by Robin Bayne
“Neither of us has children−yet,” Tia said.
Disappointed, Mrs. Marshall let the discussion drop off then, deciding to go find that “nice young man” who worked here.
Tia smiled as she imagined Colt’s response to their guest’s prying.
Colt had been scarce all day, running errands, and doing yard work.
She’d heard hammering from the front, probably Colt bracing the front sign after he’d polished it.
They’d discussed replacing it with a new design, or replacing the missing cardinal figure, but agreed to leave the name as it was, since it was named for Crane Lake.
Years ago, she’d fancied herself the cardinal and Colt the crane.
But then everything had splintered.
~*~
Colt pushed his hair back, wet from the shower. It needed to be hacked off, all of it, but something felt wrong about getting it cut. He wasn’t sure why.
The smell of steak came from the kitchen. Tia’s filet something-or-other dinner was his absolute favorite. He could never remember—amnesia or not—the fancy Italian name she called it, but it was steak and garlic mashed potatoes, and fancy vegetables he refused to call a “medley” and her homemade bread. His mouth watered already.
He greeted his guests and showed them to the table, set up with a pretty green and white cloth and lots of candles. Girl stuff, really, but Colt was glad Tia took care of it because guests liked it. They called it atmosphere.
When Tia entered from the kitchen carrying a big platter, Colt moved quickly to take it off her hands. The steaks sizzled on the tray and each one had a little flag indicating how it was cooked. She thought of everything.
Their guests insisted they all grab hands for grace, so they complied.
But his appetite suddenly disappeared.
He only had eyes for Tia. She’d piled her hair into a thing on top of her head, with a few pieces curling around her face. It looked very elegant.
Mr. Marshall seemed to notice, too, but Mrs. Marshall was watching her husband. Good thing.
After he helped her bring out the rest of the food, Colt sat across from her at the table. He’d rather sit next to her, but she wanted the hosts to be at the ends of the table. It was probably just as well. This way he could stare at her across those candles. She seemed to glow with the flame.
~*~
The clink of silverware to dish went on uninterrupted. Tia’s meal was being enjoyed. She shifted in her chair, trying to ease the stretch of the dress across her back. It was too tight. The weight she’d lost after the accident was slowly but surely returning. But she’d never mention that.
A soft clump of mashed potatoes clung to her fork, and Tia licked it off with pleasure. She loved clumpy potatoes. Finally, she rose to make coffee, gathering dishes.
Mrs. Marshall sighed and pushed her plate away. “That was wonderful, dear. I’ll have to work off those calories.”
Her husband wiped his mouth on a cloth napkin. “Are there horses here? Years ago there were.”
“Not yet,” Colt said, pushing in his chair and picking up his plate.
Tia shook her head, but Mrs. Marshall was already galloping ahead. “I know! Let’s go swimming tomorrow.”
Tia smiled. “The pool’s just been cleaned.”
“Oh, no, I mean in the lake. Do you still have that catamaran, dear?” She turned to Colt, clasping her wrinkled hands together. “I haven’t been boating in years. Would you be able to take us out, young man?”
~*~
Colt’s fork slid, clunking as it hit the table. Then he slid out the back door, unable to tell the folks why their request was unreasonable. Unfortunately, he knew he was the one being unreasonable.
He also knew he owed his guests a decent explanation for bolting like a startled deer. Colt paced the backyard, struggling to come up with one.
Tia would ask, he knew, and he still owed her something from the other day when he’d found her sliding into the lake.
But how could he put his feelings into words? It was gut instinct or something. Stay away from the lake. It had to be more than just the accident, didn’t it? That was more than eight years ago.
He was completely recovered now, and his memory was back−most of it. The lake was just a hole in the ground, full of water, nothing more. Most boats didn’t capsize and knock out the occupants, stealing away their lives. Nah, it wasn’t the lake.
