by Lesley Crewe
“Why Dermot held my hand.”
Bay shrugged. “I couldn’t care less.”
“Is that right?”
Bay put fresh water in Merlin’s dish and turned to face her. “Yes. I admit defeat. There’s no way I can win when you’re here, so I’ve decided to bow out gracefully. It’s obvious to me that Dermot prefers you, so I will accept it and move on with my life.”
Tansy shook her head. “I like it better when you yell your head off. Being a martyr is unattractive.”
“Insult me all you want, Tansy. I’m rising above your little games.”
“Dermot came to tell me he sold the Porsche. I don’t know why but I got upset about it and he tried to comfort me. That’s all.”
“Touching.”
“I’m telling you the truth, Bay. I haven’t seen him. I haven’t gone near him and he has made a point of staying away from me. We have done everything we can to make up for our lousy mistake, a mistake we didn’t know we made.”
“So now you two are the injured parties. Go figure.”
Tansy sat heavily on a kitchen chair. “I’m so tired. I can’t tell you how tired I am of this. Even when I try to do the right thing, it’s wrong. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how to make you happy.”
“Now who’s being a martyr?”
They weren’t aware that Ashley had come into the kitchen until she was almost on top of them. She held a piece of paper in her hand and she was as white as a sheet.
Both Tansy and Bay saw her at the same moment. Ashley tried to speak but nothing came out.
“What is it?” Bay cried. “Is it the baby?”
“When were you going to tell me?”
Bay shook her head. “Tell you what?”
“That you’re not my mother.”
There was complete silence. Bay and Tansy looked at each other and then back at Ashley.
“Sweetheart…”
“I don’t want you to talk,” Ashley said in a low voice.
“But—”
“Shut up, Bay!” Ashley yelled before she turned her attention on Tansy. “Why? Why did you leave me here? Why didn’t you want me?”
“Oh, Ashley…” Tansy got out of the chair and tried to approach her, but Ashley held her off.
“Don’t come near me.”
“You need to calm down,” Bay said. “We can talk about this. I know it’s a horrible shock.”
Ashley turned to look at her. “Shock? That’s an understatement, isn’t it? Tell me something. Did Nana know about this? Was she in on this little conspiracy too?”
Neither Bay nor Tansy said anything.
“So. Betrayed by all three of the women in my life who supposedly love me.”
“Ashley, please,” Bay implored. “You need to sit down. You don’t look well. Think of the baby.”
“I am thinking of my baby. I’m thinking about how I’d never leave Fred. Ever!”
And with that, she ran out of the house. Tansy sank back into the kitchen chair. Bay held her hand over her mouth to keep herself from screaming.
“What are we going to do?” Tansy whispered.
Bay shook her head. “This is so awful. Why didn’t we know how awful this would be? Why did we think we’d get away with it? I can’t even remember why. And now she’s going to hate me. She’s going to hate both of us. I’ve lost her. I’ve lost my little girl. Oh my God, I can’t bear it!”
Bay sank to her knees. Tansy got down on the floor and held her.
Ashley had to get to Matt, but it was dark, windy, and cold. She was out of breath and completely helpless. Her tears blinded her as she stumbled along the sidewalk. She had to get to Matt. He’d know what to do. She couldn’t go home. Home was where people lied to you and people weren’t who they said they were. Nana lied—Nana, who always made everything better, knew about this and never said a word.
Ashley got a sharp pain in her side and started to panic. She put both hands on her belly. “It’s okay, Fred. You stay right there. You can’t come yet.” She was freezing. She needed Matt. Finally, there was his street. The porch light was on. If she could get to that light, she’d be all right.
Almost there. Tripping on the steps going up to the door, she pounded on it. “Matt! Help me!”
Everything was blurred and out of focus. The door opened and Matt’s mother stood there like a brick wall. Ashley pushed past her. “Matt.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” Ruth cried.
“Where is he?”
“I think you should go home, Ashley, and stop being a drama queen.”
Matt ran down the stairs. “Ashley? What’s wrong?”
“Help me! Please help me.” She started to fall. He caught her in his arms, picked her up, and carried her upstairs.
Ruth was shocked. She called after him. “This is ridiculous, Matt. If she’s in trouble we should call her mother.”
Matt didn’t bother answering. He took Ashley into his room and kicked the door closed behind him before laying her on the bed. He sat beside her and wiped the hair out of her face and brushed away her tears. “Calm down, you’re okay. I’m here.”
“I don’t know what to do,” she shivered. “I don’t know who I am.”
“What do you mean?”
“My mother…”
“Yes?”
“She’s not my mom.” Just saying the words caused a pain to shoot through her. She clenched her stomach. “Oh my God.”
“Is it the baby?”
“I don’t know.”
“I need to call your mother.”
“No. Don’t! I can’t talk to her. I can’t look at her. She’s not my mom.”
“Ashley, you’re not making any sense.”
“I don’t know who my father is. No one wanted me. No one.” Another pain hit her. “Oh no.” She doubled up on the bed.
Matt yelled for his mother. She and his father rushed into the doorway.
