by Shea Berkley
I awoke, gasping for air. Though my eyes were open, my vision was foggy and unfocused, and for a moment, I thought I had seen…had seen…someone. I blinked and rubbed at my eyes, but the fogginess was a mist that had settled into the cove. I eased myself to a sitting position and gazed out over the mist shrouded pool, searching for what had caught my eye. The water near the falls churned and bubbled, but the rest of the pool lay still and quiet. It had probably been a shadow cast by a passing bird.
As I glanced around the area, I noticed a decided dip in the moss near the water’s edge. On closer inspection, it had all the hallmarks of an imprint which ended just a few inches from where I lay. I frowned and bent closer, checking the ground nearest me where the moss had been scratched away to reveal the dull brown earth. I traced my finger along the ridges, ridges that looked like long, scratches
They reached just shy of my resting place.
A fine joke. Had my friends followed me here? Was there no place I could find peace? I jerked my head up. “Tait? Douglas? Cyril?” Those friends would find it a great laugh to scare me like this. They all knew the story of the nix and had teased me to no end. “Gordie?” Had he already heard how I embarrassed myself with Nari? Was this his great plan to get even with me for upsetting his sister?
Again I cried out their names, but no hushed laughs echoed back, only the muffled rush and plummet of the water and the beasts of the forest. I placed my hand on the springy green clumps. The moss felt cool…and soaking wet. My gaze returned to the water.
A recollection dashed across my minds’ eye. A vision upon my waking just moment’s past. I concentrated, pulling the foggy memory into focus. A person. Sort of. More like a vague outline of someone obscured by the patchy mist, hovering for just a second in the water. My heart leapt to my throat. Someone…or something had tried to reach me while I slept. A shiver spiraled down my spine, and the last trace of grogginess disappeared. I jumped up. With widened eyes, I looked down. Just like with a feather mattress, a perfect outline of a body had been pressed into the moss.
It wasn’t a nix. It couldn’t be. The tale was a figment of my father’s delirious mind. Still, the enchantment of the area faded, and I eased away from my resting place and into the forest where the soft touch of green and the scratch of bark held more familiar sensations than that of sparkling water and unexplainable wet moss.
It took me a while to find my way home in the fading light, but when I got there, I found Gordie and Tait waiting.
“Oi,” Gordie cried out, his face alive with emotion as he gave me a thump to my chest. “What did you do to my sister?”
It was late and I was in a foul mood. I felt my jaw tighten, still carrying the remnants of alarm I experienced when I lay at the water’s edge. “You trying to scare me, Gordie? That was a great laugh back there, but you’ll have to do more than that to put me off.”
“Why you thick-headed little mongrel,” he growled, slapping me on the back of my head. “Don’t you go putting me off. I asked you a bloody question. What did you do?”
I got right into his face, my nose to his chin, and snarled back, “I will not be bullied.”
Tait stepped between us. “Easy, lads. You know a girl can get all excited about nothing. Now, Gordie, let poor Ryne say what he needs to say.” He turned to me and nodded encouragingly. “Go on. What happened?”
Tait was a tricky one. When I thought he was on my side, he’d often turn at the last minute and bring me low. He was the exact opposite of Gordie’s dark, brooding good looks, yet no less handsome. The pair made all the girls swoon when they walked by. It was disgusting.
“I didn’t do anything to her,” I snapped.
“Then why’s she crying?” Gordie demanded to know.
Nari was crying? My stomach tightened, but I refused to let it bother me. I shrugged as if I cared naught for her tears. “How would I know?”
“I saw you running toward your house…and then there she comes, not more than a moment later, all teary.” He shoved a finger into my face. “That’s not a coincidence, my lad. That’s proof you did something.”
“We argued, all right? That’s all. It’s not like we’ve never argued before.” That was true. I and the lad had argued fiercely over the years. But now? Things were different.
“You’ve never made her cry before.”
What could I say? That I didn’t know I’d left her in tears? I didn’t, but what would that do? I could hardly say I found Nari to be the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. They’d laugh.