He glanced at the kitchen window. Tia was there, doing dishes in the bright room. She reached up and brushed something from her apron, her hand skimming down her figure. His pulse quickened. Why did she have to be so pretty? She wasn’t his. He’d decided that years ago.
Colt grabbed the back of his neck and rubbed, looking up at the sky. The moon was just starting to appear, and the North Star had popped up over his head. He decided to go down to the lake tomorrow, after he’d spoken to his father, and check out the pier to see what repairs it needed. Get the place ready for the summer crowd, maybe get a boat. Why not? He’d never been afraid of anything before. He had God behind him.
God must still have his back, right? He had kept him from dying, must have been for a reason. Colt swallowed. He’d neglected his faith for too long.
Now he had nothing but a broken down inn that needed repairs...it was a lot like him.
~*~
Well, Liz certainly seems happy about her decision to stay here. Tia scanned her most recent e-mail message. She’d moved to her bedroom to check for new messages. Her friend still seemed to believe Tia belonged with Colt, despite all that had happened. Of course, Liz had also set her up on a variety of blind dates over the years, but Tia had always suspected Liz chose the wrong men just so Tia could compare them all to Colt and find them lacking.
Tia typed a note, once again stating that this was a business relationship, period. But this time she added an extra thought at the end. “This is my sister’s ex-fiancé. She’s the one he went home with, remember?” She figured Liz would get the idea this time.
Regardless of her curiosity about Colt, which she felt was understandable given the circumstances and the lack of closure she’d had, Tia knew in her heart that the time for a relationship between them had long since passed. She felt a little indigestion coming on. Must be that rich dessert she’d scarfed down after Colt bolted.
Colt had chosen Cami.
She added that note to her message and hit send, a knock sounding at her door as the message box disappeared into cyberspace.
“Tia? Can I talk to you?” Colt’s voice sounded tired.
Tia closed her mailbox and opened the screen she was working on. “Colt, come here and look over my shoulder a minute.” When he was standing behind her, she continued. “This is what I have so far for our web site. I need a photograph of the sign out front, after we get it fixed, for this home page. And a picture of the courtyard and pool, and a few of the guest rooms, and the lake. What do you think?”
He stroked his chin like a professor as Tia twisted to see his expression. “I’m impressed.”
As you should be. She squirmed with pride. “And look at this map I’ve used.” She changed to a screen lit with colorful roadways and a crane’s head to mark the site of the inn.
“Nice. Guess I know what you’ve been doing in here alone every night.”
Tia wasn’t about to get into that issue. Instead, she showed Colt the other sites she’d linked to, to help bring more traffic to their own. “I’m trying to work the cardinal in, too, by maybe having one that flits across the screen or something. What do you think?”
His hand settled on her shoulder, and Tia felt its heat through the knit shirt she’d put on after dinner. Maybe she should set her computer up in the breakfast room if Colt would be watching. She started to suggest they move when his other hand also settled in, and he started to massage her shoulders. Tia forgot about protesting and let her muscles melt under his fingers.
Colt pressed his thumbs into her shoulder blades. “I’m seeing
my father tomorrow, and I’ll straighten him out.”
“OK.”
“I’m considering fixing up the pier.”
Tia straightened and turned to face him. “Really? I thought you were dead set against reviving the lake area.”
He shrugged. “Nothing’s final yet.”
The laptop made a dinging sound, indicating Tia had received a new message. Tia winced. Liz must be online right now.
“Don’t you want to read your message?” Colt lifted her hands and placed them on the keyboard. “Go on.”
She could hear the grin in his voice. “It might be personal.”
“I’m hoping it is.”
Slapping him away playfully, Tia turned off her screen. “If you must know, it’s probably from Liz—from college.” She closed the lid and stood, facing Colt.
He nodded. “I remember Liz. She always liked me.” Colt smiled like a child who’d done something good.
“Yeah, well, things change, buster.”
“Ouch. Guess I deserved that,” he said, taking her hand. “We’d better get out of your bedroom.” He pulled her along, down the hall and into the kitchen. “Sorry about not helping you clean up.”
