybe twenty-three. I was starting to change a little then. My body had filled out—the freckles had faded, along with the brightness of my hair. Ginger’s attention was a balm to my ego and I ate it up. I thought it was love. I thought she wanted to marry me.”
As Katherine studied his downcast face, her heart squeezed with pain for him. In her wildest dreams she couldn’t imagine this strong, handsome man ever having such low self-esteem. She couldn’t imagine a woman teasing him, deceiving him. It was unbelievable.
“You obviously broke up,” Katherine stated. “So what happened? Why did she even come to your town, anyway?”
He grimaced. “She was a student at New Mexico State University, off for summer vacation. She’d come to Carrizozo to visit relatives and I guess the little desert town was boring to her after the hustle and bustle of college at Las Cruces. She needed something to entertain her and that something was me. But by summer’s end she was finished playing with me. She went back to Las Cruces to complete her education. But not before she laughed in my face and told me that she’d never marry a bumpkin like me.”
“Oh, Lonnie,” she said in a stricken voice. “I’m so sorry.”
A mocking, guttural sound erupted from him. “Don’t be sorry. Ginger was far from wife material. It just took me a while to understand that.”
Little David had stopped nursing. Katherine peeped beneath the blanket to see the baby was sound asleep so she smoothed her clothing over her breast and carried him to the couch.
After she’d carefully positioned her son on his back in the rattan basket, she tucked a heavier blanket around his shoulders, then placed a tiny kiss on his forehead.
Across the way, Lonnie watched her movements and ached with a need he’d never felt before. It wasn’t just the fact that he wanted this woman in his bed. God help him, he wanted her in his life. He wanted to come home to her every day and every night. He wanted to see his own children in her arms.
Rising up from the basket, Katherine walked over to the fireplace and stood close to Lonnie’s side. He looked down at her, his brows arched.
Placing her hand on his arm, she gave him a crooked smile, “You know what I say about your Ginger?”
“No,” he answered a little warily. “And I’m almost afraid to ask.”
She chuckled softly and Lonnie was reminded again of how much he liked to hear her laugh, to see her smile. She was meant to be happy. He wanted her to be happy, even more than he wanted it for himself.
“I say good riddance. You didn’t need someone like her.”
This woman understood what he’d gone through far more than he’d expected her to, and suddenly he felt as if he’d shed an old skin pitted with deep scars.
“After a while I could see that I was better off without her, Katherine. But, do you have any idea how humiliating it is to a man to have a woman reject him, put him down as though he was nothing more than a pastime?”
Her fingers slid gently, sweetly up his arm and back down again. “I know exactly how humiliating it feels. Walt pretty much put me through the same thing.”
Lonnie cupped the side of her face with his big hand. “And I’d pretty much like to knock his head off,” he murmured huskily. “I hate like hell that he hurt you, Katherine.”
Her heartbeat quickened as she watched his eyes settle on her mouth.
“Lonnie, I—”
The words she’d been about to say suddenly stopped as his eyes darkened and his head dipped toward hers.
“Katherine, don’t say anything,” he whispered. “Just let me kiss you. That’s what I want to do. So much.”
Joy splintered inside her and before she had time to consider the consequences of being close to him, she stepped into his arms and raised her mouth to his.
This time when he kissed her she wasn’t weary from the aftermath of childbirth. This time she was thinking only of him and the iron-hard band of his arms circling her waist, the warmth of his chest pressing against hers and the domination of his lips as he tasted and coaxed.
In only a matter of moments a low moan emitted from somewhere deep inside her and she opened her lips and allowed his tongue to thrust past her teeth.
The intimate contact sent her head reeling and her hands clinging to his back. Heat raced up and down her spine and collected in her loins like a pool of molten lava ready to explode.
Breathing hard, Lonnie eventually lifted his mouth and looked at her. All Katherine could do was look back at him and moan incoherently.
“Katherine—my sweet little Katherine—I guess you can see how much I want you.”
There was a wry tone to his voice, as though he already understood that he couldn’t have her and she couldn’t have him. The thought filled her with such disappointment that tears stung her eyes.
“And I want you, too, Lonnie,” she whispered.
“Do you really, Katherine?”
To answer his question, she went up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his waiting mouth.
Once again his kiss devoured her lips, his hands splayed against the small of her back, then slid upward until he was gripping both of her shoulders. As he urged her body close to his, she could feel her breasts tingling, the nipples tightening into hard buds.
She wanted him to touch her all over, to kiss her, to taste every intimate part of her. The unsolicited thoughts should have shocked her. But they didn’t. Everything about being in Lonnie’s arms felt right and good. Except that it had to end, her mind tacked on. For the sake of her baby and herself, she had to pull away from him while she still could.
The faint stirring of Katherine’s body was enough to tell Lonnie something was wrong. Easing his head up, he sucked in several long breaths of air.
