I put my hands under her thighs so that she could wrap her legs around me, and I carried her to her house.
The moment I laid her on the bed below me, I freaked out. This was the girl I loved. I knew that I could screw this up. We barely knew anything about each other, but she still loved me and I loved her. I was definitely going to screw it up.
I placed my forehead against the base of her neck, and took a deep breath.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
I couldn’t look at her. “I’m going to screw this up.”
She gripped the little bit of hair that was on top of my head, and lifted so that she could see my face. “You’re not.”
“I’m not any good at this Madeline. I don’t know what I’m doing. My hands will be all over the place, and I’ll be done in a minute. I’m no good.”
“I don’t care about any of that. It doesn’t matter to me. Maybe I’m not good either. And who cares if we’re good or bad. It’s just you and me, and I love you. Make love to me Brian.”
“You don’t know everything about me. You don’t know what kind of man I am, and what I’ve done.”
“Yes I do. I know what you did. I know about your dad. I know everything, and I still love you. None of that matters to me, I’ve never felt safer than I do with you. We have all the time in the world to know each other better. Right now I want to be with you. Quit making me wait.” She smiled.
She was so amazing. Even with all the bad things I’d done in my life, I still ended up with her.
I started to say something but she put her finger over my lips.
“Just shut up and kiss me.”
I did. We took our clothes off so that we were skin to skin. I kissed her lips, her neck, her breasts, and her stomach. I kissed every bare spot on her body. I wanted her to feel special. I wanted her to know just how important she was to me. I was slow, until I couldn’t be anymore.
She was panting and her body arched against mine. I ran my hands along her chest and down her body. She was wet against my fingertip as I pushed them inside her. I nearly exploded at the sound she made. I was high on her. I couldn’t get enough.
When she called out my name that was it. I had to be inside her. I had to feel her.
“Condom?” I said through my ragged breaths.
“I don’t have any.” Motherfucker, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. “It’s okay. I’m on birth control.”
“What does that mean, are you sure?”
“It means I’m not going to get pregnant.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” She pushed her hips up against me and we touched in all the right places.
Her red face was intoxicating to me. She nodded her head once more and I slowly entered her.
My God, it never felt that good before. I could feel everything. She moaned in pleasure as I moved all the way inside her. Once I was there, I couldn’t move. If I did it would be over. I’d never felt anything like it, and it was a hundred times better because it was her. I was done for. My legs shook as I moved back, and then in again.
“I’m sorry.” I said as she rubbed her hands down my face. It was the most intimate feeling I’d ever had.
Her lips parted and she let out a deep breath. “Don’t.” She said. “I love you.”
That was it. I moved in and out, fast and hard, and it was over. I couldn’t come down from that high even if I wanted to. My body shook all over as I lay there wrapped in her arms. It was incredible. She was incredible.
I wanted to lay wrapped in her arms forever.
“I love you.” I said, and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Chapter Twenty-Six - Present
Sometimes in life things aren’t what they seem. You think you know people. You think you have it all figured out. Then sometimes you realize what you thought you knew, was nothing like what it seemed.
A few days had passed since Madeline and I had said we loved each other. When I said that I wasn’t coming off that high, I meant it. I spent every single moment I could with her. It was more than I could have ever imagined and I loved it. Every day she told me how lucky she was to have me, and I never understood what she meant.
Then it happened.
On Friday afternoon I received a call from the pet groomer in town. Judy –my previous boss gave me an excellent recommendation, and the lady wanted to meet with me about a job. I was excited. I never thought that grooming would be what I would do with my life, but it seemed to fit me. I hadn’t planned on spending the rest of my life doing it, but for now I loved the idea.
At the interview, the lady gave me the job. She said I came highly recommended and I couldn’t believe it. Me, the guy with murderer stamped on his record, was getting a real job. I couldn’t have been happier with the way things were working out. It seemed like my life was falling into place.
When I came home from my interview, I was excited to tell to Blaine about getting the job. She had me all pumped up before leaving the house that morning. She told me that I was the master, and I had the job in the bag. My sister was the funniest thing. It worked though. I went into that interview expecting to walk out with a job, and I did.
I ran up the front steps and into the house, and didn’t even close the door behind me.
There was a look of pure terror on Blaine’s face. I knew that look. I’d seen it before when we were kids.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, running up to her.
She put a finger over her lips, telling me to be quiet. After a moment, I heard the yelling. Actually it was more like screaming. It took me a minute to realize it, but when I did, I took off out the door at full speed. I don’t know why I didn’t notice Phillip’s car in Madeline’s driveway when I got home. It was the two of them screaming.
I burst through the front door, and found him holding her against the wall. Without thinking, I knocked him in the side of the head and he dropped to the floor.
“Are you okay?” I scanned her body for any marks. She looked fine, but she was shaken up.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” She replied.