When I finally looked up, they were staring at me. I looked from Gordie to Tait, and the latter’s face suddenly brightened. “You tried to kiss her, didn’t you?”
Shock rocked me back on my heels. I hadn’t but I’d wanted to. “I did not,” I choked out sounding as horrified as I felt.
“Why not?” Gordie, asked, sounding offended that I hadn’t.
They couldn’t know the chaos Nari had thrown me into. My life would be misery if they did. I scrambled for a defense. Screwing up my face, I sprang forward, slamming into Tait’s chest as I yelled over his shoulder toward Gordie, “I would as much kiss her as I would you, you ugly puss.”
“Oh-ho…” Tait said with a knowing look as he grabbed my arm and pushed me back. “I understand now. Our little man likes her.”
Gordie’s face suddenly lost all its anger. “What? Is that what this is? You like Nari?”
“I don’t,” I insisted. They had to believe me. If they didn’t, I’d…I’d…die.
Tait’s smile grew even wider. “Look at him, all red-faced and bug-eyed. He likes her all right, and it scared her to tears.”
I slammed my fist into the bigger lad’s upper arm. “Shut up, Tait.”
My hit didn’t faze him one bit. He only cast a glance back at Gordie. “Yep, sounds like a lad who wanted a kiss, but didn’t have the stomach to take it. Sad, that. I thought we taught him better.”
“Watch it, Tait,” Gordie said with a frown. “That’s my sister you’re talking about.”
I felt sick inside. Suddenly, all I wanted was to lie down and cry myself to sleep. What kind of a rough and tumble lad would admit to that? Instead, I broke free of Tait’s restraining hand and turned away. “Go off with you. I don’t want to talk anymore.”
Tait yanked me into a head lock and raked his knuckles across my head. “Aww, come on. Give us a smile. It’s not the first time you will be greeted with disgust when you go for a kiss and a cuddle.”
“Let him be, Tait,” Gordie said, pulling his best friend off me. “Why don’t you go on? I’ll be right behind you.”
“You sure?” Tait pushed his blond hair out of his eyes. “I would hate to hear tomorrow how you beat poor Ryne into an early grave.”
“On my word,” Gordie swore, “I’ll not hurt him.”
“Right, then.” Tait cuffed me on the side of my head. “If he feints left, well…I guess that means he lied and you’ll be dead by morning. Good luck with that.” And he strode away.
Some friend he was. I didn’t trust Gordie, so why did he?
I backed up. My house was only a few yards away. My legs were shorter than Gordie’s, but I’d always been faster than him. I could be inside behind a locked door before he even took his first step. “I mean it, Gordie. I won’t talk about it. You might as well leave.”
He shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Stop moving around like that. I gave my word no harm would come to you.”
I gave measure to his words and the sincerity in which he spoke them, and I finally managed to stand still.
“That’s better,” he said, and then, “There’s nothing wrong with you liking my sister.”
I cautiously watched him take a step forward, and I prepared to run. He noticed and stopped. “You’re as skittish as a fox caught in the hen house, but you needn’t be.”
“I’m fine. I swear I’ll never like her.”
“You swear? Is that it then? Do you fear the pact?” He laughed. �
��That was a stupid thing we did. But rest assured, you won’t die tomorrow. God knows boys are stupid. He won’t hold you to it.”
“I know that.” But I still felt a deep sickness in my belly that I couldn’t explain. All I knew was that my best friend was gone and had never really existed.
Gordie cocked his head thoughtfully. “Good. Because of all the lads I know, I’d rather you like Nari than them.”
“You’re talking to air,” I blurted out. I didn’t like this Gordie, the lad who talked gently and could see right through me. Was my sudden love for Nari that obvious? “I told you, I don’t like her, and I most definitely did not try and kiss her.”
“Fine. If that’s the way you want it.” He turned to leave, but then turned back. “I’ll be expecting you to apologize. You hurt her feelings, you know.”
As he turned and walked away, I felt the world grow heavy upon my shoulders. “I know.” But I couldn’t apologize. Not yet.
