Abide with Me

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Abide with Me Page 15

by E. Lynn Harris


  “Please remind me why you go to the gym late at night.”

  “Partly because it’s a way to unwind after a long day, and partly to avoid all the faggots hanging around the locker room trying to get a whiff of my stuff. Some of them still show up late at night but not that many. I don’t give a damn what gym you go to, they are always there.” When the doctor didn’t show any bewilderment at what he was saying, Basil continued. “So back to my story. I called Raymond and I must have caught him at the right time ’cause he agreed to meet me at the gym. We worked out for a couple of hours and then right before dawn we went and had coffee. We talked the whole time. Or at least I talked. He seemed to have a lot on his mind.”

  “What did you talk about?”

  “I was telling him about some of our sessions and how I thought they were helping out. Now, before you start flipping cartwheels, I’m not sure if this shit is helping or not, but I knew that’s what Raymond wanted to hear. That I might be making progress in accepting who I am. Whatever the fuck that is. I hinted that I might finally be accepting my situation, and when I worked everything out, I’d be looking for somebody permanent in my life.”

  “How did he react to that?”

  “He didn’t. He just had this blank look on that handsome mug of his.”

  “Did he say what was bothering him?”

  “Naw, but I’m certain it has something to do with that boyfriend of his.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, when I asked how the boyfriend was doing, he snapped at me, ‘I don’t talk about my partner to people he doesn’t know.’ It was one of those bitch moments of his I remember. But with Raymond I don’t mind it like I do with the honeys and mofos like Monty. Raymond’s bitch moments aren’t like a woman’s or Monty’s. He seems more poised and in control, you know, like someone who knows they’re a little bit smarter than you, but they don’t want to be arrogant about it. Raymond has gained a little weight and I can tell it’s bothering him, but he’s still a great-looking man. I mentioned it to him and he seemed a little pissed, but I told him I could help him lose it and he really seemed interested. When gay men like Raymond gain weight, it’s usually a sign that something ain’t right.”

  “So meeting with him made you happy. Did you tell him that you’re interested in him?”

  “Fuck no. If he wants some of this and I know he does—Mr. Tyler will have to come for me,” Basil said confidently.

  “And what if he doesn’t?”

  “Oh, he will. But if he doesn’t, then I’ll have to give him a little help,” Basil said slyly.

  “And how do you propose that?”

  “I’ll just figure out a way of reminding him how sweet a piece of me can be. Maybe I’ll plan a midnight swim. If the two of us get in the water together, I know he’ll remember how it was when we kicked it in Atlanta. I just got to check my memory bank and figure out which one of my friends has a place in New York with a private pool. It’s probably not that many.”

  “So you’re interested only in seducing Raymond?”

  “It’s a good place to start,” Basil smiled.

  “But what about that permanent relationship you mentioned?”

  “That was a part of the seduction. From what I know about Raymond, he’s not going to sleep with me if he thinks I’m just looking for a good fuck.”

  “Do you think that’s fair to Raymond?”

  “Don’t cha know, Doc?”

  “Know what?”

  “Life ain’t fair. If it was, my mutherfuckin’ uncle would be six feet under and my mother wouldn’t be.”

  29

  Yancey didn’t have much time before Nicole would return to the room to prepare for the evening’s performance. She rushed into their hotel room, put on the safety latch, and went into the bedroom. She dropped her gym bag on the queen-sized bed nearest the telephone and dialed Ava’s number.

  “Ava Parker speaking.”

  “Ava! This is Yancey.” Yancey removed the light blue sweatband from her head, then released her ponytail.

  “You sound out of breath, child! Is everything all right?”

  “Fine. Everything is great. I just got in from the gym and wanted to talk to you before Miss Pretty gets back. You know, Ava, I don’t know if rooming with her was such a good idea.”

  “Why not? How else are you going to get even with her?”

  “It’s just that she’s always around. Like the bitch ain’t got nothing to do but hang with me. Most of the cast members would die for the opportunity to spend this much time with Nicole alone, but she’s always with me. I can’t wait until next week when her husband comes to visit. I’m going to have a private room the last few days here in Detroit and then we’ll have a chance to talk more.” Yancey ran her fingers through her hair. She needed a shampoo and conditioning, and for once, she was thankful Dreamgirls had so many wig changes.

  “Well, even though she’s all up in your face all the time, you seem to be working it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read the review you faxed me.”

  “I’m working them fierce and it’s working everyone’s last nerve.”

  “Including Miss Pretty?” Ava asked.

  “That’s the problem, everyone except Nicole! This is one seasoned diva. Whenever I get great reviews, she congratulates me with that beauty pageant voice of hers. Like she’s trying to win Miss Congeniality or something. It’s just so damn fake.”