“No problem. Tomorrow night it’s all yours.” She walked to the sink and looked outside. This window seemed to be the inn’s way of letting them peek into their hearts.
Colt moved behind her, standing much as he had behind her at the computer. “Tell me, if you had to confess a secret to Liz, what would it be, you know, like a pajama party thing?”
Tia’s heart pounded and she hoped he couldn’t hear it. What should she say? That she’d confess that Liz had been right about her all along? That Colt was making her very nervous? That she’d come back as much to see him again as for the career itself? That the resentment and hatred in her heart for Colt and Cami had lessened a bit since they’d separated? That every time she looked at him she got angry and jealous, as if she still cared, despite all her resolve to forgive? But she couldn’t, wouldn’t care again? That if she knew what was good for her she’d leave?
“Tia?”
“Um, I don’t know. Maybe I’d tell her that I had not actually created the recipe for Filet Fiorentini like I told her.” She giggled, thinking that was the only thing Liz was gullible about.
“You’re a naughty girl.” He wrapped his arms around her waist.
Tia instantly struggled, despite the way he made her skin tingle. He shouldn’t be touching her that way. “No, Colt.”
He backed off. “Sorry, got carried away. It’s been so long since I heard you laugh.”
“Now, tell me a secret. Fair is fair.” She waited, still staring outside, wondering if he’d confess his fear of the lake or something silly, perhaps about a childhood incident.
He stood right behind her, but didn’t touch her again. Instead he leaned close to whisper in her ear. “OK. This is a real secret−just between you and me.”
“I’ll take it to my grave.”
“Good enough. Here’s the thing. I didn’t get my memory back all at one time, Tia.”
She nodded. “I know, you’ve mentioned it coming back in pieces, after your Gran died.”
“Right. But that’s not when it really started. When I was still with Cami, she started talking about wanting to get married and have a baby.”
Tia shivered and let her nails click the counter.
“And I would wake up at night, sweating, and I started picturing a woman’s face.” He lowered his voice. “Not Cami’s face. During the day I was fine, happy with my job at Canton, happy with Cami, I think.”
Colt paused, grabbing her shoulders and rubbing them like a masseuse. “But my dreams were getting more vivid, and I woke with the memory of someone else’s lips on mine. It ate at me during the day and continued to get more intrusive. I didn’t know if I was dreaming or having memories,” he said, pausing to clear his throat. “And I must have started to act funny, because Cami knew something was wrong.”
“Oh, Colt−”
“Don’t.”
Tia didn’t move, stood frozen while she listened to his story. This was only the second time he’d opened up with her, and she didn’t want him to stop until she understood.
“Anyway, it went on for months. I couldn’t remember anything about my life prior to Cami helping me recuperate. But I kept dreaming−of another woman. And then I realized I was remembering nothing else; not flying, not my Dad, not the inn, just this other woman.” He paused, and Tia imagined he was shoving his hair out of his face.
“One night, Cami asked about setting a date again, and about babies, and I said something I shouldn’t have.” He sighed. “Don’t know where the words came from, would have bitten ‘em back if I could, but there it was. I mean, there are just certain things you don’t say to the woman you’re possibly planning to marry. Things went downhill from there. She left me a few months later.”
“What did you say?”
“That I’d always planned on having kids with you.”
4
Colt’s hand closed over Tia’s where it rested on the counter, quenching the furious tattoo of nails on marble. But her heart pounded just as madly at his admission, and she was tongue-tied, an unusual state for her. The flutters in her stomach echoed her pulse, and the adrenalin rush told her she was pleased with what he’d said, though her mind knew she shouldn’t feel happy.
And just why had he chosen to tell her that now? Some things hurt more when said out loud...or at all.
Pulling herself together, Tia finally managed to say something. “Um, I guess that comment didn’t go over very well.”
Colt made a noise, a grunt of agreement, and relinquished his hold on her, physically, at least. He made no other sound as he turned to leave the room.