“Call an ambulance. I think she’s having the baby.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Once more, Bay found herself in the emergency room. Only this time Gertie was comforting her. After they received the call from Ruth telling them that Ashley had been taken to the hospital, she called Gertie in a panic; Bay knew that neither she nor Tansy were in any shape to drive.
To her credit, Ruth did ask if she and Ian could take them in, but Bay declined. She didn’t want to be beholden to a woman who’d made Ashley’s life miserable. It was only after she hung up that Bay realized she’d made Ashley’s life more miserable than anyone, she and her sister both.
When they arrived, Bay rushed to the desk and said that her daughter had been brought in and she wanted to see her. The woman went to check the status of the situation. She came back and said Bay could go in. Tansy tried to follow her but she was told only one visitor was allowed. As Bay went through the doors, Tansy cried, “Give her my love.” Then she hid her face in Gertie’s jacket.
The confusion of the emergency department was disconcerting. Bay wasn’t sure where she should go, and in her heightened state of upset, she couldn’t concentrate enough to read the signs. From behind she saw a man she thought she knew but she couldn’t remember his name.
“Could you help me, please?”
The doctor turned around. It was Peter’s brother, Michael.
“Bay, isn’t it? Gertie’s friend? What are you doing here?”
Bay grabbed his sleeve. “Please, my daughter was brought in. She’s in early labour. The baby’s not supposed to come until Christmas. Please help me.”
“Of course, calm down. We’ll find her.”
Michael talked to someone at the nurses’ station. She pointed down the hall.
“Come this way.”
Bay followed him. She was grateful to have someone else with her. When they got to the room, the curtain was pulled over. Michael held it to one side. Another doctor and nurse were in the room. Ashley was lying on an examination table while Matt held her
hand.
“Excuse me,” Michael said. “Her mother’s here.”
Bay pushed by him and rushed to Ashley’s side. “Oh my God, sweetheart, are you all right?”
Ashley took one look at her. “Get out. I don’t want to see her!”
Everyone was stunned.
“Oh no, Ashley, please let me stay. I love you.”
“Go away!”
The attending physician pointed at Michael. “Get her out of here. We’re taking her upstairs to try and stop these contractions.”
Bay cried out to Matt, who looked completely miserable. “Take care of her…please take care of her!”
“I will. I promise.”
Michael took Bay by the shoulders and escorted her out the door. Bay held her face in her hands and cried as if her heart would break. He needed to get her out of the corridor, so he ushered her into an empty room and sat her down, pulling up a chair beside her while he passed her a box of tissues. “You need to calm down or you’ll be sick. Do you hear me?” He reached over and poured some water into a small paper cup. “Here, drink this.”
Bay did as she was told because she didn’t know what else to do. “What if the baby comes and she doesn’t want me there? I’m worried about her. She’s only a little girl and I’ve hurt her so badly.” Tears welled up again.
“Stop crying. You’re not helping yourself, and you’re certainly not helping your daughter. You need to pull yourself together. You’re the adult here.”
His stern manner had the desired affect.
“Are you always this mean?”
“Yes. Now without the drama, tell me what’s going on. Why is your daughter distraught? Is there something we should know to help her through this?”
Bay took a deep breath. “She found out tonight that I’m not her mother. My sister is her mother. When she discovered her birth certificate, she ran all the way to her boyfriend’s house, where she started having pain. Obviously brought about by the shock of it all. So there’s no one else to blame if something happens to her or the baby.”
“I’m sure it won’t come to that.”
“But if she’s having contractions…”
“We have ways of stopping contractions, so it’s not a done deal yet. And even if the baby did arrive, it would likely be fine after an nicu stay. Right now, they’ll concentrate on keeping her calm, for her own sake. If she won’t see you, is there another relative she’s close to? Her dad?”
“I don’t know who her father is.”
“I see. Well, that young man seemed a little overwhelmed in there. I assume he’s the father of the baby?”
Bay nodded.
“Perhaps we should get his parents involved.”
“His parents don’t want anything to do with Ashley or the baby.”
“Oh.”
Bay looked away. “What a miserable situation this is. Ashley has so few people in her life, and now the only two relatives she has left have been taken from her. No wonder she’s so frightened. No wonder we’re all frightened.”
Michael watched Bay. She seemed to have forgotten he was in the room.
“What about Gertie? Is your daughter close to her?”
Bay’s face lit up. “Of course, that’s a great idea. I’d feel much better if Gertie was with her.”
“I’ll go upstairs and ask your daughter if that would be all right.”
“Thank you.”
The two of them walked out of the room and down the corridor. Before Bay pushed open the door to the waiting room, she turned to Michael. “I’m sorry I said you were mean.”
“Don’t let it happen again.”
He gave her a fleeting smile and disappeared into an elevator.
Gertie waited in the hall outside Ashley’s room watching nurses and the occasional doctor go in and out. She wasn’t allowed in right away. While she stood there, she tried to figure out what was going on; downstairs, neither Bay nor Tansy were able to finish a coherent sentence without getting too emotional. She finally told them it didn’t matter. Whatever had gone on made no difference. She reassured them she’d be there for Ashley and they seemed to get some comfort from that.