“Did I hurt you? Damn it, Katherine, I’m a lughead. You shouldn’t be doing this. You’ve just had a baby and—”
Placing a finger against his lips, she whispered gently, “We weren’t doing anything that could hurt me.” Unless you count breaking my heart, she thought sadly.
“I know. But we, uh…” His hands kneaded her shoulders as he searched for the right words. “We might have gotten carried away. Hell, I was carried away.”
Tenderly she clasped his face with trembling hands, and as she gazed up at him, her heart suddenly swelled with an emotion she didn’t quite understand.
“Lonnie, that’s not what I’m concerned about. I mean, you’re right, it wouldn’t be safe for me to…to make love so soon after the baby. But I…”
As her words trailed away, color seeped into her cheeks. Dropping her head, she stared at the stone hearth beneath their feet and wondered how she could explain herself without hurting him.
Sensing her troubled thoughts, his hand closed around her chin and gently lifted her face up to his. “But you don’t want us to be kissing. Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
A helpless groan slipped from her throat. “I don’t know how to explain, Lonnie. I like kissing you. I like it too much.”
He looked perplexed. “I don’t understand, Katherine. If you like it, what’s the problem? I would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.”
Turning her back to him, she heaved out a heavy sigh. “I never dreamed that you would. I’m just not ready for this. I have so much going on in my life. And I’ll be honest, Lonnie, after Walt I’m not in any hurry to get involved with another man.”
“You think I could be like him?”
He sounded incredulous, offended and even hurt. Yet Katherine couldn’t help it. She’d been betrayed and hurt herself. She just didn’t have it in her to trust so easily again.
“No. Clearly, you’re nothing like Walt. But—you’ve had your own problems and I can’t see you wanting to take on more with a single mother and infant son.”
He moved up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. When his voice sounded close to her ear, she shivered with longing.
“
How do you know I wouldn’t want to take on you and David?”
Suddenly she was trembling with fear. She cared for this man. Cared for him deeply. If she allowed herself to fall in love with him, she’d be opening her heart up to all sorts of pain.
“I just do, Lonnie. You’ve been a bachelor for a long time. That tells me a lot. That you like living alone and that you don’t trust women.”
She was right about that last part, Lonnie thought. He didn’t like the idea of handing his heart over to another woman. Not after Ginger. But damn it, Katherine was different! She made him look at the future and believe that this time he could be happy. This time he could have real love.
With his cheek pressed against hers, he said, “You’re wrong, Katherine, I’ve never liked living alone. But I can’t deny the part about not trusting women. That’s pretty hard to do when you’ve been taken for a ride like the one Ginger took me on. But I don’t believe you’re anything like her. If I did, well, you wouldn’t be living here with me—like this.”
Slowly she turned in the circle of his arms and, for a moment, as Katherine looked up at his face, it was all she could do to keep from flinging herself against his broad chest and crying out just how much she wanted and needed him.
“I thank you for that much, Lonnie. But I still think…no,” she corrected, “I know that we should just be friends.”
Friends? The word bounced around inside him like a loose marble. How could they be just friends, he wondered wildly. He’d delivered her baby! He’d seen and touched the most intimate parts of her body! He’d kissed her like there was no tomorrow and she’d kissed him back with a fervor that had stolen his breath. They couldn’t go back to being friends. Not now. Not ever.
“Maybe that’s how you think of things, Katherine. But I’m willing to wait and see.”
Chapter Ten
The next day was beautiful. To Katherine, looking out the window of Lonnie’s ranch house, the bright-blue sky seemed to stretch forever. Nearby, in the yard, a few gold-and-red leaves still clung to the branches of several cottonwood trees. The snow and ice that had coated the countryside with a layer of white several days ago had quickly melted away to expose yellow winter grass and late-autumn foliage. But even though the remnants of the snow and ice were gone now, the memories of that storm still lingered in Katherine’s mind.
She’d been so very frightened, especially for her child. But Lonnie had soothed her fears. He’d touched her with a firm confidence that had assured her, that had made her believe he would never let anything happen to her. There was no doubt she was deeply grateful to him for helping to bring her son safely into the world.
And last night, after Katherine had kissed him so recklessly, she’d tried to tell herself that gratefulness was the reason she’d stepped so willingly into his arms.
But now, in the bright morning light, she had to admit, at least to herself, that she’d been feeling far more than grateful when she’d kissed Lonnie. She’d wanted him with a fervor that, when she thought about it, still warmed her blood. Yet no matter how she felt, she told herself fiercely, she couldn’t let it happen again.
She was just one step away from loving him and even though she could see that he was a good man, that didn’t mean he was the right one for her. Being a good man didn’t mean that he would stick around through thick and thin. After a few days or even weeks, he might grow tired of having her and the baby around. He might decide having a ready-made family wasn’t what he wanted after all. And then where would she be?
Katherine didn’t want to think about that possibility as she gently washed David’s soft skin. She had a baby to think about now and her job back in Fort Worth. She wasn’t going to risk her security—or her heart—for any man.