  It was really beginning to wear Yancey out that Nicole was always so supportive and gracious. It didn’t bother Yancey at all that her great reviews brought cold shoulders and looks of disdain from the other cast members. She knew where they were coming from. But Nicole, who should have been threatened by Yancey’s success, was as nice as she could be. Bitch! Even when Yancey lied and told Nicole that the producers of Chicago were flying her back to New York to audition for the lead in the Broadway company, Nicole was deliriously happy for her. The truth was that Yancey had to pay her own way and the audition was only for the chorus. Nicole had even confided her disappointment when the same producers had turned her down because Chicago was a “Bob Fosse dancers’ show.” “But I can dance,” Nicole had said. It was common knowledge among some Broadway casting agents that Nicole Springer was a singer who could act, but she had limited dancing skills.

  “Where is she now?” Ava asked.

  “Still working out at the gym. I know she’s wondering how I can rehearse three to four hours a day, work out at the gym, and then turn it out when the curtain rises, but she’s right there hanging in with me.”

  “So I guess she’s got to work out to keep that shape,” Ava said.

  “I guess so, but not to worry, gravity will take care of her.”

  “I can’t wait until she has a baby,” Ava said, “then hopefully, she’ll have those childbearing hips.”

  “That’s why I’m calling,” Yancey remembered. “I don’t think Miss Girl was ever going to have any children. I don’t think she can.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “It’s just a feeling I have. Do you know this friend of hers named Delaney?”

  “Naw, never heard of her. Was she a pageant girl too?”

  “I don’t know, but I think they met in New York. Nicole has never mentioned her, but Cedric, one of the gay boys in the show, told me Nicole and Delaney used to be real tight. And when Cedric brought up Delaney’s name in front of Nicole, well, you would have thought Miss Pretty had just seen a ghost.”

  “Now, I wonder what’s up with that?” Ava said.

  “It gets better …” Yancey paused dramatically, setting Ava up for the really juicy news. “It seems this Delaney person is funny. You know, a lesbo!”

  “Girl, shut up! Naw! You’ve got to be kidding?”

  “Now, tell me if I’m wrong, but I do believe there’s a story there. And I intend to find out what it is.”

  “You don’t think Miss Pretty has been bumping pussies, do you?”

  “I don’t know, but i
f she has, wouldn’t it be special if you and Miss Delaney showed up at our dressing room one night just before a performance?”

  “Darling, just tell me when,” Ava said.

  “First we have to find Miss Delaney. I’ll see what information I can get from Cedric. He loves to run his mouth when he gets a little liquor in him.”

  “And I’ll look through some of my old programs and see what I can find out,” Ava said.

  “You do that. I know we can find her. And Ava, guess what?”

  “I don’t think I can take any more news. What?”

  “My new agent called and said some people in L.A. saw me on the Rosie show. They want me to come out there for pilot season!”

  “That’s great! Who are these people? And when are you going?”

  Before Yancey could answer, she heard a knock at the door.

  “Yancey?” Nicole called out. “The safety latch is on.”

  “She’s back. I got to go,” Yancey whispered into the phone. “Hold on, Nicole. Here I come, darling.”

  30

  “I caught Raymond checking me out real serious last night,” Basil said.

  “How did that make you feel?”

  “Damn good. It means I’m getting to him. It won’t be long now,” Basil said confidently. On their second outing at the gym, they had spent about a half hour going in and out of the steam room before slipping nude into the whirlpool, barely sharing a word. Every time Basil asked Raymond if everything was all right, he said yes. When Basil asked him if he was having a good time, Raymond said, “I am.” The doctor listened intently to these details, nodding from time to time.

  “When I took off my jock—the black nylon number I wear when I want attention, you remember that one, right—Raymond’s eyes were glued to my every move, like he was in some type of trance. Yeah, all I have to do now is reel him in,” Basil said.

  “And what are you going to do when you get him?” the doctor asked.

  “I’m going to sex him down so hard he’ll forget about what’s-his-name in Seattle.”

  “So you think that will help you solve some of your issues?”

  “I don’t have any issues, Doc. I just come here because I get to say what the fuck I want and don’t have to worry about what you think. I can thank Raymond for that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “How many times do I have to tell you that Raymond was the one who suggested I go to therapy? And this is cool. I get to say whatever is on my mind.”

  “We haven’t talked about your father and uncle recently.”

  “Don’t need to,” Basil said firmly.

  “Are you ever going to tell your father what happened?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he didn’t do it. It wasn’t his fault.”

  “I think you’re avoiding something that has caused you great pain.”

  “But that’s over. The past is the past. And my mofo uncle now knows I know. Just the thought of me bustin’ him has him scared as shit.”

  “But you’ve never confronted your uncle. How does he know you remember what he did so clearly, and have you thought any more about writing him a letter?”

  “I don’t need to confront him or write him some stupid-ass letter. The last time I saw him, when his ass was almost dying in the hospital, I looked at him like I could just as soon kill him as look at him. Trust me, he knew what my eyes were saying. He didn’t use a lot of words when he did what he did, and I don’t need words either,” Basil said passionately.

  “When was the last time you talked to your father?”

  “A couple of days ago. I call him at least once a week, at least I try to. But we never talk that long,” Basil said. There was a quiet sadness in his voice. It was deep, but softer than usual.

  “How does that make you feel?”

  “What?”

  “The length of your conversations. Would you like them to be longer?”