5
I would like to say I quickly forgave Nari of the change. But I didn’t. It was a betrayal of the worst kind. She had been a lad for so long, and a right fine lad to boot, that to see her any other way was a shock. But there she was, day after day, a girl. No one but me seemed to see Nari in her new form. She came and went with as much notice as she had always generated–none at all.
But not to me. I knew the moment she was near. I felt her presence like a living touch that had me cowering in the oddest places.
A few weeks after I’d given her up for good, Nari waylaid me in the market, behind the tanner’s hut. “Why won’t you talk to me?” She snarled in my face.
I should have known the rancid stench of wet animal skins and rotting flesh wouldn’t have put her off like other girls. She grabbed my arm, her strong fingers digging into my muscle as she voiced her desperate plea. “What did I do wrong?”
I shook off her hand. “Nothing.”
She moved into my line of vision, and my gaze darted past her, focusing on the street vendor selling plump meat pasties.
It was true. Nari had done nothing purposely. My mother had explained to me how life never stayed the same. Even I would change and there was little I could do about it. All the other lads had gone, and Nari and I had made a pact to never leave each other. A wishful illusion. When I looked at Nari, I was forced to see my future, and the thought of growing up scared me, for the only future I possessed was one pointing toward death.
“Then why won’t you talk to me? Even now you won’t look at me. Am I really so ugly?”
My heart pounded within my chest. Had Gordie or Tait told her what I’d said that day outside my house? I spoke out of defense. How could she not know how breathtaking she looked with the sun painting gold on her hair and the light of mischief in her eyes? I swallowed down the silly words of praise and forced out a bitter lie. “I have nothing to say to you…ever.”
Desperation filled the tight alley. “Ryne, you are my best friend. I cannot lose you.”
“I am not your best friend. Why don’t you find some girl to talk to?”
“What? You know how I feel about them. They’re silly, stupid creatures.”
“They are just like you.”
She stiffened and said in a choked voice, “Take that back.”
She wanted too much from me. Unlike her, I was still just a lad. I couldn’t allow the strange feelings she conjured to return. Concentrating on the dips and grooves on the uneven ground, I told her what my heart did not wish to say. “I cannot be your friend, Nari. Please try and understand. I cannot.”
After a moment of strained silence, a strangled hiccough sounded, and I made the mistake of looking up at her. Big, luminous eyes filled with tears until one escaped and rolled fat and wet down her perfect cheek.
Horrified, I watched another race after the first. “Stop it,” I whispered huskily. “Stop it.”
“I can’t,” she moaned.
My belly grew hot, and the feeling rushed to my face and tightened my lips. I would be sick. “Leave me alone. Just…leave me alone.”
I roughly pushed her against the wall and darted out into the bustle of the market. Needed items were forgotten in my rush to find a safe haven where I could will my heart to slow and my face to cool.
Nari was not one to give up so easily. She could be like a terrier after a rat, sniffing and digging until she cornered her quarry and nipped at it until she got what she wanted. And Nari typically got what she wanted. So I vowed to disappear, to lay low and quiet and wait for her to give up the chase.
And she did, though not by her own want. With her husband’s hard-won consent, the new wife sent Nari off to a cousin’s to refine her wifery skills. It was a last ditch effort to “civilize her,” the new wife had been heard saying. “God knows I have done what I could,” she complained to a pocketful of her cronies. “But bad seed being what it is, there is little hope she’ll come back with any real talent or hope of a husband.”
From my hiding place, I glared at the new wife. I wanted to tell that hateful woman right then and there that Nari had more talent than any female I knew. She could swing a fist more accurately, snare a rabbit easier, and run faster than all us lads combined. But it would do no good. The new wife was determined to see her ‘strange’ step-daughter go. From my hiding place, I watched Nari search the crowd, and saw her shoulders droop when they loaded her and her things into an old cart that carried her off to a village half a week’s ride away.
I should have been happy to see her off, but misery closed in on me and wouldn’t let me go. I thought I should go mad thinking of her. What was she doing? Who was she with? Did she think of me? Did she even care?