“Go to Blaine, right now! Go!” I yelled at her. She had this deer-caught-in-headlights look. “Go Madeline.” I told her, and she ran out the front door.
The bastard was moving around on the floor below me, so I reached down and grabbed him up. I kept him bent over and locked my arm around his neck so that he couldn’t breathe.
“You won’t ever touch her again. Do you understand me?” I gripped his neck tighter and he grunted. Turning him around, I pushed him back against the wall. He was weak and his lungs needed oxygen, so I squeezed my fingers around his neck cutting off his air again. “I’ve killed a man for what you’re doing.”
His eyes were wide with fear.
This is why she couldn’t leave him. He was mean to her, so she felt scared. This was the reason she told me that she felt safe with me. The thought made my stomach turn. I’d been so worried about protecting Blaine that I never worried about protecting her.
“Just a few more minutes like this and you’ll die. Do you want to die today? Be lucky I’ve had my medication, or else you’d already be dead.” I dropped him, and watched him sink to his knees on the floor.
I took my cell phone from my pocket and called 911. This asshole wasn’t going to die by my hand, but I’d see that he never hurt her again or anyone for that matter.
The girls watched from the porch as the police took him away. They asked for Madeline’s statement as well as mine, and she agreed to press charges.
She wouldn’t have to worry about him hurting her anymore.
I was proud of myself for not taking it too far. Both of the girls feared that I would hurt him bad, but I didn’t. I only wanted to scare him. I knew my limits.
It was funny how Madeline’s face reminded me so much of my sisters on the day I killed my father. It was like a five hundred pound rock was lifted from her chest, and she could finally breathe.
&nb
sp; We lay there in her bed that night snuggled up together, and we talked about her life for the first time. I mean really talked about it.
“I wish you would have told me what he was doing.” I said as I brushed a stray hair back away from her face.
“It’d been going on for so long. I felt like I couldn’t escape it no matter how hard I tried. I never really loved him, not like I love you. When I first met Blaine, and she opened up to me about her past and yours, I always thought that the two of you were so brave. That it must’ve been the most amazing feeling to have someone protect you, the way that you did for Blaine. Then I met you,” she blushed. “There was this instant connection, and I wanted you to feel the same way for me that I did for you. That day that you kissed me in my office, I wanted you so bad. It took everything I had in me, not to tell you how I really felt that day. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t risk making Phillip mad or worse. I knew what he was capable of. He scared me all the time. I just wanted to be free.”
“You don’t ever have to worry about that again, ever. I was so afraid of losing Blaine to Landon. Not really losing her, but I was afraid that she wouldn’t need me anymore, the way that she used to. It has been ingrained in me since I was a little boy that I needed to protect what I loved the most. It was what got me through the incarceration. I knew that one day I’d be free, and I could go back to protecting her the way I was supposed to. I really believed that it was my sole purpose you know? I completely flipped out when I realized that Landon had taken my place. I lost it. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt like no one needed me.”
“I need you.” She said.
“And you have no idea what it means to hear you say that. I’ll be your protector Madeline. I will forever, if you’ll let me.” I kissed her forehead, and held her close to me.
“Always,” she said. “And please don’t ever feel like I don’t deserve you. You don’t get to decide whom I love. I do, and I love you so much.”
I fought back the tears that were forming in my eyes. She was my greatest achievement in life, and I had a lot of years left. I loved her so much.
“When Blaine and I were little we made this promise to each other, every time our father crossed the line. I’m going to make that same promise to you right now.” I closed my eyes.
“I promise that some day he will be out of our lives for good. We will stick together forever, and one day there will be no more pain. I love you.”
She cried as she lay there in my arms. “I love you,” she whispered, and we fell asleep in each other’s arms once again.
~And they lived happily ever after…
Yeah right! They struggled, they loved hard, and he protected her every second of every day.
The End
Epilogue - Present
~Brian
~One year, one dog, and nine puppies later
“What are we going to do with all these puppies?” Madeline asked as she held two of them in her hands.
“Keep them.” I said. “They’re so cute.” I kissed the little solid brown ones face.
“No.” She shook her head. “We aren’t keeping them all. Just one, because Daisy is a handful by herself.”
I tried to pout, but she wasn’t having it. “Okay, fine. Pick one out to keep and we will give the rest away.”
“I like that one,” she pointed to the one in my hand. He looked the most like his momma.
“Me too.”
“What are we going to name him?” She asked.
“How about Patrick?” I suggested.
“You know,” she shook her head. “Your obsession with SpongeBob is out of control.”
“You love it to. It’s not just me.”
“Fine, Patrick it is. Come on your sister and Landon is probably wondering where we are. Dinner was ready ten minutes ago.” She pulled my arm in an attempt to make me move.
“They’ll be fine. It’s about time they had to wait on us for a change.” I kissed her lips lightly, and then her cheek, and down her neck. She was too irresistible not to. My lips were like magnets to her body.