  “No need. I find out whassup … tell him what’s going on with me and bam, we’re through. I tell him I love him and he tells me he loves me and we say, talk to you later.”

  “And do you love your father?”

  “What kinda fool-ass question is that? Of course, I love my pops. He’s all I got.”

  “And you’re certain he has no idea what happened?”

  “No, and I’m going to leave it that way. And you know what, Doc? Today you don’t have to tell me time is up, ’cause I’m out of here. I got shit to do,” Basil said as he leaped from the chair and headed for the door in a move reminiscent of his football playing days.

  The doctor didn’t even have a chance to nod before Basil was gone.

  31

  It was early Monday evening and Raymond and Jared had just finished a workout and swim at the hotel gym. Raymond had finished his brief routine first and was waiting for Jared in the empty steam room. The locker room was quiet with only an attendant trying to look busy folding towels.

  “So I’ve got a little problem I need your advice on,” Jared said as he walked into the ivory-tiled steam room wrapped in a towel.

  “What kinda problems you got?” Raymond asked as Jared sat on the bench right above Raymond. He wanted to tell Jared he didn’t know problems. The steam room had always been a place where Raymond and Jared talked over their problems. When the two of them had lived in Atlanta, they met at the gym four times a week before work, and even though they didn’t talk a lot while hitting the weights, they always ended up sharing their joys and solving problems in the steam room. It was as though the heat loosened their defenses, as well as their muscles.

  “You know, I still haven’t hired an executive assistant and it’s running me ragged. I mean if it wasn’t for my workouts, a great friend, and a wonderful wife, I’d be running stark raving mad,” Jared said.

  “You haven’t found anyone who fits the bill?”

  “Actually I’ve found two, and I don’t know which one to hire,” Jared said as he pulled his left knee up almost to his chin.

  “Tell me about them,” Raymond said in his lawyerly voice.

  “The first one is a sister named Connie Gamble. She’s actually been with the company about five years. She completed her M.B.A. at Fordham while working full-time. Really seems to have herself on the ball. Confident without being pushy. Not married, not dating seriously, so the long hours won’t bother her. Went to undergrad at FAMU and majored in engineering. And I really think we would work well together,” Jared said.

  “And the other candidate.”

  “A white guy who now works at Smith Barney. This kid is about twenty-six years old. Went to Brown undergrad and got his M.B.A. from Harvard. Sharp as a tack and great references and I got a good feel about him,” Jared said. “I’ve interviewed him three times and he seems cool for a white guy.”

  “So what’s the problem? Doesn’t sound like you could go wrong either way,” Raymond said.

  “I don’t know. Pick the wrong one and it could affect how my superiors look at me when it comes to my next promotion. Connie has her fans, but there were some problems with her last supervisor.”

  “What kind of problems?”

  “When I asked her about them, she said racism and sexism. Her former boss refuses to discuss it with me, probably because I know the firm is worried about a lawsuit. If I don’t offer the white guy the job, I might be accused of the same thing. Not sexism, but racism,” Jared lamented.

  “What’s in her employment file?”

  “It’s vague. You know, I wonder, if she wasn’t black would I even be considering her?” Jared said.

  “How so?”

  “Let’s just say if the situation were reversed on a couple of levels. Say it was Jackson Gates, the white guy, who had the problems with a previous supervisor, then I would probably have already eliminated him,” Jared said.

  “Hey, boy, you know you’re fair. What are you worried about?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe I’
m worried one day I’ll look around and I’ll be working for Jackson Gates,” Jared laughed.

  “The way things are going these days, you could be working for Connie as well. That is, if you were just an average brotha, which we both know you’re not. So I say go with your gut,” Raymond suggested.

  “I got another problem only you can help me with,” Jared said with a serious look on his face.

  “What’s that?”

  “How do I get the white folks and some of the snotty black folks to stop asking me what Chinese restaurant I work at when I’m dressed down and carrying food for my wife and me?” Jared laughed.

  “Just start taking orders, but get their money first,” Raymond teased.

  “That’s a great suggestion!”

  “Hey, and you can make some extra money for Jared Jr.”

  “If that ever happens,” Jared said quietly.

  “Trust me my brother … it will.”

  “Have I told you how glad I am you’re here?” Jared smiled as he stepped down from the top level of the steam room.

  “That’s the first time today. And I’m always happy to hear it,” Raymond said.

  “You ready to get outta here and grab something to eat?” Jared asked.

  “I’m done, but don’t you remember? I’ve got to meet Peaches in an hour,” Raymond said, lifting his body from the slippery tile.

  “Ain’t this kinda late for business?” Jared said as he pushed open the glass door.

  Raymond followed close behind and said, “You know Peaches ain’t business.”

  “I know, but my mama would be in bed by this time,” Jared joked. He walked over and took a clean towel from the attendant.

  “Peaches ain’t your average mama,” Raymond laughed.

  “And you know it.”

  “You want to go with me?”

  “But you guys are discussing business, right?”

  “Now, how much business you think I’m gonna be talking with Peaches after a couple of drinks?” Raymond laughed.

 

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