I hated this new weakness that had me lying awake at night listening to the heavy breathing of my parent’s fill the house. Even the lap of water against the lake’s shore couldn’t soothe me. What was wrong with me that I would turn away from my best friend? I felt deceived. I had bit on the illusion she had built, yet I’d conveniently forgotten my part in its creation.
Sensing my despair, my father pulled me aside one day. “I heard tell the smithy is in need of a lad.”
“A good job, Ryne,” my mother piped in. And far from the lake, her gaze relayed.
“He’s a good man, that Jack,” my father announced. “Go. An apprenticeship is just what you need.”
The opportunity held little inspiration. “I would rather work with you.” And far away from the gossip.
“And I would rather you make money than ease my work. Off with you, now.”
Though I’d rather not go, I went. The ping and grunt of the smithy met me before I entered the shop. The usual crowd gathered close, men darkened by the sun, and honed by a long, hard days’ work. My father was right. There was money to be made with the constant flow of plows to fix, wheels to mend and horses to shoe. The men saw me coming and parted, each hesitating to get too close. I pretended not to notice how they fell silent and how their stares followed me. I lingered on the edge, awaiting my chance to speak to Jack.
The smithy pounded out a smooth rhythm. Muscles rolled and sweat glistened as the big man labored to mold the iron clamped between the iron tongs. I was still but a runt of a boy. What could possibly be expected of me in a place like this?
Jack stopped, and wiped his brow, and looked up when he noticed the heavy silence. When he saw me, a look of alarm passed before he shuttered his emotions. “Ryne. What brings you here?”
An endeavor more hopeless could not be found, but I stepped forward and nodded my greeting. “My father heard you are offering an apprenticeship.”
An indistinct noise rose from the men, and Jack cast a quick glance their way. “I-I am…”
“Inviting disaster, Jack, that’s what you are if you take on this lad,” Cyril’s father said.
“Aye,” came the rumble of agreement.
“Who would trust him?” a deep voice near the back of the crowd asked.
“I would work hard,” I offered, trying my be
st to ignore their claim.
“Until the day he disappears,” someone shouted.
“Inviting the curse in your home, Jack,” Cyril’s father warned.
The smithy’s face paled. He turned unyielding eyes on me as his gripped tightened against the heavy hammer he held. “I need no curse from a dead lad on my hands. Go on with you. Tell your father to foist you off on someone else.”
My body had grown tense. An unexpected pang swelled within my chest. He spoke as if I were already dead. As if I were an unwelcome spirit bent on evil.
Distrusting glares pierced my skin. Angry whispers assaulted my ears. I slowly backed away, and then turned and ran.
My father looked up from the stone he was splitting when I approached. His cheerful greeting faded with one look at me. “What did he say?” Though he knew it was not good.
I kept walking. He shot a hand out and pulled me to a halt. We stared at each other for a long time. My breathing had yet to settle from fear and the run home.
“Well?” he prodded.
“He doesn’t want a dead lad working for him.”
His fingers tightened on my arm. “What are you talking about?”
“Me,” I shouted. “They fear the curse. Don’t you get it? Your stupid tale has ruined my life.”
He pulled away, confusion highlighting his weathered features. “No. They misunderstand. You misunderstand. I’ll talk to them. I’ll make sure they—”
“They won’t listen. They’re afraid. You have made them all afraid.” I took a step forward and then stopped. “Never speak of her to me again.”
He needn’t ask of whom I spoke. From that moment on, the tale of the nix would no longer find a place in my life. I began helping my father with his stone work the next day. I eased his physical burden, but not our woes, for money still eluded us no matter how hard we toiled.
Without my best friend by my side, the looks and whispers of the villagers closed in on me. Visiting the village made my stomach churn. Mothers pulled their children indoors when they saw me. At first I thought nothing of it until one afternoon, my mother dragged me to the Market, a convenient pack mule for her mounting provisions. As I quietly followed her from stall to stall, I accidentally bumped into a girl admiring some ribbons with two of her friends. The three gasped.
