“I’m not going to let a pack of assholes take us down this early. I’ve got this. Hold my sanity.” She scooped up a handful of dirt and patted it into her wound in the hopes that it would do something about the bleeding.
“I don’t think that’s sanitary.”
“Shut up.”
Arden teleported back to the Warp Gate room. She dispelled the Hallucination, the fake wet food plant disappearing. The gnarlixes recalibrated their target, fixing their gazes on Arden. One of them let out a banshee cry, while the other blasted out two powerful snorts.
She made a beeline towards them, then sharply veered off to the right. The smell of her blood fresh in their nostrils, they chased after her.
A second Arden, courtesy of her Cast Hallucination spell, appeared in the room. It, too, was leaking blood.
The second target wasn’t as tantalizing as the first. The best blood came from the tap that was the frantic pixie flying around the room. The gnarlixes were desperate to quench their thirst. She could tell that these games were beginning to frustrate them. The wild look in their eyes said it all.
Arden rose over them.
One of them made a jump for her. At that same moment, she released one of Robin’s daggers from her Inventory. It spun a few times before making its mark between the monster’s shoulder blades.
Arden dive-bombed, crashing into the handle. The dagger crunched through flesh and bone as it went in further, the gnarlix screaming. She activated her Disguise, turning into her human-like form, complete with cat ears and a tail to show her allegiance to her dungeon. She needed size if she was going to pull off this trick.
The gnarlix thrashed. It tried to buck her off. She braced, her legs tensing as she refused to go anywhere.
The other monster ran for them.
Time to go.
Arden yanked the dagger down the monster’s back. Its skin split open, her gutting efforts sending blood flying. Another thrash of the body–harder this time–and the gnarlix succeeded in launching her.
She landed on the other side of the room, skidding to a stop and receiving a nasty amount of dirt burn.
The pouring blood snapped the uninjured monster into a frenzy. It turned on its partner, screeching with the kind of glee Arden used to see in herself. The injured gnarlix didn’t have the strength to fight back. Once its former ally had it pinned, it was all over.
The defender took some beleaguered bites out of its attacker, but within less than a minute, it was the frenzied gnarlix who won. Arden watched it all from her corner of the room, the other dagger gripped tightly in her hands.
The victor tore the loser’s throat. Finally dead, it exploded into a flurry of glitter, as was customary for corpses in a dungeon.
Arden stood up, her legs shaking she stalked towards the creature. She changed her grip, the ruby on the handle digging into her palm.
Chomping on gore like it was cud, the remaining gnarlix raised its chin towards her.
“It’s you or me,” she said.
The look it gave her was so reminiscent of an eye roll that Arden would’ve laughed if she wasn’t so battered and broken.
It took charge. Arden threw her arm out in front of her. The gnarlix closed its mouth over her limb, its teeth sinking in and trapping her. Bits of the other creature were still in its mouth. They provided a minimal cushion to Arden’s pain.
With a scream, she jammed the dagger into the side of the beast’s throat.
A sudden fire ignited, the ruby on the dagger flashing brightly. The flames burst over the monster. Its eyes popped, the liquid spewing and hitting Arden. She turned away, her senses filling with the acrid smell of burnt flesh.
Skin crackled and bubbled, but none of it was hers. In fact, the fire did nothing to her.
Her arm now free, Arden stepped back to watch the gnarlix go through its death throes. It writhed, becoming thoroughly charred before turning into sparkly bits. The fire died down, shrinking to nothingness.
“So these jewels weren’t gaudy decoration,” Arden said, examining the dagger. “They’re runes.”
Without a Research Center, they wouldn’t be able to study the weapon’s exact properties. From what she could tell, the rune gave the dagger the chance to bacon fry its enemies.
“You did it!” Minette cheered. “You saved us. You’re our hero.”
“I hate heroes.”
“Then, you’re our favorite little villainess,” Minette said with a giggle. “Aren’t we lucky you nicked those daggers?”
“Yeah,” Arden said. She slumped over and deactivated her Disguise. “Order a worker to fetch these daggers. I’m done. Ask me to do something and I’ll say ‘I prefer not to.’” Her head lulled to the side.
“Whoa! Your vitals are dropping!”
“That’s what happens when you’re dying. This is fine.” Arden sighed. “I can’t be bothered anymore. Goodbye, world.”
And with those parting words, Arden the Endless Terror, Dungeon Pixie to the Trash Tier Dungeon, died.
Chapter 6
Robin grabbed his friend’s arm to stop him from chasing the woman who left them in tears. “Let her go.”
They’d made an unfortunate scene in Kazzipur’s tavern. Jennifer, the aforementioned woman and one of Robin’s most trusted guild members, didn’t take his news very well. She ran off, her sobbing functioning as a beacon for the Kazzipurrians’ attention.
“If she’s smart she’ll shut herself in the inn and cry it out,” Robin said. “She needs to get over it.”
Micah, wide-set and burly, had a difficult time sitting back down. The tavern’s chairs weren’t built to accommodate someone of his size. “She’ll never get over it. She can’t. You know what the daggers mean to her.”