Tia didn’t know if he still felt this way about her, about them, but her innermost parts tingled when she thought of carrying Colt’s baby.
And then her sister’s face smiled in her mind, dark hair covered with a white pillowcase. They’d played princess bride when they were little, each imagining her future husband. And despite the fact that Cami had betrayed her, Tia knew someday she’d need her sister again, because their sense of family was too strong to ignore forever.
It was something their mother had instilled in them at an early age, after their father left, and Tia respected her mother too much to forget. It was also something she’d sensed during one of the sermons she’d attended with Liz. And so she couldn’t have something with Colt for that reason. Well, for a lot of reasons, but that was the main one.
Thoughts of reconciling would need to be suppressed, despite their appeal, and she’d have to make that clear the next time she saw Colt alone.
He’d have to stop telling her these secrets from his soul. It shouldn’t be that hard for him to do; he’d never talked like that when they were together.
Tia was willing to wager he never talked about his feelings to Cami, either. She’d expected him to ignore her, for the most part, the personal part, when she’d first thought of working with him. Had he changed because he lost his memory or because he’d gotten it back?
Rubbing her eyes, Tia opened her last e-mail message. It was from Liz, as she expected.
“Hi Ti, I understand your position on the Coltster. I really do. I’m going to check him out again for myself. Book me a room next week. One of the southern ones with the clouds painted on the walls? TTYL. Talk to ya later−Liz.”
Sighing, Tia responded positively and shut down her system. Perhaps a chaperone was exactly what she needed, especially now, since Colt had taken to sharing his feelings after all these years.
At least Tia wouldn’t have to worry about Liz lusting after Colt−her friend would respect that unwritten code−the one that said you didn’t go after boyfriends or ex-boyfriends of your best friend. Or sister. The one that said her mother could never go after George, because she’d been friends with Colt’s mother once upon a time. So Tia’s mother ha
d married another man, leaving behind the man and the inn she loved. She’d sacrificed so much to uphold her values.
Why had no one taught Cami the code?
Tia shook off the melancholy, bordering on self-pity.
Liz was coming! Liz wouldn’t be chasing after every other man she could find, so perhaps Colt could invite a few of his buddies over while Liz was here. They could have a little party.
She could make a slew of snacks and grill chicken by the pool. Liz loved barbecued chicken, and she’d be the guest of honor. They’d invite that friend of Colt’s from Canton. Jake was young, maybe a year or so younger than Liz, but tall and handsome enough to attract her friend.
When Tia had met him the other day, she’d thought him a nice enough guy. Outgoing. Liz had always thought Colt too quiet, too religious, too removed to be interesting, but Tia suspected his buddy Jake Canton might be fun for Liz. The pair just might liven up the party.
~*~
Colt scraped at the wood block, forcing his attention on the project. He didn’t need to slice a finger off because his mind was on Tia.
Why had she accepted him so easily?
After that initial few minutes postponing the auction, she’d seemed to enjoy talking with him, being with him. She’d even let him touch her, briefly. Colt blew on the wood, scattering shavings into the air.
Had their situations been reversed, he didn’t think he’d have let her stop the auction so easily. Could she still care for him, or was that wishful thinking?
He dwelled on it all for a few minutes, or so he thought, but when he looked down he’d carved an entire sloop.
~*~
Tia woke to the sounds of large machinery humming behind the house. Pulling aside her gauzy curtains, she focused on one of the outbuildings farthest from the lake, but the misty morning air blocked her view. What was going on out there?
A glance at the clock told her it was still early. She had to get her breads in the oven by nine for the lunch she had planned. The Doyles would be in by then, and Tia wanted to serve big salads with cold shrimp in her special bread bowls.
But even more important, she had to corner Colt and ask him not to divulge any more details of his time with Cami, or any more deep dark secrets, and assure him that she would respect his privacy as well. It was the only way they could keep working together.