Just before Gertie left to go upstairs, Matt’s parents arrived. She hoped there wouldn’t be a scene, but they were subdued and asked how Ashley was. If they thought it was odd that Bay wasn’t upstairs with her daughter, they didn’t say anything. They sat a couple of rows away, since it was clear Bay and Tansy were too preoccupied to speak to them.
Eventually a nurse came out and said Gertie could go in. Ashley was lying in bed with her eyes closed, looking small and exhausted, her hands covering her belly. Matt was still by her side.
“Hi,” Gertie whispered. “What’s the latest news?”
“The contractions have stopped, thank God. They’re pretty optimistic that they won’t start again, but they want to keep her here for a couple of days to make sure. They said she was underweight and needed to go on some kind of protein drink. They’re monitoring her blood pressure, too. It’s been kind of scary.”
Gertie walked over and put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure it’s been very scary, but Ashley has a strong will. I know she’ll be fine and so will the baby.”
“I hope so.”
“Why don’t you get something to drink? I’ll stay here with her. You should go down and tell your parents what’s going on.”
“They’re here?”
“They’re in the waiting room.”
“Okay.”
“And make sure you tell Bay and Tansy what you told me. It’ll make them feel better.”
“Sure.”
Matt left the room and Gertie sat in the chair beside Ashley’s bed. She put her hand over the side bars and placed it on top of Ashley’s small hand, to let her know that someone was with her.
She opened her eyes. “Hi, Gertie.”
“Hi, munchkin. You gave us quite a fright.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I guess mister man here decided he couldn’t wait to see his mother.” She patted Ashley’s belly.
At the word mother, Ashley put her arm across her eyes. Her shoulders began to shake.
“Honey, please don’t get upset. You need to stay quiet for the baby.”
Ashley nodded but kept her eyes hidden.
“Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Did you know about this too?”
“About what?”
Ashley removed her arm. “That Mom isn’t my mom.”
Gertie made a face. “What do you mean?”
“Tansy is my mother.”
Gertie couldn’t speak.
“I know. It’s crazy, huh? The two of them have kept this secret for almost eighteen years. Did they think I’d never find out? Why didn’t they tell me when I was a kid? Why keep it from me? Because of their ridiculous pact, my whole life is a lie.”
Gertie wasn’t sure how to handle this disclosure. Her brain was in overdrive, trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. She needed to choose her words carefully. Her main goal at this moment was to help Ashley through what must have been a terrible shock. No wonder the baby nearly arrived.
“I can’t begin to understand why your mother and Tansy kept this a secret. Maybe I’ll never understand it. But I do know one thing, Ashley. They love you madly. There isn’t anything they wouldn’t do for you.”
“Except tell the truth.”
“You have every right to be upset and disappointed with their behaviour. I’m not going to try and talk you out of your hurt or your outrage. You need to feel that. You deserve an explanation and once you’re ready to hear it, I’m sure they will tell you everything you need to know. Until then, you have to think about yourself and that little baby inside you.”
Ashley got upset. “Where am I going to go? I can’t go home. And I can’t go to Matt’s because his mother hates me…”
“That’s why you’re coming home with me, and I won’t take no
for an answer.”
Gertie got out of the chair and leaned over to give Ashley a hug. Ashley put her arms around Gertie’s neck and wouldn’t let go.
Ashley’s doctor came in shortly after and told Gertie and Matt that they should go home. Ashley and the baby needed their rest. He reassured them that things looked good and if there were any changes they’d be the first to know. They both kissed Ashley goodbye, and she didn’t protest at their leaving. In fact, she was asleep before they left the room.
Back down in the waiting room, Tansy and Bay and Matt’s parents all stood when Matt and Gertie came through the door. It was Gertie who did the talking.
“She’s fine, the baby is fine. She’s sound asleep and she’s being well taken care of. We can go home and get a good night’s rest and come back and see her tomorrow.”
Matt’s father, Ian, said, “We’ll say goodnight then. If there’s anything we can do, don’t hesitate to call.”
Bay grabbed Matt’s arm. “Thank you for being so good to her. I’m grateful she has you in her life.”
Matt looked done in. He nodded his head. His mother put her arm around his shoulders. “It’s been a long night for everyone. It’s time we took him home.”
The three of them walked away. Gertie looked at the other two, who stood in misery in front of her. “Let’s go. I think we need a stiff drink.”
No one spoke all the way home, the three of them lost in their own thoughts. Merlin was happy to see them. Tansy said she’d take him out for a pee and immediately went back outdoors. While Bay sat at the kitchen table, Gertie put the kettle on and went into the dining room and came back with a small, unopened bottle of brandy. She took three mugs and the brandy over to the table and when she’d finished making tea, she poured it in the mugs and then added a slosh of brandy to each one. By this time Tansy was back in with the dog. After she gave him a couple of dog treats, she sat at the table with Gertie and Bay. No one said anything. It was finally Gertie who spoke.
“I never suspected. I never suspected in a million years. You two have been carrying around this secret for almost two decades. Were you ever going to tell her, Bay? Didn’t she have a right to know?”
Tansy spoke up. “Don’t blame Bay. It was my fault. My mother and sister were trying to protect me.”