“I’m blaming it on you. You know how cranky your sister gets.” She tried to sound frustrated, but it wasn’t working. There were moans of appreciation coming from her mouth.
I sighed and backed off. “She’s even worse now that she’s pregnant.” I added, and Madeline slapped me on the arm.
We walked hand in hand next door to the house that once was just Blaine’s and mine. A few months ago Landon moved in and I moved out. It was for the best. She was finally ready to start her life with him, and I didn’t need to be in the way. I was satisfied with being only a few steps away.
Madeline and I were doing okay. Each day there were new struggles, but we faced them head on. We grew more in love every minute. There were no babies in our future yet, unless you count the puppies. That was plenty enough responsibility for the both us. Besides, I was far too excited about being an uncle. That baby was going to be loved so hard, and undoubtedly spoiled rotten.
My future with Madeline wasn’t set in stone, but I had plans. I knew that I wanted her to be a part of my life forever. I planned on popping the big question to her on New Year’s, which was right around the corner. I already bought the ring and picked the perfect spot to ask her. Blaine helped me pick it out. She had much better taste then me. She told me that she was “the queen of bling” whatever that meant. There was no arguing with that girl.
Every day I felt like I’d learned something new. Madeline was always quick to remind me that I couldn’t learn twelve years worth of stuff in one day. She was right, but I never admitted it.
I did my best to keep in touch with the friends that I’d made while I was in the reentry program, Sutton mostly. He’d even promised that he’d come and visit when he could.
I still loved my job that was going nowhere, and my medication was still helping everyday. I hadn’t learned to drive anything but a lawn mower, and that was okay with me. Madeline didn’t mind either.
I walked from my work to hers everyday.
On a Saturday night a few months ago, Phillip was killed in a car accident on interstate 65. Drinking and driving was the cause. We never really talked about it much, but I think that Madeline was relieved that she wouldn’t have to ever worry about him again. It was sad to say, but sometimes-evil people didn’t deserve to live.
I look back on the struggles I’ve had in my life. Some hurt me in more ways than I could imagine, and some of them taught me the best lessons. It’s not easy being a felon. It’s not easy walking the streets after committing murder. Would I change it if I could? I honestly didn’t know. All I knew was, that I would forever protect the people I love at any cost. Life wasn’t meant to be easy.
~Keep turning for bonus material
Bonus Material
~Letter that Blaine wrote to Brian when he left for the re-entry program
Dear Bubba,
My heart is heavy as I’m writing you this letter. I can’t believe that you are leaving me again. I’m angry with you, and sad that you want to leave me. I know that you’re doing this to make yourself better, but I can’t help the way it makes me feel. There are so many things that I wish I would have told you while you were here. I couldn’t tell you them to your face. It was too hard for me. I was doing what you wanted. I was giving you the good things. Truth is, it’s not all good. My life isn’t perfect like you think it is.
When I left you in that courtroom all those years ago, I knew what a broken heart felt like. It was worse than when mom died. Maybe it was because you were alive, and I still couldn’t see you. Anyway, I broke down after that day. I secluded myself from everyone and everything. I didn’t want to be helped. I didn’t care about anyone or anything. I felt like it was me against the world, and the world was winning. Crazy right? I built this cement wall around myself, and I didn’t want anyone breaking through it.
It took about a year of freaking out before Grandma finally took me
to the doctor. The man said I was depressed or something, told me that I needed to be on medication to help me with my attacks. They were his words not mine. So I took what he gave me, and what the next doctor gave me, and the next one. Nothing helped me. I couldn’t stop my brain from over thinking. I was so angry all the time, and so upset that I was alone. It was the worst feeling. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that the school counselor requested that I see a psychiatrist. I didn’t like it all, but it was that or I’d have to switch schools again. Three times in two years was enough for me. I was completely unraveling at the seams, and grandma was too sick to put up with me. So I went. I saw the new doctor and she helped me find a medicine that worked for me. The same pills that I gave you when you had your freak out. I recognized it the moment that it happened. I saw myself in you. It scared the shit out of me. I had to take two pills after I watched you breakdown in the yard.
It’s funny how we did everything we could to escape the nightmare, and it still haunts us anyway. We are stuck in our own personal hell. I think of it as punishment for the ultimate crime. Landon refuses to believe that. He tells me that I just have some chemical imbalance and that I don’t deserved to be punished for anything. We just agree to disagree on the matter.
I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that I was dealing with the same problem. I’m sorry I told you everything was great in my letters to you while you were away. I wished I’d been honest with you. I didn’t want you to worry about me anymore than you already did. I felt like it was my fault that you had to kill our father. It was me he abused, not you. It was me that took away your childhood.
It took me many, many years, and lots of long talks with friends for me to realize that none of this was my fault. It wasn’t your fault either. It was his. He caused us pain. He haunted our dreams. He made it hard for us to live, and he died because he deserved to die.
15 years to life Page 13