“It’s not like they’re hers.”
“Show some heart!” Micah pounded the table.
“Keep it down!”
Their fellow tavern patrons stared at Robin and Micah like dogs waiting for scraps. They hungered for drama among many other things. He glared at the eavesdroppers, one by one.
The ones at the bar turned around. The couple at the next table over returned to their conversation in hushed tones. One man, embarrassed over getting caught, spilled his drink.
“This town is a mess,” Robin said. “Everyone’s so listless and hollow-eyed. They tread water without going anywhere. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
“You’re trying to change the subject.”
“So what if I am? There’s nothing more to say. We’re going back to that wretched dungeon and getting my daggers back.” He laid his napkin in his lap. “Jennifer didn’t have to ruin dinner by running away like that. I don’t know what my brother saw in her.”
“Talon died for those daggers. It only makes sense that she’s upset they’re gone.”
Robin held up a finger. “They’re not gone. We’ll get them back without any trouble. That dungeon was as lifeless as Kazzipur. It’s such a sad town. Have you ever seen a place where the storekeepers don’t see a reason to keep their shelves stocked?”
“They don’t have many customers.”
“That’s a poor excuse. What would happen if a guild bigger than ours shows up here? They’d have nothing to sell.”
“I did think it was weird that the clothing store had nothing to offer,” Micah said. “The people aren’t too welcoming, either. They’re bland about everything. It’s not like they’re mean, but they’re not going out of their way to be hospitable.”
“That’s what I’m saying. It’s odd.” Robin’s fork pierced through the fried potato patty sitting on his plate. Grease leaked out of it. “I’m not expecting perfection, just a little bit of effort.”
“This must be why no one likes staying here for long. It’s creepy.” Micah raised his beer mug to his face.
“Somebody needs to give these people a purpose. They’re lost.”
“At least they know how to make a decent drink.”
“What a small blessing. They kn
ow how to drink their boredom away.” Robin rolled his eyes.
“You’ll apologize to Jennifer once we’re done eating, won’t you?”
“Back to this again?”
“She deserves one. She hasn’t been the same since we lost Talon.”
“She’s too sensitive.” Robin sighed. “I’ll say I’m sorry if it’ll get her to stop being so hysterical. I don’t need her marring the Wonder Guild’s good name with her theatrics.”
“Thank you.”
“We’ll get my daggers back. I swear my life on it.” Robin popped the potato patty into his mouth and spoke around the spud. “That little dagger thief’s dead, you hear me. Dead!”
Chapter 7
But of course, Arden came back to life because that was how she functioned as a Dungeon Pixie. It wouldn’t do for a pixie to permanently die.
“You sure slept for ages,” Minette greeted her. “I almost thought you’d never wake up.”
Arden stretched, raising her arms towards the ceiling. “Dying’s awful. Zero out of 10; would not recommend.”
“I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“If it’s a dozen farms, I’m going to the surface level and dragging another gnarlix down here.”
“If you do, at least you’ll have some backup to take them down this time.”
A feline creature slunk into the room, the green circle under its feet highlighting its features. It was a quadruped with a long body that lay close to the ground. Its whiskers twitched as it took in Arden’s appearance.
“Is this what I think it is?” Arden asked. “Show me its detailed information.”
[Name: Catten
Type: Organic
Class: Feline Beast
Health: 30
Armor: None (0)
Attack 1:
- Reach: Melee
- Damage: 5
- Speed: Fast
- Cooldown: Low
- Bonus: n/a
Specials:
- n/a
Movement Speed: Fast
Cost: 25 shinies
Requirement: Cattenery
Description: A basic melee unit with a preference for chicken over fish. It is slender-bodied and small with pointed ears and whiskers, resembling a cross between a marten and a cat. The catten may have low health, but it makes up for that weakness in its overall speed.]
“Great. We can have him defend the Warp Gate room.” They didn’t need to go through another gnarlix-type of situation anytime soon.
“Her,” Minette corrected, “and don’t you want to try petting her first?”
“Why would I want to do that?”
“Because Blaize is a cute and precious catten who deserves to be cherished.”
“That is quite the name for it.”
“She’s not an it. She’s a she. Her name was inspired by that burninating you did to that monster. The daggers are over there, by the way. You should probably grab them in case anything weird happens here.”
Arden shook her head. “I’ll take them as defense for now, but that’s the last time I plan on fighting. We’ve got cattens now.”
“Which you can pet! It’ll soothe your soul and boost your Morale. Try it.”
“I don’t have a Morale score like that. You should have remembered that from when you selected me.” Arden shivered, remembering the sensation. It was like she’d been unpeeled, divested of her privacy. Having her details out in the open like that made her feel naked.
Just to get Minette to stop bothering her about it, Arden flew over to Blaize the catten. Her tail swished lazily from side to side.
“Meow,” said the catten.
“Hello,” said the pixie.
“Cute,” said the dungeon.
And so the pixie stroked the catten between her ears. Blaize purred, bunting the crown of her skull against Arden’s palm.