At the kitchen table, with the warm sunlight streaming through the windows, she finished giving David a bath. A task that was turning out to be far more pleasant than yesterday’s, when he’d cried at the top of his lungs the whole way through. This morning her son seemed to be enjoying the feel of the warm water cascading over his little body and his vague blue gaze stared curiously up at her as she crooned and talked to him in a quiet voice.
After rubbing him down with lotion, she dressed the boy in a pair of blue sleepers and placed him back in the basket. Just as she was tucking Lonnie’s little stuffed horse near the baby’s feet, the telephone rang.
Picking up the basket, she carried the baby with her to the living room to answer the call. Several times, during the past few days, Katherine had answered the phone to find an irate resident of the county phoning to complain to Sheriff Corteen about stolen property or trivial threats made by acquaintances or neighbors.
Expecting this call to be similar, she braced herself before she picked up the receiver. “Sheriff Corteen’s residence,” she answered brightly.
“Hello. Is this Katherine? Katherine McBride?”
The voice was warm and male and not anyone that she recognized. Katherine went on instant alert as her mind whirled, trying to recognize who the caller might be. Could it be one of Lonnie’s deputies? Had Lonnie been injured or worse?
Her heart racing with sudden fear, she answered warily. “Yes, I’m Katherine McBride. Is there something I can do for you?”
There was a slight pause and then the caller said, “I hope I’m not disturbing you, and I know Lonnie’s going to be as mad as hell when he finds out I called you, but—I just couldn’t wait any longer.”
Katherine couldn’t explain why, but all of a sudden she didn’t have to guess who was on the other end of the line. Her hands and knees began to shake, forcing her to take a seat on the arm of the couch.
“You’re Seth,” she said matter-of-factly, “the Texas Ranger.”
The man released a long breath and Katherine realized with amazement that this Texas Ranger was actually nervous about talking to her. Which didn’t make a lick of sense. The man didn’t have anything to lose. He already had brothers and a sister, money and social standing. None of that would vanish if she decided not to join their family. On the other hand, Katherine was the one who’d be the loser if she allowed these people to draw her into their fold and then have them kick her out for one reason or another.
“That’s right. I guess Lonnie has told you about me.”
His voice was slow, his words deliberate. Could this really be her brother, Katherine wondered frantically. Just the idea shook her with all sorts of strong emotions.
“Uh, yes—yes, he has,” she stuttered.
“How are you making out up there on the Rafter C?” he asked.
Relieved that he wasn’t plowing right into the subject of the circumstances of her birth, Katherine released a silent, pent-up breath. “I’m doing fine. Lonnie is a…wonderful guy. He’s made sure I have everything I need and that I’m comfortable.”
“I have no doubt about that. Lonnie and I have been friends for a long time. There’s none better.”
“He thinks highly of you, too.” She realized she was gripping the telephone so hard that her fingers were starting to ache. She focused her gaze on the rolling plains beyond the nearby window and told herself to relax. This man couldn’t hurt her. She wouldn’t let him hurt her.
“I heard about you giving birth to your son there on the ranch. You must be a strong woman.”
Even if this man wasn’t her brother, to receive a compliment like that from a Texas Ranger was certainly enough to put a faint smile on her face. “Thank you. But Lonnie probably thinks otherwise. I’m afraid, he, uh, had to calm me down a few times.”
“Believe me, Katherine, Lonnie thinks you’re just about the bravest woman that’s ever walked this earth. And coming from him, that’s saying a lot.”
Hot color filled Katherine’s cheeks. She struggled for some sort of suitable reply, but everything that came to mind would only make it sound as if she adored Lonnie. And that was the last thing she wanted Seth Ketchum to think. Because he would no doubt share this conversation with his go
od law buddy.
“Are you—is there anything that you and the baby need?” Seth asked. “Is he doing okay?”
Katherine swallowed at the sincerity she heard in this man’s voice. He sounded as though he really cared whether she and the baby were okay or in need. How could that be if he’d never even met her? And how could he be so warm to her if she really was the product of his mother’s affair with Noah Rider? The whole notion was beyond Katherine’s comprehension. But maybe the Ketchums were a special breed.
“The baby is doing great. And there’s nothing we really need. Lonnie has seen to that.”
“Thank God for Lonnie, huh?” Seth asked.
She could hear a smile in his voice, yet she understood his humor was filled with fondness not mockery.
“He’s wonderful,” she said, and in that moment, she realized she couldn’t have meant it more. Lonnie was unlike any man she’d ever met.
“I don’t suppose you’ve thought yet about going up to the T Bar K.”
He’d said it more as a statement than a question, yet Katherine felt inclined to answer him anyway. The man had taken the time to call her. He deserved that much.
“No. Having my son ahead of time has sort of…changed things.”
She could hear him take a deep breath and let it out. Funny how she felt like doing the same thing.
A Baby on the Ranch Page 14