Glad to get that out of the way, Arden paid a visit to the new rooms. Her first stop was the Recreation Center. Climbing equipment, scratching posts, branching sisal rope-covered trees, and toys covered the room. Every object could refill the units’ Morale in whatever ways they wanted to use them.
One of the workercats, Grandis, was getting a play session in. He scrambled up one of the trees at the slow pace expected of a workercat and reached his paws towards the dungeon’s version of a sky also known as a ceiling.
Arden didn’t stick around to see what he would do next. She flew to the Cattenery.
A smaller sized Warp Gate took up the center of the room. The cattens spawned from that gate, born from an interdimensional process that only dungeons were privy to. However she did it, Minette was able to generate cattens in this room.
Besides the gate, there wasn’t much of interest inside the Cattenery. It had a wood floor that was already marred with claw marks. From the looks of it, Blaize had been running laps around the room. There were grooves in the wall that seemed to function as handholds for zealous climbers.
“How are we on resources?” Arden asked.
“55 shinies. Are we going to build a Monster Lounge next?”
“Let’s build a second catten and then make our Research Center. After that, we can start on the Monster Lounge.” Personally, Arden found “infirmary” a better name for the room than Monster Lounge.
The Catten Gate lit up. A swirling ball of energy spun over its golden platform, the faint silhouette of a catten within it.
Arden examined the semi-transparent screen floating above it.
[UNIT PROGRESS:
2% complete.
This is a catten.]
“I wonder if we will be able to see the projected time to completion if we research it in the Center,” Arden mused.
Minette sneezed.
“You okay there?” Arden asked.
“Yeah, it happens sometimes.”
“You better not be getting sick.”
Sick dungeons were dysfunctional. Their illnesses came in many forms. Sometimes, they couldn’t see any of their menus. Their spells would be stunted. Monsters would start getting sick like they caught whatever the dungeon had. Odd commands would be given to the units, like telling them to walk the longest path through the dungeon for no discernible reason.
The last time she dealt with a sick dungeon, all of its units had broken. They kept flopping to the side like their limbs no longer worked.
“I’d rather not have to scrape a bunch of cats off of the floor,” Arden said, “so if you could stay not sick, that’d be great.”
“I’m not, I promise. I’ll try to keep it that way!”
***
As time went on, Minette’s words appeared more and more doubtful. Her sneezing continued. Arden wasn’t fooled into believing Minette’s intermittent squeaking was something other than held back sneezes.
Arden rubbed her eyes. Every so often, a fog rolled through her vision. She was going to tell Minette about it when the latest alert screen appeared.
[ALERT:
The Research Center is complete. Select the building to see the Research menu.]
“Let’s see what sorts of things we have available to us,” Arden said.
“It looks like there’s a great deal of them that are shadowed out. All the ones that I can see, though, are locked.”
That made sense. They hardly had any shinies left after their latest projects and they had yet to find a source of glowyrms. While the Research Center was being built, Arden had given Minette directions on how to expand their dungeon. A couple of workercats were working on a winding maze to slow down and confuse anyone or anything that entered the dungeon.
Despite the high amount of tunnels they’d dug, the workercats hadn’t found a glowyrm cave or a new source of shinies.
Arden reviewed the menu Minette displayed for her.
[RESEARCH MENU:
Boosters Units
Rooms
Dungeon & Pixie
Boosters are upgrades that can improve attack and armor values.
Specia
ls Units
Rooms
Dungeon & Pixie
Specials are abilities, skills, and/or spells.
Advancements
Advancements to be discovered through meeting certain objectives. They are unknown until then.
???
This category is currently unknown!]
“Let’s take a look at the Boosters for our cattens,” Arden said.
“One second. Here it is.”
[BOOSTERS -CATTEN-
Attack: * / ** / ***
Skin Density (Armor): * / ** / ***
Only one star of each can be purchased at this time. Advancements in the dungeon must be made before the others are unlocked.
The first star in its category will give a permanent +1. The first star costs 500 shinies and 200 glowyrms to purchase. You have insufficient funds.]
“Remind me how many resources we have left,” Arden said.
“Now? We have 10. Eagle is taking a break after that last construction project,” Minette said.
“Only having four workercats is starting to hurt us. We should make another.”
“What about the Monster Lounge? Blaize and Mickey-Scotia are going to need it if they get hurt.”
Arden narrowed her eyes. “Where are you getting these names?”
“I don’t know. I thought Mickey-Scotia had a nice ring to it.”
“Anyway, we’ll have to push that project back a bit. We should be gaining shinies at a faster rate.”
Considering that something as simple as upgrading attacks and armor cost that much, Arden paled imagining the prices for other things.
“Hey,” Minette said excitedly, “I can buy a Projection skill for 175 shinies and 20 glowyrms. It would let me walk around, well, inside of me. Maybe there’s an Advancement we could find that would let me turn it corporeal, you know, physical and stuff. That’d be fun.”
The Trash Tier Dungeon Page 6
